BKProse - Star Fox
by Tallbrain123
Summary: The story of a guy called Ditto, and his journey from our world to theirs. This time, he's in a variation of the Star Fox universe. The main characters are in high school and to get free of the game, he's got to find and help them. But something much bigger than anyone could have known is happening, and the universe itself is beginning to crumble. [Dormant]
1. Prologue and Chapter 1: Insertion

**DISCLAIMER:** I own no characters, ideas, or plots in this chapter or story, other than the first-person. Any characters not reserved by XxSanitariumxX are the properties of whoever owns StarFox, which is not me. Also, you should probably read Exchange Student by the author mentioned above before reading this story, because then you support him and know what's going on.

* * *

BK Prose: I'm in the game.

Prologue:

Hello, internet. I'm called [name omitted], but you can call me Ditto. Or Tallbrain, or Tallbrain123, or even George, doesn't really matter. Yes, I just broke the fourth wall, but I'm allowed to. And no, this isn't an author's note. You see, sometimes when I dream, it's more than a dream. Sometimes, I get put into an all-too-real universe, based off of a specific videogame. The dreams still have rules; I still feel pain, I can't get out until the game is beat, no matter how many days or weeks it takes, and I either take the place of my favorite character or I show up as someone else entirely. Oh, and it isn't just the same as a videogame, which have glitches. My own mind augments the game and gives it an extra layer of realism. Nothing up to this point is my choice, not even the game.

But the coolest part is the cheats. I can cheat in the game and bend reality for about one full second, doing pretty much whatever I want, at the cost of what I refer to as a Sin of the Unforgotten. (Yes, that's from Unforgotten Realms.) Basically, it feels and looks like someone's branding my left wrist with a hot iron, and until I leave the game, I can't get rid of the marks. Even weirder, the lines glow, and the others in the game can see them. I have so far assumed that five of them means game over, and that's generally a bad thing.

Oh, I've failed before. They (whoever the heck "they" are) put me in Castlevania (friggin Castlevania), and I died a few times. The game just makes me restart. I know, it sucks. That's when I found out I could cheat. Let me tell you, with one-hit kills and infinite lives, it gets a lot easier. But I've only ever gotten three of the marks, so I try to use them wisely. Besides, they hurt like crazy, so it isn't hard to avoid using them. Without further ado, I'll recount my last journey.

* * *

Chapter 1:

I didn't even know it had happened this time. Normally, I'm jolted awake and thrown through some kind of portal, and I appear in the universe in question, startling everyone nearby. But this trip wasn't normal, by any means. I only knew something had changed when I stretched out and felt the hard ground below me. I raised my head, suddenly aware of the sunlight, and saw a small variety of anthropomorphic animals, all pointing some kind of gun at my head.

Now, I'm generally a pretty laid-back guy. Heck, I don't even usually curse. But when that many people are willing to kill you, you generally sober up.

"Shit," I said, allowing myself a curse word as my head fell to the floor again and my hands slowly came up in an "I surrender" gesture. Without hesitating, they slapped some weird kind of handcuffs on me and escorted me to one of their vehicles.

_Okay_, I thought, _I'm going through a game. But which one?_ If it hadn't been for the animal-looking people, I'd have thought Grand Theft Auto (I hate that game, by the way). But my mind didn't think of every game that fit the bill. There could only have been one. _I'm in StarFox_, I thought with a smile. Maybe not one of my favorite games, but it passed the time when it needed to. Not to mention, this was the kind of game where you can easily look like you're the best, unlike most FPS games.

Then again, being thrown into a police car didn't seem familiar from any games I'd ever played (except GTA). And so far, the only universes I'd visited were those of videogames. This one would make sense if it was the world of a story I read once. But a fanfiction from a dream about a fanfiction about a videogame? That's weird no matter who you ask. I just shrugged it off, though. My mind probably put me right in the middle of the street. I must have slept through a few minutes of time, where the police had arrested the human who had materialized from the thin air.

Although, the fanfiction idea would actually make sense. I mean, in the story, humans and Cornerians hadn't exactly been getting along. So it would make sense that they'd arrest me. But what else would change? If I already altered the timeline, could I really reach the end and get out? I blanched when I realized something else; I hadn't even read to the end of that story. I shook my head. Something was off somehow, and I had to find out what.

* * *

Heh heh...yeah...about that...do you have any idea how hard it is to convince the local police that not only are you _not_ an enemy spy which used experimental technology to teleport to their planet, but that you're actually a denizen of a universe that, according to them, doesn't exist? Not to mention, that you need their help? It didn't go very well.

"Who sent you?!" one officer, a really, really loud bulldog shouted. These guys were jokes. They had to be the worst good-cop, bad-cop team I'd ever seen. And since they couldn't actually make me fear for my life, they were going nowhere fast. I only later found out that they had to work together because they were two of the few cops there who spoke fluent English. Everyone else apparently spoke Cornerian, and it wasn't a high priority to get me one of their automatic translator modules.

"Nobody sent me," I replied. "I already told you what happened."

"Now, I'm sure you're telling the truth," the second cop said, trying to sound sympathetic and pulling the dog out of my face. "But unless you can give me proof, I can't help you."

"Okay," I whispered, a devious idea coming to mind, "I think I want to tell you my secret now..." The "good" cop, a frog-man, leaned in to listen carefully. I lowered my voice further and finished, "I see dead people."

They somehow recognized the quote, and the frog threw up his hands in exasperation while the bulldog slammed his fist on the table in front of me, getting right up in my face. But he only managed to turn my laughter into an overconfident smirk. I didn't know what exactly their laws were, but I knew they couldn't hold me for too long without any real evidence. 'Course, I could've just cheated and got out of there, but I didn't actually think that would be a good idea.

"We'll be back to deal with you," the bulldog said threateningly.

"I'll be waiting," I said cockily. Of course, it wasn't until that moment that I realized that it'd be a good idea to get them on my _good_ side, but it was a little too late for that. I think the Sixth Sense joke kind of threw that out the window. Assuming that this, like in the story, was just a twisted future of ours, that would explain how they understood the joke. But if the story was true, James McCloud hadn't died yet. Maybe I could do something to help. But that meant getting close to Fox McCloud, and _that_ meant getting back into high school.

I had just graduated. I'd started school just at the end of their age group, so I'd ended up being a week too young for whatever grade I was in. That meant that people my age were still in high school. And that took away from the weirdness of my decision to go back. Of course, I had no idea which grade Fox would be in, but I figured starting as a freshman would be easiest. I glanced warily at my wrist, which didn't yet have marks, and I wondered whether it'd be worth it to add one to lower my age.

Before I could decide, the two officers returned, holding a thin file. I assumed it had everything they knew about me, which wouldn't amount to much information. The bulldog slapped the file down on the table and sat down in the only other chair, reading from it.

"So, this sheet says you're twenty years old," he began. _Wrong_, I thought. I decided that it would be worth it, and in the split-second before my near-infinite power faded, I changed my body's age and the age on the file to the number fifteen. He continued, ignoring my pained grunt as the mark emblazoned itself on my arm.

"...you dropped out of a school on Earth..." _Also wrong_.

"...and you're the son of an outspoken anti-cornerian man." _Definitely wrong. Well, he wouldn't agree with the idea of humanoid animals, but he isn't outspoken about it_.

"Sorry, but none of that's correct," I told him. I'd finally decided to turn off the sarcasm, hoping they could tell. "What I told you is the whole truth."

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" the bulldog growled. I resisted the urge to say "yes."

"Of course not."

"So," the frog said, "you really want us to believe that you come from a universe that doesn't exist?"

"A universe in which _you_ don't exist," I corrected. He only stared at me. "It isn't so hard to imagine," I told him. I began to wonder if the mark on my wrist could actually help me. "I mean, look at my file again. See the age?"

The frog and bulldog both looked again, and I swear, the bulldog would've dropped his jaw if it hadn't been attached.

"How'd you do that?" he accused. I rolled up my sleeve, revealing the mark.

"I didn't have this before. Now I do. This is only a side-effect of something that does prove that I'm telling you the truth."

"Okay," the frog said, "Changing the file would be difficult, but it's doable. Giving yourself a glowing tattoo in under a minute is harder, but I don't think it's impossible. You don't think that we trust you already, do you?"

"How old would you say I am now?" I asked, looking him in the eye. His eyes widened, and he double-checked the file. He said something in Cornerian to the bulldog, leaning on his chair calmly. The dog bristled and squinted at me before saying something back. The frog said something else, and the bulldog left the room in a huff.

"Forgive him," the frog said, taking his seat and closing the file. "Is there any way we can help with...whatever it is you're doing?"

"Yeah," I told him. "Ever heard of a James McCloud?"

"Who hasn't?" he asked, amused.

"I need to find his son. And I need to enroll in the school he's going to."

The frog hesitated. "That is...an odd request. Do you have any living arrangements in the mean time? Or at least a translator?"

"No. Remember, I just fell out of the sky."

"Well, I think I might be able to help you there. After all, you seem to be a minor now."

The bulldog came back into the room and tossed a clear bag my way. I barely managed to catch it before it bounced off of my chest onto the ground.

"The only thing we found on you before you woke up," he explained before leaving. I opened the bag and pulled out my iPod, looking questioningly at it. It was an iPod Touch, fourth generation, old by my standards for technology. A single crack ran across its center from side to side, but not from top to bottom. But what really concerned me was that it was here. In any other journeys, I hadn't had anything. And nothing else showed up this time; the wallet and keys that I always kept with me hadn't come, and even the headphones that I always wrapped around the iPod hadn't appeared.

"So why is this here?" I whispered to myself.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, I'll be honest, this idea came out of the blue. I did explain it mostly in the prologue, and I do plan on making a number of these. I love it because I can put my sarcasm, shortcomings, and knowledge into a videogame, while subtly (or not-so-subtly) changing the storyline. And yeah, this one specifically isn't based off of a game. It's based off of a fanfiction on this very website.

Oh, and I should mention that this story, including the Prologue, IS FICTIONAL. It'd be awesome, but it doesn't actually happen.

EDIT: As of now, I'm taking a step back to remove the self-insertion aspect. The first-person, while vaguely reminiscent of me, is not assumed to be me.


	2. Chapter 2: Family

Thanks for the positive review, Comrade. So you have wished it, so it shall be!

Disclaimer: There are no concepts, characters, or ideas written below or in the rest of this story that I lay claim to, other than the first-person. Many, many thanks to XxSanitariumxX for the story idea, and I'd definitely recommend you check out his stories, because his are better. And more original.

* * *

I should probably have at least shook hands with the frog, Isaac, after he convinced a foster family to take me in, got me a translator, and helped me get into the right school. After all, he'd gone well above and beyond the call of duty, and I hadn't even had to cheat to make him do it all. But in my defense, his hand _was_ that of a frog, and I wasn't too sure of whether it'd be slimy or warty. But I didn't forget to at least _tell_ him thank you before he drove away, leaving me in front of the family's house.

I turned toward the house, feeling a little bit less than prepared. The new translator that had been _loaned_ to me (the bulldog made that very clear) seemed simple enough. It somehow translated the words I heard and said, even though it was situated on my right arm, as opposed to on my ears or mouth. And apparently it had other functions. They hadn't told me much after showing me how to attach it and turn it on or off, but I didn't think I'd have much of a problem figuring it out.

I looked up and down the deserted streets nearby once more. The houses were all nice, and so were the lawns of most of them. One house across the street had a very untidy yard, and I made a mental note to avoid it, but I hadn't yet seen another person. _Maybe they're at work_, I reasoned, turning back to my new home. A maroon ceiling sat on top of the otherwise white two-story house, and a few windows sat on the second floor with the blinds drawn. There was a driveway off to my left, and the door sat a short way past it, shaded by the second story of the house. _Things seem to be going well_, I thought, walking up to the door. _As long as I'm not living with a serial killer, right?_

Even I had to admit, it hadn't been that bad. My new "mother" came out almost as soon as I knocked and swept me into a hug that may have injured my back. I almost had to applaud her enthusiasm at meeting someone who was not only a stranger, but also an alien by all appearances. I'm not one to judge women by their...attributes, but the raven that greeted me would have suffocated me with her chest if I was just a bit younger and shorter. And unlike what I'd thought, the feathers covering her body weren't like quills; they were soft and downy. When she finally let me go, I took a deep breath, and she pulled me inside, introducing me to everyone else in the house.

I found out quickly that she was named Joanne. She introduced me to her husband, a burly raven who she called Jake, but who I would give the oriental street name "Ho Lee Schitt." Maybe I would actually call him Lee, to make myself laugh. Their only real son was, obviously, a raven, too. He was around my new age, but he didn't seem to want to talk with me when he left the room the instant I entered. Joanne told me his name was Michael.

Nobody else was in the main room of the house, so after introducing myself, I asked where I could go to unwind and relax. Isaac must not have told the family of ravens where I'd come from, because they assumed I'd flown from a human-inhabited system somewhere. I didn't bother righting any rumors just yet, so I just agreed and made my way upstairs to the room they told me was mine.

Once inside, I sat on the bed closest to the door with a sigh. Not much else was in this room; there was a tall lamp near the door, which was almost pointless because of the lights on the ceiling fan. There was a window on the opposite side of the room as the door, and a computer across from the bed I was sitting on. There was another bed, but since both were neatly made, I assumed that neither one was being used.

"No cameras," I said, looking at the corners of the room. "So how weird could these people possibly be?"

Rather than trying to relax more, I began to inspect my translator. I'd been told that it had other functions, but since the few buttons on it had Cornerian symbols on them, I wasn't so sure pressing them randomly would help. For all I knew, the thing had a self-destruct feature that would very quickly and neatly screw me over. So after merely playing with the fastener for a little bit, I stood up and went to the computer. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to find, since it would probably all be in a weird language, too, but I figured it'd be worth a try.

"What are you doing?" a black feline asked from the doorway right after I found and pushed the power button.

"I was going to use the computer," I said hesitantly.

"You mean _my_ computer?" he asked, stomping toward me. I stood up, and he shut off the computer's monitor just before it finished booting up.

"I didn't know it was yours," I explained.

"Well...just leave it alone, okay?" he asked. His long black tail stopped flicking back and forth so rapidly.

"Alright, fine," I told him. Normally I would just try again when he wasn't looking, but there was something about him that made me not want to upset him. Besides, since this was his computer, I could safely assume that he knew where I slept. You don't want to upset anyone who fits that description. I just sat back down on my own bed.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said after a few moments. "I just don't like it when people touch my things."

"No, it's fine," I said. "I was just getting bored, is all."

"Oh, well, I was about to go hang out with some friends of mine. I think they'd be around your age. I mean, if you want to come," he said, not making eye contact. After a moment, he added, "I'm Colin, by the way."

"Ditto. And sure," I said. "I don't have anything better to do."

"Alright," he said. "Just grab your...oh...right. I'll just...meet me downstairs."

I couldn't help but chuckle; he was as nervous as a cat in a dog pound, no pun intended. But I decided that it couldn't hurt to go with him, and even though I wasn't one for socializing, I didn't think it could really end that badly.

I followed Colin downstairs, back into the living room, where Joanne, "Lee", and a small red robin were watching something on the television. I didn't recognize it, but it looked like a movie with Cornerian actors, so I didn't even try to figure it out.

"We're going out," Colin called.

"Oh," Joanne said, standing up. "Take care. And make sure Ditto doesn't get hurt," she said, gesturing toward me.

"Will do," he called, walking outside. I tried to follow him, but he rushed back inside before I reached the door.

"Is something wrong, honey?" Joanne asked before sitting down again.

"There are people out there."

"What?" she asked, standing up again. This time, Jake rose too. I went to the window and peeked out. Sure enough, there was a fairly small crowd of people, many of which had professional-looking cameras or microphones.

"What, do I have fans, now?" I asked. I knew the sight of a human on Corneria was something exciting, but I didn't really want to be on the news.

"I'll take care of 'em," he said after looking out the window. I couldn't help but to laugh as he did just that. It didn't take much more than a gesture and they all turned tail (literally) and ran. Some of them even demonstrated their knowledge of his street name. _I'll definitely be glad he's on my side_, I thought as he came inside again.

* * *

The next week was much less boring than I thought it'd be. Colin turned out to be pretty cool, once he warmed up to me. He even decided to show me more about my translator, and after he showed me how to use it to translate text using a little holographic window, I managed to get pretty good at using it. His friends weren't bad, either. I mean, it was still unusual meeting a whole group of people who I didn't know, but being older than them in both body and mind made it less awkward for me.

As for the others in the house, I generally tried to avoid them. When I wasn't in my room, I was going out to have fun and pass the time. Since I went with Colin a lot of the time, we became pretty fast friends, even though he was close to twelve years old. I didn't very much like spending time with Joanne, but that's most likely because she was starting to treat me like part of her own flock, or family, or whatever you'd call it. I avoided Jake, too, but mostly because he was intimidating. But he managed to get in a conversation, just him and I, and after that, I didn't mind being around him.

It wasn't long before I met the little red bird I'd seen that first day. Her name was Ruth, and she was only six years old. And she must have thought that a human was the best thing since sliced bread. When she wasn't asking me to play a board game or watch a show with her, she was just following me and imitating me. It got a little awkward, but once Joanne noticed my nervousness, she made Ruth stay busy more. As for the young raven in the house, I didn't even see him the whole time. And Joanne told me that there was another one in the house, but I didn't see her, either.

I made sure through the whole week to wear my jacket everywhere, no matter how hot it got. Fortunately, summer was winding down, so I'd be able to keep up the ruse through the school year – or, at least until I got out of this universe. I didn't even show the marks on my wrists to those who I lived with; I wanted to trust them, but I barely managed to convince the officers. And I couldn't risk taking another Sin just to show them I was serious. Especially since Ruth was only six, and it wasn't a stretch of the imagination for her to tell all of her friends. I'd be lucky to go outside without someone taking a picture of me, in that case.

Speaking of paparazzi, it didn't get as bad as I'd thought. There were occasionally people who wanted to take pictures of me, but I kept my head down and my nose clean, and they began to get bored pretty fast. They still didn't dare coming near the house, which is why I stayed there much of the week. I eventually realized why they weren't worried about me. Another human was here, as an emissary of Earth, and they were more concerned with him. I knew more about him than technically possible, seeing as how I'd never heard of him while in this universe, so I hoped we'd never have to meet.

I hadn't found Fox, either. I tried to, but I only managed to figure out that one of Colin's friends knew someone who I knew would _eventually_ join Star Wolf. I couldn't exactly tell the person that, so I stopped searching that way.

Fortunately, the nights went by quickly. I would close my eyes, and open them moments later to the sun rising. Before coming into this universe, I hadn't entered a game where sleep was allowed, so I assumed that it was normal to completely skip the entire night.

Before long, the first week was over. Joanne announced every morning and every night how many days we all had left until school started again, much to the chagrin of everyone but me. Apparently the mystery person of the house was starting her senior year of high school, and I would be going to the same school, along with Michael. _I'll try to contain my excitement_, I thought sarcastically when I found out.

* * *

I edited this chapter slightly to make it closer to the original storyline. And before I can upload the next chapter (which is done already), I need to do something with it.

And I edited it AGAIN more recently (3/13/2013), to make the tons of extra characters easier to cope with. Also, I'm going to be taking away that element of self-insertion, so I'll refer to the first-person as the Main Character. There's Colin, the black housecat who's the main character's roommate. There's Ruth, who is just about in love with the main character. The two parents, obviously. And Michael, the raven who we all know is emo, even though nobody said it yet.


	3. Chapter 3: Back to School

**Disclaimer:** Do I really have to do this every time? I own nothing below, besides the first-person. If XxSanitariumxX doesn't claim it, then the StarFox people do. If neither of them do, then it's free reign.

* * *

_First day of school_, I thought as Joanne dropped all three of us off in front of the school. _Because I loved this day the first time_. Joanne gave each of her children a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and even though I tried to worm out of it (again, no pun intended), she included me in the display. I wasn't even a foster child; I was an anomaly, as far as she should've known. But I guess Isaac only told her that I needed a home, and she now considered me one of hers. And even I consider that weird.

The scaly, lizard like girl I hadn't yet met, Katherine, left us to go find her friends from last year without a word, and I turned to Michael.

"Let's do this," I said, trying to sound at least a little cool. He rolled his eyes and trudged into the building without me. "Or not," I finished.

"Hey, Ditto!" someone called. I turned around, surprised to find a friend of Colin's.

"Hey, Eli," I said, high-fiving him. The smallish brown hawk was about my age, but why he hung out with Colin, I didn't know. The feathers on the back of his head were always pointing back, which made it look like he had spiked hair, and his outfit matched his mottled brown feathers pretty well.

"I shoulda known you'd be here," he said.

"Yeah," I agreed. It wasn't exactly a secret that the humans were both going to this school. He'd have to be oblivious to both the news and his own friends to not know.

"So, you nervous?" he asked. I tried to hide a laugh.

"No, no I'm not."

"How come?" he asked when I started toward the school.

"What could go wrong?" I asked. I wasn't about to tell him that this was my second "first day" of high school. Not to mention, all of the other students were looking at me like I was about to bite off their heads.

"Well, a senior could catch you and bully you. Or you could get trash-canned."

"I doubt that," I replied. On my first time doing this, I'd been concerned about those things, but when nothing had gone wrong, I stopped worrying. I was only wondering how to get around the school, so I was approaching a bulletin board near the front of the building, where other students were gathered. I'd assumed that I'd find my schedule on it, and if not, maybe a map.

"I don't know," Eli said, ruffling his feathers uncertainly. "My brother went here, and he said –"

"Your brother deserved everything he got," I told him, recalling everything that he'd told me. "He was an idiot to bully the bullies."

"Hey, it wasn't _that_ bad of a plan. You show the school who's the top dog, and nobody messes with you."

"Except that he wasn't," I countered. I was tempted to comment about his "top dog" statement, but I decided not to when I finally reached the bulletin board. It hadn't been too difficult, what with everyone treating me like I had some kind of disease, but a few of the students were stubborn. "Great, it's all in Cornerian."

"Of course it is," he replied, coming up beside me. While trying to get my translator to bring up its window, he placed his against a curved metal plate near the bottom of the board. After a few seconds of a slight humming sound, he brought it back, and after pushing a few buttons, brought up a holographic map of the school. I saw three separate buildings, each of a different size, but I couldn't read the labels on any of them.

"Oh," I said, before doing what he'd done with my translator. For some reason, it didn't even ask for a name. Even though it was borrowed, I found my name in greenish holographic letters staring at me once I brought up my schedule. He looked over my schedule, too, but he couldn't figure out much from the English symbols. Fortunately, I had the exact classes I'd asked for a week ago when I'd appeared I this universe. They were all simple, and it wouldn't be a problem to get through them. _Except maybe third period Biology_, I thought. _Do they even teach about _human_ biology?_

"Hey, guys, quit it!" I heard from nearby. _I know that voice_, I thought. I turned toward it, and saw a green frog being harassed by a pair of bullies. _Slippy Toad_, I thought, watching the short frog trying to get back a small device, which the other two were tossing back and forth. It was a game of monkey-in-the-middle, which I thought was somewhat ironic, seeing as how one of the bullies was a monkey.

"Come on, cut it out!" Slippy said. He tried to jump up and catch it, but the monkey pushed him back down by the head before tossing the device to his ally, an average-sized white bird. I took a step toward them to help him, but Eli saw where I was headed and stepped in my way.

"That's exactly the kind of stuff we avoid," he told me. I was about to push him aside and continue when a blue-feathered bird showed up.

"So what's going on here?" he asked, cracking his neck. _And there's Falco Lombardi_.

"You," the white bird said, scowling.

"Oops," the monkey said, tossing the communicator to the white bird before high-tailing it out of there. Slippy jumped up and grabbed it out of the air, putting it back on his arm.

"This was getting boring anyway," the bird said, shrugging and walking away. Slippy tried to give Falco a high-five, but he just stared at him with his arms folded.

"I'm always gettin' you out of trouble, aren't I?" he asked. I pushed Eli out of the way and approached him, despite Eli's warnings.

"That was smooth," I said. Falco and Slippy both turned toward me uncertainly.

"And who are you?" Falco asked without uncrossing his arms.

"Impressed," I said, offering a hand for him to shake. He didn't budge. "I'm Ditto," I added before the situation got awkward.

"And what do you want?" he asked, finally letting his arms fall to his sides. I did the same.

"I was going to help Slippy back there," I said.

"Don't worry about it. I've got his back," Falco replied. He finally stopped looking at me like I was the enemy. _It's a start_, I thought.

"I've been wanting to meet someone," I said.

"Really? Who?" Slippy asked. I realized once more just how short he was.

"I was told you could introduce me to a certain...Fox."

"And just why would we do that?" Falco asked, leaning against the side of the building.

"That..." I began. I couldn't think of a reason. "...is a good question."

"What, are you a fan of his dad's? You think you can get an autograph or something?" Falco asked.

"No. I just wanted to meet him, is all."

"Alright," Slippy said, "he'll be here soon. You can wait with us." I could see Falco resist the urge to slap his forehead.

"Thanks," I said, watching Falco. Whenever I'd played the games, which already seemed like so long ago, I'd always played as him when possible. He was hands-down the best in the air, and for some reason, I liked the fact that he was the cockiest one there. He was probably my favorite character on the team, if you didn't count Krystal.

_Krystal_, I thought. She would probably be on her home planet right now (wherever that was), and it would be years before anything bad happened on Sauria to bring her there. Of course, I didn't know much about her or her home planet, but that wasn't as important to me. I knew in the back of my mind that meeting her would be impossible, but I still couldn't help but to want to.

Yeah, I knew that according to most people, including me, she was fox's girl. I mean, it wasn't exactly canonical, but the games I'd played had hinted at it more than once. And I'd heard that in Command, you can have a romantic ending between those two. But I'd never played the game, and even if its events would eventually happen in this universe, it wouldn't be for quite a few years.

My imaginings were interrupted by a slight commotion behind me. I turned around, and saw him. Fox "Relics" McCloud. White hair, pale white skin, and a collar around his neck that he hoped to disguise as a fashion statement. The only other human on the planet, probably in the whole system. And instead of approaching him, I ducked behind the bulletin board.

"What's up?" Falco asked.

"As much as I'm sure he would appreciate seeing another human," I said, gesturing toward him with my head, "I don't really want to break the universe."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Falco asked.

"I _can_ hear you, you know?" the kid asked. _Crap. Super-hearing. I forgot_, I thought, before stepping out from my poor hiding place. _What kind of repercussions will this have on the story? Will I change him? Will I affect everyone else?_

"What're you doing here?" he asked, continuing into the school. I hurried to catch up, assuming he wanted to talk.

"That's a great question."

"I didn't know Earth was sending other humans here," he said. He didn't really seem like the type to talk that much, judging by the way he tried to keep his eyes down.

"Me neither," I said. He couldn't have known what I was talking about, so I tried to make more sense. "I came here on my own. Call me a...freelancer."

"Hmm...let me tell you, it's good to see another human. It's weird walking around with all of these...things."

"I don't know. I don't mind them that much. I mean, it's not like they bite."

"Not you," he scoffed. I knew exactly what he meant, but I figured pursuing the topic would be less suspicious.

"What do you –"

"Ditto!" someone shouted. I stopped and looked toward the commotion. Eli was being shoved into a locker by some kids much bigger than I was, a goat and a bull. I stole a glance down my sleeve at my wrist and the glowing mark there, before approaching the troublemakers.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked. The two bullies stopped what they were doing and turned toward me. Eli thankfully used that opportunity to scramble away.

"You ought to mind your business," one of the two said, stepping toward me threateningly. Now, I'm not the kind of person to start fights. Normally, I'm smart enough to avoid them. But where that fails, I take the coward's way out. By the time the bullies started chasing me, I was already rounding a corner.

The only thing going through my mind other than _Get away, get away, get away_, was a string of obscenities. As I said, I can't fight. And since they started chasing me, they were apparently mad enough to actually hurt me. I heard my inner voice laughing at me for running away from kids who were probably not even my age, but I ignored it. _Okay, Relics left. Fox isn't here yet. Falco could care less about me. Slippy and Eli are wimps. I'm on my own_.

* * *

I edited the story heavily on 3/13/2013, removing many details about dream-points or self-insertion. For now, assume that the first-person is NOT actually me. Just because he may or may not do what I would do in that circumstance, he can grow and change in ways that I wouldn't be able to. Like becoming more athletic, or gaining a morbid fear of spiders.


	4. Chapter 4: Krystal

**Disclaimer (_again_):** I own nothing but the first-person. XxSanitariumxX deserves a plug for inspiring this story. If you think I owe you money, I'm afraid you're mistaken.

I'm gonna upset some people with this update...

* * *

_Son of a bitch_.

I couldn't help the thought. I was exhausted, sore, bruised, and stuffed into the nearest locker myself. _That's the last time I help Eli_, I thought.

They'd caught me without too much trouble. I may have been able to outrun them if they were human, but that wasn't the case. The bull ran faster than I could hope to in a straight line, and the goat could turn corners better than the bikes from Tron. Together, they managed to catch me, hit me a few times for good measure, and stuff me in the nearest open locker. I began to bang my head on the inside of it, just to force myself to understand how stupid I'd been.

_Stupid lockers, don't even open from the inside_.

I heard a bell ring, and realized I'd only have a minute to get to class before being tardy. That meant less people would be walking the halls, and I'd be stuck here all period. To punctuate my frustration, I hit my head harder and harder. _Maybe I'll get enough of a concussion to wake up outside of this universe_. If only it worked that way. Sure, I could use a _Sin_ to get out, but I decided against it for the moment. Besides, after about five minutes of this, I'd probably do it anyway.

"Hello?" someone asked. I snapped my head up abruptly, hitting it on the back of the small locker. _That voice_. "You need any help?"

"Please," I said. I heard a few beeps from the other side, and the door abruptly opened. I tried to get out and stretch slowly, but instead, I sort of just fell out of the locker. I had somehow managed to maintain my footing, and I stretched _after_ making sure I wouldn't fall.

"Are you okay?" the girl asked. She was an awfully cute blue fox, and I knew her name already. But I didn't exactly want to seem like a stalker, so I didn't say it aloud. _Thanks, Krystal_.

"Yeah, now. But I need to get to class."

"Oh, no you don't. You need to see the nurse," she said after seeing what few bruises she could. I'd made sure not to let my left sleeve slide up.

"I'll be fine," I protested. She wouldn't have it.

"Are all boys so stubborn? Come on," she said, latching onto my right wrist. She proceeded to drag me through the hall, but I had the vague feeling she didn't know where she was going. I confirmed it by bringing up the school's map.

I managed to get a better look at it this time, since the labels were in English. This building was apparently the main one, which included most of the classes. The nearest building to this one was called the "B building", and after fiddling with the interactive map, I found that it served as a gym. The third building was a cafeteria called "C building". And I managed to do a search for the nurse's office, right here in the A building. She was taking me in the opposite direction.

"The nurse is that way," I said, pointing in the direction we'd come from. She turned to look at me, and then noticed the map, and before I could object, she took it off of my arm and began to lead me again, this time in the right direction. I heard the second bell ring, and I shook my head slowly.

_How can she be here?_ I wondered. _She's not supposed to meet Fox until much later._

"How did you get here?" I asked. She ignored me. _Oh, right. My translator. Man, I don't think I've messed up any timelines this badly yet_.

"Xocce?" I asked, using the dinosaur language from the first game she'd appeared in. She didn't respond. _So, she really hasn't been to Sauria yet. Ah, well. At least she didn't gawk at the human_.

This time, it was her turn to say something. Once again, I had no idea what she'd said, and I tried to tell her that.

"I have no idea what you're saying."

She turned back to me with a confused expression, then looked at my bare wrist, and finally, back at my translator. She said something else that may have been an apology before handing it back to me.

"So how did you get in that locker?" she asked once I got it attached.

"A couple of bullies. I tried to help a friend of mine, and he ran when they turned on me. I guess they were faster than me."

"You were trying to help a friend?" she asked. _Don't you do it_, a voice shouted at me. _Don't you dare make a move on Krystal. You've got people in at least three different universes that will have your head_.

"Yeah," I said, ignoring the voice. "He managed to get away. Still, I'm not so sure it was worth it."

"Helping your friends is always worth it," she said. I didn't make it evident that I disagreed in this situation. I'd been stuffed in a locker, and for all I knew, so had he. But that brought up another thought.

"How did you open the locker?" I asked. "It couldn't have been yours." _No matter how much this universe hates me, that can't be coincidence_.

"No, it wasn't. You can make the lockers open from the inside. Someone showed me a little while after I got here," she said. _Oh, so they _do_ open from the inside_.

"And how did you get here?" I asked, glad that she'd brought it up. I could vaguely remember the map, and I thought we'd be getting close.

"What do you mean?" she asked. _Crap_.

"I mean...what, were you born here, or did you come on a rocket, or what?"

"Nobody uses rockets for space travel anymore," she said, laughing at me. "You're just a few centuries too late. But no. How I got here...this is going to sound crazy..."

_Try me_.

"Oh, look, we're here," she said. _Dang it! So close!_

"Thanks for the help," I said, waiting for her to leave. I had no plans on actually going into the room.

"I'm not going to leave until I know you're going to be alright," she said. I resisted the urge to think up another string of obscenities.

"If you insist," I said through clenched teeth. Thankfully, she didn't notice. She walked into the room, and I followed after a long sigh. _I wouldn't even want to make a move if it was anyone else. It could've been a pig. But no. She just _had_ to be Krystal_.

* * *

Fortunately, the nurse, who was either a dove or a swan (with my knowledge of animals, I'm lucky I ruled out a pigeon), couldn't do very much to help. She looked at my right arm, and after seeing only a few small bruises, decided against looking at the other. I contained my relief. But Krystal had decided to stay in the room, which made me more than a little uncomfortable.

It's not that I didn't like her. Almost the opposite, actually. There was just something about these anthropomorphic animals that I couldn't place. Maybe that's what they call being a furry, but if that was the case, I was dreading the day I get put into Tamriel. With my luck, I'd drop down straight in the middle of Elsweyr.

"So, how _did_ you get here?" I asked when the nurse went out of the room to do...something. The question had been nagging at the back of my mind since she neglected to answer it.

"Oh...umm...I don't really know."

"What?" I asked.

"I just sort of showed up. One day, I was on my home planet, Cerinia, and the next, I was here."

"H-how long ago?" I asked. _If she says a week..._

"I think it was about a week ago." _SON OF A B_-

"A week?" I asked._ Okay, so her appearance is related to mine_.

"Yeah," she said, staring at me. "I just sort of showed up. I saw some kind of portal, and before I could get away, I fell through." _Okay. So something's seriously messed up. I show up here unaware, which never happens, with my iPod, which never happens, in the storyline of something that isn't a videogame, which never happens, and just my being here majorly affects the universe, which also never happens. Are they all related? What the heck is going on?_

"You're all set," the nurse said, walking back into the room.

"He's alright?" Krystal asked.

"Yep. Just a few bumps and scrapes. He'll be fine, if he stays away from any more lockers." _I plan to_.

"Thank you," I said, standing abruptly and leaving. I hadn't intended to be rude, but I wasn't one for lengthy good-bye's.

"Wait!" Krystal said, coming after me. _Yeah. This universe hates me_. "I never caught your name," she said.

"Oh. Uhh...I'm Ditto." (No, she didn't comment on the odd nickname. Remember, I'm only omitting _my_ name for privacy's sake, meaning I told _her_ my name.)

"I'm Krystal," she said. Of course, I resisted the urge to say "I know".

"Okay, Krystal. Well, it was good meeting you," I said, not-so-subtly trying to get away from her and go to my first class.

"Hold on," she said, standing right in front of me. "I don't really know my schedule yet."

_Oh, for the love of_ – yeah, sure enough, there was no communicator on her arm.

"How'd you get into the school?" I asked.

"Well, a family found me and took me in, and they got me in here."

"And they didn't give you a communicator?"

"Come on, Ditto, a communicator isn't exactly the kind of thing you give to everyone who shows up on your doorstep."

I thought about the mark on my wrist. _It's not like I can _buy_ her another one_, I thought. _But first, let's see if she can just get it on a piece of paper_.

"Let's go find the principal's office," I said. "Maybe they can help you."

"Okay," she said cheerfully before walking alongside me. I opened the map again, partly to see where we'd have to go, and partly to avoid glancing her way.

"Thanks for your help," she said.

"Thanks for getting me out of that locker," I replied, hoping to avoid an awkward situation.

"Well, I couldn't just leave you in there."

"And I couldn't just leave you back there without a schedule."

She didn't respond immediately, and I silently thanked her for that. I kept my map open much longer than necessary, trying to memorize the school's layout. It didn't work very well.

"So," she began a little after we passed the halfway point, "you never told me how _you_ got here."

_Hot damn_. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me," she said, staring at me. I made the mistake of making eye contact, and I turned off the hologram. I knew that less people knowing the truth about me would probably be better. I also knew that she probably wouldn't believe me. But I couldn't look in her eyes and lie to her at the same time. I mean, to be fair, she does become a telepath at some point. She may have known if I'd lied. And whether or not she knew it, she was making puppy-dog eyes. I, unfortunately, didn't have a chance.

"Something like what happened to you," I eventually said, looking forward again. "I was minding my own business," _sleeping_, "and I just showed up in the middle of the road. Police were called, I was arrested, and then I found a foster family to take me in."

"Arrested?" she asked. I tried to ignore the sympathy in her voice. Although, in retrospect, I could have been imagining that.

"Yeah. They thought I was a spy or something."

"Oh..." she said. I almost sighed my relief when she didn't ask when I'd appeared.

"So what about that tattoo on your wrist?" she asked. _Okay, universe. You win this round_.

"You saw that?" I asked.

"Just a glimpse. Can...can I see it again?"

"If you really want to," I said, holding up my arm. She pulled back the sleeve and stared at the mark. It was clear that it wasn't a result of self-mutilation; it was going parallel to my forearm, and it slightly glowed besides. It was also too thick to have been caused by any knife.

"So why'd you get it?" she asked, tracing the line with a clawed finger. "Did it hurt?"

"I got it because I felt like I needed to. And yeah, you have no idea how badly."

"What do you mean 'you needed to'?" she asked. We were getting close to our destination again, but not close enough for me to ignore the question.

"I don't know," I said. "I just wasn't thinking straight. But I don't regret it."

"Is it symbolic?" she asked.

_Yeah, of my lack of foresight_. "Not really. But we're here," I said, nodding toward the doors at the end of the hall.

"Oh. Okay...thanks again for your help," she said, taking a few slow steps toward the doors. Another choice came to mind. I _could've_ just gone on my way. That would've been the _smart_ thing to do. But "that teenager sure made the smart decision" said no one ever.

"It wouldn't hurt to make sure you get everything okay," I told her, standing beside her. She smiled and walked through the door, and I hesitated a moment. _Y'know, technically she doesn't know Fox. And when I leave, the story will go back to normal, like I was never here. So if you think about it, I can't actually hurt anything_.

I shrugged and followed her through the doors. I wouldn't consider cheating to force her to like me. But if, for whatever reason, she wanted to be my friend...it isn't like I could stop her.

* * *

I'm sorry if the increasing profanities are bothering you. Once I get it in my mind that it's okay, I start doing it more and more.

Oh, another thing. I _do_ have an explanation for how Krystal got onto Corneria. And it's somewhat relatable to the original storyline.

EDIT: The first-person is not me, contrary to popular belief, and my own assertions. His personality can change based on his actions, which I'm not a part of. If he went through CoD, he'd be a better marksman, whereas I can probably not even reload a gun properly.


	5. Chapter 5: Getting Accustomed

**Disclaimer:** Okay, if you haven't seen a different disclaimer yet, why would you read the middle first? I'd recommend you read any other part. But I still should give a plug to XxSanitariumxX.

So begins the longest piece I've uploaded to date. Oh, and I wasn't sure about what would end up going out of style hundreds of years in the future, so bear with me when it comes to desks, paper, pens, printers, and tardy passes.

* * *

"What are you two doing here?" someone behind a nearby desk asked. I looked toward the speaker, a female tiger of some sort who I'm pretty sure wasn't the principal. "Need a tardy pass?"

_They still have those?_ I wondered. "Yeah, that'd be great," I said, scratching my head.

"Why were you two late? Makin' out in the halls?" she asked. I felt my face grow hot.

"No, of course not!" I said too fast, before looking away from Krystal. I suddenly remembered why I'm not good at being around people.

"No, some bullies threw him in a locker."

"Oh, and I'm sure _you_ had nothing to do with it?" the woman said, pointing a finger at Krystal.

"No. I was just late because I don't have my schedule."

"Mmm-hmm," she said, glancing at Krystal's bare arm. "Well, c'mere, both of you," she finished, turning toward a computer. After pressing a few keys and clicking on some things which I couldn't see, she asked, "Name?"

I looked uncertainly at Krystal. After a few moments, she turned back to the tiger and said, "Krystal."

"Last name?" she asked. I looked over at Krystal. I knew that the others in the games had last names, but I didn't even know if she did. "Oh, wait, here you are," the tiger said before Krystal could answer. After a few clicks, a printer nearby started working silently. _So at least printers and paper aren't an ancient technology_. "And you?" she asked, looking toward me.

"Ditto."

She nodded and clicked a few more things. Another, smaller sheet of paper was printed, and she passed the sheets to us. She pointed at me, "You need to fill that out first. There are pens over there."

"Thanks," I said, looking for one of the pens. Krystal decided to follow me, looking at the slip of paper she'd been handed.

"I still don't know where any of these are," she said.

"There are signs all over the place," I said as I started filling out the slip of paper. She must have typed in much of my information, because the only thing I was left to write was why I was tardy. "The school's supposed to be navigable without a map."

"Oh. Well...think you could help?" she asked, standing next to me.

I knew I'd regret saying it. But I also knew I couldn't _not_ say it. "Yeah."

The tiger gave a heavily exaggerated sigh. Krystal smiled again and stood next to the door.

_Maybe I shouldn't have written this note in English_, I thought, before an image of the troll face appeared in my mind. I snatched the paper off of the desk and tossed the pen back where I'd found it. _Too late to change it now_, I thought with a smile.

* * *

Thankfully, Krystal and I didn't share first period. That way when I showed up fifteen minutes late, nobody accused me of making out with her. Again. But in fact, we only shared two classes, if lunch wasn't counted. I could hope that she would have other friends to sit next to in those classes, if only to keep me from actually falling for a character that was technically fictional. But I did have Eli in that first class, and I had to resist the urge to tell him just how much he'd ticked me off by leaving me to get his spot in a locker.

In that first period, most of the other students were staring at me and whispering, like I was an alien. Ignoring that true fact, I tried to act like I belonged, which really didn't work. They must not have missed my bruised face, but they managed to ignore it. And once the others saw me actually talking to Eli, they decided that I wasn't dangerous, and a few actually tried to talk to me. Of course, the middle of class was a bad time to try that, so they only managed to get themselves in trouble. Since it was the first day, the teacher decided to make each of us stand up and say something about ourselves.

My mind flashed through every meme and cinematic reference I could when she chose me, but instead of saying something like "I _am_ your father!" I just went with "I'm Ditto, and I'm human." That statement didn't please the canine teacher.

"Please say something _else_ about yourself," she said.

"Okay," I agreed. I could see someone recording me. "I'm Ditto, and...I like to write."

"Oh, an aspiring author?" she asked.

"No, you haven't heard of anything I've written," I said before she could ask. And before she could respond to _that_ statement, I sat back down. It didn't stop the other students.

"Where's your tail?"

"How do you hear anything with those ears?!"

"Do you eat other humans?"

"Can you really read minds?"

"Class, class, settle down," the teacher said, standing up. "One at a time."

_Great_, I thought. _That way, I can't ignore any of them_.

The next ten minutes or so were made up of me squelching rumors about humans. I could tell by the questions that the students' minds were affected by propaganda, some more than others, so even when they asked if I was a cannibal, I calmly told them the truth. Without any sarcasm, no matter how badly I wanted to use it.

Eventually, the teacher managed to continue with introductions. It couldn't have come too soon for me; I was starting to wish I was still inside that locker, where I could bang my head against the flimsy metal that absorbed the shock. The wall to my right was too solid, and the desk made too much noise. So instead, I just rested my head against the desk and thought about the universe as a whole.

I still had no clue how to get out. And I really didn't want to wait for the three-or-so months it would take to catch up to the story I was in. But maybe it actually was related to Krystal showing up. I'd like to have said it was only my own desires, but this was the fourth journey, and each one had been perfectly canonical, up until my appearance. It made no sense for it to deviate now.

"Hey, Ditto," Eli said. "Teacher says we can talk now."

"Okay," I replied, sitting up straight. Fortunately, most of the class wasn't too concerned about me. Now that introductions were done, the teacher, whose name plate I couldn't read from where I'd been sitting, had told the class to socialize for the rest of the period.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened before," he said. "I didn't know what to do, so I ran to get a teacher. When I got back, you were gone."

"It's fine," I said. I'd hurt for the next few days, but it's not like I'd die. Besides, I may not have met Krystal had it not been for his failure in avoiding trouble. "So why were they messing with you anyway?"

"Oh," he said, looking down and away from me. "I may have done exactly what you told me not to."

I slapped my forehead. "What did you do?"

"Not much. I just bumped into one of them. Of course, he pushed me away, and I pushed him right back. I ain't no punk."

"Eli, you were stuffed into a locker. I think that means you are, in fact, a punk."

"Yeah, well, looks like they got you, too. So who's the punk now?"

"You," I said with a laugh. "You're the one who challenged them."

"But they never actually got me into the locker."

"Thanks to _me_. You remember, when you shouted for help?"

Eli just stared at me without responding. I shook my head and, seeing someone else using their communicator, pulled out my iPod. I had a few funny videos on it, and even though it was considered an ancient artifact, I'd managed to find a charger for it without too much trouble. Apparently that connector hadn't quite gone out of style.

"What is _that_?" Eli asked. I tried to ignore him, but it wasn't very effective. "Dude, how old is that thing?"

"Very," I told him. Of course, it was another half-truth; it was at least a few years old, so I actually did consider it old. Not quite as old as _he_ thought I meant, but I hadn't actually lied. I didn't stop to wonder whether telling so many half-truths would be a good idea.

"And it still works?"

My shoulders fell and I sat up straight – my normal reaction to stupidity – and I stared at him for a few moments.

"What?" he asked.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"Oh," he said after some hesitation. I heard someone nearby snicker.

"No, really, though, what _did_ you think I was doing?"

"Alright, okay, I get it," he said. But that snicker had become a quiet laugh, and more were starting to appear. I glanced around at the people who were laughing, trying to come up with something to keep them laughing, but my mind drew a blank.

The rest of that period passed pretty quickly. Since none of them had seen the old videos on my iPod, I showed the people in the surrounding desks a few of the shorter videos, but they didn't understand what was going on in many of them. I tried to explain that the videos were just collections of random short jokes, but apparently they weren't that interesting. Still, ASDF Movies always made me laugh, and that day wasn't an exception.

Eventually, the bell rang. I wasn't the first out the door, but seeing as how I didn't even have any sort of backpack or notebooks, I was close.

"Hey, wait," Eli called after me. "Where are you going next?"

"Oh, I don't know," I said, bringing up my schedule. "Something about ballistics or weaponry or something. I just took it because it sounded cool."

"Lucky you," he said, looking over my shoulder at the text he couldn't even read. "I hear Ms. Kensington's the easiest teacher here."

"Dude!" I said, turning toward him. "I really hope you're talking about her tests."

"Oh, so _that's_ what you call them," he said, looking down in mock contemplation.

"That's gross, man. She's a teacher."

"Hey, any port in a storm," he said, shrugging.

"You would," I said, shaking my head. I immediately set out for that class, which sent him the wrong impression.

"So why are you hurrying to her class then?" he asked.

"That doesn't sound like the kind of class to be late to," I explained. I really didn't want to draw attention to myself if he was telling the truth, but I didn't think he'd believed me. _With any luck, he'll get stuffed into another locker_, I thought.

I managed to reach the class without much of a problem. I didn't see anyone I knew on the way, so I made pretty good time getting there. Once I arrived, the teacher, a white swan, stood up and approached me nervously.

"Umm...hello...you're the human exchange student, right?" she asked.

"Nope," I responded. She was apparently confused, so I just walked right to the seat I'd already chosen in my mind: the one right _next_ to the seat in the rear corner. I wondered if knowing the future would count as cheating, but since no more marks appeared on my arm, I assumed it wasn't wrong to know four of the students that would be going to this class.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Ditto," I said, leaning back. She wrote something on a notepad and sat down again.

"If I may ask...what are you?"

I decided to make it easy for her to understand. "Human, obviously. I'm just not the exchange student."

"Oh..." she said, looking back down at...whatever she'd been doing. _Now just to wait for Falco, Slippy, and..._I sighed. _Bill_. Well, I was waiting for Relics, too, but that's why I'd taken this specific seat. That way, I could force him to take the one in the corner, and then introduce him to Fox's friends. Maybe I could actually speed up the story _without_ breaking anything. It hadn't really worked in Ocarina of Time, but how was I supposed to know that he _had_ to heal the Deku Tree first?

"Stupid Ghoma," I said under my breath. Thankfully nobody heard.

Then I heard Falco's voice out in the hall. He was talking to someone, apparently bragging about something, and then he walked through the door. He was followed closely by a bulldog (or maybe a pit-bull, still not very good with the whole breed thing), and Slippy was the last of the trio. I nodded toward him, and he stopped mid-sentence when he noticed me.

"So how'd a freshman get this class?" he asked before sitting nearby.

"I guess I'm a special case," I replied. "So, you meet up with Fox yet?"

"No," Slippy answered for him. _At least I can always rely on Slippy_. "Fox hasn't shown up yet."

"Late nights with Miyu," Bill, the dog, said while elbowing Falco. Falco nodded knowingly. _So, looks like Fox isn't all that concerned with Krystal right now_, I thought. And then I realized what I'd just thought. _What? No, no, no! She's a fox for crying out loud! I doubt if she would want to date a human_.

"So what happened to you?" Falco asked. "You look like you lost a fight with an ugly stick."

"You're not much better. A couple of goons shoved me in a locker. Nothin' special."

"Goons?" Bill asked. Apparently my word choice amused him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means a couple of meatheads who just happened to be working together."

"Dang, that's so close to describing Bill here," Falco said, "But he's all alone."

"Your mom's all alone," Bill retorted. I couldn't help a groan. _Please tell me he's not one of _those_ people_.

"Wow," I said after recovering from the terrible insult, "nice comeback. Maybe next time you can use one that you didn't find in a bathroom stall?"

Falco held out his hand for a low-five, which felt like a big step for me. I slapped his hand without looking at him; if you aren't looking while doing something, it's always at least twice as cool. Although, that's a _bad_ idea for certain things. _Driving, shooting, fighting, running, texting, most sports_, I thought.

"Y'know what I found in a bathroom stall once?" he asked, looking at me. I knew he had set me up for another "your mom" joke, but I managed to reverse it.

"Your mom's phone number?" I asked. I heard an exaggerated "Dayum!" from across the room, and I felt at least a little more accomplished.

"Dammit," he said, turning forward again.

"Hey," I said, tapping his shoulder. I figured being his enemy wouldn't be a good idea. "I'm Ditto."

"William, but everyone calls me Bill," he replied. I once again resisted the urge to tell him that I already knew.

"Who is _that_?" a girl nearby asked. I looked up and saw Relics entering the room.

"Hello..." the teacher asked, nervous again. "...are _you_ the human foreign exchange student?"

I could see the look on his face that read "of course, idiot," so before she could ask his name, I called him.

"Relics!" I shouted, pointing with a thumb at the seat in the corner. He noticed me and hesitated, but when the teacher told him that there were no assigned seats, he reluctantly took a seat where I'd pointed.

"When did I tell you my nickname?" he asked.

"It's not hard to know," I said. "I mean, you've pretty much been all over the news."

"Hey, Ditto, who is that?" Bill asked.

"Oh, right," I said. "Bill, Falco, Slippy, this is Fox McCloud, A.K.A. Relics. He's nervous about being on Corneria, so just don't bite."

Relics looked at me like I'd said that he likes performing ballet.

"Hey, it's true, isn't it?" I asked. "I mean, I can tell that the Cornerians don't like either of us, so I assumed the feeling was mutual."

"Mmm..." he hummed, glancing warily at the three animals.

"You're going to want to get in good with these guys," I said.

"I doubt that."

"Just trust me on this one," I said, chuckling.

"So, Relics," Bill started, "How do you like it here so far?"

"It's pretty cool here. A lot of new and...interesting things," he replied. _Just like he was supposed to_, I thought. I didn't pump my fist, but I let my personal "disasters averted" counter tick up to one. Although, considering everything that had happened with Falco, Krystal, and I, and that everything was still going according to plan, I gave myself a few for good measure. It was now at five.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, I don't know exactly why I made this one so long. But the next chapter is in production, and even though I doubt if I can keep current pace with 2 uploads daily, I think I can get one a day, at least for now. I'm telling you, I've never written ten thousand words in two days before.

EDIT: Quality over quantity...quality over quantity...

Anyway, I would like to say AGAIN that the first-person isn't me. And I still haven't seen Waldo.


	6. Chapter 6: The Truth

**Disclaimer:** Once again, I don't own anything here aside from the first-person. If you think I do, then thank you for flattering me, but you're still wrong.

XxSanitariumxX. Check out his stories, or Miyu _will find you_.

* * *

Once the bell rang, I hurried out of the class so that I didn't have to have any alone time with Ms. Kensington. Immediately after I got into the hall, I opened up my schedule to see where to go next. First period had been Algebra, or something that translated into that word. Second period was called "arms and trajectory", so I figured it was like Physics, but with more experimentation and dangerous weapons.

Third period was Biology. _Go figure, one of the two classes I share with Krystal_. Next was P.E., and after that was the other class with Krystal. I'd managed to get out of the required writing class, since I would've had to learn Cornerian, so instead I opted to get a class with computer use. It was just the basics of software, so with my translator, I figured I'd have no problem. Why Krystal was in the class, I don't know.

And then there was the dreaded sixth period. I was surprised that it wasn't written down as something along the lines of "your doom" or "hell". Instead, they tried to disguise it, so fewer people would know the truth behind the sadistic class. "Combat Effectiveness Evaluation" is what the class was officially called. Despite the warnings I'd told myself again and again, I decided that if I got any classes with Relics, it would be that one.

But before any of that, it was lunch time. I didn't know why they would change the schedule depending on the day of the week, but on Mondays, lunch came between second and third period. Of course, I was hoping to see Krystal there, and I had little doubt I would; she probably didn't have _too_ many friends yet. But I'd have to make sure Relics met Lana first. My first priority was keeping the world the same as it had been before I'd entered it.

"Hey, where you goin'?" Falco called after me when I headed in the wrong direction.

"I've got someone to meet," I answered. I vaguely remembered Krystal's schedule, and I was actually hoping to meet up with her before going to lunch. Besides, if I wasn't there, I couldn't affect what happened in the lunch room.

"It's the first day of school! You got a girlfriend already?"

"She's not my girlfriend," I replied, but that was the wrong answer.

"Oh, so it _is_ a girl!" Bill said. _Great_, I thought, _more rumors_.

"I'll catch up with you," I said before starting to jog. I managed to get through the hallways easier than I'd thought, considering the rest of the students were going in the opposite direction. But time wasn't a major concern; it isn't like I could really be late for lunch.

"Hey, you're going the wrong way," someone told me. I tried to be nice, so I just nodded and waved without slowing down.

"Where's he going?" a rabbit asked her friend.

"Do you think he's ditching?" the feline friend replied.

"Who would skip lunch?" the rabbit asked.

"Do they let us get fast food?" a lizard nearby asked as I got too far away to hear the rabbit's conversation.

"No. He can't leave, so I don't know what he's doing," another boy said.

_Too many animals_, I thought. _I can't even tell what some of them are supposed to be_.

"I can tell what _that_ is," I said with a smile when I spotted Krystal, who was making her way to the lunch area. I tried to make my way to her, and I noticed that she was talking to someone. _I hope it's not a guy_, I thought, before chastising myself for the thought. But I wasn't so lucky; I saw the feline she was talking to, and I nearly let out a string of obscenities at this fictional universe.

_Miyu_, I thought bitterly. _Fox's girlfriend. Because it couldn't be _anyone_ else_.

"Oh, hi, Ditto," Krystal said when I approached her.

"Hey, Krystal."

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Just making sure you got through your day alright," I replied. "Looks like you're doing fine."

"Of course I am. I'm not helpless," she said.

"I know. You had to rescue me, remember?"

"I wouldn't call it a _rescue_. Anyway, Ditto, this is Miyu," she said, introducing me officially.

"Hey," I said, giving a slight wave. She squinted at me like I was prey, and I lowered my hand slowly.

"So, what's up, Krystal?" I asked. I'd hoped to make Miyu stop silently threatening me.

"Not much. They had us all introduce ourselves in both of my classes."

"We had to do the same thing. It'd sure be funny if they made us do it all day."

"Not likely," Miyu said. "Just you wait for sixth period."

"True. That and P.E."

"What happens sixth period?" Krystal asked. I realized I'd let it slip that I knew, but if Miyu pursued the topic, I could just say that Bill told me or something. Miyu just laughed and kept walking instead of answering Krystal's question.

"Wait, let me see your schedule again," I said. _She can't have the same sixth period_. I looked down for a second to ready my text translator, and when I looked up, she was holding it toward me.

_Don't really want to know where she stored this_, I thought when I took it. Like me, she didn't really have anything to store it in. I didn't think it would be a good idea to look closely, but I didn't recall seeing pockets on her clothing. And the paper was warm.

I shook my head to refocus my thoughts and looked at the paper. After turning on the translator, I could actually read it. Sure enough, she had the same class, but not in the same room. From what I could gather, most, if not all, of the school had that class for the sixth period. I chuckled and thought of poor Slippy running around with a mock rifle.

I handed Krystal the paper again, and she raised an eyebrow at me. "Well?"

"I think everyone in the school has that class," I said, making sure to fiddle with my translator for a bit so I didn't catch where she stowed the paper.

"What class is it?" she asked. I realized I hadn't even told her yet.

"I think they test your combat effectiveness, or some junk like that. Just don't show up late, whatever you do," I said as we exited the building. I could already see the C building.

"How would you know?" Miyu asked. I was glad I'd prepared an alibi.

"Bill told me a little about the class," I said. Once again, I realized I'd made a mistake in assuming she knew him, but she thankfully didn't ask about it. _If everyone's so oblivious, I might make it out with only one _Sin. Suddenly, my jacket's hood was bulled back hard. I was forced to stop walking and lean back, and I felt Krystal's breath on my ear.

"Why did you lie to her?" she whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear.

_She _is_ telepathic already_, I thought. _Crap_.

"Yeah," she said, letting me stand again. Miyu had continued into the lunchroom, which we'd almost reached. "But your mind is really hard to read."

"Probably a good thing," I said with a nervous chuckle. "But then how did you know I was lying?"

"You're a _really_ bad liar," she said, leaning on one leg. Her tail swept back and forth once, distracting me from her otherwise serious demeanor. "So, start talking."

I wasn't exactly sure that telling her the truth would be a good idea. But since I _did_ have four more _Sins_, I didn't think anything could really go too badly.

"You won't call me crazy, right?" I asked.

"Oh, please, you randomly teleported to this planet just like I did. I think if there's anyone whose story I'd believe, it's yours. And maybe you can answer some of _my_ questions."

"You want to go home?" I asked, somewhat dejected.

"Don't change the subject. Start talking."

"Okay," I began, before I completely spilled my guts, so to speak. I hadn't meant to tell her the whole truth, and I especially hadn't meant to tell her _everything_, but I blame her eyes. And teenager hormones, which I had been just about done with before making myself younger. Thankfully, I managed to not say anything about how I felt about her by threatening bodily harm to myself. Her expressions went from serious, to confused, to contemplative.

"...I hadn't wanted to lie, but you can guess why I couldn't tell the truth. I just want to get out without changing too much," I finished about a minute later. I took a deep breath, partially glad to get it all off my chest, but at the same time, worried about her response.

After a short while, she let out a chuckle. I couldn't tell whether this was a good thing. Then her chuckle grew into a laugh, and before long, she had to lean against the wall. _Great_, I thought, _there goes my best chance of anyone believing me_.

"How long did it take you to come up with all of that?" she asked, covering her mouth with a hand.

"About as long as it took to happen," I said soberly.

"But you think that this world doesn't exist? The planet you're standing on right now, Corneria, doesn't exist?"

"Maybe it does. But it's not like it matters. Once I'm gone, everything changes," I said, turning toward the cafeteria.

"Wait," she said, grabbing my shoulder. I stopped and reluctantly looked at her. "You...you aren't kidding, are you?"

"You're the telepath, you tell me."

She didn't respond right away, but she did stare at me for a few seconds silently. I was still hoping she would come to believe me, so I was willing to wait for the next period if I had to.

"No..." she said, looking away. "You believe it, but it can't be true."

I didn't blame her, to be honest. After all, in her shoes...well, knowing me, I'd be crazy enough to believe the person, but I didn't think most people would. Especially since my only proof was a glowing mark that she thought was a tattoo, and an eerie knowledge of future events. _That's it!_

"You want proof?" I asked.

"How can you prove it?" she asked skeptically.

"Watch," I said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her toward the cafeteria. Once we got there, I opened the door a crack, to look in. Sure enough, there was Relics, standing in line to pay for his food. Bill was right in front of him, so I knew I hadn't been too late, but I was cutting it close.

"Quick, look," I said. I opened the door wider so she could see. "See the human?" I asked as Bill became angry at the dysfunctional robot. "He's going to punch the robot three times, and then it'll start working."

"How does that make sense?" she asked. "Just hitting something can't fix it."

"Just watch," I said. Sure enough, Relics bent down to examine it for a moment, and then three loud bangs rang out through the lunchroom. Not ten seconds later, he had paid for his food, and was waiting for Bill to do the same. I let a smug look come across my face, and then looked at Krystal. But she had left. I turned around to look for her, and saw her slowly walking away, holding her head in her hands.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" I asked, catching up with her.

"You were telling the truth," she said soberly. "So...Corneria...this school...me...everything is...fake?" She turned toward me. "Everything I know...is a lie?"

I watched a tear paint a track down her cheek, and I couldn't help but to turn away.

"I don't know," I admitted, sitting on a nearby bench. "Everything was different this time."

"I don't want to just disappear, Ditto," she said with a cracking voice.

"You won't," I said determinedly. She gave a nervous chuckle, sitting next to me.

"That's impossible," she said, wiping an eye. For all I knew, she was right. But I'd tried to put myself in her shoes, and I'd have said just about anything to cheer her up. "You said so yourself."

"Maybe I was wrong," I suggested. "I don't know everything."

"You said this wasn't your first time."

"But this _was_ the first time for plenty of things."

"Ditto...stop. Stop trying to deny the truth, okay? Admit it; as soon as you do whatever it is you're supposed to do, I won't matter anymore."

"Then I won't do it," I said. _Another hasty decision_.

"What? Ditto, no," she said, shaking her head.

"Look, I told you already, this story goes on for a few months. Nothing's wrong with me taking my time."

She stared at me with watery eyes for about half of a minute. And I stared right back. I knew it was a heavy revelation, but it's not like I'd ever heard it told to me before. But at least she was smart enough to understand it. If I'd had to tell Bill, I'm not sure how well it'd go. After the pause, she looked down, and I could tell she was deep in thought again.

"Everyone...my parents..."

"Hey," I said, reaching to wipe her eyes. I didn't think that the gesture could cause too much trouble.

The instant I touched her fur, I heard, "_...he going to say now?_"

I pulled my hand back immediately, and my eyes widened. _Did I just hear her thoughts?_ I apparently noticed too, but it must not have been entirely new to her. She smiled and put her hand on mine.

"_It's neat, isn't it?_" I heard. It was as clear as if she'd spoken right into my ear, but her lips didn't move at all. _What is this?_ I thought.

"_Telepathy, duh,_" she replied. My eyes widened once more.

"_You can hear my thoughts?_" I thought/asked. She smiled and lifted her hand off of mine.

"Sometimes," she said. _Okay, so she's really telepathic. But if it's mostly by contact..._

"How come I haven't found out yet?" I asked. "I mean, that's not the first time we've touched."

"You only touched my clothes," she pointed out. After thinking for a moment, I nodded. It made sense, at least to my mind. "Now, let's go," she said, standing. "I don't need to read your mind to know you're hungry."

"How can you –" I began when my stomach growled. I looked down, and she laughed.

"Come on," she repeated, walking toward the cafeteria again. I rose and followed her without much hesitation. _Okay_, I thought, allowing a sense of optimism to enter my mind, _so she believes you, and she isn't depressed. All things considered, I count that as a success_. I allowed myself another disaster averted point, and entered the C building.

* * *

Okay, well, this is getting more sci-fi and romance-y than I'd originally planned. But as for the logistics of the whole mind-reading thing, she can get a general idea behind someone's thoughts, but she has trouble reading humans' minds. By contact, she and I are able to communicate directly. This could have to do with both of us appearing on the planet at the same time (hint: it does)

EDIT: The first-person isn't me. He just walks, talks, and quacks like me.


	7. Chapter 7: Lunch

**Disclaimer:** The only part of this story I can claim is the first-person, and I don't. You want to copy this story and put it on your page, feel free to. Not like I'll be sore about it.

And XxSanitariumxX has stories that once cured cancer. Maybe not, but you should still check his stories out soon.

* * *

I didn't end up buying food that day; I didn't have any money. Krystal didn't, either. But instead of making the smart choice and asking for free food for the day, I went to the table where Slippy was sitting. After all, he was never full, so through some twisted sense of logic, I figured he'd be willing to share.

"What are you doing?!" Relics shouted. I saw Bill forcing him to a nearby table, where Lana was sitting. And everyone in the cafeteria was watching.

"Making sure you don't make a big mistake," Bill answered. I knew more-or-less what would happen, so I just sat down right across from Slippy without paying attention. Krystal was distracted by the commotion, so she was a few steps behind.

"Let's see," I said under my breath, scouring the frog's plate for any food that looked edible and wasn't covered in spit. I found a corn dog and a hamburger, and since neither one was topped with bugs of any sort, I figured I'd gotten lucky. The burger had all of the ordinary toppings, and I was at least glad that I'd have tasty food while going here. My first high school could have been investigated for the overpriced, tasteless excuses for nutrition they sold to the students.

"Your pick," I said, holding up both food items. I was hoping she'd go for the burger, because even though it was more food, I preferred plain burgers.

"I'll take this," she said, grabbing the corn dog. I nearly dropped it trying to avoid her touch; I wasn't used to her mind-reading abilities yet. Falco, Slippy, and Bill, who had just returned, finally noticed both me and Krystal.

"Why?" I asked. "The burger's bigger. More food."

"That's why you should have it," she said, taking a bite. I glanced at Falco, who had raised an eyebrow at me, and silently wondered whether I'd just been served by chivalry.

"Where'd my food go?" Slippy asked.

"She didn't have any," I explained, tilting my head toward Krystal. I managed to convince myself to take a bite and ignore all of the flavors that I didn't care for.

"Oh," he said, staring at her for a few seconds. "I'm Slippy."

"Krystal," she said, smiling at him.

"Oh, yeah," I said, remembering to introduce her. It was hard to remember that she, in fact, _didn't_ know any of them yet. "That's Falco, and there's Bill," I said, gesturing to each one in turn. "Oh, and I think I already mentioned Relics."

She nodded. I glanced at Relics, who looked like he was about to run out the door and straight back to Earth, if only it was possible. The girls behind Lana were giggling about something.

"So who's your," Falco began, before pointedly clearing his throat, "friend?"

"Her name is Krystal. She just said it, dummy," I said, taking another bite.

"Oh, and how'd you two meet?" he asked. I knew he was only looking for ammunition, but I figured the story would be less embarrassing if I told it myself.

"She got me out of a jam," I said, trying to get away with another half-truth. The only mind-reader at the table knew what I was talking about anyway.

"Mmm-hmm," Falco nodded. "And why were you two so late to lunch?" he asked. I knew telling the truth was out of the question, so I tried to come up with a flat-out lie.

"What do _you_ think?" Krystal said slyly before I could say anything. I could've sworn that I actually heard my brain snap. Falco and Bill looked at each other knowingly, and I felt my face grow hot. I reached down and tried to brush my hand against hers.

"_What are you doing?_" I asked so that only she could hear me.

"_Distracting them. It worked, didn't it?_" she asked. It's true, they had focused on Relics again, for whatever reason. Slippy was still concerned with his food, which was being shoved down his throat without regards to menial things like chewing. I pulled my hand away and focused on my half-eaten burger, and then continued eating. Suddenly, all of the toppings didn't bother me as much anymore.

"You okay?" she asked. Apparently, Falco and Bill weren't interested in what she'd said.

"Those are the kinds of rumors I tried to stop for a reason."

"Why? Let them talk. You and I are the only ones who know the truth."

"Maybe. But what they _think_ they know _can_ hurt us."

"How so?"

"Half of this stinking Cornerian-Human war was based off of a misunderstanding."

"But what's happening to you is no war," she said. My mind flashed forward to all of the people who wanted – or rather, _would_ want Relics dead. The first one who came to mind was Wolf. And I realized that maybe warning Relics would be the right thing to do.

But it was too late, regardless. I watched him bend down to kiss the back of her hand, and I knew that it would be too late to help. Those behind Lana erupted into a chorus of chatter, along with much of the rest of the cafeteria.

"That might not end well," I said, pointing toward Relics. Thankfully, my burger was almost finished.

"What do you mean?" she asked. I tapped my temple twice, and apparently she understood. I put my hand below the table, and before long, she grasped it. I tried to ignore the fact that she could have merely grazed my hand, but I didn't really want to be rude and pull away from the contact.

"_A man named Wolf used to be her boyfriend. And he won't be too happy about _that_._"

"_Shouldn't we warn him?_" she asked.

"_And say what? 'Oh, hey, I know you don't know us that well, but we're from the future, and you're screwed.'_"

"_Well, _we're_ not from the future,_" she said with a giggle."_And actually, you aren't either._"

"_Then how can I know that you're going to want to see this?_" I asked, gesturing toward Relics again. Lana had just given him her information, and he was waving goodbye. As he turned to go, sure enough, Lana reached out and, to the surprise of most of the cafeteria, pinched his butt. I could feel the surprise (and humor) in Krystal's mind, and I took that moment to get my hand back. Relics walked back to the table like he'd been horribly violated, and when he sat down, he was unresponsive for a full minute.

"Did you see that?" Bill asked.

"No, Bill. We didn't. Something happens to capture the attention of the _entire_ cafeteria, and we missed it," I said. I was apparently ignored, though, when he told and retold what'd happened at least two times. I finished by meager meal before he'd finished.

"Relics..." Bill said into Relics' ear once he was done with the third tale. He made sure to draw out his voice, but I knew that it would take a while unless I intervened. So I snapped a couple of times right in front of Relics' face.

"Huh? What?" he asked.

"What do you have to say?" Bill asked, expecting a thank-you. Personally, I think I'd stick a spork in his leg. But I knew he wouldn't try anything to _me_; as far as he knew, I had a girlfriend.

"You're not exactly a hero," I told Bill. Because leave it to me to break the awkward silences for _other_ people.

"Whaddaya mean?" he asked.

"He didn't need your help," Falco said, "and it's not exactly like you actually _helped_."

"Yeah. I mean, what kind of wing-man dips out after saying 'hi'?" I asked.

"The kind who just scored Relics a girlfriend," he said proudly.

"How do you figure?" Falco asked.

"Oh, come on!" Bill nearly shouted. "Relics was shaking in his shoes. There's no way he'd have made a move had it not been for me."

"You remember those words," I said, pointing at him with a smirk. I heard Krystal snicker.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Falco asked. I began to wonder if he'd be putting all of the pieces together any time soon.

"Nothing," I said, leaning back slightly. With any luck, I'd only have a minute or so to go before the bell rang.

"So, what's she like?" Bill asked Relics.

"Well, her name is Lana Tress..."

"Okay, alright, but what's she like?"

"Hey, leave him be, man," I said, steering the conversation away from the direction I knew it'd be going. "If you wanted to know, you wouldn't have left him to fend for himself."

"You be quiet," Bill said, waving me off before turning back to Relics. "Seriously, though, what's she like?"

"She's...cool," he began. I tuned him out when Krystal tapped me on the shoulder.

"So, what _is_ she like?" she asked. I didn't very desperately want to hold her hand again, but talking about the potential future aloud near animals with hearing much better than mine didn't seem like a better idea. So I tapped my temple again. This time though, Slippy saw me. _Great_, I thought, putting my hand down near my waist. _Now both Falco and Slippy are onto me. At least Bill's as ignorant as ever_. I felt something furry, but much softer than her hand, come to rest in mine. I glanced down, and saw the tip of her tail there. And she was doing a much better job at acting natural than I was.

"_Well?_" she asked. I finally realized just how convenient this method of communication would be. That is, unless I wanted to lie, which at this point, I didn't.

"_She is loyal, caring, and sensitive. She's a great friend when Relics needs one, and she's definitely going to give him a run for his money. But she's got a past that's...best left untouched, and she has made – or will make – some really bad decisions._"

"_So, how's the story end for these two?_" Krystal asked as the bell rang. I didn't move, so hopefully it'd be harder to notice that I was holding her tail.

"_That, I don't know,_" I replied. "_I hadn't read to the end of the story before coming here._"

"_What?_" she asked. "_I thought you got out by finishing the story._"

"_I told you, this was a special case._"

She hardly waited five seconds before standing and saying, "Well, let's go. We've got Biology to get to."

_Oh, she is way better than me at acting natural_.

"What's that?" Falco asked. "Is 'Biology' code for something?"

"No, actually it isn't," I said, only upset that I couldn't think of a comeback.

"Sure, it isn't," he replied, following us. He was headed to the B building, while we were going to the A building, but from the cafeteria, they were both in the same general direction.

"Can you slap him?" I asked Krystal. "And while you're at it, see what he knows about me."

"It wouldn't work," she said.

"What?"

"You're the only one whose mind I read better when I'm touching them. Well, it might work the same with Relics, because he's human, too, but I don't know that."

"Go figure," I said under my breath. "But can you at least figure it out?"

"What do you say?" she asked, drawing the words out.

I knew what she wanted me to say, so at the risk of seeming "whipped", I said it. "Please?"

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "He's hardly suspicious at all. I don't know what he's noticed, but I get the feeling he thinks that he is great at reading people."

"You figured all that out already?" I asked. I suddenly had reason to be afraid of something.

"No, not all of it. I was wondering what he'd thought of your little warning about Wolf, so I'd done what I could then. It's not like I can learn everything about someone in just a few minutes."

"But lying to you..." I began.

"Do it, and I'll make sure Miyu finds you," she threatened. _Knowing Miyu, she'd be the last one to see my body_, I thought. I followed Krystal duly, silently making myself promise not to lie to her. A good promise, overall, even if I only made it by some kind of self-preservation instinct.

* * *

Okay, because the next period(s) could very easily become a boring (but very long) conversation between Krystal and I (which is what they were, pretty much), I'll omit them in favor of skipping right to the all-important sixth period. It'll probably be a commentary on Relics' run through the...well, if you're supposed to know, you know already. And as for the dream-points, I think they're gone. I'm fairly certain I'm cutting it awfully close to the rules, but I did the same with Duel of the Unknown, what with the alternate endings. But I'd love to hear what your favorite joke/reference has been so far. A 2-word review doesn't take long, and it makes me feel marginally more accomplished.

EDIT: This story is not technically about me anymore. If you haven't been informed, you can check out the first or last pages. And I seriously doubt that this message will be the first time someone is informed of the change.


	8. Chapter 8: Sixth Period

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the story, the characters, or your limbs. If you want a better story, check out XxSanitariumxX and his stories. Read Exchange Student if you don't know what's going on.

* * *

I still don't recall much about the rest of that day. In third period, the class was once again just introducing ourselves all around the room, so I blocked it out and talked with Krystal pretty much the whole time. And even if the teacher tried to get mad at us for talking during others' conversations, we kept talking using her telepathy.

Fourth period went by pretty quickly, too. I was never excellent at P.E., but I wasn't anywhere near the worst. True, I could do about five pull-ups, and even less push-ups, but I could generally keep up with the others when they ran. My only problem was that the only person who I knew in that class apparently hated me. I watched Michael enter the class and waved, but he ignored me. I was almost disappointed when I didn't see Eli, whose schedule I'd forgotten to ask about. But at least we didn't all have to introduce ourselves in that class, too.

And then came fifth period. Before it was over, I knew that it'd end up being my favorite class. Krystal was in it, of course, but so was Eli. And it was a computer class. Now, I'm not exactly a tech wizard, but I could easily do more-or-less what I wanted without getting caught. I mean, the teacher wasn't going to be nominated for "teacher of the year" anytime soon; after the class went through the first-day-of-school introductions, he pretty much just fell asleep. Even so, Krystal and I had done much of our talking silently, using her unique abilities. The only downside to the class was how far away it was from sixth period. I was almost on the opposite side of the school, so I'd have to jog at least part of the way or risk being late.

"Hey, man, wait!" Eli shouted when I dashed out of the class much faster than necessary.

"Sorry, I've got to get going," I called back. I knew sixth period wouldn't exactly be introductions, so I just made sure I wouldn't show up late.

"Why?" he asked, pulling up his schedule. "What's so special about next period?"

I was too far away by then to tell him without shouting as loud as I could, so I decided to just turn around and keep running. Hopefully Krystal would tell him, because I didn't really want to hear that he'd showed up late.

"Did you hear what happened?" someone asked a friend.

"No, what now?"

"I hear Wolf attacked that human."

"What?"

"Yeah. Someone told me the human beat Wolf bad, too."

"Wait, but aren't there more than one?"

I got out of earshot before the response, so I could only catch a part of it. But it was good to know that everything was still going smoothly. And if that was the case, then Relics would be arriving late to this class. Along with Lana.

After a bit of jogging, during which I reminded myself of my stamina (or, the lack thereof), I came to the class, breathing heavily. The one-minute bell hadn't rung yet, so I took a little time to catch my breath. Besides, I didn't want to be one of the first five in the room; I figured alone time with the drill instructor of a teacher would be even worse than time with Ms. Kensington. But I still entered before the minute bell when I saw Katherine enter the room.

"Hey, Katherine," I said, following her. I still hadn't had any time to learn anything about her, even though I was now sharing a house with her.

"Huh?" she asked, turning toward me. "Oh. It's you."

"Well, yeah," I replied. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she said slowly, like I was already getting on her nerves. I decided to just leave her be. Instead, I took in the enormous room. In front of the door, and right now right next to me, was a shooting range, with the works. To my left, if I was facing downrange, was a very large simulated war zone. Apart from the piles of rubble, foxholes, ruined buildings, and anything else that could be expected in a war-torn neighborhood, there were things like burn scores and (hopefully) fake blood, just to give the whole area an air of decimation. To the far left sat the beginning of a massive obstacle course, which I hoped to never have to run.

Thankfully, I couldn't see the leopard teacher anywhere yet, so when a few familiar faces showed up, I did take the chance to talk with them.

"Hey, Slippy," I said. I wondered how he'd made it before Falco or Bill.

"Hi, Ditto."

"Fox shown up yet?" I asked. I already knew the answer.

"Nope," he replied. Technically, he was showing up right then, but once again, my knowledge of that was technically impossible. "Why are you so worried about Fox?" he asked.

"I don't know. I've just wanted to meet him for a while."

"It's not like him to miss school," Slippy said.

I barely heard him, though. I was staring at the black feline who'd just entered the classroom. I thought I'd recognized her, but I couldn't be sure, so I pointed at her and asked, "Who's that?"

"Huh? Oh, her. I think I heard Falco mention her once. Her name is...Katt, I'm pretty sure."

"She wasn't here the first time," I said under my breath. Slippy turned to Falco, who had just entered the room. And I heard the minute bell ring.

"Hey, Falco," Slippy said. Falco nodded toward him, and then me.

"You know her?" I asked, tilting my head toward Katt.

"No," he said with a smile. "But I'd like to. Why, do you know her?"

"No."

"Don't you already have a girlfriend?" he asked.

"She's not –" I began, but I stopped. Krystal had already hinted to him that we'd been...preoccupied, before lunch, so I didn't want to confuse him or make him suspicious. "Why don't you go talk to her?"

"And what, try to get her number?" he asked.

"No, smart one. Just talk to her."

"What do you mean? Why talk if you don't want something?"

"If that were true, why would you talk to me? Or Slippy?"

"Hey, guys, Relics here yet?" Bill asked as he entered. There had to be twenty kids in the room at the moment. I also noticed that the goal of my day, Fox McCloud, had somehow entered without my noticing. I didn't approach him, though, because he was standing next to Miyu, and she seemed to be getting excited. And then the bell rang.

"No, he isn't," Falco said once it quieted down.

"Where is he?" he asked, looking back toward the door. "Damn it, why'd I go and lose my phone?"

"Because you're an idiot," Falco said, shaking his head. "But he'd better hurry up and get here before –"

"Toe line!" the leopard shouted. I hadn't even noticed him, so I nearly leapt out of my skin. "Get there!"

I hurried into the line alongside the other students. My sarcasm would normally have made me slow or sloppy, but I knew what this Mr. Fritz was capable of. Once everyone stopped moving, he walked slowly down the line, inspecting everyone. I tried to keep a straight face, but I think I'd have been surprised if he'd been less impressed with Slippy.

"Daniel!" the instructor shouted once he reached the end of the line. "Have you seen our _other_ human friend?"

"No, sir!" the German Sheppard shouted. He was acting like someone was threatening his life.

"Has _anyone_ seen him?" the leopard shouted.

"No, sir!" everyone shouted, more-or-less at the same time.

"Great. So he's skipping," the instructor said, walking down the line once again for a head count. "Twenty-five, not including the –" he began, when the door opened. A very embarrassed-looking Lana Tress entered the room.

"Twenty-_six_, not including the humans...Ms. Tress, why are we so late?" he asked.

"Sorry, Captain Fritz. I was...uh...held up," she explained. _Oh, so he's a captain?_ I wondered. _I'll still call him 'Mister' for now_.

"'Held up' by what, I wonder?" he asked just as Relics stumbled through the door. "Is _he_ the reason you're late?" he growled.

"No, sir! It's not like that!" she said. _I almost wish Krystal had acted the same way_, I thought.

"Mmm-hmm..."the leopard nodded slowly. She barely got a word out before he interrupted her. "Stand by."

I watched Relics take in the room, and the shooting range, before he became distracted by the war zone. Mr. Fritz somehow managed to get right next to him before Relics noticed the leopard. And the leopard took the opportunity to make sure it was clear who was in charge. It was the basic "I'm big, you're nothing" speech, followed by a command to end every sentence with "sir". I decided to keep my sarcasm to a zero so I didn't upset the teacher who was twice as big as me.

"Yes, sir," Relics said once the speech was over. He looked much like Daniel had, only Relics seemed a little less scared.

"Good," the leopard said, apparently reveling in his superiority. "My name's Captain Fritz, and welcome to Auxiliary class. Play by the rules, behave yourself, and I might just let you live..._Snowflake_." _Auxiliary class?_ I thought. _I thought it was something about combat evaluation_. "Wait here," he told Relics, before approaching everyone who, like me, had arrived on time. He stopped and looked up and down the line a couple of times before suddenly shouting "Shut the hell up!" despite the fact that nobody had said a word.

"Since today's the first day, I'll take it easy on you," he said, pacing the line a little more calmly. "Today, we'll watch the tardy pair in the Fun Zone. And if we have time, we'll play a little paintball."

I heard Bill mutter a single word under his breath, but I didn't quite catch it. After a few seconds, the leopard walked toward the obstacle course.

"Snowflake! Get over here!" he shouted. Apparently the nickname drew more of a reaction from the rest of the class the second time. _Now, that's just messed up_, I thought. _Although, "messed up" describes most drill instructors, as far as I know_. Bill was nearly shouting about Relics' new nickname, and I decided to give him a swat upside the back of his head. Apparently, that made Relics at least a little bit less frustrated as he walked toward the leopard. The teacher gestured toward Lana, and she approached too, acting much more terrified.

"Alright, which one of you will be first?" he asked. Relics looked to Lana, seeing if she wanted to go first and apparently misjudging the so-called Fun Zone by its name. But she looked on the verge of a mental breakdown, so he looked back to the teacher.

"I'll do it, sir."

The leopard smiled and turned toward the Fun Zone, saying, "Follow me, everybody." Once everyone, including Relics and Lana, were standing in front of the obstacle course, Mr. Fritz turned to Relics. "This," he said, gesturing toward it, "is the Fun Zone. It's probably one of the most painful and difficult experiences you'll ever go through. It's got rope swings, monkey bars, mud pits..."

He took a deep breath, but I didn't think he was out of breath. _Dramatic effect?_ I wondered.

"...along with lasers, trap doors, murder pits, and the Wall of Bruising. Oh, and there's a nice little surprise near the end for you," he said, before flashing a sadistic smile. "Any questions?"

_Yeah_, I thought, _when the hell did I sign the waiver for this class?_

"No?" Mr. Fritz asked. "Good. Only students who are late have to run through the Fun Zone, but any students who want extra credit can do it, too. Since this is your first time, I guess I can turn off the traps."

Relics was apparently fuming, but before he could take three steps toward the gauntlet, the teacher stopped him.

"Oh, and give us a good show," he said, pointing up to a big television. "We'll all be watching you." Relics could already be seen on the screen, so I looked around unsuccessfully for the camera.

"How far do you think he'll get?" someone nearby asked as Relics hesitated.

"He probably won't get past the rope swings. Doesn't look like he's got the upper body strength," Bill said. I gave him another swat to the back of the head.

"What was that for?" he asked, rubbing his head.

"What do you think?" I asked as Relics approached the start line.

"Go when you're ready," Mr. Fritz said, ready to enjoy the show. Relics dropped his backpack, cracked his neck, and took his first steps into the Fun Zone.

* * *

Alright, I figured it's time to stop complaining about the lack of replies and favorites. I mean, I'm _supposed_ to be writing for the fun of it, but I kinda threw that out the window. And since I'm probably going to edit this whole story before I'm done, I guess I'll just leave it be for now. I'm just getting a wake-up call that no matter how good I _think_ I am, I'm still a beginner.

Although, it can't be that bad, right? I mean, I haven't received much criticism, so I'd guess that I'm doing alright. I just have to focus less on tons of words, and more on the _right_ words. And maybe _less_ italics for _emphasis_.

Also, realizing just now new I am to writing, I'm going to be looking for Beta Readers. (It was such a terrible idea to start without any.) So the next update could take a while, but with any luck, I'll be a decent writer by the time I return.

EDIT: The story's not about me anymore. Self-insertion is apparently unimaginative and boring (not to mention arrogant), so the character referred to as the first-person is no longer bound by what I would do. He _is_ still a denizen of our world, though, and would have approximately average knowledge of our society.


	9. Chapter 9: A Date or Two

Disclaimer: I do not own anything below, save the character known as the first-person, and anything he screws up. If it's not owned by StarFox and its holders, then XxSanitariumxX gets the credit. And you should check out his stories if you haven't already.

* * *

I watched Lana finish up her run with nearly as much apprehension as Relics. Not for the same reasons, but seeing her get hit in the face would not make my day. And once she got through the "surprise" at the end of the course, I was glad it was over. And I wasn't just talking about the Fun Zone; this period was the last one of the day, and I'd had about enough of the first day of high school. Once Lana got to the end of the course, she did something that most of the others wouldn't have guessed.

"Relics..." she said, looking right at the camera. _Now, how'd she find it?_ I wondered. "I...I was wondering...If you'd like to –" she began, but the bell rang, drowning out her words. Once she could be heard again, she was saying, "...see you in a bit for your answer, then."

I immediately left the classroom, unconcerned with Lana and Relics' relationship. I didn't really want a part of the drama that was about to unfold. _Well, Relics got his date. On the first day of high school. And I haven't formed any black holes, so_...I let the disasters averted counter jump up one more. I realized that I was probably overreacting with the whole "destroy the universe" idea; even if I made the future Relics meet his current-day self, I doubted whether anything bad would really happen.

Before I could get out of the B building, the translator on my arm started ringing. It startled me, so I held it away from myself for a second, before trying to figure out how to answer the...whatever it was. _I didn't even know this thing could call people_, I thought. I pressed a button, and the ringing stopped, but I wasn't sure what I'd done, since no text appeared on its small screen, and no hologram turned on.

"Hello?" I asked, hoping I didn't look like an idiot.

"Hey, Ditto," Joanne's voice came out. "I just wanted to know how your day went."

"How did you even know school was out?" I asked. I was beginning to wonder whether there was such a thing as caring too much.

"Katherine's been going there for three years, dear," she said. I heard a snicker nearby, and managed to silence it with just a stare.

"It went fine," I said.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm out front, waiting for Katherine and Michael, so if you want a ride home, I can take you."

I thought about the offer for a bit. I mean, I had no real idea where Eli or Krystal lived, and since we we'd only been friends for a day or so, I figured it'd be weird to ask either one if they wanted to hang out for a while. Still, going back home and doing nothing for the next few hours didn't seem interesting. "Can I get back to you in a minute?" I asked.

"Sure. They aren't here yet, so I'll leave in five, okay?"

"Okay," I said, wondering for a moment whether the avian Cornerians could just fly home.

"Okay, I'll see you then. Lo-" she began, but I ended the call a second early, having assumed she'd been finished talking. _"Love you"? She really thinks I'm one of hers now, doesn't she? Next thing I know, she'll be saying Mike's my brother_.

"Okay, now how does this thing make calls?" I asked. "More importantly, why didn't Colin show me?!" My outburst attracted a little attention, including that of Eli, who had just come out of a nearby room.

"Hey, Ditto, what's going on?"

"How does this thing make calls?" I asked, holding up the device. "I thought it was just a translator."

"A translator's just a communicator that's more focused on translating," he said, grabbing the device. Without removing it, he pressed what I thought was a pretty well-hidden button, and a little flap popped open, with a lot of tiny buttons underneath. "Just do that, and enter a number or a name. You can send texts, too, but to open a text on this, you have to use a hologram. It won't be private."

"Or, it wouldn't, if I could read Cornerian," I said.

"Yeah. Oh, yeah, and your girlfriend left a little while before me. You could probably catch up if you wanted."

"She's _not_ my girlfriend," I said, still inspecting the device on my arm. I flipped the flap open and shut a few times, just to memorize how it was done.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "I saw you in fifth period. You two were all over each other."

"That's..." I began. True, we'd done most of our talking in that class silently, since I was getting more used to it. _I can't very well tell him that she's telepathic, can I? At least, not without her permission_. "...nothing but a little contact," I finished.

"Oh, it was more than a little contact," he said. "Dude, she couldn't keep her hands off of you."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said. _I would know, being the one who read her mind_, I added silently.

"Yeah, sure I don't. But look who's waiting by the door for you," he said. I glanced up, and sure enough, there was Krystal. I tried to ignore his comments as we came closer to the door.

"Hi," I said. Eli snickered, but I continued to ignore him.

"Hi," she replied, starting to walk beside me.

"Oh, would you look at the time?" Eli asked. "Looks like I've got to go home and do...stuff."

"Wait, Eli," Krystal called. "I was waiting for you _both_."

_Oh, thank goodness_, I thought. _Awkward situation avoided_.

"All I wanted to see was if either of you wanted –"

"Ditto!" someone shouted from the building I'd just left.

"Is that Relics running toward us?" Eli asked as we both turned toward the voice. I nodded.

"Ditto!" Relics shouted again, drawing close. "I think I messed up."

"And you're coming to me for help?" I asked.

"You're the only human here."

"Okay, alright. What did you do?"

"I think I just asked Lana out on a date," he said, staring wide-eyed at me. Apparently the admission wasn't all that easy.

"What?" I asked, hiding the fact that I knew full well what'd happened. "I thought you hated Cornerians."

He looked around at all of those present, and then back at me. "I do _not_."

"Then why exactly are you freaking out?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Oh, I don't know. You could go out with her. You did ask, after all."

"I did not ask. She asked me, and I said yes –"

"Why say yes, and then regret that you said yes?" Eli asked.

"I didn't _know_ what she'd asked. I said yes because I thought she was asking...look, it doesn't matter. You've got to help me."

"Help you _what_?" I asked with a smirk. "Break her heart?"

"No, no, no! I don't want to hurt her. I just don't know if I can..."

"Look, Relics, just take it easy. Just go on the date, okay?"

"What?!" both he and Eli asked loudly.

"Why not?" I asked. "It's not like she's got the plague."

"But he's...and she's a..." Eli stuttered.

"I don't know," Relics said, looking away.

"I agree with Ditto," Krystal said. "But if it makes you too nervous, Ditto and I will go with you."

This time it was my turn to freak out. "What?!" I asked, spinning toward her. _Is this some weird way of asking me out?_

"Look, it'll be fine," she continued. "It's not like _we're_ going on a date. You can back up Relics, and I can keep Lana calm."

"Do you even know her?" Eli asked. Krystal tilted her head in thought for a moment, then shook her head.

"Why not take Eli?" I asked. The feathers along the top of Eli's head stood up, and he looked at me in surprise.

"I barely know him," Krystal answered. "I'd wanted to ask if we could hang out, anyway."

"A date isn't really 'hanging out'," I said.

"No, no, it's fine," Relics said. I turned toward him as he started to walk away. I glanced at Krystal, who stared knowingly at me before nodding toward him. I sighed in resignation and caught up with him.

"Wait, wait, wait, Relics. Look, if you really want me to, I'll go with you."

"Nah, I...it'd be awkward for everyone..."

"Any more awkward than otherwise?" I asked. He looked like he was considering it, and I glanced back at Krystal. She was already making her way off of the school grounds, apparently headed home. "I'll be right back," I said, jogging to her.

"How'd it go?" she asked when I came up beside her.

"Still figuring that out. And you owe me for this, by the way."

"What? How so?"

"Not now. I need to know where...someone can pick you up. I don't know where you live..."

"Oh," she said. "Did he tell you what time to be ready?"

"No," I replied. "He still hasn't agreed _to_ pick me up."

"Okay, then let's ask," she said, walking toward Relics, who was waiting near a black SUV in front of the school. We'd hardly gotten off of the school's grounds, so he wasn't too far away.

"Hey, Relics," I panted. _I need to get into better shape_, I thought. "Thought about it yet?"

"Well, it's not like I can get out of going..." he said.

"Going?" a fairly large German Sheppard asked. I couldn't quite remember his name; it had been a week since it was even possible to read the story. "Going where?"

"He's got a date," Krystal said.

"A date?" he asked Relics. "With who? That minx you were walkin' with earlier?"

"When did you see –" I began.

"Oh ho, ho, ho, ho, ho," he laughed.

"It's not really all that funny," I said. I was ignored again.

"Be sure to bring her flowers, and ask _before_ you kiss her."

"I'm _not_ going to kiss her!" Relics practically shouted. His face began to gain some color.

"Whatever you say, sir," the German Sheppard said, opening the car's door for Relics. He didn't know why Krystal and I were even there. "What time's she expecting to be picked up?"

"A-actually, she said she was picking me up –"

"Ohh..." he groaned. "This won't do, not at all."

"Yeah," Krystal said, "Don't you know that the _man_ picks up the woman?"

"Does she even know where you live?" the dog asked.

"No..." Relics began.

"Call her," I suggested. This interchange was already becoming boring for me. Besides, I needed to try to figure out if it was too late to get the timeline un-screwed.

"You can call her?" the dog asked.

"Yeah, I have her –" Relics began, pulling out the card she'd given him earlier. The dog shut the car door and took the card right out of Relics' hand before taking him by the arm and beginning to dial her number. I noticed Joanne's car parked nearby, and she was standing next to it. She motioned toward it questioningly, and I shook my head.

"What are you doing?" Krystal asked Jason.

"Relics needs to fix his little mistake," he said before he finished dialing.

"You're sure about this?" Relics asked.

"Absolutely!" the dog said.

"_This _is_ a good idea, right?_" Krystal asked. I hadn't even noticed her hand brushing the back of mine.

"_They need to go on their date, yeah. But I still don't know why you made me come along_."

"_You could've said _–" she began, when Relics' communicator stopped ringing.

"Hello?" came Lana's voice.

"Hello, Lana?" Relics asked.

"Speaking," she replied.

"Ask her; ask her if she's busy," the dog whispered. He looked too much like a child excited about something.

Relics shook his head. "Hey, it's me, Relics. Are you busy at the moment?"

"Oh, Relics!" she said excitedly. "I didn't know it was you."

"_I'm feeling like we're intruding on a private conversation,_" I thought. I glanced down a moment after that, though, and realized that Krystal had broken the contact. But she subtly leaned toward me and made contact once more.

"_What makes you think that?_" she asked.

"_You heard me?_" I asked.

"_Yeah. Telepath. I thought you were used to it by now._"

"_I'm trying to be, but you said that you couldn't read my mind without contact._"

"_I never said that. I said it was harder._"

I glanced suspiciously at her, but she only giggled.

"_You were saying?_" she asked.

"_I said it feels like this is a private conversation. I mean, he's talking on the phone, for crying out loud._"

"Just do it!" the dog shouted, unknowingly interrupting our conversation.

"Relics?" Lana asked. "Who was that?"

"No one," Relics said, scowling at the dog. "Just someone who was dropped on his head a few too many times as a child."

"Oh, I see," Lana giggled. "Well, I'll see you at eight! Bye."

"Ask her –" the dog tried.

"She hung up," Relics interrupted.

"Damn," the dog said, looking down.

I cleared my throat to get their attention. They both looked at me, and I let out an out-of-place "Hi."

"Who are these two?" the dog asked.

"Oh, right. Jason, this is Ditto and..." he began, but he didn't know Krystal yet.

"Krystal," she said.

"Right. Krystal, Ditto, this is Jason, my chauffer."

"It's good to meet you," Krystal said.

"And you," he replied with a nod, before looking over at me. "Didn't know they were sending another human."

"They didn't," Relics said. "Ditto's here on his own expense."

_Yeah, my own expense_, I thought. _That's why I'm broke_.

"Hmm..." Jason said. "I'll buy it. But what do you two want?"

"We wanted to go with Relics and Lana," Krystal said.

"Oh, you're the extra people Relics mentioned. Shoulda known."

"Relics mentioned us?" I asked. Both Relics and Jason nodded. _I guess I was distracted_.

"So, you got formal clothes?" Jason asked.

"It won't be formal," Relics said.

"Oh ho, ho, yes it will," Jason replied. "You're going to do anything you can to make it a night she'll never forget."

"Then why are we going?" I asked. "It'd be more special if it was just those two."

"Why?" Krystal asked, "You want me all to yourself?"

I took in a sharp breath and backed away slowly, getting redder by the second. "No, it's not that...I j-just wanted to...uh...to let them have their...date."

"Oh, no you don't," Relics said. "If I'm not getting out of this, you're not getting out of this."

"But I...uh...don't have any formal clothes. That's it, no formal clothes, so I wouldn't fit in."

"So? We've got all afternoon. I can take you to the store," Jason offered.

"I also have no money," I explained.

"Then Relics'll lend you a suit."

"Well, what if –" I began.

"_Relax,_" Krystal said, brushing against my hand again. Jason took notice, and clearly thought something other than the truth.

"Soon you won't be able to separate those two," he said under his breath.

Krystal continued, "_I'll be there the whole time. Remember, we're not going on a date. We're going to, as you put it, 'make sure the universe doesn't break' or something._"

"_I think it's too late for that._"

"Well, what're we waiting for?" Jason asked. "I can take you home, young lady, and then we'll leave Ditto here with Relics so they can get ready for their dates."

"Okay," Krystal said, moving to the vehicle. Jason opened the door and bowed with a flourish, and she thanked him and got in. I took a step toward toe SUV, but Relics stopped me.

"Hey, just a heads-up; Jason drives like a maniac. Even for a Cornerian."

"So, you're telling me we could die?" I asked sarcastically. He shook his head reassuringly.

"Come on, hurry up! You three have dates to get to!" Jason shouted. Relics let me sit in the back next to Krystal, and took the passenger seat himself. Once I sat down, Krystal turned toward me.

"What did Relics say?" she asked.

"Buckle up."

* * *

Okay, so this IS a new chapter, despite my lack of Beta Readers. Which reminds me; while I'm not sure if I can ask for a Beta reader in the Author's Notes, I'd like to. If you want to help, or you just don't want to see another chapter this bad (if that's your opinion), then feel free to PM me. My only warning is that I'm impatient, so I might put up the chapter before you can review it and get back to me. But that's why there's such a thing as editing.

Also, I edited everything today (3/13/2013), and while I didn't change that much of the earlier chapters, I made a few distinctions. For one thing, the first-person is no longer just me. He can grow and learn things that I can't learn, especially since he's on a school on another planet. He is still of a limited first-person viewpoint, and I can't make him learn anything I know, such as information about Krystal's home planet, which is why he doesn't know anything about it. That also means that he won't know what to expect if Exchange Student finishes while he's in there, or if he jacks up the storyline.

Number 2, I'm giving a lot of credit to XxSanitariumxX. If you haven't read Exchange Student, you definitely should, so that I don't spoil that story for you.


	10. Chapter 10: Going Out

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of the story below but Ditto, whose name I would rather have written as DiTT0. And it's okay; this story will take a _big_ deviation from Exchange Student soon, during which I'll explain how everything was thrown out-of-whack this time.

* * *

I sat on a chair in Relics' room, watching him fret about what to wear to his date. He was going from one outfit to another, which I normally would've thought only girls did. But there he was, laying out tuxedos, along with casual outfits, on his bed, frustrating himself. He'd already lent me one, and I had gone to a nearby restroom to try it on. It fit well, and I admittedly _felt_ more formal in the outfit, with its nicely-creased sleeves and smooth, ironed fabric. _Or, whatever counts as ironing here_, I thought. He'd given me a tie, too, but that just hung limply around my neck. I hated ties, and I wasn't going to tie or tighten it until we were about to meet at least one of the girls.

Relics picked up one outfit, then appeared to consider it for a moment before returning it to the bed and smoothing out any wrinkles.

"Why can't I just be a _normal_ guy?" Relics asked, flopping down on a bare spot on the bed. "They never worry about being well-dressed."

"Hey, I'm already ready to go, okay? You're the one who can't figure this junk out."

"Ready to go?" he asked. "Look at you!"

"No, no, don't look at me. I'm out of here before this becomes a dang slumber party. You can look like a bum if you want to, but I'm going to be looking good."

"Wait," he said, "what do you think I should do?"

"Wear clothing. Something formal would be a good idea."

"Yeah, but what? I mean, I don't want to look formal if she's going casual, and I don't want to be a jerk and dress casually if she goes in a dress."

"Wow," I said under my breath. "She's really got you on edge, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he admitted, sitting on the bed. "Whenever I'm near her, I just –"

"I don't really need to know right now," I said. "I probably know just what you're talking about, but I'd rather keep talking somewhere that isn't your bedroom. You want my advice? Pick a white tux. Your skin is pale as the moon, and a black tux'll probably make that worse. But what do I know?"

"That'd be a lot of white," he said uncertainly.

"Fine, then pick some other color. Forget I said anything."

"That's it?" he asked. "You're not going to help with anything else?"

"Why? You spent half of an hour so far trying to pick an outfit. I think you can do just fine on your own."

"Well, you'd better not make me look bad," he said as I left the room.

_You kidding?_ I thought. _Krystal would kill me if I did that_.

* * *

I opened my eyes and saw Relics enter the living room, and silently cursed to myself. It felt like I'd just closed my eyes. _I miss being able to take naps_.

"So, do I look good?" he asked, fidgeting with his hair, then his suit, then his hair again.

"Dude, calm down. She's not the Queen of England, she's your best friend. On Corneria, that is."

"England?" he asked, glancing at me. "It's been a while since I've heard that name."

"Oh...yeah," I said. "I did some...research about Earth."

"Yeah? Like what?" he asked, going back to fidgeting.

"Weren't you telling me what it felt like when you're near Lana?" I asked, changing the subject.

"You actually want to know?" he asked. I shrugged.

"We've got time to kill."

"Well..." he began, before sighing. "I don't know. There's just something about her, y'know? It's not like in the movies, where the sun comes out and harps start playing. But when I see her..."

"You get nervous?" I suggested.

"No," he said with a chuckle. "Actually, the opposite. I just feel like _myself_ when I'm around her. Like I was before this stupid war."

"I thought it wasn't a full-blown war?" I asked. "Isn't it just a state of high-tension disagreement, or something?"

"I meant before Mar Sara."

The name rang a bell, but when he didn't continue, I didn't press the issue.

"So," he eventually said, "what about you and Krystal?"

"What do you mean 'what about us'?" I asked.

"Oh, come on. I saw her rubbing up against you."

"It's definitely not what you think," I said with a chuckle.

"Oh, yeah? Then what is it?" he asked.

"I'd rather not tell you just yet," I replied.

"Mmm hmm."

"Hey, I've got secrets too, y'know."

"Of course you do," he said. Suddenly, he turned toward the door, and started walking toward it. Before he reached it, someone started knocking, and I remembered Relics' supernatural hearing once again. Once Relics opened the door, Jason entered, carrying a large bouquet of some sort of flowers.

"Sorry it took so long, Mr. McCloud, traffic was a nightmare," he explained hurriedly. He had a new bruise on his face, and he was bleeding from a small cut on his hand.

"Run into any other complications?" Relics asked knowingly. Jason had so far managed not to look directly at either of us.

"No, but I guess – oh, crap!" he shouted, noticing his own bleeding hand. "You got any Band-Aids I can –" he tried again, but he stopped when he caught sight of Relics. "Well, look at you. Not bad, even for a human. N-not that there's anything wrong with humans."

"Relax, Jason. I'm not going to take offense. I'm only human, after all."

"Wouldn't the expression be '_you're_ only human'?" I asked.

"But he's not a human," Relics said. "Not technically. Anyway, how do I look, Jason?"

Jason nodded and began to scrutinize his outfit. "It fits you well. No wrinkles. No stains," he said. Jason sniffed the air near Relics, which made the human tense up, before adding, "You showered. Something wrong?"

"No, not really. I'm just not used to being sniffed like that. We don't really sniff each other where I come from."

"When are we leaving?" I asked. The story was interesting enough the first time.

"We've got some time," Jason replied. "That is, depending on where you're all going."

"I don't really kn–" Relics started.

"You don't know?!" Jason shouted.

"How could I?! I've only been here for two weeks, and I can't even leave the house without being hounded, questioned, or gawked at like some circus freak!" Relics shouted even louder. I shrunk back, not accustomed to seeing shouting matches in any way. Suddenly, my cuffs were much more interesting.

"...Mr. McCloud, I'm sorry. I didn't mean –"

"No, no, it's fine," he said, rubbing his temples. "I really don't know where I can take her. But I guess if you have an –"

"The Winchester," Jason said firmly.

"Oh, even I've heard of that place," I half-lied. "Five-star restaurant, by Earth's standards. Nice place, but expensive and really hard to get into, isn't it?"

"Didn't you already say you didn't have much money?" Relics asked me. I nodded. "Then how are we going to be able to go? I can't pay for four meals at a five-star restaurant!"

"I think I can help," Jason said. "But Ditto? You owe me one."

"You've got it," I said, leaning back. "And you're still bleeding."

He looked down at his hand and cursed under his breath, before going in search of something to clean or cover the small wound. I looked around for the bouquet of flowers that I was sure he'd entered with. _How do you go about hiding a whole bouquet of flowers?_ I wondered. _The guy's a magician_.

"So, Ditto, are you nervous?" Relics asked.

"A little," I said with a smirk. I leaned forward again, and felt my hands start shaking slightly. _He had to mention it_, I thought. "I know you are."

"Yeah," he chuckled, scratching his head.

"Don't worry about it, alright? Krystal made sure I know that I'm supposed to have your back."

"Thanks, I guess," he said, taking a seat in the same room as me.

"Thank her. She volunteered me for this."

"I might," he said. The room descended into a somewhat awkward silence. I heard Jason looking through the house, and Relics stood up and went to help, apparently realizing that this was his house and Jason probably didn't know where anything would be. I shook my head and chuckled once he left, leaning back and closing my eyes. _That's a big guy to be worried about a cut small enough for a Band-Aid to cover it up_, I thought.

* * *

"Hey, Ditto!" Relics shouted from the doorway, and my eyes snapped open. "Let's go!"

"I fell asleep again, didn't I?" I asked under my breath, sitting up straight.

"Is he still coming, Relics?" Jason asked. _Isn't he supposed to call him Mr. McCloud?_ I wondered, rising.

"I think so," Relics said when he saw me coming. I noticed he was carrying the bouquet for Lana.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," I said groggily. _How can I want to keep sleeping when I didn't even get to sleep?_

"You okay?" Relics said as I passed through the doorway.

"I'm fine."

"Bad dream or something?" he asked.

"I wish," I laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Nothing," I replied as Jason opened the car door. The vehicle was empty, but I had almost expected Krystal to be in there. "Where's Krystal?"

"I guess you didn't hear," Relics said while we got into the car. "Jason took her to Lana's house."

"Why?" I asked.

"You should know; she said she wanted to be there for Lana. Besides, they need to get acquainted."

"That reminds me, this night's supposed to be about you two."

"Who says?"

"Krystal. She made it pretty clear that _we_ weren't going on a date."

Jason snickered from the driver's seat.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Oh, _I'm_ fine. You might be in for a surprise, though," he replied.

"What's that supposed to – oh. She's really formal, isn't she?"

"Sure," Jason said, "_Formal_. That's the word."

Despite my suspicions and my questions, I couldn't get Jason to open up about what he'd been implying for the rest of the ride. He just looked at me in the rear-view mirror and chuckled, before focusing again on his haphazard excuse for driving. I finally gave up and slouched in the seat, content to merely stare out the window.

I eventually started actually paying attention as Jason drove. While my sense of direction wasn't the best in the world, I figured it'd be better to have at least some idea where we went. Relics tried to set the flowers down on the seat at one point, but I put them right back on his own lap, explaining that he wouldn't want to forget.

After a ride that probably seemed much longer than it really was, Jason pulled up in front of Lana's house and parked. I immediately got out and rushed to the front door, knocking twice despite Jason and Relics' protests. I had an idea, and I wanted to see if Krystal agreed. After all, the night was about the others. After knocking, I made sure I was visible in the little peephole.

"Ditto?" Krystal asked, opening the door. I tried to keep my reaction to a minimum.

She was wearing a deep blue dress, which just seemed natural, given her fur color. It was fairly simple, but it just made her seem less like a friend or a warrior, both of which I recognized, and more like...well, like a date. The circlet around her forehead was clearly visible, her hair pushed away from the small gem in its center. No doubt she'd made sure her fur looked nice, and it shined appropriately. While she probably wouldn't steal the show, I was still left speechless for a few seconds.

"Hey, Ditto," she said, snapping right in front of my face a few times.

"Y-yeah?" I asked, shaking myself.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, right. Sorry. I was just trying to see if you wanted to make Lana make an entrance."

"That's all? We already went over that."

"I meant, we both stay more-or-less out of sight until they're done gawking at each other."

"They gawk?" she asked, humored.

"Oh, yeah," I replied, walking back to Relics. Krystal left the door open and walked up the nearby stairs.

"What was that about?" Relics asked.

"Making sure your date goes well," I said, getting behind him. I pushed him toward the door, and he protested the whole way, making Jason chuckle. Once he reached the threshold, I just told him to wait for Lana, and walked back to the car to wait with Jason.

"I wish I'd 've thought of that," he said, watching the nervous teenager. "And I thought you said that fox _wasn't_ your girlfriend."

"What makes you think she is?" I asked.

"I saw how you acted when she answered the door. So...?"

"We're just friends," I said, crossing my arms.

"Just like those two?" he asked, pointing a finger at Relics. I had to lean over, but I did see the edge of a red dress, and I knew Lana had come down the stairs. "I think she sent him straight to the moon," he said with a chuckle. I nodded. Relics wasn't moving a muscle; his fingers weren't even twitching.

"She must look great," I remarked. The silence between the two extended for a longer time than I thought it would, and I started to squirm uncomfortably. Suddenly, I looked at Relics' empty hands once more. "He forgot the flowers again," I said to no one in particular.

"Well, let's go already!" Jason shouted abruptly, making both me and Relics start. "You've got somewhere to be!"

Relics said something to Lana after that, but my ears were probably the least keen on Corneria, so I couldn't possibly have heard. They actually kept talking for a little bit, with Relics clearly chastising himself every few seconds for whatever reason. Eventually, they did come out toward the SUV, with Krystal following them, and a chestnut vixen coming to the doorway once they were all out.

"Bye!" she shouted, waving.

"Bye, Fara," Krystal called back. "And thanks again for the help."

"You have fun," she said, before adding something under her breath. Once again, I missed it though.

"Your ride," I said, trying to sound like a butler or something as I opened the door for the couple. Lana got in, thanking me, and Relics followed, giving me a glare to show that I wasn't amusing.

"You don't actually look bad," Krystal said as she approached the car.

"Well, thanks, I –"

"Except for your bruises," she finished, scooting in beside Relics. I stood up straight and closed the door slowly but firmly, before a hand went to my face. _I forgot about that fight already_, I thought. _Now I really will make them look bad_.

I didn't brood on it for long before I got in the passenger seat, shutting the door quickly. I reached up to put on the seatbelt, and felt Krystal's hand touch mine.

"_It'll be fine,_" she assured me. "_It's not about _us_ looking good_."

_Of course not_, I thought as I finished putting on the seatbelt and Jason took off toward the restaurant.

* * *

That last thought is not supposed to have quotes; Ditto pulled his hand away from hers to put on the seatbelt.

Ditto is not me. I am not Ditto. Krystal doesn't actually exist. And you should read the stories of XxSanitariumxX.

Also, many thanks to Comrade, for reviewing _every single_ chapter. Talk about motivation. And he's come to refer to Ditto as George Bailey. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get "Ditto" to stick.


	11. Chapter 11: Dinner

**Disclaimer:** I am not the owner of what you read below. I'll say that I took characters and plots from XxSanitariumxX and threw a new twist into the mix. I only added a character.

Oh, and I apologize if this is too many words too soon; I couldn't wait to upload this part. But if you think I should've waited, you can neglect reading this part until tomorrow. (I'd recommend you do that, by the way.)

* * *

Chapter 11

I watched the restaurant grow larger through the window as Jason sped toward it. The inside of the car was almost eerily quiet, but there wasn't a question in my mind about why. Jason wasn't concerned with getting us there _safely_, just as long as we got there _now_. I found myself gripping the chair's armrests, and tried to relax as he finally started to slow down.

"Somethin' wrong?" Jason asked when he saw my reaction.

"No, nothing. But do you think you can slow down next time?" I asked nervously.

"What, and show up late? Oh ho, ho, no can do."

"Great," I said under my breath. In that moment, I decided that I would avoid Jason's car like the steely deathtrap it was. He pulled in front of the restaurant and stopped, and I was the first one out. In truth, I was just happy being on solid ground again, but I hid my intentions by opening the door for Krystal before she could. I even reached a slightly trembling hand in to help her out.

"Thank you," she said graciously, ignoring my shaking. Rather than opening the other door, Relics and Lana both followed Krystal, and I almost applauded Relics when he helped Lana out. Sure, both girls were more than capable of handling themselves, even in a fight, but they still let us feel like gentlemen. Maybe because they liked feeling like ladies. I did a double-take when I saw Relics' empty hands, and looked back into the car for the flowers. He'd put them right between the driver's seat and the passenger seat.

"I swear, I always have his back," I mumbled, grabbing the bouquet before closing the door. I held them behind my back and caught up with the others, hoping to somehow keep them a surprise from Lana. With Jason's driving, it wasn't a stretch for me to think she hadn't seen them. Fortunately, Relics managed to avoid the glares of the people around the restaurant, once Krystal broke the ice. _Oh...she's good_, I thought.

"After you," Relics said, opening the door to the restaurant. Krystal and Lana entered, thanking him politely, but as I passed him, I handed him the flowers.

"You owe me," I whispered good-humoredly.

"Oh, shoot! I forgot those. Thanks, man."

"What did you forget, Relics?" Lana asked, turning around.

"Uhh...nothing," he said, hiding the fact that he'd forgotten. "But I did get these for you," he added, offering her the flowers.

"Zoness Lilies!" she exclaimed, very nearly squealing. "These are my favorite. Oh, thank you Relics," she said, giving him a hug. He clearly wasn't expecting that, and I couldn't help but to laugh. I noticed Krystal looking at me, and gave her a thumbs-up. Once the couple separated, Relics and I took in the restaurant.

A high ceiling stood far above the patrons, with the windows in the walls stretching all the way up. On either side of the windows was a long red curtain, carefully adjusted like everything else to give an air of refinement. Even the lighting seemed carefully calculated for the best dinner possible, but I was sure there were a hundred subtle things they did to make the room more comfortable. From the design and colors on the carpet to the white lacy tablecloths, I had to admit it looked great.

And then there was the smell – I know they do that on purpose. It's like they put the smell of their most aromatic foods in a bag and shoot the air at your face when you walk in. Even with my olfactory senses, which were probably among the worst in the building, I smelled enough to make my stomach growl quietly.

"I can't believe I'm going to eat here," Lana said excitedly.

"I'll say," I replied. Everything looked nice, but I felt like just my being there was soiling the air or something.

"Is the place good?" Relics asked. I resisted the urge to scoff and mention that it was a _five-star_ restaurant.

"Good?" Lana asked. "People have to set up reservations a year in advance to eat here. And yet...you can get a table, just like that."

Lana's excitement must have been growing, because her tail began to twitch and move like it had a mind of its own.

"This _is_ a nice place," Krystal remarked.

"Good evening," someone said very suddenly, making everyone but Krystal jump. I glanced at the speaker and saw an ape who made everyone else seem small. _Even "Lee"_, I thought with a chuckle. The ape continued, "My name is Luis Fraser, proprietor of the Winchester and tonight, your humble waiter. May I just say what an honor it is to have you dining with us, Mr. McCloud?"

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Fraser," Relics said, receiving a handshake to rival Thor's. He eventually got his hand back, and he flexed it repeatedly to make sure he could still use it.

"And this must be your date, a Miss Lana Tress. The pleasure is all mine," Fraser said, shaking Lana's hand much more delicately. I noticed he only grabbed her fingers, and I stowed the information for later use.

"I-I don't really know..." Lana said with a nervous smile.

"My, aren't you a charming young lady?" he asked, smiling at her. "And are those Zoness Lily flowers?"

"Indeed, sir," Lana replied quietly, ducking her head. I noticed he still hadn't let go of her fingers, and I was surprised Relics hadn't bristled yet. But looking at the ape again...yeah, I saw exactly why.

"A pretty flower, and a pretty scent, for an even prettier lady," Fraser said, before finally letting go.

"Thank you, Mister Fraser," she said, brightening. I finally saw why the ape had done all that. _Make your guests feel like royalty, and they'll want to come back for more_.

"You're very welcome. And who might this be?" he asked, turning to Krystal.

"Krystal," she said, holding her hand out like Lana had. I really started to hope he wouldn't give such a long introduction with her, too, or this would be a long night.

"So many fine young ladies gracing my establishment," he said, shaking her hand delicately. "I do hope you enjoy your visit."

"Thank you," she replied. Fraser stood upright and turned toward me, the same gracious smile adorning his face. _Oh, boy_, I thought, _bring on the pain_.

"And you are?" he asked. I held out my hand toward him, deciding to squeeze his hand as hard as I could, in hopes of not seeming like a pansy. But once his hand closed around mine, I lost all hope of that. He may have been trying to fuse my fingers together, but I still tried to shake his hand, rather than letting him shake my arm off. All this I did while trying not to look like I was about to get in a fight.

"Ditto," I said, only after I got my hand back.

"Very well. If you'll follow me," he began, when I reached up and tapped him on the shoulder, or as close as I could reach to his shoulder. He stopped and turned toward me again.

"Could Krystal and I have a separate table?" I asked. He smiled knowingly.

"You would like some privacy, I take it?" he asked.

"Not for us, for Relics."

"Of course," he said. "I will return to seat you both. Mr. McCloud, Miss Tress, if you would please follow me."

I watched the three walk away, and Krystal came up beside me.

"How do we help them from a different table?" she asked.

"We don't. I think it'll go fine."

"And what do _we_ do in the meantime?"

"Enjoy our meal," I replied as Relics and Lana were seated beside a fireplace. He talked to them for a few moments, apparently asking for their order, and then stood and approached us once more.

"Right this way," he said, gesturing into the restaurant. I followed him, and Krystal walked beside me. Fraser led us to a much less spectacular seat near the corner, but we were still in sight of Relics and Lana, which was enough for me. Fraser pulled Krystal's chair out for her, so I just sat down, unable to help and unwilling to be helped. _I could've done that_, I thought.

"Can I get you anything to start with?" he asked once we were both seated, handing us menus that he must've grabbed on the way over here. I looked over the menu for a few seconds, looking for drinks, before realizing what I wanted.

"I'd like water," I said.

"Very good, sir. And for you?" he asked Krystal.

"I...um..."

"You can get whatever you want," I said. She gave a look that said I wasn't helping, and looked back at the menu.

"I'll just have water, too."

"Nothing but water?" he asked. _Well, I can't imagine what kind of drinks would be in a five-star restaurant on a foreign planet in the distant future_, I thought. _Probably not root beer_.

"Very well. I will return shortly with your drinks," Fraser said before walking away.

"So, what should _we_ talk about?" Krystal asked. "Because their date is already going well."

"I'm wondering what to eat, personally," I replied, staring at the menu. I quickly realized I'd need my translator, and I turned it on. "Besides, if we talked the whole time, it'd be a date," I finished, glancing up at her.

"And what would be _so_ wrong with that?" she asked with a smile.

"You said it wasn't a date, not me," I chuckled.

"But _you_ were the one who got us our own table," she countered.

"Touché," I said. My eyes locked on a meal I hadn't had in too long, and I set the menu down, certain of what I wanted.

"So...?" she asked.

"Well, why not tell me about yourself?" I asked. I knew almost nothing about her, since she hadn't yet done anything in Sauria.

"What do you want to know?" she asked.

"How about we start with your name?" I asked. _Maybe she actually has a full name_.

"You tell me; you're supposed to know everything," she said.

"If I knew everything, I'd be rich by now."

"Well, we _are_ eating in the Winchester," she said with a sly smile.

"So, your name?" I asked again. She smiled, and picked up her menu to look over it. "Of course," I said, turning to look at Relics again. He was itching under his collar, and I knew exactly why. But then I saw Fraser returning to their table from the other side of the restaurant, and I smirked. "This'll be good," I said under my breath.

Fraser approached the table much too quickly for someone his size and said something to Relics. Lana jumped, and Relics had a sudden coughing fit, before turning angrily to the waiter.

"How did you do that?" he asked. I couldn't hear Fraser's response but I heard Krystal laughing softly, so I turned back toward her. I managed to get a conversation going eventually, and Relics and Lana were soon forgotten.

The date – if it could be called that – went well, despite my own misgivings about it. Fraser gave us our waters, and I ordered my meal – chicken parmesan. I think she ordered a soup, but I was daydreaming about the meal already, so I didn't quite catch it. And we continued to talk. I never did find out her last name, but I did find out she lived on a planet called Cerinia. Apparently her telepathy wasn't uncommon by any means there, and her parents were some sort of royalty, though she made me well aware that they weren't "in charge" of the planet. _A princess?_ I wondered. _Way out of my league_.

She eventually did ask about me, and I answered her questions. I'd had an average upbringing, where my short attention span was considered a good imagination. Eventually, after discovering that I picked up everything I tried really fast, I'd decided to take up writing. I went into the dream-adventures, and that's where she became more interested. After the food arrived, she actually asked me to recount the details of the first journey entirely. I hadn't wanted to take control of the night, but once I forgot that we were there for Relics (whose date was going better than mine), I relaxed and talked openly. I didn't even finish the tale until we were already finished with our meal.

"So, wait, let me get this straight," she said with a laugh, "you were a fairy?"

"Oh, not only that. I was the most infamous fairy in the history of Hyrule," I replied, laughing with her. "It sucked. But I found myself annoying the kid more than Navi ever did. But I helped him through every single fight, so he couldn't really complain."

"Were you a girl?" she asked, laughing harder.

"No, no, no," I said firmly. "Thank goodness, I kept my gender and my voice."

Krystal finished laughing, and then looked back at Relics and Lana. "I'd almost forgotten about _them_," she said.

"Huh?" I asked, turning around. Relics was drinking wine of some kind, and I could tell already that Lana was buzzed. I finally noticed how few other people were in the building.

"Are we the last ones here?" Krystal asked. _Not quite_, I thought.

"No, but looks like everyone else is leaving."

"Indeed," Fraser said, suddenly next to our table. I very nearly fell out of my chair in surprise. "It's near time for us to close."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Krystal said, standing.

"No, no, you're quite alright. I wouldn't ask friends of Mr. McCloud to leave until they're ready."

"Thanks," I said, also standing, "but I think I've got to get her home. Jason's probably waiting for us anyway."

"Very good, sir. Now, if I may..." he began.

"I...uh...don't have any..." I began.

"Oh, no, that's not it," he assured me. "Someone else has agreed to pay for your meal."

I sighed my relief.

Fraser continued, "I was just wondering what you'd thought?"

"It was great," I said.

"Yeah," Krystal agreed with a laugh.

"Everything was to your approval?" he asked.

"Everything was better than I could've hoped," I said. "And you can quote me on that if you really want to."

"Of course," he said, before walking back into the nether regions of the building.

"Think we should get them?" Krystal asked, nodding toward the tipsy couple that was oblivious to the silence in the restaurant.

"Nah," I said with a smile, putting an arm around her shoulder and walking toward the exit. "They'll be fine. Besides, I really ought to get you home."

"I can watch out for myself," she insisted, but she didn't pull away.

Once we got outside, we walked toward the street slowly, knowing how dangerous the drivers could be. It was much darker outside than it had been when we'd entered, but at least some kind of streetlights had come on. Once we got to the sidewalk, I leaned forward and looked as far down the road as I could both ways.

"Jason?!" I shouted. He was nowhere to be found. Not many people were passing on the sidewalk, but a few looked askance at us.

"I don't think it's too far," she said. "We could walk."

"Isn't the city dangerous at night?" I asked. I looked at her and added, "Especially for beautiful women?"

"Oh, stop it," she said with a giggle, "But I think I can keep you out of trouble."

"I guess we'll see," I said, starting down the sidewalk to my right. She wasn't moving, though, and I stopped before taking two steps. "Something wrong?"

"It's that way." She said, pointing the opposite direction.

"Oops," I said. She giggled and started walking that way. "See, this is why you're with me."

"Oh, so I'm 'with you' now?" she asked.

"Not like that," I said without a hint of embarrassment. "See, I would _literally_ be lost without you."

"I don't think so. Couldn't you use those _Sin_ things to get home like _that_?" she asked, snapping her fingers.

"Probably," I admitted. "But nobody is supposed to know about those."

"Just like nobody's supposed to know that you were a fairy once?" she asked.

"I think we should agree to never talk about that again," I said.

"No promises," she laughed.

"So," I began, "you _still_ haven't told me your full name."

"Why's that so important to you?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know," I said. "It's just that nobody where I come from really knows –"

Suddenly, I felt a small stinging on the side of my neck. I let out a small "ow", and reached up to touch that spot.

"Nobody knows what?" she asked, turning around. My fingers grazed something soft, and I pinched it and pulled. I looked at what was in my hands, and saw a small dart with short blue feathers sticking out of the back. I was already feeling groggy.

"Ditto, are you okay?" she asked, but my head was swimming, so I barely heard her words. I fell to my knees, but I knew that no matter how hard I tried, staying awake would be impossible. I looked up through bleary eyes and saw Krystal take a small dart from her own arm.

"I think we...we're being..." I tried, before falling face down on the ground. "...kidnapped..." I finished, before my eyelids became too heavy to hold open.

* * *

Thanks for your patronage, reading it. But this is where I commit an evil deed: this update counts as tomorrow's. I won't upload more until Saturday. After all, I have to make sure I meet expectations, which will be high by then. *troll face*

Also, I'll ask again for Beta Readers. And if anyone wants me to Beta Read. I think that's all. Enjoy the wait.


	12. Chapter 12: Taken

**Disclaimer:** I _am_ your father! No, wait...that's not it. One does not simply - no, no, that isn't right, either.

Check out XxSanitariumxX and his stories. You probably won't regret it. Since my story is based on his, it's fair to say his is better. And more original.

Anyway, I probably revised, edited, and scoured this chapter more than any other I've ever uploaded to this website. I even used the built-in grammar checker. I still had a little difficulty with...well, I'll mention it in the _other_ Author's Note. Anyway, it's only about 2500 words, so it's not all that long. But I liked writing it.

* * *

I guess I should've been thankful that the sleep didn't last long. My eyes fell shut one minute, and not long after that, I felt that I was just waking up. I immediately noticed that I wasn't lying face down, but on my back. And even though I wasn't asleep any more, it almost felt like I was. My throbbing headache and complete exhaustion told me that I was definitely awake, and alive. I didn't open my eyes just yet, though; I wanted to try to give my body time to fight off the drug that had been injected into my neck. I wasn't given much of a chance.

A fist suddenly hit my jaw, snapping my head to the side and making my eyes flash open. My vision was still blurred, but as I looked forward again, I saw a lot of white. There was a dark figure walking around me, probably the guy who'd just hit me, and he was saying something. So, remembering how the protagonist got out of shitty situations in video games I'd played, I tried to take an account of my body.

It wasn't good. I couldn't feel my extremities at all, and from what I could feel, something was holding my hands and feet down. I knew from when I'd been hit that I wasn't lying flat on the ground, but probably near forty-five degrees. And there was a persistent ringing in my ears, but it was slowly quieting down.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the figure said, "you must not even understand me yet." My vision further cleared, and I looked around again. The figure must have been behind be, but I wasn't looking for him. The walls and ceiling were white, or nearly white, and they looked like concrete or something. There was a single really bright light over my head, and off to my left was a big black monitor. Otherwise, the square room was surprisingly bare. The human's head abruptly came into my view as he stuck his head right in front of mine.

"Surprised?" he asked.

"A little," I said with a chuckle, even though I barely understood either of our words. _Always with that sarcasm_.

"I wouldn't be," he replied. "But then, I'm a little more man than you."

"Of course you are," I said. I was trying to flex my fingers, now that I could feel them again, but I couldn't clench my fists with any real strength.

"So, how was your sleep?" he asked, continuing his slow circular walk.

"Not bad," I said. I figured if the creepy guy walking around me wanted to make conversation, I'd be only too happy to oblige.

"Did you dream?" he asked. I looked at him suspiciously; there was something about the way he'd asked it. "Or, do you not dream anymore?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Don't you play dumb with me," he said, sneering at me. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. Playing dumb was, in fact, exactly what I planned to do.

He ignored my question. "You do know I could kill you with my bare hands, correct? Before you could blink."

"Well, be my guest," I said, smirking. Even if he did, I'd just restart the story.

He chuckled, and it wasn't from mirth. "You're confident. Why? Not concerned about dying?"

_Wait a second_, I thought, _could he know?_

"I wonder why not?" he continued. "Maybe you're confident you'll just go back to your own world?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked again. My question earned me another hit. _Guy's got a hell of a hook_, I thought.

"I warned you about playing dumb. You know very well what's going on. You _appeared_ on this planet a week ago, so I think you know damn well what I'm talking about."

"How do you know –?"

"It's my job to know things," he said. "I'm the one called Sharp. Remember that name, because even if you manage to get out of this place, I _will_ be the one to end you."

_Sharp?_ I wondered. _He's with Relics!_

"Hey, it's not what you think. I'm friends with Relics, okay?" I asked. I got another punch, this time to the gut.

"I never told you I work with six-four, did I? How did you know that?"

"I'll bite," I panted. _He might be on our side after all_, I thought, before deciding to tell the truth. "I may be from an alternate universe."

"There we go," he said, apparently pleased. "Now we're getting somewhere."

"Why would you kidnap me?" I asked.

"I have my secrets. And you, yours."

"So why attack me, either way? I'm friends with Relics."

"How could you possibly know that I'm associated with him?" he asked.

"I just do, okay?"

"Indeed..." he said, apparently contemplating something. "Agent six-four, or 'Relics', as you call him, is our main asset. And I don't want some spaceman from another universe messing up our plans."

"What?" I asked. "How could I mess anything up?" I asked.

"It's not you. Not quite. But you ruined everything when you showed up."

"What do you know about that?"

"Oh, I know plenty about it. We're the ones who brought you," he said with a smirk. "Technology is amazing."

Suddenly, the monitor to my left turned on, preventing me from asking a question.

"What?!" Sharp asked angrily.

"She got out," a man said, sounding exhausted. _Krystal?_ I wondered. I really hoped she was okay.

"WHAT?!" Sharp asked again, twice as loud. "Cane, you get her back, or I swear I'll send your head back to Earth."

"I'm on it," Cane said. I took that opportunity to use _Sin_ number two. I felt the power course through my veins, and caused a blast in the room that knocked Sharp against the monitor with more than enough force to break it, along with breaking the door clean off of its hinges. Before the moment ended, I made sure Sharp would be knocked out for a while, and freed myself from the table. I fell to my feet, and then my knees as the second mark burned itself into my left wrist.

_No time, no time,_ I told myself, crawling to Sharp's body. I patted him down and found a bag full of little chips. There was a variety of the chips, with plenty of different sizes and colors, though most of them were disks. _Must be cash_, I thought, before pocketing the bag. I searched again, and found a large metal object, and pulled it out of his jacket. _Yep_, I thought with a smile, _I found a gun_.

It was straightforward in its design; it reminded me of a P-90, but it couldn't have been anything like it. It had a long strap fastened to it, which I promptly slung over my shoulder. After grabbing the gun, I stepped out into the hallway carefully, looking both ways. When I looked left, I saw Krystal, of all people, running toward me barefoot.

"Krystal," I called. She was still wearing her blue dress, like I was still wearing my tux, but hers was more visibly soiled than mine.

"Run!" she shouted, pointing down the hallway to my right. I aimed the gun behind her until she passed me, and then took off after her.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I was hoping you knew," I replied.

"Nope," she said, taking a left. I didn't question her directions. "The guy mentioned you, and some guy named Sharp. Then he said Miranda was watching six-four, but I didn't know what they were talking about."

"There was something about them in the story," I panted. _Way out of shape_. "But they shouldn't even show up until later."

"There!" she shouted, pointing to a sign. Before I could react, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me down the hallway.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Out of here," she replied.

"What's your plan?" I asked. "I mean, we can't just walk home! I have no idea where we are!"

"You're right," she replied as we came out of the hallway into an enormous hangar. Only two hallways led into the room, with one huge exit bay leading out of the building. Inside the hangar was nothing, save a single arwing.

"Flying?" I asked, pulling my arm free of her grasp. She walked over to a nearby wall mount and grabbed a gun that looked nothing like mine.

"Yeah," she said. "Now get in there."

"What? Me?" I asked. A laser hit the wall next to me, making me flinch. Krystal aimed her gun into the hallway and fired twice, but it was clear that she wasn't good with guns. I aimed into the hallway, too, but I didn't see anyone to shoot at. _They probably ducked into the other hallways_, I thought.

"Now!" Krystal shouted, pushing me toward the plane.

"I can't fly," I said, running toward the arwing anyway.

"What do you mean, 'you can't fly'? Didn't you play the games?"

"Y-yeah, but those controls were simpler! Joystick up to go down, that's it!"

"Great time to learn," she said as we arrived at the ship.

"Oh, I'll wing it," I said, climbing up its side. I looked along the base of the cockpit's glass for a release of some kind to open it.

"Just open it," she shouted, aiming uncertainly at the hallway we'd come out of. I found a lever of some kind, and after pulling it, the glass top opened slowly. I stepped in, slung the gun over my back, and sat down, looking uncertainly at all the controls. It's not like it was a space shuttle, but if it was, I'd probably have had a better chance at flying it.

Two control sticks stuck out diagonally from the sides of the cockpit, and I figured those would be for controlling the craft. I counted at least twenty other buttons and switches with Cornerian markings near most of them, but I didn't have much time to figure it out before Krystal popped up on the craft's wing.

"Do you recognize anything?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, these things are apparently used for flying," I said, displaying my lack of knowledge. She looked around at the controls, and then the rest of the cockpit.

"It's only a one-seater," she remarked. A laser passed near her, though, and she flinched. "Scoot over," she said, before stepping down into my lap. I had to push her tail out of my face as she stood to close the top. Once that was done, she sat right in my lap, facing forward, and I had to nearly wrap my arms around her to reach the controls.

"_It's okay_," she silently assured me, "_Just stay calm, and we'll get out of this_."

"Okay," I nodded, trying to remember whatever I'd seen about the games. "Find something called a G-diffuser. It might be a good idea."

"Okay," she said, leaning forward to flip a few switches. Immediately, the air felt different, but I couldn't put a finger on just what had changed.

"Maybe starting it would be a good idea," I remarked, ready to slap myself for overlooking the engines. Krystal pushed a button near the right control stick, and I heard the near-silent engine come to life.

"Oh, right, and shields."

"Already got those," she said. I nodded; that explained why I hadn't felt the effects of the guns that were probably shooting our ship at the moment.

"Okay. Now, let's try this," I said, tilting both joysticks up slowly. The craft rose slightly, and I smiled that I'd figured it out so far by myself. I was glad I was taller than her as I looked past her shoulder out into the sky. I finally noticed that it was still night-time.

"They're closing the doors!" she shouted. Sure enough, two huge doors started to close from the top and bottom of the hangar's exit bay.

"Then let's go," I shouted, pushing both sticks forward. The ship did start moving forward, but slower than I'd hoped. Then, something hit me. "It's still in hover mode," I said.

"Got it," she replied, hitting a button near the left stick. Suddenly, the craft shot out of the hangar, a few seconds before it would've been too narrow to get out. I pushed both control sticks up once we were clear, and the craft turned upward sharply, leaving a blue streak in the air behind it.

"We made it," I said, out of breath. I tilted the left stick up, and the right one down, and the ship began to roll. I pulled up before correcting it, effectively turning the ship a bit to the right. I figured it out before long; forward sped up, backward slowed down, and left and right controlled each wing up or down. The ship even turned without rolling of one joystick was pushed up while the other remained neutral. I wondered about how useful wings would be in space, but I shrugged the thought off.

"We made it," Krystal said, much more excited. My own heart was still racing, but I had to focus on flying the complicated craft still.

"Did you see that?" she asked excitedly. "We did it! Ditto, we just escaped! They had guns, and guards, and everything! They even had an _arwing_, which we _stole_! And you said you couldn't fly an arwing, but you did it, and now we're flying over Corneria! We can go anywhere we want, now."

"Yeah," I said uncomfortably. "Could you stop squirming so much? You are in my...uh...lap, after all."

"Oh!" she said, surprised and somewhat embarrassed.

"Do you know where we are now?" I asked before she could worsen the situation. She leaned up and looked out the side of the window.

"I don't know," she admitted. "But I think I see the school ahead of us."

"How does that help?"

"You can land on top," she replied. "The school was built to be able to handle landings."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"The same person who told me about the lockers," she said.

"And who was _that_?"

"Fara."

"Oh," I said. The cockpit hadn't been silent for ten seconds before it apparently made her uncomfortable.

"So, how did you get out?" she asked, beginning to calm down. "Cain made it clear that Sharp was their leader."

"I used this," I replied, letting go of the controls long enough to slide up my sleeve. She looked at the second mark, getting more serious by the second, before sliding my sleeve back down for me.

"Is he dead?" she asked.

I shook my head. "He's still important somehow. And I think he may become an ally at some point," I told her. If she disagreed, she didn't show it. After a few seconds, I was the one to get uncomfortable with the silence. "How'd _you_ get out?" I asked.

"Cane...I read his mind, and figured out what he planned on doing with me. But he unlocked my shackles, because apparently he liked what he called 'the struggle'. As soon as he touched me, I stunned him with my telepathy and ran."

I nodded, smiling. _One heck of a girl_. But something else came to mind. "So, you really can affect all humans better through contact?" I asked.

"No..." she said. "Just you. I waited because I wasn't sure he would hurt me, until he touched me."

"Hmm..." I hummed, wondering about that fact. I knew Krystal and I were connected somehow, since we both appeared at the same time and could communicate with a mere touch. But I was still thinking about something else Sharp had said.

"Ditto..." she began. She sounded nervous now. "Who were those people?"

I shook my head, and would have looked down if I wasn't working on trying to land the craft.

"They're here with Relics, that's all I know."

"They're _with_ him?" she asked. "Then why did they try to kill us?"

"I don't know," I said slowly, focusing more on trying to land. I pushed the button she'd pushed to make the ship stop hovering, and it slowed down further. I set it down carefully on top of the huge roof of the B building, and let my hands fall. "They said something that interests me, though."

"What's that?" she asked, unlocking and opening the window. She crawled out, and I followed her after turning off everything she'd turned on. I landed on the ground after hopping off of the craft's wing, and thanked my legs for not buckling.

I took a breath to steady myself and looked at her. "They said that they were the ones who brought me here," I told her. She looked down in contemplation. I did, too, but eventually I shivered, realizing I'd left my jacket at Relics' house. I shook my head; if Marissa was really watching over Relics, it'd be nearly impossible to get it back. And that meant showing at least one other person the marks on my arm, whether it was an adult to get my jacket back, or Colin, so he would lend me another jacket.

"How long do we have to avoid Relics?" Krystal asked. I let out a long sigh.

"You should avoid him at least until third period tomorrow."

"We're still going to school?" she asked.

"I am. I've got to talk to Relics about a few things."

"But what if they find you again?" she asked.

"I think I'll be fine. I still have another _Sin_ before I get into the last three, so I can get out any time I want."

"Well, then I'm going, too. I should be able to detect the other humans' minds easily," she said. I knew she wasn't about to back down, so I nodded slowly, still thinking about how Sharp could be involved. After a few moments, I felt the cold seeping through the tux, and shivered again.

"We should get home," I suggested. Krystal nodded solemnly. I offered her my hand, and she took it without a word. With worries about the past, and about the future, I led her down the stairway quietly, forgetting about both the arwing on the roof and the gun slung over my shoulder.

* * *

Bamf. Well, for those reading this after the day-long wait, I hope it was worth it. But for those reading this as a part of a marathon involving the entire story, you didn't even have to wait. Cheaters.

I had some difficulty with Krystal's excited exclamations in the arwing. What you read is probably the sixth revision. Also, congratulations to Comrade, who guessed the culprits on the first try. But I'll bet you didn't guess _why_ they kidnapped Ditto and Krystal. And yeah, those guys were at least partly responsible for Ditto's trip into the universe.

And, for people who leave reviews, I would like some advice. What word limit should I aim for in the chapters? Because I'm really into this story right now, so 4,000 words a day would be reasonable. I was thinking...10,000-word chapters, once (maybe twice) a week? More experienced writers, I call you now!

* * *

After-the-fact commentary: "He liked what he called 'the struggle'."

"So...you kicked him in the balls, yeah?"

"What? No, I stunned him with telepathy."

"Sure. Telepathy. Right."


	13. Chapter 13: Spy Guy

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing below. Nothing, that is, save Ditto. Or the first-person. Or George Bailey, whatever you decide to call him.

Play the drumroll, this is the longest part I've ever uploaded. Not exactly "by far", but it's plenty long. Also, there's more profanity in this chapter than usual, but still less than many comparable stories. If you're allergic to profanity, grab the Kleenex and read it anyway.

Insert plug for XxSanitariumxX, and the story may begin.

* * *

I remembered the gun before I got home. Any markings it had on it were clearly English, which I thought was odd. On its side were large letters that spelled "APIR", with smaller letters extending the abbreviation. "All-Purpose Improvised-Round submachine gun," I read aloud. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I forgot about the gun once more, as my mind went to how I would explain how late I was. I could try to say that I got lost, but that would only make Joanne worry. Besides, the gun at my hip pretty much got rid of that theory. _I could throw it in a bush_, I thought, but I didn't take that idea seriously. Some random pedestrian could find it, and that would be bad. Not to mention, I still wanted to keep it.

I didn't come up with a plan before the house became visible. It was well past midnight, so everyone in the house would probably be asleep. But that only added to my nervousness. As I approached the house, I tried to make myself a little more like Colin, who was a feline, so probably pretty stealthy. _What are they gonna think?_ I wondered again. _They'll be so disappointed. Joanne will never let me leave again, and God forbid she sits on me to keep me safe_.

I crept up to the door and put my hand on the knob, peeking in the window at the door's side. I couldn't see anyone, so I breathed a relieved sigh. But when I tried to turn the knob, it didn't budge. _Locked_, I thought. _And they never gave me a key_. I took a step back and cursed under my breath. Through my mind ran every single possible way into the house, from scaling the fence to get to the back, to climbing into a window on the second story. But eventually, I decided it wouldn't be worth the effort, and put forward my arm to knock on the door.

The door opened before I could hit it, revealing Jake. And my heart fell into my shoes. He looked as intimidating as I'd ever seen him, and my nervousness didn't help at all. His black feathers almost blended into the dark interior of the house, but I didn't make any mistake about how big he was. No jokes about "Lee" went through my mind as he stared at me silently, and I squirmed under his disappointed glare. I thought of trying to explain everything, but before I could make up my mind, he stepped aside.

"Get in here," he whispered. I nodded and hurried in, as though something was trying to get me, and the house offered safety. The door closed behind me quietly, and before I could make it to the stairs, he grabbed my shoulder. "Sit," he commanded, gesturing to the couch. I obeyed quickly, taking the gun off and setting it beside me. He sat in a chair nearby, and turned it to face me. _I think I liked being trapped with Sharp more_, I thought as he leaned forward.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," I chuckled nervously. "Look, I can explain. Relics invited me to do a double date with him and two other girls, and we –"

"I don't need to know right now," Jake said. I tried to take a deep breath, but it was sporadic. "You made Joanne worry. I don't like it when she worries."

"I'm sorry," I said. Jake had a way of making me serious that even Sharp or the police couldn't equal.

"You know you could've been seriously hurt?" he asked. I nodded. "We didn't even know where you were."

"I always have my translator," I said, holding it up. He nodded.

"You wanna tell me what happened now?" he asked after a few moments.

"Well...like I said, Relics asked if I wanted to join him and Lana on a date. I brought Krystal. It went well, and we left at a reasonable time."

"Then where were you?" Jake asked.

"I...someone hit us with a tranquilizer," I said, and I saw a spark of anger in Jake's eye. "But we got out, and escaped in an arwing."

"Kidnapped? An arwing?" he asked, leaning back. His feathers rose slightly in an amused gesture. _Great. He doesn't believe me_, I thought. The feathers slowly fell, though, as it dawned on him that I was telling the truth. "You know who?" he asked.

"No," I lied. I didn't know where to find them, anyway. "And they aren't normal. They could take a gorilla in a boxing match."

"And you got out?" he asked. I didn't hear skepticism in his voice, though, and I nodded. "Maybe you're tougher than you look," he said.

"I hit him when he wasn't looking and then ran," I said. It was true...enough.

"You made sure Lana and Krystal were okay first, right?" he asked.

"Krystal's okay, yeah, but Lana didn't get taken."

He hummed and looked down in contemplation. "Your father's raised you well. You could've left her behind."

"Thank you. But I really couldn't," I said, almost chuckling. "Krystal just about saved _me_."

He let out a laugh, careful not to awaken anyone who was sleeping, and I managed to smile. Now that I knew he wouldn't try to take my head off, I was able to relax.

"Hey," he said as I stood up. "Let me tell Joanne. I know how to talk to her."

"Okay," I said, grabbing my rifle. I didn't know much about it, but I planned on learning something. But he took it out of my hands before I could get away.

"And _this_, I'll keep hidden. Wouldn't want Colin or Ruth to get their hands on it."

"Thanks," I said. I tried to walk away again, but he stopped me. This time, he turned me back to face him, and looked into my eyes for a little while. I started to squirm under his gaze again, but he held me still.

"Whatever you're hiding..." he said slowly. I looked away guiltily. I didn't know how he figured out that I was lying, but I did know that I didn't like betraying his trust.

"I will tell you," I promised. "Some day."

"I look forward to it," he said before pushing me toward the stairs. "Now go get some sleep. You've got school in a few hours."

"Alright. Thanks for...understanding."

* * *

Joanne pretty much read me the riot act in the morning; how worried she'd been, how I could've been hurt, and that sort of thing. But I knew Jake had talked to her, because she didn't actually _ask_ many questions. Nobody did, in fact. The only one who would really talk to me was Colin, and that's mostly because I talked to him first, to ask for a jacket. I didn't see Jake before Joanne drove me to school, so I asked her to thank him for me.

I actually managed to hold my head high as Joanne drove away. I mean, it's not like I really did anything wrong. But I also knew that Relics had some explaining to do. As they had the day before, Katherine and Michael walked away wordlessly to find their friends, so I strode toward the front doors. I hadn't even taken five steps before Eli found me.

"Ditto!" he called. I managed not to sigh as I turned toward him.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Don't 'yeah' me. You've got some explaining to do," he said, pulling me aside.

"Eli, what are you talking about?"

"You, duh! You and your _date_."

"It wasn't a date."

"Well, it sure seemed like one on the news."

"I was on the news?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah. You and that 'Relics' kid. But I think you're my hero now."

"Why is that?"

"Oh, come on! You talked to Krystal, who you knew for _one day_, and convinced her to go on a date with you. But not just any date, oh no, you take her to the _Winchester_. Without even paying for it! And then you manage to convince her that the whole thing wasn't a date! I wish I could plan things like that!"

"Good grief, does everyone already know all that?" I asked.

"That's what happens when both humans on Corneria hang out together. Everyone's interested. But what I want to know is where you two went after the date."

"What do you mean?"

"Like you don't know," he said knowingly. "Come on, what happened? Did you score?"

"'Score'? Really?" I asked. "No, of course not."

"Then where were you two for how many hours? Because you missed a hell of a sight."

"Hmm?"

"An arwing," he said, almost reverently. "That's right. A military weapon of precision and destruction. Flown right out of a high-security military base, around midnight last night. Whoever took it knew what they were doing; they got away from any radars and turned off the thing's GPS. Nobody even knows where it is now, but I heard they stashed it near _this_ school."

"You're crazy," I said, chuckling in spite of myself. _Like I knew what I was doing_. But my head snapped up a second later. "Wait, you said a military base?" I asked.

"Yeah. Some forgotten base down south somewhere. Don't know why, but I heard there weren't even any people in that base; haven't been for years. Why an arwing would be in there..."

"And you said no one knows where the arwing is?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, looking askance at me. He knocked on my head a few times for good measure, saying, "Hello? Anybody in there?"

"Hey," I said, rubbing my head. "But that all sounds pretty cool. What would you do if you found the thing?"

"Aww, that'd be _sweet_!" he exclaimed. I smiled, glad that I'd changed the subject. "I'd hide it in my garage, paint it, fly it around. Maybe use it to pick up chicks?"

"Eli, you already said it's a precision instrument of death. I don't think your date would want to be crammed in there with you."

"I'll bet I wouldn't get shoved in any lockers, though," he said with a smirk.

"Unless the bully beat you up and took the ship, right?" I asked. "Then you'd be straight up screwed."

"Oh, yeah, right. Like they could catch me."

"You can't outrun an arwing," I said, before noticing Relics walking toward the school, carrying a guitar case and a small amp. I started toward him, suddenly serious. "I'll be right back, Eli."

"Hey, where are you –"

"I said 'I'll be right back,'" I repeated, glaring at him.

"Okay, okay," Eli said, backing away. I walked right up to Relics, ignoring the students who were asking about his guitar, and stood right in his path. He didn't notice me until he was about to run into me, but when he did, he perked up.

"You're okay!" he exclaimed.

"We need to talk," I said, trying to keep a serious expression.

"Alright, sure, what about?" he asked.

"Privately," I said quietly.

"Okay..." he said slowly, thinking it over. A second later, he said, "Come on," and turned toward the back of the school. I followed, making sure nobody tried to follow us. Fortunately, everyone but Eli had better things to do.

"Not now, Eli," I said, turning my back on him.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked. I didn't respond.

Relics led me around the back of the A building, where there were almost no students. I saw a group of kids near a different building, probably passing around some kind of drug, but I ignored them.

"So, what's up?" Relics asked.

"Who the hell is 'Sharp'?" I asked. Recognition flashed across his features, but he tried to hide it.

"W-what are you talking about?" he asked.

"Don't you turn on me, too. Your buddies Cane and Sharp _kidnapped_ us last night. I know you know them."

"What makes you think that?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Because they said that Miranda was following a certain agent six-four," I said. He glanced around, a hint of anger in his eyes, before he turned to me again.

"You're sure about that?" he asked quietly.

"Relics...what's going on?"

"I...I can't tell you," he said, looking down.

"Well, Krystal and I knocked out both Cain and Sharp, and then got out by ourselves," I said. His head snapped up, his expression intense.

"What? You? How the hell did you knock out Sharp?"

"I've got my own secrets," I said. "Who's agent six-four?"

"Damn it, Ditto, I can't tell you!"

"Then what can you tell me, huh? Because last I checked, _you_ weren't the one who was kidnapped. What if Krystal gets hurt because of you?"

"She won't be," a feminine voice said from nearby. I turned toward it, but I didn't see anyone. Suddenly, something hit my chest, knocking me down. The voice giggled, and a woman began to appear nearby. I'd have thought she was attractive in her form-fitting stealth suit, had she not just kicked me to the ground.

"Miranda?" Relics asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm watching out for _you_, handsome. Your friend already said so," she said as I sat up.

"What do you want?" I asked. Quick as a flash, she whipped out a blaster and pressed it right between my eyes. I heard the whirring of it charging up, and somehow I knew she wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger.

"Miranda," Relics warned. The woman stared at me for a few more moments, before pulling the blaster away.

"What?" she asked innocently, "I wasn't gonna kill him." She put the gun away, and I climbed to my feet slowly.

"What _do_ you want?" Relics asked.

"Nothing; I was just supposed to tell your friend something. Sharp says we have a way to get him home, if he wants. And if not, he's supposed to stay out of our way," she said. She leaned toward me with a seductive smile and added, "We won't go so easy on him next time."

"Still looking for your arwing?" I asked with a smirk. Her smile disappeared, shortly before she did.

"Arwing?" Relics asked. He went ignored.

"I'll be watching," she said. A moment later, I saw something invisible press up against Relics' lips, and I knew what Miranda was doing.

"She's a bitch," I said with a chuckle. A blaster bold fired from nearby and narrowly missed my foot. I jumped away, but then I heard Miranda's giggle. I scowled toward where I thought she was.

"Time for school," she said happily.

"Seriously, though, an arwing?" Relics asked once he came back to earth.

"Yeah. We had to leave, and that was the only way out," I replied, walking through the school's back doors. Relics followed.

"How'd you fly it?" he asked. "Oh, wait. Never mind."

"What?" I asked.

"Krystal piloted, didn't she? Had some experience on whatever planet she's from?"

"No, I flew it. What makes that so hard to believe?"

"Okay, hold on. First, you tell me you beat Sharp, which I probably couldn't do, and then you say you stole an arwing?" he asked. "Who are you, and what did you do with the _real_ Ditto?"

"Stole an arwing?" someone asked. Suddenly Eli stuck his head out from around a corner.

"Oh, no," I said, slapping my forehead.

"_You_ took the arwing?" he asked. I assumed he was smiling, but I was still new to the feather-emotion thing.

"Keep it down, bird brain," Relics said. "We don't want the entire school hearing."

"Holy –" he began, before I clamped a hand over his beak.

"Okay, if you'll stay calm; yes, I'm the one who took the arwing, okay? Some crazy shit happened last night, and I didn't really have a choice."

I slowly took my hand away, but I could still tell that Eli was excited. He was nearly trembling, but he did remember to whisper. "You broke into a military base? What are you, some kind of super-spy? What's your real name? Is Ditto just a cover? Are you here on a secret mission for the humans? Or are you really even a human?"

"Eli," I said, annoyed, "I'm not a spy."

"Oh, sure. That's just what a spy would say. But you snuck into a secret base, you stole an arwing, and you even got the girl. You're a spy."

"Oh, come on, are you –" I began, when he ran away excitedly.

"I'll catch you later," he called out. I just stared after him, confused.

"You know, I'll bet Miranda would be willing to get rid of him for us," Relics said. His seriousness almost scared me.

"Nah," I chuckled. "At least, not if he keeps that big beak shut."

"Hear that?" Relics asked over his shoulder. There was no answer. "What, she actually left?"

"She's supposed to be sneaky, isn't she? She wouldn't talk if she was sneaking."

"Oh, you don't know Miranda," he said.

"I'll just take your word for it," I said with a smirk. I pointed at a door as we passed it. "Isn't that your class?"

"Yeah," he said dejectedly. "I'll see you later."

"You, too. I've got to go find Krys–" I began, when I almost bumped into someone. I looked up, and saw the bull from the previous day.

"Oh, look who it is," he said with a dark smile on his face. "The little wimp from yesterday. Where's your little friend today, huh? You gonna help him again?"

"Really?" I asked no one in particular. "Do I have to do this again today?"

"Look, runt, I ain't got no problem with you. Just tell me where the hawk is, and I'll leave you alone."

"I would suggest you leave anyway," Relics said, returning from the room. "Or things could get ugly."

"What?" the bull snorted. "Well, from the looks of you, things already got ugly."

"Just what's that supposed to mean?" a girl asked from behind the bull. I glanced around him, and saw Miyu. He turned, too, and his tone immediately changed when he saw her.

"M-Miyu! These friends of yours?" he stammered.

"Might be," she said, looking me up and down. I could tell she still didn't like me, but at least she didn't hate me.

"Well, I didn't mean nothin'. We's just messin' around, right kid?" he asked, punching my shoulder harder than was necessary. I rubbed my shoulder without responding.

"Is he the one you stuffed in a locker yesterday?" she asked.

"How'd you –?" I began.

"Krystal told me. Well, Pete?"

_Pete?_ I thought.

"I-I mean...w-we just...er...I was trying...you see, what happened was –" he stammered, before taking off down the hall.

"Dang," I said, watching him go. "What did you do to –" but she was already entering the class Relics was standing in front of. "Hold on," I said, reaching a hand to stop her. As soon as I touched her shoulder, her hand shot up and grabbed mine. Her claws were slightly extended, pricking my skin ever so slightly, and I froze.

"Don't touch me," she warned, before letting me pull my hand back. "I don't know you that well."

"Well, thanks!" I called after her. I turned to Relics, who was holding in a laugh. "Thanks to you, too," I said. He smiled and walked into the room.

I turned around to find my own class, and saw a red robin a little way off. _Melina!_ I ducked my head before she noticed me, and tried to go on my way. _The most infamous character in the story, and with my luck, she's going to try to seduce _me, I thought. Still, I only hoped that I could get to class before more drama unfolded. I wasn't so lucky. Just when I thought I'd gotten away without her noticing me, she came up behind me.

"Hey," she said, almost startling me. I stood up straight, and turned toward her, trying to ignore her ample attributes. It wasn't easy; she was wearing a tight shirt and leaning slightly forward, and I just _knew_ it was on purpose.

"Yeah?" I asked, glancing instead at the lockers.

"I heard you were with Relics last night. So...did he say if he was gonna call me?" she asked. She seemed innocent enough, but I knew exactly what was under the feathery exterior.

"I didn't hear him mention you," I said.

"Oh," she said, disappointed. "So, his date with Lana went well?"

"From what he told me, yes. But I hear Falco was –"

"Oh, I'm not interested in _Falco_."

"But you're interested in Relics?" I asked knowingly. I managed to make and keep eye contact.

"Maybe," she admitted, stepping closer slowly. "But maybe I'm just wondering what it's like to be with a human."

"More power to you," I said, turning around. She stopped me with a feathery hand on my shoulder.

"Hang on, wait," she said. As much as I knew I'd regret it, I stopped and turned toward her again. "I'm just concerned about Relics, is all. He doesn't know who Lana _really_ is."

"But I do," I told her. By her reaction, you'd think I had just grown another head.

"What do you know?" she asked.

"I know she was infamous. She hung out with Wolf O'Donnell for a while, got into the wrong crowd, and all that."

"That's not all," she said, looking at me sullenly. "We were best friends. I knew her like no one else did. But then Wolf came..."

"...and she changed?" I guessed. She shook her head.

"No, she didn't just change. She became a completely different person. She threw away our friendship, for _him_."

"But she was hurt, too. She's changed, you know? And she knows that she made mistakes. She needs your forgiveness, after all."

"I can't forgive her," Melina said, suddenly turning away.

"You pretentious bitch," I said, making her turn toward me again. "I'm sure she did plenty of bad things, but you aren't the only one she hurt. I'm sure she made Fox and his friends resent her, too, but they grew the hell up and forgave her. Maybe if you'd get your own damned ego out of the way, you'd see how much she's already paid for what she's done. Y'know what? Don't forgive her. What do I care? But if you hurt her, ruin her, and break her heart...it won't feel good. You won't be any better than she was."

"You don't know me!" she shouted at me with watery eyes. "You don't know what she did to me."

"You still aren't alone," I said. I couldn't help but wonder whether she was even being honest. "Look, I don't hate you, okay? I don't want to be an ass. Just don't try anything with Relics, because he is my friend, and I don't want him to get hurt in all of this."

"Okay," she said, nodding. She turned toward me with the avian equivalent of a smile. "I...I'll try." She put her hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes for a while. Her eyes weren't watering any more, but I still saw the tear tracks down her cheeks. The sight made me take a closer look at her. She certainly didn't look bad; if she gave up the anti-Lana game, she could've had a boyfriend by the end of the day, if she wanted one. But I knew she wasn't all that sincere when she started slowly leaning forward.

_That's enough of that_, I thought, removing her hands as politely as I could. _How would it even feel to kiss a beak? Y'know what? I don't want to find out_. "Just get to class, Melina."

Her feathers smoothed themselves, and she stared at me intently. "When did I tell you my name?" she asked. _Damn_. _I manage to get through an entire conversation without giving away any real information, and then I blow it_.

"I...uh...must have...overheard when Falco gave Relics your note."

The minute-bell chose that moment to ring, and I almost leapt for joy. "Well, I've got to go," I said as I turned and ran through the halls, "See you later!"

I didn't listen for a response as I ran. I wasn't weighed down by anything like a backpack, so I could sidestep and dodge the other students without much of a problem. Fortunately, it was only down the hall and to the right, so I got into the class and into my seat a good fifteen seconds before the bell rang. I didn't have to explain my panting to the students around me. Except Eli, but after I chastised him for the second day in a row for running away without an explanation, I quieted down. I tried to listen to the teacher as he began to go over a review of math concepts, but I quickly remembered how boring math was.

After a few minutes of his boring prattle, I laid my head down on the desk. _This is going to be a very long year_, I thought.

* * *

A/N: Good grief, has he met everyone yet? Let's see, new characters in this part...oh, wait. No, not that many. Miranda and Melina, that's about it. I mean, Pete, the big bull guy got a name, but he's not really new. And I elaborated on Jake, effectively removing his nickname. But for a double-length chapter, I think that's not too many. As always, I'd really appreciate a review, favorite, or follow.

Well, I may just take a day-or-so break to update some of my other fics. I mean, I haven't updated Dragons' Legacy in a while, and I have a few ideas for that story. At least Duel of the Unknown is completed, by my standards. That story's been getting a lot of views these past few days, too. It's always fun to see that. Maybe one day, when I improve my skills, I'll rewrite it. It could've been great, but it seems to be sorta..."meh".

Wanna know my dream? I want to make a fully-original story, publish a book based off of it, wait for the series to get popular (assuming it does), and write a fanfiction based off of my _own_ work. Then, in the disclaimer, I can say "Hey, I **DO** own this story, and the official characters."

Oh, right, and I should apologize to Miles Tails McCloud, since he's currently Beta Reading this very chapter. I'm just too impatient, I suppose. And since I'm almost done writing chapter 14, I decided to upload anyway.

One last **EDIT**, I have a new favorite quote from this series. **"Where's your arwing?"** If you have one, I'd love to hear it; just leave a review, if you would. And it'll help my self-esteem if you checked a favorite or follow box, too.

Edit (again): I made Ditto REALLY tell off Melina. It adds some depth to her future appearances. And I had to edit it again to seem nice immediately after that, because I didn't want to go into all the work of making her not lean in for the kiss. Just makes it easier on me, really.


	14. Chapter 14: Rockstar

**Disclaimer:** Check out XxSanitariumxX and his stories, because this story (and this chapter, specifically) is based off of Exchange Student. As such, I own nothing and no one but the first-person.

Question: Did anyone catch the not-so-subtle irony in the last chapter? There's a hint at the end of this chapter, if you're having trouble.

I updated Dragons' Legacy a couple days ago, with a triple-length update. And now that I have Super Meat Boy, I may slow down in my writing...but I won't stop, that I promise. I now know of two consistent readers (Comrade, the random guy), which is cool.

* * *

The clock never went slower than it did that period. Every other class was interesting somehow, but first period was math, and the only person I knew in the whole class was Eli. Not that it mattered; the teacher was strict about silence. It would've been more interesting had Pete been in the class, so I could mess with him about Miyu. Even if it got me put into another locker, I figured it'd be worth it, to get out of the class.

Still, the class eventually ended, and I was one of the first out the door when it did. The teacher was still saying something about homework, but I ignored it. _Not like I need a good grade, anyway_. After a bathroom break, I managed to get into Ms. Kensington's class without a problem. When I got there, I found that the door was open, but no one was inside but the teacher. I weighed my options for a whole two seconds before deciding to wait in the hallways and risk more drama rather than spending even a minute alone with Ms. Kensington.

But the drama never came. The wait was actually pretty boring, until Relics showed up. He was still carrying the guitar and amp, which earned him quite a few looks as he passed others in the hallway. I nodded toward him, before entering the classroom just ahead of him.

"Oh, hello," the teacher said. "...Ditto, was it?"

"Yeah," I replied, before making my way to my seat. As soon as she spied Relics and his guitar, she forgot about me anyway.

"Hello, Relics!" she exclaimed, standing. "Is that the..._guitar_?"

"Well, _this_ is," relics said, holding up the guitar case and setting the amplifier down.

"It's so strange," she said, looking closer.

"You've never seen one before?" I asked. She turned to me and shook her head.

"Is it something you tap, like a drum?" she asked, turning to the guitar case again. I saw the look on Relics' face, and almost busted out laughing. _I don't need Krystal to know what he's thinking. Something about "tapping" the school's easiest teacher, I'll bet_.

"N-no," Relics said, coming back to reality, "not at all." He set the case down on a nearby desk and opened it, pulling out the red electric guitar. I let out a low whistle; I wasn't all that impressed, but it _was_ very shiny. Ignoring the thoughts that told me I was simple, I took in the design, which somehow reminded me of the Star Fox emblem; it was a winged fox. Ms. Kensington, fortunately, was interested in the guitar for a different reason.

"Wow," she whispered. "It's amazing. Do you mind if I...?"

"Go ahead," Relics said with a smile, handing it to her. She took the guitar and held it like you'd expect, even though she'd never seen one before. Rather than strumming it, she was running her fingers up and down it, almost reverently.

"What are these things?" she asked, stroking one of the strings.

"Those are the strings," he said, and I resisted the urge to comment on the obvious statement. _Insult me for being distracted by the shine, but at least I know a string when I see one_. Relics continued, "You're supposed to strum them, like this." He plucked a string, but the bell rang, drowning out the sound.

"Dude!" Bill shouted from behind Relics. He visibly jumped, and I didn't bother trying not to laugh. "What is that?" Bill asked.

"It's a guitar," Relics said, putting a hand over his heart. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Few minutes now," an orange feline said, startling Relics again. I laughed more, but nobody noticed.

"Alright, everyone, take your seats," Ms. Kensington said, handing Relics his guitar again. "Except you, Relics." I saw his head hang slightly, and I couldn't help but smile. His frustration, after all, was funny. The teacher only continued once everyone was seated. "Now, Relics agreed to play us something on his..._guitar_..." she began, still having trouble with the word. Relics' head snapped toward her in surprise. "...yesterday." Relics' head hung again as he mentally kicked himself. She continued. "And if I hear so much as _one_ remark, I'll give you the longest wall sit of your life! And we'll use you as target practice," she warned, glaring at Bill and Falco. She turned toward Relics again with an avian smile. "Whenever you're ready, Relics."

He nodded and set his guitar in the open case, which clearly confused the swan. "I just have to set it up real quick," he explained, before moving to the amplifier. Without plugging it into anything, he messed around with it for a bit before taking the guitar back out of its case and plugging it in.

"Now, I might still have a bit of a hangover from last night," Relics began, sitting on a stool in the front of the room.

"You're welcome!" Bill shouted. I turned to him with a smirk.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. Relics didn't even pay attention to Bill, still talking to the rest of the class.

"I made him meet Lana," Bill said. "If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have gone on that date."

"And he wouldn't have been attacked by Wolf," I reminded him. "Or have a hangover right now."

"Oh, just go and ruin everything, why don't you?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"...song called 'Hotel California'," Relics said, "by a band that lived over seven hundred years ago called the Eagles."

"Seven hundred years?!" I asked, clutching my chest like I was having a heart attack. I knew it was a long time in the future, but to hear just how much still came as a surprise. Like everyone else who said something in that moment, I went ignored. Relics nervously positioned his hands to play the first note.

"You got this!" I cheered. Relics chuckled, but Ms. Kensington stared daggers at me. I shut my mouth and looked down guiltily.

Relics took a deep breath to steady himself, and the first notes exploded from the amp. I recognized it after the first few notes, once my ears got used to the volume, and I started bobbing my head to the beat. His fingers glided across the strings like someone who knew what they were doing, and while he didn't do anything over-the-top or with flair, he didn't miss a single note. For almost a minute, I sat with my eyes closed, nodding to the music. I heard the first verse coming up, and took a breath to sing along quietly, but right as I mouthed the first word, the music stopped abruptly. My eyes flashed open, and I saw Relics standing at the front of the room like he'd been caught robbing a bank.

His face went from pale, to pink, to red, and his leg started to shake, as if it had a mind of its own. I looked around the class, and noticed that everyone else's jaw was hanging. _Good grief_, I thought. _It's not like he just performed sorcery; he just played a guitar_. Of course, I had to admit that I couldn't play any instrument half that well, but I shrugged that thought off.

"That was...awesome!" Bill finally shouted. Relics shied away like he'd been insulted, until it dawned on him that he'd been complimented.

"I-I...th-thanks, Bill..." Relics managed.

"No, man, thank _you_. I've never heard anything like that!"

"The radio?" I asked sarcastically. A pen suddenly hit me square between the eyes.

"That's enough, Ditto," Ms. Kensington said. She turned to Relics. "That was quite uplifting, Relics. Please, if you would play for us some more?"

"Alright, alright," he said, smiling broadly. Apparently his nervousness had disappeared completely. "This one is a riff from a song called 'Dream On', written around the same time as the last one by a band named Aerosmith. Now, how did it go again...? Oh, yeah," he said, before jumping right into the song. He played it through perfectly again, not missing a single note. But once he got to the part with the words, he abruptly stopped again. At least nobody else seemed to notice the lack of singing, and frankly, that was fine with me. I knew how nervous singing made him, after all.

"Dude! Dude!" Bill exclaimed. He was apparently one of the only ones who could overcome his amazement to say anything. "More, man! And turn it up!"

"Okay, Bill. Just calm down. Now, this one is a riff from –" he began, when the orange feline from the beginning of class raised a hand. "Yes?" he said, pointing to her.

"Um...sorry...I was just wondering...do any of the songs have lyrics?" she asked shyly. Relics let out a frustrated sigh, but nobody else seemed to notice.

"Yeah," he admitted. "Both of the riffs I played have more to them, and lyrics."

"Well..." she began, laying her ears back and scratching her desk idly, "could you maybe...I mean, you don't have to, of course. But...uh..."

"You want me to sing one?" Relics asked. The feline nodded happily, and the smile Relics plastered onto his face couldn't fool a drunken porcupine. "Well, I could, but –"

"Do it!" Bill shouted suddenly.

"Okay, Bill, I'll –" Relics began, before realizing what he was saying. "Wait, I don't have a very good singing voice. And I'd hate to ruin any songs or –"

"We're not going to laugh, Relics. Ms. Kensington will spay, neuter, or castrate anyone who even snickers. Even her favorite student," Bill said, pointing a thumb toward himself. Half the class snickered, and Ms. Kensington herself muttered something under her breath.

"Still...I really don't –" Relics began, before seeing Bill, who was staring with the best semblance of puppy eyes he could. The whole scene made me struggle to cover up a laugh. Relics sighed deeply. "Alright, fine, Bill. _One_ song!"

"Fuck yeah!" Bill shouted at the top of his lungs. Both Ms. Kensington and I shot a glare at him, which made him try to calm down. "Crank it up, Relics."

_Here we go_, I thought as Relics' hand went to the volume control. It ticked up twice, from five to seven, and he plucked a single string. The note shot out from the amplifier and filled the room, and probably a few of the surrounding rooms.

"Louder!" Falco shouted.

"Alright, if you want louder..." Relics said, turning it up yet again.

"We won't be able to hear his voice," I commented. I was completely ignored, but at least no more pens were thrown my way. Relics looked over the class proudly, taking in the sight of a classroom full of eager students.

"Okay, this is 'Coming Undone', by a band called Korn. Once again, they lived over seven hundred years ago."

Relics put his fingers in place to play the first notes, and then looked over the class once more. He swallowed hard, and then looked back at his guitar. Without warning, he struck the first note, sending some of the class back in surprise at the sudden noise. Bill shot to his feet and started cheering like someone at a concert. As Relics played, he managed not to miss a single note yet again, and I found myself actually getting into the music. He didn't take his eyes off of the guitar the whole time, so engrossed in making the song as perfect as possible.

And then the singing started. Rather than stopping abruptly like he had the first two times, he continued playing, and his voice rang out with surprising clarity, considering how loud the amp was. His voice wasn't bad, by any means, and while he probably wouldn't be able to make money doing it, he definitely didn't ruin the song. I wasn't all too concerned about his skill anyway; I'd never heard the song before, so I was more concerned with listening to the lyrics, and trying to understand the meaning behind them. _Call it a weakness_, I thought with a chuckle.

"Keep holding on, while my brains ticking like a bomb, guess the black dots have come again to get me," Relics sang, appeasing the class. As he prepared for the next line, Bill started clapping to the rhythm, and before long, most of the class had joined. I continued to sit calmly in my own desk, but I found myself bobbing my head again.

"Sweet little words, unlike nothing I have heard, sing along mockingbird, you don't affect me," Relics continued. By the time he finished the line, the entire class, save me, was on their feet clapping to the beat. I noticed a few students in the hallway watching, too, and some students were very obviously recording the whole thing. _If he wasn't a celebrity before, he is now_, I thought.

Relics continued to sing the song, getting into it more and more as he continued to go. The nervousness left his voice by the middle of the song, and after that, even I had to admit, he was pretty good. Pretty soon entire classrooms were standing in the hallway, their teachers disrupted by the miniature concert but too interested to demand its finish.

"That's right! Deliver it to my heart! Please strike! Be deliberate..." he sang, holding the last note until it dwindled almost to nothing. A few students leaned forward in anticipation. Before I could wonder why the song ended so early, he blasted another chord from the amp, sending those who had leaned forward to the back of their seats. Relics broke into the chorus, and he finally stopped caring about anything but the song. _About time_, I thought. At least he wasn't cowering up front like a lost puppy anymore. The change didn't affect the music much, since he'd already missed a total of zero notes, but now that he was taking the song seriously, it was easier for anyone else to. And since I was the only one who hadn't been completely caught up in the song, it only really affected me. So, not two beats later, I started to clap, too.

Relics continued to play through the song, leaning back and forth to the beat like he was barely resisting the urge to bang his head. Most of the rest of the class wasn't resisting that urge, and even I started rocking side to side like someone who just had to dance but didn't know how. Thankfully, nobody got out of their seats to turn it into a dancing competition. At some point, Relics stood up, the energy in the room getting to him, too. Even in his own excitement, his skill and rhythm didn't change at all. When he finally got to the end of the song, he dramatically played every one of the last notes, banging his head at each strum across the guitar's strings. And I banged my head at the same time he did.

He hit the last note without even a slight error, and held the note until the room became completely silent. I finally noticed that I was the last one clapping, and let my hands fall to my sides. He had played through the entire song without missing a note or a word, and it had blown away the rest of the class. After a few moments, he glanced up and looked around at the awestruck crowd. The rock star that had played a few moments ago had been replaced with the trembling kitten again, and he abruptly looked out the door like he was about to be sick.

And then everybody started clapping again. It wasn't something uncertain, where one person starts it, and everyone else joins slowly; it was a wave of applause that took both me and Relics by complete surprise. Relics looked around, getting redder and redder and quietly thanking his audience, while I joined in the applause after some hesitation. The students and even teachers in the hallway were applauding as well, and it took Ms. Kensington a full five minutes just to get it quiet enough to restore order. During that time, I wondered why she didn't throw more pens with her uncanny aim, but I didn't think she had enough to waste on the students. They were good pens, too; I decided to keep the one she'd thrown at me.

"Well," she sighed once she finally quieted the classroom down and shut the door, "thank you, Relics. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, I've never hear anything so amazing in my life."

"Fuck yeah, you do!" Bill shouted. Similar exclamations were being made all over the room.

_Y'all some lyin' little punks_, I thought with a snicker. It certainly hadn't been bad, but the best she'd ever heard? I very seriously doubted that.

"Well...I'm glad you all enjoyed..." Relics began, distracted by the people just outside the room. He waved at them nervously without finishing his statement.

"I suppose we should move on to the lesson at hand," Ms. Kensington said, and Relics sighed. He started to turn everything off and put it all away, while the teacher continued talking. "Feel free to bring it in anytime, Relics." Before he could finish packing up and get back to his seat, she leaned toward him and whispered something right into his ear, and by Relics' wide-eyed reaction, I knew what sort of thing she'd said.

_No wonder everyone knows she's the easiest teacher_, I thought as Relics made his way to an empty seat without paying attention to anything. Suddenly, I was struck by an odd thought. _What if Ms. Kensington, Melina, and Melissa were all going for the same guy?_ I wondered, snickering again. I had to stop my snicker from growing when I realized that, in fact, they were.

"Dude," I said once Relics sat down, "you looked like you were about to piss yourself."

"I didn't?" he asked with a laugh.

"Nah, but I think you came pretty close. If nobody was in the halls, you'd have dipped."

"Dipped?" he asked, apparently humored.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, "make fun of my words some other day."

"So, it really wasn't bad?" he asked. The nervousness was leaving, but slowly. And Ms. Kensington hadn't helped.

"Calm down. You handled it really well, considering how little warning you had. And it's a good thing; I bet half of Corneria already knows about it."

"What?" he asked. "They recorded it?"

"Of course they did. 'The human did something, we must make it known'," I mocked in my best robot-voice. Of course, the voice didn't really fit the situation, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

"Excuse me," Ms. Kensington asked when she finally noticing us speaking, "would you like to share your conversation with the class?"

"Response: Negative," I said, continuing the robot voice. I got one or two soft laughs, but the teacher didn't find it funny in the slightest. "Sorry," I said quickly, hiding my smirk.

"That's two," she warned, holding up two fingers (or feathers, I didn't know which). Many of the other students, including Bill, let out an "Ooh," like I'd gotten in serious trouble. I blanched and folded my hands, staring nervously at her. She continued teaching, and I let out a breath that I hadn't remembered holding. _Only I could piss off the most "friendly" teacher in the school on the second day_, I thought.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, I finished this a couple of days ago, so here it is. That makes fourteen chapters. I'm encountering what seems to be a plot hole: in Exchange Student, it says that lunch is between 2nd and 3rd period on Mondays only, but Relics goes to lunch before P.E. on the second day (they play dodgeball). I'll just assume that it's the normal schedule, as opposed to Mondays only.

That being said, Fox and Krystal will meet in the next chapter, for lunch. Will Ditto play the part of a jealous boyfriend, despite their relationship being exaggerated to everyone but themselves? Will Fox even give her a second glance? Or will Miyu suddenly be unfriendly toward Krystal when she sees how Fox acts toward her? I really have no clue how I'll handle it, so stick around for a bit.

Question Hint: Chapter 13's title is related to it.

Also, shout out to XxSanitariumxX, should he be reading this himself. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Comrade: Well, Miranda may or may not still be following him. I mean, she does still have missions to do. But Ditto is a wild card, so I can't be sure Sharp will continue to leave him alone. And here's an interesting thought: that thing that happens to Lana (you know if you need to), happens tonight. Ditto will have to move the arwing, or risk the "bad guys" finding it first. And that would be very bad. It could affect what happens to everyone, and Relics might not succeed.


	15. Chapter 15: Change

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters, settings, and ideas represented in this story. I wrote it, yes, but that's about it.

Holy cow! This was only meant to be a little 2000-word filler, where Krystal and Fox met. But I couldn't stop the dialogue from flowing from my brain, so this is what happened: a 4000-word (double-length) chapter.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Relics asked as I exited Ms. Kensington's room.

"Third period," I said uncertainly. Relics shook his head.

"Lunch time."

"I thought it came after third period on Tuesdays."

"I guess not," he said, gesturing toward Falco and Bill, who were headed for the lunch room.

"Alright," I said. "You guys go ahead, I'll catch up later."

"You going to see your girlfriend again?" Falco called.

"Least I have one," I called back, before turning away with a snicker. Sometimes, he just made it too easy. I admitted to myself that it technically wasn't true, but it was as far as he knew.

I ducked and dodged through the hallways for the second day in a row, this time less hindered by the previous day's bruises. I must have passed a few people I knew, but I disregarded them, once again looking for Krystal. It didn't take me long to find her, because she had gotten closer to the cafeteria than the previous day. And this time, she was walking alongside both Lana and Miyu.

"Hey," I called. All three looked toward me, and Krystal and Lana smiled.

"Don't you have better things to do?" Miyu asked. I shook my head.

"I know Krystal doesn't have money, anyway, so I wanted to buy her lunch," I explained. I'd only come up with the excuse on the way to meet her.

"When did you get money?" she asked.

"I found it last night," I said, hoping she would get it. "It's not much," I added, hoping Miyu and Lana wouldn't guess what had really happened.

"Oh, yeah, where did you two rush off to so late last night?" Lana asked knowingly.

"They were closing. We decided to leave at a reasonable time," I said.

"Then where were you when Jason picked us up?"

"We...uh...got lost," I said.

Lana looked over at Miyu with a smile and said, "Sure you did."

"It's not like that," Krystal said. "We're not as bad as you tell me Miyu and Fox are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Miyu asked.

"You two disappear together every day," Lana said.

"We do not."

"Then how often do you spend time with him?" Lana asked knowingly.

"Oh, be quiet," Miyu said. "I'd rather talk about you and Relics."

"With me right here?" I asked. I didn't think they'd actually say anything personal, but I didn't want to be a part of the gossip.

"Well, then go away," she said.

"I'm here to buy a meal for Krystal," I countered. She rolled her eyes and continued talking to Lana.

"Don't mind her," Krystal said. "Let's hurry, so we can get a good spot in line."

"And just leave them behind?" I asked, gesturing to the other two.

"They can keep up if they want," Krystal said, before starting to jog. "C'mon."

"Good, follow her," Miyu said.

"Don't you need to go meet Fox?" I asked with a snicker as I started after Krystal. She ignored me. I managed to catch up without too much trouble; she wasn't running away, after all.

"So, was that just a trick to get alone?" I asked.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, we're still probably going to be near the back of the line."

"I don't know about the back," she said, looking around at the people we were passing. I could actually see Relics ahead, exiting the A building.

"Oh, shoot, that reminds me; I've got to go hide the plane."

"The what?" she asked. "Oh, that. Why?"

"Well, the roof is...going to be occupied tonight. I've just got to move it somewhere else."

"What about lunch?" she asked as we left the building.

"If you'll get me something, you can hold the money," I said, fishing the coin-like chips I'd brought out of my pocket. I had to slow down, and she stopped right in front of me. She held out her hand, and I dropped all five into her palm. Her eyes widened when she saw them, and she picked up one of them with her other hand.

"How much did you take?" she asked. I shrugged.

"There was more than that, though. Why?"

She held up the chip she'd inspected toward me. "Ditto, this is –" she began, before leaning close and whispering, "this is five hundred credits. That'll easily buy both of us food for a month. How did you get it?"

"Sharp had a lot of money on him," I explained. "I just grabbed the bag I found the money in. I didn't know how much was in it. I _can_ trust you with that much, right?"

"Of course," she said, looking at the chips happily before putting them in a pocket. "So, what do you want?"

"Uh...probably just a burger. Plain – no, wait. They don't do special orders. Just get me a couple of corn dogs."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "Two corn dogs. You...be careful. Those things aren't toys."

"I know, I know. Jeez, you're starting to sound like Joanne," I said with a chuckle, turning to go to the B building instead of the C building. Thankfully, nobody seemed to notice me leaving.

* * *

I managed to get into the B building without a problem, thankful that the doors were so rarely locked. All of the students had left, so I didn't want to be caught sneaking around. I crept to the stairs that I recognized from the previous night, and leaned against the door.

"Ditto?" I heard behind me before I could open it. I cursed under my breath.

"Hmm?" I hummed, turning around. _Of all the people on the planet, why _her?

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I could ask the same thing, Melina."

"I...umm...I'm waiting for someone," she said, ruffling her feathers.

"So am I," I replied, turning back to the door.

"Who?" she asked, stepping closer.

"Why is it important?"

"I...I don't know...Listen...I was thinking about what you said earlier..."

_Liar_.

"...I still don't think I can forgive Lana. It's not that easy for me. She..." she took a deep breath. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'll leave Relics alone. As long as he's with Lana, I won't try anything."

_Like I'd believe you_, I thought.

"So, is that it?" I asked.

"I wanted...to thank you," she said. She may as well have punched me in the gut.

"W-what?" I asked.

"What you said. I'm not used to people talking to me like that. Especially boys. But I needed it. So thank you."

"You're welcome," I said uncertainly. To my surprise, she didn't make a move on me at all.

"That's it," she said, constantly surprising me. "You can go."

"Uh huh..." I said, stunned. I couldn't help but stare as she walked away somewhat awkwardly.

_Nice job_, my brain told me, _you've managed to crack the universe_.

I eventually got a handle on my amazement enough to go through the door and begin to climb the stairs. During the climb, I was wondering how seriously the new Melina would change the universe. _It's not like she's really a whole new person_, I thought. _She just...sees me as a real friend. That's all_. I stopped once I reached the door at the top, and nodded. _She hasn't really changed. She just knows me, so she's being honest_. Maybe I could get closer to her and change her more, and save Relics some pain.

I opened the door to the roof of the building, and smiled when I laid my eyes on the arwing again. It was positioned near the center of the roof, so it wasn't a surprise that it wasn't easily visible from the ground. The short walls around the edge of the building helped, too. And now that I saw it under the sun, with a bright gleam shining off of it, it looked much better.

I walked toward it just like I owned it, and climbed up on the side like I had the previous day. This time, I already knew how to get in, so I opened the top and got in, without closing the cockpit yet.

"Alright, let's figure this out," I said, turning on the text translator on my wrist. I looked around and saw a few things I already recognized, like the hover button, but most of the things were new. I saw targeting systems, life support, deflector shields, primary and secondary weapons, something called "all-ranges", and an alpha and delta interface, among other things. I shook my head, and turned on the internal and external power switches, before leaning back, proud that I'd done something.

"Look what we have here," I heard from the wing. I gasped and looked in that direction, assuming Melina had followed me. It wasn't her, but Melissa. "Looks like it was a good idea to follow you instead of Relics," the woman said, sitting on the wing with her legs crossed.

"When did you get there?" I asked.

"Not too long ago. And this really isn't the best hiding spot for a military vehicle."

"No kidding. Now, get off my arwing."

"_Your_ arwing?" she asked with an amused smile. "I thought you stole it from _us_."

"Yeah. Stole. Like the badass I am. Now shoo."

"Listen to you," she laughed. "You almost sound like a real man. But do you really think that you can make me leave?"

"I could just take off and leave you behind."

She shrugged. "You're free to try."

I reached up to grab the windshield, and she didn't even flinch. "I'll do it," I warned, but it was an empty threat.

"Just go already. It's been a while since I did anything like this."

"Fine," I said, shutting the glass. I lifted the craft off of the ground, since it was already in hover mode, but she still didn't budge.

"You're going to want to go that way," she said, pointing to my left. "Less radar scanners."

"Uh...thanks," I said, before hitting the hover button. The sudden acceleration seemed to affect me more than her, since I'd forgotten the G-diffuser. She hardly even leaned back, while I was pressed against my seat pretty firmly. I pulled back on the controls to slow it down, since I was still pretty concerned about her falling off.

"This is nice," she said with a smile as her hair billowed out behind her.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm in charge now?" she asked.

"You know where everything is. I just need a place to hide it."

"It won't be there when you get back anyway," she said calmly.

"Fine!" I shouted, turning around. I flew right back to the school, landed the arwing, threw open the cockpit, and stood up. She was still sitting on the craft's wing, unmoved by the flight. "You may as well take it now."

"Thanks, _handsome_," she said as I dropped to the ground. She climbed into the craft and pulled the cockpit shut. Just before she took off, I saw her blow me a kiss, and I turned away angrily.

"Dang it, I was this close, _this_ close to having my own arwing," I said, stomping toward the door. I admitted that I didn't have anywhere in mind to hide it, but I'd still wanted to keep it. At least everything could happen that night without me affecting it. It hurt to let Lana go through that without even trying to help, but I knew that even a slight nudge in the wrong direction could doom both her and Relics.

I made my way back out the B building without seeing either Melina or the person she'd supposedly been waiting for, and nobody noticed when I emerged from the building. I made my way to the C building, and found Krystal immediately. She was arguing with a cafeteria worker about something, so I rushed to help.

"You can't do that!" Krystal shouted. "That's _my_ money!"

"I don't think so," the avian said. "Yesterday, you had no money. Today, you're trying to split a hundred. I don't think your parents just gave this to you."

"No," I said, coming up beside her. "I did."

"Oh, and you want me to believe _you_ got that much money in a day? Why, because you're human?"

"You don't know what I had when I got here," I said. "Now, give the lady her change, and we'll leave you alone."

The worker growled in her throat, which I thought was odd for an avian, but she turned around and disappeared through a door without a word. I almost asked Krystal whether it'd worked, when the woman returned and handed her the change.

"Now, git!" she said, pointing toward the tables.

"Thank you," I said, smiling as graciously as I could. She only scowled in return.

"Thanks," Krystal said. "I don't know why she got so angry."

"Maybe she thinks poorly of you for dating the human?" I wondered aloud.

"I thought it wasn't a date," she said, looking at me suspiciously. I shrugged with a smirk.

"They think it was," I said, deflecting the statement. I looked around for Bill and the others, when I finally saw Fox McCloud. I'd been looking for him since I arrived, and since I didn't count sixth period, where he was distracted by Miyu, this was the first chance I'd have to talk to him. And I didn't have a clue what to say.

As we got closer to the table, Bill noticed me and waved. That made Relics and Falco wave, too, and then Fox turned toward me. His face when he noticed Krystal, though, was priceless. His jaw dropped, his eyes widened, and his ears went straight up, and I thought of Star Fox: Adventures, which pretty much mirrored his reaction. But it wasn't quite as dramatic this time; as soon as Miyu noticed his reaction, she swatted him in the back of the head. He ducked his head, embarrassed as she chastised and/or threatened him. And I wasn't holding back my laughter very well.

"What's so funny?" Krystal asked. I'd wanted to just let her read my mind to figure it out, but I couldn't figure out a way to touch her without suggesting anything.

"The orange fox is Fox," I told her, "and he thinks you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen."

Krystal ducked her head, and I saw some red underneath the blue fur on her face. I laughed again as we sat down in front of Falco and Slippy.

"You took longer than Miyu and Fox to get here," Falco observed. I decided not to fall into his trap, so I ignored his question and took the first of my two corn dogs.

"Oh!" Krystal said, reaching into her pocket. She held out a fist like she wanted to give me something, so I held out an open hand. She put her hand in mine before opening it.

"_Here's your money_."

"_Keep it_," I said. Apparently the realization that I was now rich had gone to my head. But Krystal's eyes widened.

"_Ditto, no, I can't accept this! You gave me fourteen hundred credits! That's a lot of money!_"

"_And it's all the money you have right now_," I said, dropping the chips back into her hand. I closed her fingers around them when she didn't, and smiled at her.

"What is it with you guys?" Slippy asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked before taking a bite.

"_He's more observant than Falco_," Krystal warned. After a second or two, I looked down and realized she hadn't even been touching me at the time.

"How'd you –" I began, before realizing I was speaking aloud. I looked abruptly at Slippy, who was watching us like a hawk.

"_He knows something's wrong_," she said into my mind, grasping my hand first so I didn't freak out again.

"_I screwed it up, didn't I? Sorry_."

"It's okay," Krystal said. "I didn't think I could hide it forever."

"Hide?" Falco asked. "Hide what?"

"I'm going to tell you," she said. "But you can't tell anyone else."

"Are you sure about this?" I asked. She nodded.

"What's going on?" Relics asked.

"Okay, Bill, Fox, Miyu, you'd all better listen, too. You can't tell anyone, though."

"You can't tell me what to do," Miyu said, crossing her arms.

"Please?" Krystal asked. Miyu reluctantly agreed, and all attention was finally on Krystal. "Okay. You all should know; I'm from a planet called Cerinia."

"Where's that?" Bill asked much too loudly. I shushed him.

"Compared to Corneria, I don't know. I...came here," she said, avoiding sharing anything about me, "a week before school started."

"What's this have to do with you two?" Slippy asked.

"She's getting there," I told him.

"I haven't heard of anyone here who can do it, but it's not really unusual on Cerinia."

"What?" Fox asked.

"I...can use telepathy..." she said, ducking her head like she was ashamed. The realization of what she'd said hit everyone one by one, and I had to keep both Bill and Slippy quiet. When Falco realized it, he put his hands over his ears, as though his thoughts would leak out if he wasn't careful. Miyu leaned back, apparently impressed, and Fox glanced around nervously. Relics' reaction wasn't all that different from Miyu's.

"So, why are you always touching each other?" Slippy asked.

"It works better for us through contact," I said. I didn't mention that it wasn't the norm.

"Oh!" Slippy said, before continuing his meal. He was apparently just glad he'd figured it out.

"That must be useful," Falco said suggestively. I just shook my head, upset that it'd been so long since I had a good comeback to his comments.

"Hold on," Bill said, somehow keeping his voice down, "can you even lie to her?"

"No," I said, chuckling. Bill burst into laughter at what he thought was my misfortune.

Krystal sighed contentedly. "Thanks for not freaking out, everyone."

"You can't control our brains, right?" Bill asked.

"Of course not," Krystal giggled.

"And don't start acting weird around her now, okay?" I asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Relics asked.

"I mean, don't start treating her like she's got a disease. It's not like she's always reading everyone's mind; it probably gets exhausting."

"Okay," Relics agreed. "I'll try."

"I'm not too worried about you, Relics. You're doing pretty good around Cornerians, considering you hated them a week ago."

He blanched. "I-I did not!"

"What are you worried about? It's not like they'll bite you."

"Hey, Krystal," Bill whispered, leaning forward. "Can you see if she likes me?" he asked, pointing discreetly at a Cocker Spaniel nearby. Her face was covered in mostly white fur, but her muzzle and ears were black.

"No, no, no," I said. "Krystal, you don't have to do that. Bill, it's not a party trick. She's not here just to amuse you, okay?"

"Hey, I can take care of it myself," Krystal said. "Besides, I want to tell him. She thinks he's cute, and just really wishes he would talk to her."

"What?" Bill asked, standing with his tail wagging rapidly. "Really?"

"Mmm hmm," Krystal hummed, nodding her head once. Bill smiled at her, then looked at the girl, and walked toward her abruptly.

"_Why'd you lie to him?_" I asked. We _were_ still holding hands, and somehow, I didn't find it odd. "_You have no idea what she thinks_."

"_Maybe he won't ask me to do anything like that again_."

"_Good plan. But what if _that _happens?_" I asked, nodding toward them. The black and white girl had a smile on her face, and she was writing something on a card. After Bill said something which made them both laugh, she handed him the card.

"Ho-ho-holy shit!" I laughed.

"What?" Falco asked. At that moment, Bill started back toward the table.

"Bill just got a number from some random girl."

"Not just any girl," Bill said, sitting down. "That was _Sasha_."

"And Sasha is...who?" Relics asked.

"I don't know," he admitted with a laugh. "Thanks anyway, Krystal."

"Don't thank her," I said, laughing again.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"She didn't even read Sasha's mind. You pretty much just got that note by yourself."

"No way," Bill said with a smile. He looked back at Sasha, and she noticed and waved. "Dude! I've still got it!"

"Bullshit," Falco said, frustrated. "Krystal, is there anyone in here who likes _me_?"

"Leave her alone," I warned.

"I'm not asking _you_," he said.

"I'm not going to answer that," Krystal said.

"Oh, come on, don't just leave me hanging," Falco said.

"Why not try Katt?" I asked. He looked at me suspiciously.

"What is it with you and her?" he asked.

"I...have a feeling that she would like you," I said. Krystal snickered.

"Uh huh...then what's so funny?"

"Let's just say I know even better than Krystal does."

"What? Are you psychic too?" he asked.

"Telepathic," Krystal corrected. He waved her off.

"No, I'm not psychic _or_ telepathic. I just...know things."

"Like what?" Falco challenged.

"I know you'd be great in an arwing," I said, hoping it wasn't giving away too much information.

"You think so?" he asked, looking up in thought.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Well, I heard those things can be hard to fly."

I looked at Krystal knowingly. "Maybe if you're in a dogfight," I admitted. "Didn't something happen last night with an arwing or something?"

"Aww, yeah!" Bill said. "You heard about that, too! Do you know what happened?"

"Not much," I lied. "Some jerk took a military vehicle from an abandoned base last night."

"Well, you should hear some of the rumors. I heard it was just the first strike of a secret rebellion against Corneria."

"What?" I asked.

"Yeah. Someone else said it was one of those human S.W.A.T. teams, busted in and gunned down anyone who stood in their way to get a prototype arwing. Or it was a secret mission, and someone just took it because they had to get away."

"And what do _you_ think happened?" Krystal asked.

"I dunno. Maybe it was a ninja."

"Ninjas?" I asked.

"How do you know I didn't take it?" Falco asked. Bill stared at him for a second before laughing. "Hey, I could've!"

"You couldn't get the thing off the ground," Fox said.

"You don't know that," Falco said. "Ditto here thinks I could do it."

"With training," I agreed.

The bell rang just as Falco started to say something else, and once he realized he was being drowned out, he stopped talking for a second. When it finally stopped, and everyone was getting ready to go, he turned to Fox again.

"I'll bet I could beat you in a simulator," he taunted.

"You're on," Fox agreed. "My dad might let us use the one on the Great Fox."

"Tonight?" Falco asked.

"No!" I shouted suddenly. They looked at me uncertainly. "I mean...tonight's a school night. You'll want to get to bed early, right?"

"Yeah, okay, mom," Falco said sarcastically.

"Well, maybe I want to come, too," I said. "But I'm busy tonight."

"Busy with what?" Fox asked.

"I...uh..." I began. I had no idea what to say.

"We were going to hang out with Eli tonight," Krystal said, coming to my rescue yet again.

"Alright, fine," Fox said. He pointed a finger at Falco and said, "Friday."

"Be ready to lose," Falco said smugly before heading out to his next class.

"How many times are you going to come to my rescue?" I whispered to Krystal.

"How many times will you need it?" she asked. "And why didn't you want them to go do that tonight?"

"Oh, right; I never told you. Something...big happens tonight. I don't want you to worry, but we can't be anywhere near the school when it happens. And Fox, Relics, Fara, and Lana all have to be unoccupied."

"What happens?" she asked.

"I guess I'll tell you _tonight_," I told her, taking the empty disposable tray from the table and throwing it in a trash can nearby.

"That you will," she replied, walking beside me to third period. Apparently, she trusted me enough to not read my mind, and that brightened my mood. _Melina's a friend, Melissa didn't kill me, I'm suddenly rich, and Krystal trusts me. Not a bad day, considering it's only half over_.

* * *

**A/N:** Whew. It's done. And since this is my THIRD try at uploading this chapter, we'll hope it works. As a note, I feel I should apologize to a few people. For one thing, I couldn't make Ditto keep the arwing; even if he had hidden it, Melissa would take it and leave him stranded without a way back to school. And another thing, sorry to the Melina-haters. I love twisting a story in such a way as to make the "bad guys" seem less evil and more selfish.

I'm almost surprised I managed to keep the distinction between the avian Melina and the sultry Melissa. Their names are pretty close, after all.

Also, note to Comrade: Yeah, Melissa was following them that whole time. Apparently she decided to follow Ditto/George for a bit, and it paid off for her. But that means Ditto may never see that specific arwing again.


	16. Chapter 16: Battles

**Disclaimer:** Really? If this is the first time you're reading a part of this story, I'd recommend you read what comes before this chapter. Regardless, I don't own diddly.

I feel like I should thank Comrade. I find myself looking forward to his input, and I still wonder why he doesn't just make an account. Also, I have no idea what "canary" you're talking about. Maybe Sani made Melina so easily hate-able that you had to make a completely different Melina in your mind, so she's not a bitch?

* * *

Near the end of that day, I found myself running once again for sixth period. Of course, I wasn't late, but after remembering what Mr. Fritz had in store for the tardy students, I decided being late was not what I wanted. Conveniently, I ended up being one of the first ones there again. I went right inside, and Mr. Fritz calmly told me to grab a paintball gun and stand along a short line of people. I did what he asked quickly, surprised that he was even capable of being calm.

I did like the feel of the gun in my arms. I mean, it was just a paintball gun, but I at least knew enough about the weapons to know that this one was all set up and ready to fire. I shook it slightly near my ear, and heard the quiet shaking of a canister nearly stuffed full of paintballs. I smiled and nodded, letting myself get excited for the game that would start soon.

I looked around after a few seconds, and noticed I was standing right next to Katherine. Nothing but boredom showed on her scaly face, and I wondered why she didn't seem to enjoy anything.

"Hi," I said. Apparently Mr. Fritz didn't mind me talking.

She glanced my way for a second before saying, "What is it with you?"

"I'm just trying to be friendly," I said with a smile. She rolled her eyes and shifted her weight, pointedly ignoring me.

"What's goin' on, Captain Fritz?" Bill asked.

"Take a gun and line up," the leopard said.

"Yes, sir!" Bill said excitedly. After grabbing his weapon, he stood next to me with his tail wagging happily.

"I take it you're excited?" I asked.

"Fuck yeah!" he shouted. I almost asked him to tone down the profanity, but he continued before I could make up my mind. "This is the only class I looked forward to all summer."

"Unless you get your butt kicked," I said with a smirk.

"Yeah, right. By who, you?" he asked smugly.

_Actually, by Fox_, I thought with a snicker.

"Take a gun and line up," Mr. Fritz said again. I looked toward the door and saw Falco and Slippy entering.

"What were you two doing together?" Bill asked. "Don't you have classes on opposite sides of the building or something?"

"I had to save Slip from a couple of bullies again," Falco said, pointing at the frog with a thumb.

"Thanks again, Falco," Slippy said, ducking his head.

"Why not just defend yourself?" I asked.

"Slippy? Defend himself?" Bill asked, before laughing.

"Well, then build something to make people leave you alone. It's not against the law to taze people, right?"

"Taze?" Slippy asked.

"I figured you'd know that word," I said under my breath. "Electrocute."

"I don't know if it's against the law, but how would I even do that?"

"Slippy, if anyone can build a high-tech weapon, it's you."

"Why do you keep saying stuff like that?" Falco asked. "First you say I'd be good in an arwing, and then you say Slippy's gonna be good with his hands."

"Actually, I said Slippy _can_."

"But he can't," Bill said. "He's got the brain, but he can hardly hold a screwdriver."

"That's not true," Slippy protested. "I've built things before."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well, I've taken apart a blaster and turned it into a laser pointer," he said, making Bill and Falco laugh.

"Isn't it supposed to go the other way around?" I asked. "It'd be cooler to turn a laser pointer into a blaster. Or a shoop-da-whoop."

"A what-da-what?" Katherine asked.

"It's a clip making fun of...wait, you were listening?" I asked.

"No," she said, turning away again. The tip of her tail flicked the back of my leg, but she didn't seem to notice.

"I haven't tried to make any weapons," Slippy said.

"Hey, next time you have free time, do me a favor," I said. "If you can make me a hoverboard, I'll do whatever you want."

"A hoverboard?" Slippy asked.

"What? It's been seven hundred years, and you don't have hoverboards?" I asked.

"Seven hundred years?" Falco asked. "Seven hundred years since what?"

The minute bell rang once he had finished speaking, and I was desperately searching for an excuse for my stupid mistake. _If only Krystal were here_, I thought.

"Since...uh...they started trying to make them..." I said, hoping that I was right. I doubted if anyone had tried to make hoverboards in the nineteen-hundreds. Falco still looked at me suspiciously.

"Well, why would I make you one?" Slippy asked. "Why don't you just go buy one?"

"They _do_ have them?" I asked.

"Of course."

"Sweet," I said, smiling. I didn't even know how to ride skateboards, but since I was rich anyway, I realized that I definitely wanted a hoverboard. I actually started to daydream about getting one. Of course, it'd take me a while to actually get good at using it, but I was confident.

I heard a commotion in the hallway, and leaned forward to try to see, but Mr. Fritz was standing in the way.

"Fox!" he shouted, making most of the students in line jump. "If you're done making out with your _boyfriend_, line up!"

_There goes the calm Fritz_, I thought as Fox and Relics scrambled into the classroom. Relics was trying to avoid the leopard's gaze by looking down, so he didn't immediately notice that everyone was holding a gun. When he did notice, he froze in fear. He spun around to leave, but Fritz closed the door before he could move.

"Something wrong, Snowflake?" he asked.

"S-sir...I...I think I forgot something in my last class, sir," Relics stammered.

"Then get it after class. Now fall in beside Hollywood."

_Hollywood?_ I thought comically. _What's this guy gonna call me?_

Relics walked toward the line, with the look of someone who was about to get gunned down. I'd have tried to get his attention and calm him down, if Captain Fritz didn't scare the sarcasm right out of me. But I wasn't the only one who noticed his stiff gait or his cold sweat.

"Relics? Are you alright?" Fox asked.

"He's fine!" Mr. Fritz shouted. "Now keep your damned muzzle shut or you'll be scrubbing the entire paintball course with a toothbrush by yourself, top to bottom!"

Once the word "paintball" left Fritz's mouth, something apparently dawned on Relics. He looked around at the other students and their weapons again, and sighed his relief. Mr. Fritz started to explain the rules of the course, for the new guys (like me), but Relics was lost in thought. What the teacher was going over was pretty simple stuff; if you get shot, leave _with_ your gun and ammo. No punching, kicking, biting, or other such things, and try not to aim for the face. I blanched when he said that, and looked around desperately for the protection I'd assumed he would give us. I didn't see any.

"Since we have two lovebirds who'd rather be in the hallways making out than in class, we're only going to have two teams today. Hollywood! Snowflake! Step forward," Mr. Fritz called. Fox stepped forward with a stony expression, and Relics slowly followed. If he had a tail, it'd be tucked tightly between his legs. "You two are team one," he said, handing them two guns with much smaller ammo cartridges than the others. "Everyone else is team two."

"Hell yeah," I said under my breath, pumping my fist as subtly as I could. Maybe it was wrong to want to shoot both of the main characters of their respective stories, but I still decided it'd be fun. That is, unless I got shot in the eye. I glanced at Katherine, suddenly wishing I had her scales for protection.

"Maybe next time you'll actually listen to me and show up on time," Mr. Fritz said. "Now get moving; you've got sixty seconds."

Relics and Fox looked at each other in surprise, before taking off into the ruined cityscape as fast as their legs would carry them. _I bet a hoverboard would help them right now_, I thought as they took cover right in the center of the arena.

"Are we gonna make a plan?" I asked as we waited for the order to get moving.

"Why?" Bill asked. "We've got them outnumbered and outgunned. Why should we do anything other than just rush in?"

"Yeah," Falco agreed, "It shouldn't even take us a couple of minutes to take them out."

_And that's why you two get shot first_, I thought.

"What did you have in mind?" Miyu asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I just thought it'd be a good idea to have a plan."

"If you don't have anything to suggest, keep quiet," she said.

"Thirty seconds," Fritz said.

"Okay," I began, before I noticed Mr. Fritz watching me closely. "What if we just surround them?"

"Duh," Falco said.

"No, hear me out. There are, what, twenty-three of us? If fifteen surrounded the building, five laid out suppressive fire, and the last few went in toward them, it wouldn't even take us a couple of minutes."

"Why surround the building?" Bill asked. "You can't even see inside from behind it."

"It keeps them from sneaking away," Miyu said. "Not like we couldn't have figured that plan out on-the-fly."

"Alright," I said, accepting her subtle challenge to improve the plan. I looked closely at the fake buildings, and noticed quite a few dilapidated second floors. "There," I said, pointing to one building that would give a perfect look into the hole the two were peeking out of. "If someone went up there, we could keep them behind cover without wasting all of our ammo."

"Ten seconds," Fritz warned.

"Thanks for volunteering for that," Miyu said, slapping me on the back.

"What? Why me?" I asked.

"You suggested it."

I looked around for a better candidate, but I didn't really find one. I'd had Falco in mind, but then I realized that he was only really known for flying. Slippy probably couldn't even hold the gun straight. And Bill...I wasn't sure about his strengths, but he was waiting like a runner on the starting line, so I assumed he didn't want to listen to reason.

"Get moving!" Mr. Fritz shouted. Everyone else, including Miyu, dashed straight for the course, while I shoved my paintball gun down the back of my jacket and ran for the building I'd picked out. I stood staring at the wall on its side, planning how to climb up it. Of course, there were probably stairs inside, but I wanted to feel like a badass. So I climbed up the side of the building. After trying to run up the wall, during which I only took one step upwards, I barely managed to grab a horizontal pipe.

"Dang," I said, looking both ways. The ledge was well out of reach, and the pipe was pretty much solitary. I did notice that it curved upward to my right, so I tried to sidle toward the bend.

"Hey, check out Ditto," Bill shouted. A moment later, I heard two dull thuds, and he cried out in pain. I couldn't keep myself from laughing. I got to the vertical pipe and wrapped my hands around it, swinging side to side as I slowly crawled up the first few feet. Once I got my foot on the horizontal part, I braced my feet against the building and continued upward, until I reached the ledge, where I pulled myself up.

"That was fun," I panted, laying on my stomach. I remembered that a small battle was playing out below, though, and moved to the short wall overlooking the street. Falco, Miyu, and Slippy were hiding behind walls and fake cars in the street. Katherine was near the back, firing sparingly at the building. Bill was walking away from the scene, still upset. Once I freed my weapon from my jacket, I aimed it at the building Fox and Relics were hiding in, and ducked closer to the wall to make a smaller target.

Fox peeked out before firing, and managed to tag Falco just as he tried to make it to different cover. I aimed and pulled the trigger, firing a paintball with a dull puff of gas that hit the ground in front of the building.

"Yeah, make me the marksman," I said under my breath, trying to adjust my aim. Relics peeked out, and I fired again, barely missing his forehead. He spotted me, and I heard him shout something to Fox, but no paintballs flew my way. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that someone was starting forward, and Fox peeked out again. I smiled and shot a trio of shots his way, which all missed, but made him duck back behind cover without taking a shot.

"Advance now," I whispered as I fired a shot each second. My timing was exploited when, just after I fired, Fox and Relics both leaned out. As soon as they leaned out, I shot thrice, but I ducked immediately after that so their four shots would miss me.

"Shit!" Fox shouted. I silently cheered and leaned up, but I had only hit his rifle.

"Lucky fox," I said, resuming my torrent of paint. I tried to mix my timing up this time, which apparently made them nervous enough to peek less and less. I saw Miyu finally reach their little base, and I stopped shooting.

"That's game," I said standing up with a smug grin. Once my shooting had stopped, Fox leaned out and aimed right at me. But something apparently distracted him before he could fire, and I saw a few colorful blurs shoot across the room at him. Miyu stepped into my view confidently, smiling and taking to Fox. After a few seconds, she looked toward me and waved. I waved back, and turned around to look for a way down.

* * *

"You're an ass," Relics told me once we got out of the class.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with a laugh.

"You didn't even give us a chance to fire," he said.

"I'm not supposed to."

"Well, you could've at least stayed on the ground. They didn't need a sniper helping them."

"Yeah, I could've," I admitted. "But then Mr. Fritz wouldn't have congratulated me."

"I still don't know how you pulled that," he said.

"I made everyone make a plan beforehand. Apparently he agreed with that course of action. But it's probably mostly because I haven't been late to his class yet."

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "Kiss-ass."

"Hey, don't get mad at me because –" I began.

"Ditto!" someone shouted. I turned toward the voice, and saw Eli jogging toward me.

"Yeah?" I asked. Relics said goodbye, so I waved before turning back to Eli.

"I just wanted to say 'what's up?'"

"Oh. Not much, actually. I played the part of marksman last period, and I dominated," I exaggerated.

"Paintball?" he asked. I nodded. "We had to play that, too. I showed everyone else what's what."

"Does that mean you lost in the first two minutes?" I asked.

"No!" he shouted. I snickered.

"You didn't shoot Krystal, right?" I asked.

"I couldn't," he said. _That's Krystal_, I thought, imagining her in a game of paintball. Eli continued, "She didn't show up today."

I felt my heart start to beat faster, and I fought down the panic that was rising in my throat. _She didn't get taken. Lana did. Just figure out where she is_.

"Do you know where she is?" I asked.

"No," Eli said. "She said she was gonna walk with Lana for some reason, so I ran ahead. I guess she ditched."

"Yeah," I said, not really paying attention anymore. Knowing Krystal, she'd been taken trying to help Lana. _Damn_.

"You okay, man?" Eli asked. I forced myself to relax, and turned to him.

"Yeah. Hey, I've got to go home real quick."

"Didn't you say we were going to hang with Krystal tonight?" he asked.

"I guess that's off," I told him, before starting to jog.

_This son of a bitch thinks he can hurt Krystal, too_, I thought. _I guess I'm about to see what that APIR can do_. I ran straight out to the front of the school, ignoring people and questions as I dashed through the halls. Once I got there, I saw Joanne's car, and walked toward it.

"You want a ride tonight?" she asked.

"We going straight home?" I asked, opening the rear door.

"No, we have to go to the store first," she said, and I closed the door again. "Is something wrong?"

"No," I lied, shutting the door again, "I just need to get home right away."

"Okay," she said as I started running. "Be safe!"

* * *

The house was only about five blocks from the school, so I made it back before Joanne did. I barged right through the front door without hesitating, hoping nobody would ask any questions.

"Jake?" I called. Nobody answered. I shook my head and headed for the garage, where I assumed he'd hide the gun. Inside, I found plenty of boxes, along with a second car. But when I didn't see anything that looked like a good hiding place, I ran back into the house.

_His closet_, I thought, before dashing for the stairs. Constantly breathing heavily, I entered the biggest room on the second floor, and looked around. There were two nightstands, a huge bed, and a big T.V. sitting on top of a dresser opposite the bed. But there was a hallway in the room, and I walked into it. Sliding doors sat on both sides, and I looked in the right one first. After seeing a dress, I closed it again and looked in the second one. With a glance up, I saw boxes stacked above the hanging clothes.

I grabbed the leftmost box and looked behind it, then through it. _Nothing_, I thought, before moving to the second one. Before I'd moved it, I heard someone clear their throat, and froze. I sheepishly looked toward the sound, and saw Jake there, with his arms folded.

"What are you looking for?" he asked.

"I need the gun," I said quickly.

"You gonna tell me why?" he asked.

"I would, but he said to come alone."

"I'm sure he didn't say to bring a high-powered weapon, either."

"These guys aren't friends," I said. "If I go unarmed, I won't be coming back."

"What have you gotten yourself into?"

"They took her," I said, looking down. "I couldn't even keep her safe."

"Who? The same guys as before?"

"No. Some jerk named Wolf."

"Wolf O'Donnell?" he asked. I nodded. He sighed.

"I sure wish I could stop you," he said, "but you look like you've made up your mind."

"I'll be coming back tonight," I promised.

"I feel like I'm sending you to your death," he said.

"I won't be in that much danger," I lied.

"Well, either way, I've got something for you," he said, leaning into his closet. I stepped aside. After rummaging around in the boxes up top for a bit, he pulled something out and turned to me soberly.

"This was a gift from an old friend of mine," he said, before dropping a small hexagonal device in my hand. It had a glowing blue dot in its center, and I started to turn it over, inspecting it. On its back were a small handle and a clip. "I was in the military once, before I met Joanne. She made absolutely sure I got out as soon as I could, to keep me safe. Anyway, I want you to use it for tonight."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a deflector," he said, and I nodded, looking at it with new wonder. "If you want, I can show you how to use it."

"Will it take long?" I asked.

"Not more than half an hour, probably. Let's go; we don't have too long before Joanne comes back."

* * *

**A/N**: No, Krystal wasn't in sixth period. Yes, Ditto is going to the school to look for her. But did she really get kidnapped? And if she did, will Ditto succeed, since he's going in much earlier than Relics is? Will Ditto be able to keep his focus on Krystal, or will honor demand that he rescues both ladies by himself? And if Krystal isn't at the school at all, will Ditto still rescue Lana? Boy, I left too many questions open. Oh, well.

This part was an odd conundrum; while writing it, I was sure I was botching it, meaning I would have to come back and edit it to make it passable. But when I reread it, I didn't see much worth changing.

If you infer a little bit, Falco probably knows something's off with Ditto. The excuses Ditto gave him weren't perfect by any means, and I did that on purpose. What's going to come of that? We'll see. I guess.

I ought to mention again, I know nothing about Castlevania. Maybe I should play it before making all these references to it, but I'm pretty sure you have a sword in that game. And something about Dracula. That's it.

Oh, and Ditto's got a shiny new deflector, a still-untested gun, and he'll be trying to buy a hoverboard. He also flew an arwing, got _complimented_ by Captain Fritz, and can apparently climb up the sides of buildings fairly well. I would be impressed, if he hadn't been a fairy at one point. (I fully intend to write a fanfic explaining that story, by the way.)

EDIT: I changed chapter 13, so that Ditto really tells Melina off. I think it adds some depth to their second meeting, but that's just me. And a note to Comrade's review, Sani does mention a sniper, but that's not on the second day. He's fighting WITH Falco and Bill, remember?


	17. Chapter 17: Déjà vu

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything but Ditto. In fact, if you really want to use Ditto in something, feel free to. I only do this for fun, lulz, and to take over the world.

Updates two days in a row?! Well, to be fair, the wait for the next part may be a little longer. You'll see why soon enough.

Okay, I assumed that the deflector (as seen in Smash Bros) is capable of both deflecting _and_ the ghost dash (or whatever it's called). I could be wrong, but it makes for a better story.

And Comrade, in case you didn't see the edit last chapter, the sniper in Sani's story doesn't show up on day 2. Remember, Relics is going against that sniper with both Falco and Bill helping him. And he only has a knife. (If Ditto's in that situation, he'll SO TOTALLY grab the wrist-blade.)

* * *

I sat in silence in the passenger seat of Jake's car as he drove me back to the school. As I practiced using the deflector, he had gotten me to open up more about what had happened. I'd had to lie to him, though, or else he would've found out the whole truth. I just told him someone had texted me, and I'd accidentally deleted the text. But I wasn't sure he'd completely believed me.

Even so, he'd decided to drive me close to the school, before giving me both my gun and the deflector to use. He also used my translator to set up a panic button; I could call him on a moment's notice, and nothing short of the device's destruction could shut off its location transmitter until Jake got there.

The deflector itself was very cool. Its clip was magnetic and detachable; when I took it off and pushed the main button, it would open up a hexagonal shield that could apparently reflect anything from swords to lasers to bombs, as long as the force didn't exceed a certain amount. And if the clip was attached when I pressed the button, it enveloped me in a skin-tight field of energy, so I could move almost too fast to see. I thought that it lasted for a few seconds each time, but to everyone else, it only lasted an instant. I assumed it worked just like in the Smash Bros. games, but since I hadn't been put into any of those, I could only guess. He didn't mention whether it had a boomerang function like Falco used in the game, which admittedly upset me. I clipped it to my right hip, so it would always be within reach.

What concerned me was the fact that he'd never seen or heard of the type of gun I was holding before. He remarked on how similar it was to some old-fashioned human weapons, but he was also certain that it wasn't in common use anywhere he'd been before. It made sense to me; Sharp probably wouldn't be using any ordinary rifle. Back at the house, I'd shaken the gun and heard what sounded like little metal BB's in the ammo cartridge, which was slotted on the top of the gun. My angry outburst was overshadowed by my own awe, though, when I shot a three inch-wide hole in the brick wall behind Jake's house without any sort of report from the gun itself. He made me agree not to mention the hole to Joanne. I also noticed, for the first time, that the gun had a switch that was set to "stealth mode", but I didn't get to test "assault mode".

"Hello?" he asked, snapping his fingers in front of my face a few times. I shook myself and sat up straight, looking around. "We're here."

"Huh?" I asked. "This isn't the school."

"No, it isn't," he said, nodding slowly. "But you said these guys told you to come alone."

"Yeah," I agreed, reaching for the door. _They also won't tell _me _to come, and they won't even tell Relics for a few hours_, I thought. "Thanks for everything you're doing."

"I'm not doing it for no reason. I know you've got something to tell me."

I lowered my head. "I..." I tried, looking toward him. He wasn't angry or disappointed, but he looked sincere. It had actually taken me that long to realize that he was trustworthy. "Tonight," I said, nodding. He nodded back. For a few seconds, neither of us said anything.

"You'd better get going," he said quietly. I opened the door and stepped out of the car, but I didn't feel right just walking away. He apparently didn't just want to leave me alone, though, when he turned off the car and just sat there.

"Suddenly I wish I was the guy Eli thinks I am," I muttered, turning toward the school. I didn't have skills, I didn't have experience. I mean, sure, I'd been Navi and the guy from Castlevania (I still hardly knew anything about the game, even after living it repeatedly), but I hadn't been in any FPS games yet. I would just have to hope that the deflector and APIR would be enough to keep me safe while I saved Krystal. But perhaps the biggest fear I had was that everything was changing; I didn't know how long my limited knowledge would be able to help me if I kept changing the story.

Jake had only parked a block from the school, so I was there almost before I knew it. I glanced around the front, and noticed nobody at all. _Still a couple hours before anything goes down_, I remembered. Still, I didn't really feel safe, and I had no idea where to wait, so I rushed around the side of the A building. I crept slowly to the corner, and leaned out to look around.

"Hey, Ditto!" someone called behind me. I flinched and looked toward the voice.

"Damn it, Falco," I said, looking back around the corner.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, walking toward me. "And why are you stalking around here?" I turned toward him, revealing the APIR, and he stepped back in surprise. "Holy shit!"

"Keep it down," I said, before looking around the corner again. I didn't see a single person.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm looking for someone, Falco. Now leave."

"Ditto, why'd you bring a gun to school?"

"What's it matter to you? Why are you even here?"

"Lost my phone in fourth period. But seriously, what's going on?"

"There are still staff here?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Yeah. Janitors stay 'till, like, six."

"Oh," I said, before moving toward the B building. Falco grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

"You're gonna tell me what's up," he said.

"And if I don't?" I asked.

"Maybe I'll keep you here myself."

Rather than ditching him, which I could easily do with the deflector, I sighed and decided to test the waters. "How much can I trust you?" I asked.

"I'm always there for my friends."

I was a little surprised that he considered me a friend, but I wasn't quite satisfied. "You can't tell anyone. Not Fox, not Relics, not Katt."

"I can't...Ditto, you're in some deep shit, aren't you?"

"What tipped you off first?" I asked.

"Seriously, what's going on?"

"You won't tell anyone?"

"Of course not," he said, annoyed. "Now tell me already!"

"Fine! Some thugs took Krystal, okay?"

"What?" he asked. He looked around angrily. "Where are they?"

"Apparently not here yet," I said.

"Yet?" he asked.

"Oh, we don't have time for this! Look, you want to know the truth – the whole truth – then help me find her."

He took a step back, and then looked down in thought. During that time, I took another glance around. No matter how hard I looked, though, I still couldn't see a single person.

"I think you been lyin' to us. I'll come with you for now, but it's just to hear the truth."

"That's good enough."

"So, where do you think they'd be?" he asked. I shrugged.

"They wouldn't take them away from the school, because that'd be wasting effort. But the A building, where they'll be soon, is still full of people, and the B building was full just an hour ago. I'd bet my left arm they're in or near the C building."

"Then let's get moving," Falco said, running ahead of me. At least he was smart enough not to run straight toward the building, taking a less visible detour around the B building. I followed, wondering why he wasn't concerned about being unarmed.

"I don't suppose you have a plan," I said.

"You're the one who's armed to the teeth," he countered.

"Of course. Well, first thing's first; find the girls without getting spotted."

"Girls?" he asked. "More than one?"

"Yes," I said. He looked back at me questioningly, but I ignored him.

"Well...the cafeteria's got a sunroof..."

"Perfect," I said as we came around the corner and headed for the back of the C building. I was already starting to pant. By the time we got there, we still hadn't seen anyone, so I was starting to wonder if I'd been wrong.

"Up there," Falco said, pointing to an access ladder on the back of the building. A cylindrical gating circled the entire ladder past about ten feet off of the ground, and a metal door blocked the base of the ladder. "Shoot, it's locked. Lemme see that gun of yours."

"You're not going to shoot the lock," I told him.

"Well, then how do we open the door?"

"We're in high school," I said with a smirk, flipping the gun onto my back. "Locks mean nothing." Pulling the same trick I had in sixth period, I ran a step up the wall and grabbed the safety fence around the ladder. It only took me a few seconds to grab the ladder itself and haul myself up into the fence.

"You coming?" I asked as I climbed.

"Show off," he said. I heard a few clangs, but no curses, so I looked down to notice Falco climbing up after me, on the outside of the fence. I laughed at his tactic, and somewhat wished I'd thought of it first. I made it to the top of the shortest building in the school quickly, and I grabbed the gun off of my back before creeping toward the glass dome. Falco made it up a few seconds after me.

"What do you see?" he asked, before taking a look for himself. I saw at least a dozen people, not much older than me, walking or sitting around idly. Most of them had a weapon of some sort. I could only name a few; Panther was looking out the front door cautiously, and Leon was sitting aloof from everyone else. I spotted Wolf, with a bandage on his face, and felt my lip curl up in anger. I brought up the gun and aimed, when Falco shook my shoulder slightly.

"There they are," he said, pointing. I followed his hand and saw them both. Krystal and Lana were lying on a lunch table toward the back of the cafeteria, unconscious. Just seeing her like that, I felt my hands clenching in rage, and I took an abrupt step toward the ladder.

"Where are you going?" Falco asked, grabbing my arm.

"To help," I said simply, pulling my arm free.

"Ditto, don't be stupid! They'll tear you apart!"

"I won't just sit here and do nothing!" I shouted. The gun in my hands had an untested assault mode, and for all I knew, it would be more than enough to send the people below running.

"Just keep your head. Believe me; I want these bastards to pay just as much as you do. But we can't just go down there without a plan."

"Falco, if they...I swear, if they hurt Krystal..."

"Then I'll just let Miyu have 'em," he said with a chuckle. I would normally have found it funny, but I was clenching my free hand into a fist hard enough to make my fingernails dig into my palm painfully, so I only hoped that she would find them and do her worst.

"They'll be lucky if there's anything left for her to mutilate," I said darkly.

"You...wouldn't just kill them, would you?" he asked. "I mean, sure, if they shot at you first, but..."

"They'd kill me if they got the chance. I don't think I'll feel remorse for removing these bastards from the planet."

"Ditto, you're not thinking straight," he warned.

"Maybe," I said, letting my hands fall to my sides. If Relics didn't need to rescue Lana, I wouldn't have hesitated. But as I thought of the need to protect the storyline, I thought of the marks on my wrist. _It would only take one_, I thought. But after a full minute of thought, I shook my head. _It's probably a good idea, but I only have two more before I'm at four. I know she'll be safe for a while longer, so at the very least, I'll wait_.

* * *

I waited the next couple of hours unmoving, watching anyone who dared to approach Krystal closely. I tried to stay out of sight, in case anyone looked up, but if I didn't make sure the girls were safe, I felt unusually nervous. Falco wasn't exactly nervous, but he was pacing the length of the roof, either in thought or in anticipation. The sun was slowly going down, but I hardly noticed in my apprehension. After what seemed like an eternity, Wolf himself held up his blaster and called something out, making everyone else rise and make their way to the front doors. One person went back for Lana, while Leon approached Wolf.

"We need to get down there," I said, moving quickly to the ladder. Falco didn't object for once, and we went to the ground without a word. I crept carefully to the front corner of the building, and leaned out just as Wolf, Leon, and the avian carrying Lana exited.

"So...what were...to ask?" I heard Wolf asking faintly.

"I was thinking about the blue one," Leon said, a little louder.

"You can't kill her!" Wolf growled, grabbing Leon by his shirt and lifting him off of the ground. "We need her to make it look like an accident."

"I didn't want to kill her," Leon said, which made Wolf put him down. Leon rubbed his throat. "I just wanted...a few minutes."

I felt my anger returning, and barely managed to stop myself before challenging the pair. Wolf appeared to think it over for a little bit.

"She'll be dead soon anyway..." Wolf began.

"It seems like such a waste. Such beauty..."

"Fine. You've got thirty minutes."

"Son of a..." I began under my breath. Wolf followed the rest of his small army to the A building, while Leon cackled to himself and reentered the C building.

"Looks like we got lucky," Falco whispered. "We went from twenty to one."

"If he touches her," I began.

"I know, I know, 'fire and brimstone'," he said. Before everyone had even entered the A building, I sprinted for the doors.

"Hold on," Falco whispered loudly, "we have the element of surprise."

"He's a goddamned chameleon. He's always got the element of surprise," I said, looking in the door. The lizard was just walking around her, inspecting her like some kind of feast. But I did at least take Falco's advice, and only opened the door slightly when he was turned away. He followed me after a few seconds, and we ducked behind a table, hopefully out of sight.

"What's he doing?" Falco asked.

"I'm fairly certain he's going to rape her if we don't do something."

"Then let's go," he said, sneaking toward Leon. I followed, watching the reptile closely. He still wasn't approaching her, but he had a twisted smile on his face. Before we got half of the way, he stopped circling her, and took a slow step toward her.

I managed not to let out a battle cry, but I did hit the button on the deflector before sprinting toward him. A half-second delay occurred when I hit the button, but after that, a clear curtain of white was put over everything as it took effect. I still didn't manage to reach him before the whiteness disappeared with a loud high-pitched ringing, so I hit the button again. Leon heard the ringing, and spun toward me with his gun drawn. But the deflector took effect again, and I made it to him, punching him right in the face before he could react. His head didn't snap back until the deflector stopped, but when it did, he flew back much farther than I thought he would. Before he could get to his feet, I was aiming the gun at his face.

"Don't touch her," I said. He pushed himself up on his elbows and shook his head, before abruptly grabbing his blaster and firing at me. His first shot barely missed my left ear, and I flinched, grabbing the deflector and holding it in front of me. Another shot rang out, I hit the button, and the bluish shield appeared, deflecting Leon's shot back at him. It hit the high-tech gun and apparently shorted it out, because Leon cursed and discarded it like it was suddenly too hot to touch. He finally crawled to his feet, and watched me carefully as Falco showed up behind me.

"Who are you?" he asked with his scratchy voice.

"We've got the gun. We ask the questions," Falco said, before making sure Krystal was alright.

"Ke he," he cackled. "But you can't pull the trigger. You've never killed a man, have you?"

I saw him begin to turn invisible, from either a special device or a natural ability, so I aimed down and fired. I heard a loud shout in pain, and Leon reappeared, clutching his injured leg. He still had two feet, so I must've just grazed his leg.

"No," I admitted as he rolled around in pain. "But I don't mind crippling you."

"She's okay," Falco said. I sighed in relief, but didn't take my eye off of Leon.

"You can't stop Wolf by yourselves," Leon said.

"If I wanted to, Wolf wouldn't stand a chance."

"_If_ you wanted to?" Falco asked. "Aren't we going after Lana?"

"We can't," I told him. He bristled.

"How can you say that?"

"Falco, do you trust me or not?"

"Trust?! What's this have to do with trust? You got so scared when something happened to _your_ girlfriend, but what about Relics? You don't think he wants Lana safe too?"

"She is safe."

"Safe?" Falco scoffed. "Why don't you tell Wolf that? Or maybe we should've left Krystal, too."

I turned toward him abruptly. "Don't you dare go there."

"See? You selfish asshole! You don't give a shit about Relics, or Lana, or anyone! You just care about yourself, and your nice little piece of ass!"

"Don't you fucking dare say that!" I shouted, aiming the gun at him to shut him up. His feathers immediately smoothed themselves, and he leaned back in surprise.

"What are you gonna do? Shoot me?" he asked. I hesitated, then lowered the gun.

"Of course not," I growled through clenched teeth. I turned back toward Leon, glad that he was still in too much pain to make more trouble. "But don't you ever call her that again."

"Then what are we going to do?" he asked. I knew what he meant; he expected me to rescue Lana myself. But Relics, who turned out to be a total beast, had trouble when he had Fara, Fox, Miyu, Falco, Slippy, and Bill all helping him. The APIR and deflector were the only things that made me able to help Krystal, and I wasn't sure I could really rescue Lana. And even if I could, the number of casualties would be higher than zero, which could seriously affect the storyline.

"First, we take care of him," I said, gesturing toward Leon with the gun.

"How?"

"I-I won't make any trouble!" Leon pleaded.

"Yeah, right. And maybe Wolf will become a dancer. Well, Falco, do you know how to knock people out?" I asked. Leon's eyes widened, and he started to drag himself away.

"What do you mean? Just hit him in the head."

"Well, I hadn't wanted to just whack him in the head until he stops moving," I explained.

"Then I'll do it," Falco said, moving toward him. I chuckled and ignored Leon's panicked shouts as I went over to see Krystal for myself. Falco hadn't lied; she looked fine. Her face wasn't bruised, I couldn't see anything clearly broken, and she didn't seem to be bleeding. She still had all of her clothes on, which is a large part of the reason Leon was still alive. I ignored the dull thuds from nearby as I moved my arms under her still form and lifted her off of the table. She was much lighter than I expected, and when I first lifted her, she let out a soft whine.

"It's okay," I whispered. "You're safe now."

"_Ditto?_" she asked silently. Whatever they'd done to knock her out was apparently just starting to wear off.

"_Yeah. I'm here._"

"_Lana_..."

"_Krystal...I can't. There are too many of them._"

"_Lana...they'll kill...Lana..._"

"_No, they won't_."

"We ready to get out of here?" Falco asked, massaging his knuckles.

"Yeah. Jake should be waiting nearby."

"Jake?" Falco asked as I headed for the doors.

"My temporary father."

"Your _dad_ let you do all this?"

"More or less."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I say we don't ask questions until all three of us are safe."

Falco looked at me with his beak open for a few seconds, before closing it with a snap and looking forward again.

"Fine."

"Good," I said as we opened the doors. Nobody was standing around outside, which made me kick myself for forgetting to check. "Now, how do we get away from the guys who want us dead?"

"We could just leave," Falco suggested.

"They've got someone patrolling the front of the school, dummy."

"You don't know that."

"Just trust me on this one," I said, making by way behind the B building anyway.

"_Lana..._" Krystal thought again. "_Shuttle..._"

_That's it_, I thought. "There might not be someone there after all."

"Then what're we waiting for?" he asked, even though I was already moving as fast as I could. I wondered whether the deflector's dash function would work for both of us, but I decided against testing it right then. Falco made it to the corner first, and peeked around it.

"Looks clear," he said, waving me forward. I didn't take two steps before he held up a hand. "Shoot, no, not clear."

"Who's there?" I asked.

"I don't know. Some black panther. Same one was watching the door before."

"Great," I said under my breath. "Distract him."

"What? Me?"

"Just throw a rock or something."

"How's that gonna work?"

"I don't know. But we need to figure something out, fast."

"Lemme handle it," Falco said, apparently getting an idea. He waited for a few seconds, before dashing toward the panther.

"That's it; he's completely crazy."

"_Ditto?_" Krystal asked. I felt her trying to move, but apparently she was still too lethargic to raise her head.

"_Yeah?_"

"_What happened?_"

"_I was going to ask you the same thing_."

"_I don't know. I...we were just walking...and then Lana shouted something...and someone grabbed me...how's Lana?_"

"_She'll be safe_."

"Alright," Falco said, appearing suddenly from around the corner and making me jump. "He's out, let's go."

"_What's happening?_"

"_We're still trying to save you._"

"_Save me...?_" she asked, before slowly fading out of consciousness again.

_What did they do to her?_ I wondered. I noticed Panther lying in a heap on the floor, but didn't even think to ask Falco what he'd done.

Once we got off of school grounds, Falco decided to let me lead. I didn't slow down until I could see Jake's car again, and even then only because I was nearly exhausted. The car's lights came on, and it pulled toward us.

"You're okay," Jake said once he stopped near us. He didn't even give Falco a second glance. "Here, I'll take her."

"No," I said, nodding toward the door. "Just open the door for me."

"Alright," he said, doing just that. I stepped in, careful not to hit her head on anything as I took the middle seat.

"So, you're really not going back?" Falco asked.

"Back?" Jake asked. "Why would he go back?"

"To help Lana."

"What?! There's another one?"

"Yeah," I said. I didn't really care what they'd thought, even though I still hadn't made up my mind.

"Then what're you doing here? Why aren't you helping her?" Jake asked.

I looked at him soberly, weighing my options once again. I still hadn't even decided whether to help her. I'd already told myself all of the reasons why it was a bad idea, but I didn't know if I'd be able to look myself in the mirror if I didn't at least try. I looked down at Krystal again, trying to figure out what would be the best course of action. "I can't," I told him.

Jake sighed. "I sure hope you know what you're doing."

"What?!" Falco exploded. "You agree with him?"

"I can't force him to do anything," Jake said.

"But...Lana's a friend. She's in trouble, and –"

"She's not in trouble," I repeated.

"You _can't_ know that," Falco said.

"Look," Jake said. I looked up at him. "I don't know what's happening here...but I trust you. Whatever you decide, I'll help. It's up to you."

* * *

**A/N**: Alright, sorry about that cliffhanger there. But I have good reason: I still have no idea what to do next. I guess I'd like to ask what you think he ought to do. I know comrade will comment, because he always does, but what does anyone else think? Should Ditto say "screw the storyline" and charge in gun blazing until Lana's safe? Or should he take it easy, secure in the knowledge that Relics is capable of saving Lana? Consider everything (_Sins_, casualties, Sani's story, hoverboards, the arwing, et cetera), and lemme know what you think will/should happen.

And in case anyone thinks that I just violated the rules...I didn't ask for ideas, I asked for opinions. That's the entire concept behind reviews, after all.

Oh, right; the APIR. I probably won't get a chance to dissect it in-story, so I'd like to explain it. It can shoot anything magnetic, ranging in size from an iron shaving to an ordinary bullet (hence the "Improvised Round" in the name). First, a force field arcs behind the object, before straightening itself and sending the object forward much faster than an ordinary bullet. Then, it depends on the mode (hence the "All-Purpose" in the name). In the semi-automatic stealth mode, a series of magnets and suppressors straighten and silence the shot. In the fully-automatic assault mode, the magnets accelerate it to easily double speed. So a metal BB making a three inch-wide hole in a cinder block is only the beginning. It could've easily taken Leon's leg off, and it was only in stealth mode. Also, if it runs out of ammo, it can work as an ordinary blaster, but it's a lot weaker than most.

Yes, I like to design fictional weaponry. I've got some more ideas (including an anti-tank sniper rifle), so we'll see if those make an appearance.


	18. Chapter 18: Recuperating

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Star Fox franchise, or any related characters, plots, or settings. I don't even own the OC "Relics"; XxSanitariumxX does. Check out his stories, particularly "Exchange Student", which is still in progress.

Okay, one thing before you get started. What the heck, Comrade? Thanks for the continued support and reviews and all, but really? The one time I ask a question, and you don't even acknowledge it. C'mon, man!

But seriously, thanks for the reviews. It's good to know that the story's appreciated, even if I'm mostly doing it for fun.

* * *

I hesitated, staring at Krystal's soundly-sleeping form. After a deep sigh, I turned to Falco.

"Get in the car, Falco."

"What?" he asked.

"You said you wanted the truth. Let's go."

"I take it that's a 'no'," Jake said, heading for the driver's seat.

"Ditto...how can you just –"

"Falco, she _will_ be safe. You want to know how I know? Get in the car."

He didn't move, looking back toward the school longingly. After a few seconds, he turned back to me. "It's hard to believe your words over my own eyes."

"We haven't got all night," Jake said. "Joanne told me she was taking the kids to a movie, so we could have the house if we needed it."

"What'd you tell her?" I asked.

"Everything you told me. She may worry too much according to you, but she really does care. And I'm _not_ going to lie to my wife."

"I'll come with you," Falco finally said. "But if I find out that Lana got hurt because of you..."

"I know. Fire and brimstone," I said as he got in the passenger seat and closed the door.

"So, you gonna start explaining yourself?" Jake asked as he started the car.

"I guess. Where do I start? Well, the short version would be that I'm from a completely different universe."

"What?" Falco asked, turning toward me. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I know what's going on. As far as I know, this entire universe is just a part of a story that, in my world, is fictional."

"So, we don't exist?" Falco asked sarcastically.

"Wrong," I said, looking back at Krystal, who had asked the same question. "I think Sharp knows more about it."

"Who's Sharp?" Jake asked.

"The guy who kidnapped us last night."

"Kidnapped?" Falco asked.

"Long story."

"I thought you didn't know who did it," Jake said.

"I don't know how to find him. He won't be at the base he took us to before."

"Base?" Jake asked. "What base?"

"I don't know. Some abandoned military base nearby. Same one that lost an arwing recently."

"So, why did you get taken? And how did you get out?" Falco asked.

"I think I was taken because I'm human. And I'm the one who took that arwing."

"You?" Falco asked. He tried to hold in his snicker, but eventually he was laughing at the story. "How long did it take you to come up with that crap?"

"I don't think he's being funny, kid," Jake said.

"I can't really prove it, though. I mean, I've got some glowing marks on my arm, but I'm not certain of what's going to happen anymore."

"What do you mean?" Jake asked.

I didn't know which one he expected me to explain, so I went with the future knowledge, since Falco wanted to know anyway. "Like I said, this world is based off of a story I read. I read all the way to the end, but it wasn't even finished at the time. Because of that, I know that Relics will rescue Lana tonight."

"And why didn't you do anything to help her?" Falco asked.

"It would've completely changed the story. My knowledge of it would be useless, and Lana might get in more danger. Besides, I would most likely kill someone who wasn't supposed to die."

"So, wait, what it is this? Time travel?" Jake asked.

"No. It's not unlike it, but I'm from the Earth of apparently seven hundred years ago."

"_That's_ why you didn't know about hoverboards," Falco said. I nodded. "So, you're really from the future..."

"Well, the future of an alternate past, but –"

"That's pretty cool. You think you can get me a date?"

"Falco, in the story, you don't get a date. Ever."

"Son of a –"

"To be fair, you weren't supposed to meet Katt the way you did, either."

"Wait...you mean there's hope?"

"I guess so. As long as I'm here, anything could happen."

"We should hang out more."

"So, why couldn't you go help your other friend?" Jake asked. "Sure, she has a savior, but why not you?"

"Well...the experience brings them closer together, and changes Relics for the better. But aside from that, I wasn't sure I could do it."

"Couldn't do it?" Falco asked. "You took out Leon like nothing."

"Took out?" Jake asked.

"Knocked out," I corrected. "And he was only one person, who we surprised while he was distracted. I didn't want to kill anyone, and that's hard to do with a fully-automatic rifle."

"I would've helped," Jake said as he turned onto the house's street.

"Yeah, me too," Falco put in.

"Well, Falco, you still will," I told him.

"What?"

"In a few hours, Fox is gonna call you and ask for your help at the school. You'll need to go, or else something might change."

"Wow," Jake said as he pulled into the house's driveway. He put it in park, and leaned back in his seat. "An alternate universe? That explains some things."

"We should make sure she's okay," I said, scooting toward the door.

"Then wouldn't a hospital be a better idea?" Falco asked.

"She already talked to me a little. I think it's just some kind of drug."

"Then let's get her inside," Jake said, turning the vehicle off. I opened the door and stepped out, once again careful to keep her head from hitting anything. Jake led Falco and I into the house, and I carefully set Krystal down on the nearest couch. I collapsed onto a nearby chair and heaved a big sigh, glad that the adventure was over and she was safe. When I did, I leaned against the APIR, and took both it and the deflector off, setting them in my lap.

"You want me to take those again?" Jake asked.

"Yeah," I said, handing them to him. "But the deflector's yours."

"Well, if you say you need it again, I might be willing to get it for you. Of course, I trust you won't just use it to impress your friends..."

"Of course not," I said, smiling. "That's why I'm going to get a hoverboard."

"What is it with you and those things?" Falco asked.

"I don't know, to be honest. I just want to have one. Assuming I use it, of course."

"Maybe we should get back to the issue at hand," Jake said, gesturing to Krystal.

"Yeah. What do you know about it, Ditto?" Falco asked.

"Well...Krystal wasn't supposed to be kidnapped."

"What?" Falco asked.

"Well, Lana was, but only her. Krystal...wasn't supposed to meet you for a long time. Something happened when I got here, and Krystal was brought to this planet because of that."

"So what happened?" Jake asked.

"I have no idea. That guy Sharp said he could help me get back to my world if I wanted to –"

"You're not doing it, right?" Falco asked.

"Not if I can help it. But what he said got me thinking...is it possible that they've figured out how to travel between dimensions on Corneria?"

"I hope not," Jake said. "If humans _or_ Cornerians tried that, it'd make more trouble than if someone used an EMP to shut down an entire planet."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"I'm not one of those eggheads behind a desk who knows that kind of stuff. But since you're here, I guess someone's gone and done something they shouldn't have."

"That can't be. I've done this kind of thing before, on my own."

"Well, do you have a way back on your own?"

"Not yet. Until the story's done, I can't leave."

"But you said Sharp has a way back for you."

"Yeah."

"Then we need to know more."

"Now, hold on," I said, standing, "we don't need to figure this all out. I just need to make sure nothing else changes until Relics..."

"Until Relics what?" Falco asked when I didn't continue.

"...finishes the story. He's the main character."

"What? Him? What about _me_?" Falco asked.

"You're the ace pilot of the fabled Star Fox team in a few years, so can it."

"I...I'm the...what?" Falco asked wide-eyed.

"I'll just put these away now," Jake said, finally leaving to stow the weapons.

"Still not the main character, though," I said under my breath as Falco came to grips with what I'd said.

"The ace pilot? Sounds fitting for someone of my talent."

"Falco, can you even fly an arwing yet?"

"Hey, I've shot down Fox in a simulator a couple of times."

"Have you even _touched_ a real arwing?"

"I definitely haven't _stolen_ one, if that's what you're asking."

"It was one time!" I shouted, before dissolving into laughter. He just folded his arms and leaned back against the wall.

"But seriously, what else should I know?"

"For one thing you can't tell anyone."

"What? Why?"

"The less people know, the better."

"Well, I get that, but why not Fox, or Bill, or Relics?"

I held up a hand and started counting off, "Bill wouldn't keep his trap shut, I barely know Fox yet, and Relics is the one person who can never find out. Who knows what would happen if Relics knew?"

"Well...who all knows?"

"Let's see...me, you, Krystal, and Jake."

"That's all?"

"Yeah. Remember, I'm trying to change as little as I can."

"That's no fun. You already know what'll happen if you don't change anything, so you should see what would happen if you changed _everything_."

"And then lose my foresight, along with any sense of security. Good idea, there."

"Alright," Jake said, reentering the room, "What now?"

"Falco should get home," I said.

"Why?" he asked.

"You need to be ready when Fox calls. And you need to arrive at a certain time."

"Oh, come on. It'll be a few minutes' difference."

"A few minutes could make Relics fail to rescue Lana."

"Listen to the time-traveler," Jake said, turning Falco toward the door.

"Not a time-traveler!" I shouted.

"You'll be okay alone with Krystal, right?" Jake asked.

"He's a guy. He can figure out how to make the parts fit," Falco said with a snicker.

"She'd kill me if I did. And then Miyu would get her turn at me. So yeah, we'll be fine," I called as they left the house. I watched the door close idly, and then turned toward Krystal, who was beginning to stir. Of course, I wouldn't do what Falco had in mind. And even if I'd wanted to, I was otherwise distracted.

"I'm hungry."

* * *

I ended up making myself a ham & cheese sandwich. And then I stuck it in their weird high-tech version of a microwave, which almost made it more like grilled cheese than what I had wanted. But the snack was done in under a minute, and I sat in the small kitchen eating it happily. After eating another sandwich just like it, I sat in the living room, in the same chair I'd collapsed into earlier.

I looked uncertainly between Krystal's sleeping form and the television. While it would be beyond creepy to watch her sleep, there wasn't really anything worth watching on TV. Still, I needed something to keep my mind off of Lana, so I grabbed the remote.

"Ditto?" Krystal mumbled, looking around lazily.

"I'm here," I said, kneeling in front of the couch.

"What happened? Where are we?" she asked, trying to sit up.

"Hey, you should lie down," I said.

"I'm done lying down," she retorted, but she didn't try to stand. She leaned forward and put her head in her hands as I sat on the couch beside her.

"Do you remember what happened?" I asked.

"Yeah. You and Falco saved me, because Lana and I were – Lana! Where's Lana?!"

"She'll be alright," I told her.

"I can tell when you're lying to me."

"Krystal, I'm serious. She may not be safe yet, but she won't be hurt."

"But why isn't she here with us? Did...did you leave her?"

"Well –"

"What?! You left her! Ditto, they said they'd kill us both! How could you do this?!"

"Krystal –"

"She was my friend. What...what if I never see her again? I..."

"Krystal!" I shouted, silencing her. "Don't you think I feel bad enough for doing that? What, like she's not my friend, too? And what about Relics? If he finds out what I did, he'll kill me himself! But you know full well, I had to."

"What do you mean...oh. So...this was supposed to happen?"

I sighed, glad that she was calm. "Yeah. Relics goes and saves Lana, and nobody dies. Not even Wolf."

"And...what you said at lunch..."

"Mmm hmm."

"Oh."

I stared at my shoes, thinking again about the poor girl I'd left behind. I knew all of the reasons I'd given myself, but logic didn't make it easier. I'd left her in the hands of her kidnappers without even trying to help, and it felt like I'd done it myself. I felt a lump in my chest, and I sighed to try to get rid of it.

"So what's wrong?" she asked, putting her hand on mine.

"You said it yourself. I left her to die."

"But she won't die," she said sympathetically.

"As far as I know. But what if I already changed too much? What if they step up their security because they already lost you? How do we know that Relics still saves her?"

"We don't," Krystal admitted, "but I have faith in Relics."

"Maybe not a good choice," I mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. But Relics will have to make a choice, and...I'm not sure which way he'll go."

"So...do you regret your choice?" she asked, looking at me expectantly.

"Y'know what? I actually don't," I said, finally looking back at her.

"And why is that?"

"Because I didn't make the decision quickly. If I chose again, I would do the same thing. But I still feel bad about leaving her."

"Yeah...I know what you mean. Maybe if I'd been paying attention, we wouldn't have been kidnapped."

"These guys were determined. For all we know, they would have just taken Lana later in the day. You're just lucky they decided to keep you alive."

"Oh, _I'm_ lucky?" she asked. "I think we're all lucky, in that case."

"How so?"

"Well, if they had hurt me, I think you would be upset. And you might use one of those _Sin_ things to avenge your _girlfriend_."

"Well, everyone else thinks that," I said, hardly paying attention. I was thinking about how badly I would've hurt Leon had he touched Krystal.

"And what do _you_ think?" she asked.

My eyes widened when I realized what she had asked. I managed to keep my mouth shut so I didn't stammer, but my mind was racing, and I knew she knew, since her hand was still on mine.

"_Something wrong?_" she asked with an audible giggle.

"_Of course not. It's just that I've never...had a girlfriend. My excuse was always that I had to focus on schoolwork._"

"_Boring_."

"_Why even ask what I think? You already know almost everything I know_."

"_Well, maybe I just want to hear you say it out loud_."

"Well, we _have_ been on a date," I said aloud.

"Only one, though. I've been kidnapped more times than we've dated."

"Yeah, about that; maybe you could stay not kidnapped for one day?"

"What if I just like being rescued?"

"There have to be easier ways to get acquainted."

"Like telepathy?"

"Maybe if I knew someone who could do that..." I began with a smirk.

"...you could finish each other's sentences?" she suggested quickly.

"...actually, I hadn't thought of that. And it'd be way too easy for you. Just like Charades or poker."

"Are you suggesting I would cheat?" she asked.

"Cheat? What? I didn't use that word. Why would I suggest something like that? I think someone's guilty conscience is getting to them."

"Oh, shut up," she said, hitting me playfully.

"Abuse!" I cried out, leaning away.

"Be glad I'm not Miyu," she said with a giggle.

"I am. Miyu would have stomped _back_ to the school to take care of everyone involved."

Krystal sighed. "Ditto...please stop that."

"Stop? Stop what?"

"Bringing up Lana."

"...oh. Sorry, I was...sorry."

"It's okay. Just...guilty conscience, you know?"

"Yeah. You want to hear how Relics saves her?"

She smiled. "Sure. Maybe that'll help."

"Alright, let's see," I said, leaning back and trying to remember the story. I didn't actually remember that much, but I decided to fake it for the parts I couldn't remember. So I launched into a tale of how Relics fought off a school full of baddies by himself, just to save his girlfriend.

* * *

It didn't take me too long to describe what would be happening. I tried not to leave out too many details, especially Relics and Fara being locked in a room, and Relics pulling someone out a window. Krystal turned out to be a great listener, leaning forward during the particularly exciting parts, and actually holding her breath during suspenseful parts, despite my less-than-exciting storytelling abilities. Jake came home at some point, but I hardly noticed him as he headed up to go to bed. I finished the story before Joanne returned, ending on the same note of the sunrise that the original story had.

"Woah..." she breathed, leaning back. "So...it was all for revenge?"

"Yeah."

"And it takes Relics all night to save her?"

"Yeah."

"So, how does he get through school tomorrow?"

"He doesn't go."

"Huh?"

"Apparently Lana's parents are gone for a few months, so the two rest all day tomorrow. And no, they don't do anything inappropriate. I mean, they snuggle, but nothing else."

"That'd be nice," Krystal said, leaning against me.

"Th-the day off?" I suggested. Snuggling was still a little bit more than I was expecting.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

"Well, you went through a traumatizing experience. And for proof, they have the bullet holes in the school. I think they'll be okay with a short break."

"Can you get out too?"

"I already did high school. One absence won't kill me. Looks like you're stuck with me for tomorrow."

"Darn," she said, before giggling.

"Hey, I think it'll be fun. 'Course, it's a rainy day..."

She looked askance at me. "I'm starting to think you planned this."

"What? Me?" I asked, acting surprised.

"Yes, you. You're the one who seems to know everything."

"Except how to stay out of lockers," I said with a snicker.

"Well, that's why we're together," she said.

"We're together?" I asked.

"It's about time you said it," she said, leaning against me again.

"And _I'm_ the criminal mastermind," I said under my breath as she finally turned the television on.

* * *

**A/N**: Okay, wow. That part shouldn't have taken as long as it did. Maybe because it was nothing but dialogue. Ah, well. Longest filler chapter of the story, then. And if you don't like the choice Ditto made, I'm sorry, but it's too late to change it now.

Also, I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update over the next few weeks. There's a conference my church is holding, and whenever I'm not helping to set it up or take it down, I'll likely be attending. I'll still update as close as I can to my every-other-day schedule, but...we'll see, I guess. And if I miss too many days, I promise an enormous chapter at some point to make up for it. But I don't know when or how.

Oh, and "Christian Stario"? Thanks, even if you are my cousin.

EDIT (3/29): Okay, seems like it could be a tough week. The conference will eat up a very large majority of my time, leaving me a couple hours daily to write at most. Considering I'm used to six or more, this will throw a wrench in my schedule. On top of that, Comrade has decided to stop with his regular updates, leaving me surprisingly moody. Anyone else who wants to do regular reviews, please feel free to. But since I was supposed to update today, and the chapter's less than halfway done, I apologize for missing one update already.

For my regular/loyal reader(s), I'll still do my best. Any reviews, favorites, or follows are a huge motivation for me, and anything but cruel criticism brightens my day. And I'm making slow progress with Dragons' Legacy, but that story's pretty much on the backburners.

I feel like I should have a catch phrase. Like, something to end each chapter with. Ah, well.


	19. Chapter 19: To the Mall

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters but Ditto, and I don't own any settings, events, or ideas expressed within the story. Read at your own discretion.

Crap. Sorry, I know the updates are out-of-whack. But it's only going to get worse. I got a couple of new games, and that's ON TOP of the conference I've been mentioning. I might not even get an update in this week, aside from this one. Also, I'd wanted to make the entire day one chapter, but I figured a shorter update was better than none at all.

* * *

Krystal and I just sat there on the couch, watching the weird show she'd chosen and talking idly for close to an hour. I was wondering for a while how good of a show it was, since she didn't seem to be paying attention at all. It surprised me when I felt a thought of hers that told me she'd been paying close attention to both me and the show. I was actually going to bring the fact up, when I heard a car pull up to the house.

"This could get fun," I said.

"What? Why?" Krystal asked, looking toward the door.

"My 'mother' will probably be worried, and that doesn't include Katherine, Michael, Colin, and – oh, no."

"What?"

"Ruth."

"Am I supposed to know what all those names mean? And what's so bad about Ruth?"

"You're the telepath here," I said, slouching into the seat as I heard the robin's high voice approaching the door. I heard a key enter the lock, and took a deep breath in anticipation of what was probably about to happen.

"...just don't see why everyone was so excited about it," Colin was saying as the door opened. "I mean, I've seen human movies that –" he began, but he stopped when he saw Krystal. Before long, everyone but Katherine was staring at the two of us, apparently wondering what we'd been doing.

"Hello, all," I said, avoiding the elephant in the room.

"Who's your friend?" Joanne asked, closing the door.

"Her name is Krystal."

"Shouldn't she be getting home? Don't you have school tomorrow?"

"Something happened. Don't we have spare rooms?"

"I...I guess so. How long will she be staying?"

"_I'm staying?_" Krystal asked.

"Just tonight."

"Okay..." Joanne said slowly. The others were still staring at the two of us.

"Well, don't just stand around like that," Katherine said, sitting on the couch beside Krystal. "Good to meet you, Krystal."

"Talking to my friends?" I asked, surprised. "Who are you, and where's the _real_ Katherine?"

"Oh, come on, Ditto. It's not like I act like you don't exist."

"That's the impression I'd gotten," I said as Colin took the chair to my right. Joanne made her way upstairs, and Michael followed nonchalantly. Ruth ran right in front of me and put her hands on my knees.

"Where were you yesterday?" she asked loudly.

"Yeah, what was with that?" Colin asked.

"I was just busy with...school things."

"Then how come Mike and Kat got home but you didn't?" Ruth asked.

"I...actually, I went on a date."

"A date?" Ruth and Colin asked at the same time.

"On the first day of school?" Colin asked.

"Who'd you go with?" Ruth asked more intently, leaning on my legs.

"Me," Krystal said with a smile.

"Nice," Colin said, holding up his hand for a high five. I didn't give him one.

"So, why'd you get back so late?" Ruth asked. Katherine's eyes widened.

"Okay, Ruth, I think it's time for bed," she said, rising.

"It's okay," I told her, "we didn't do _that_."

"Do what?" Ruth asked.

"Still, I think it's time I got her upstairs..."

"No!" Ruth whined. "I haven't got to spend time with Ditto in forever!"

"C'mere, Ruthy," Katherine said, picking the squirming bird up, "it's bedtime."

"But I'm not tired!" she cried as she was taken upstairs, leaving me, Krystal, and Colin downstairs. I chuckled while I watched the interchange.

"So what _did_ happen last night?" Colin asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh, come on. You didn't get home until after midnight, and I can tell you got beat up."

"First of all, I got beat up at school. Eli got me in trouble with a couple of idiots, and they shoved me in a locker."

"And then I got him out," Krystal put in.

"Oh. Well, then how come you had to borrow a jacket in the morning?"

"The date ended much later than we'd thought, and Jason took us home right away," I lied.

"Jason?" he asked.

"Our driver. It was a double date, and the other date had a chauffeur."

"Well, that's no fun," he said, slouching in his seat. "So, nothing exciting happened last night?"

"I wouldn't say that," I said, smirking at Krystal. "I mean, our date went pretty well."

"Did you kiss her?" Colin whispered. I almost denied it immediately, but Krystal beat me to the punch.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know?" she asked.

"What is it with you lately?" Katherine asked someone loud enough to be heard downstairs. I turned toward the stairs.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Katherine's arguing with the raven who ignored you," Krystal said. "_Wanna listen in?_"

"_Please and thank you._"

"_Maybe I just don't like him,_" I heard Michael say as Krystal began to concentrate.

"_No, no, you didn't like Colin when he got here. But you haven't even spent a full minute with him yet._"

"_Why should I?_"

"_He's not that bad._"

"You _didn't like him yesterday, either. What happened to you?_"

"_Why don't you at least give him a chance?_"

"_Do you really want to know why?_"

"Of course!" I heard without Krystal's help.

"_He's a human. Okay? I don't want to have to be stuck with one of those things._"

"_What...Mike, you don't hate humans._"

"_Yeah, I do. The humans are gonna start a war soon, and then you'll all be sorry._"

"_You don't know that. And you really don't know that Ditto has anything to do with it._"

"_I don't care. He's a human, and I'm not going anywhere near him._"

"_Oh, yes you are. Or do you want mom to hear about..._Lily_?_"

There was a short pause. "_How do you know about that?_"

"_I have my ways. So?_"

"_Fine,_" Michael growled, "_He's got _one _chance._"

"_And you'd better not be rude,_" Katherine warned.

"This could be fun," I said under my breath.

"You really haven't met him yet?" Krystal asked.

"Well, I got the impression that he hated me. Looks like I was right."

"Oh, he doesn't hate you," Krystal said as the pair came down the stairs. "He's just like most of the people at school."

"_But younger, angrier at humans, and technically related to me._"

"_True_," she said as Katherine took her seat beside Krystal again. Michael took the seat across from Colin and folded his arms, staring at me sternly. Nobody said anything for almost a full minute, and I did my best to maintain eye contact with the moody raven. He wasn't about to crack, though, so I tried to make progress.

"Hi," I said simply.

"'Sup."

_Didn't go as well as I'd hoped_, I thought. "Not much," I replied.

"Mmm."

_A hum? That's it? It's like talking to a wall. How am I supposed to make progress?_

"I'm Krystal," she said, nodding toward him. He finally stopped staring at me, and his expression softened slightly.

"Michael," he said, before looking down.

"You play video games?" I asked.

"Of course he does," Colin said. "Not much, 'cuz I always beat him."

"You wish," Michael said, finally showing emotion.

"What games you got?" I asked.

"Well, I've got a bunch of FPS games, some adventure-RPG's, and even the last one of those Smash Bros. games. A little outdated, but I still think it's fun," Colin said.

"Wh-what was that last one?" I asked, losing my breath.

"Super Smash Bros. You wanna play it?" Michael asked.

"Yes," I said without any hesitation.

"Get ready to get whooped," Colin said as he moved toward the television and started to mess with the console. "We're both pretty good at this game."

_I don't know_, I thought. _I have a few tricks up my own sleeve_.

Colin handed a controller to Michael and I, and Katherine left the room, mumbling something about boys and their games. But Colin shouted something to her about how she knew she played games, too. To my surprise, Krystal stayed.

"_Won't you get bored?_" I asked.

"_Maybe, but you wouldn't want to lose in the first round, right? And two heads are better than one._"

"_This game doesn't have rounds_," I said.

"_Whatever. Then you wouldn't want to die first._"

"_I don't think I will_," I replied as the game's menu showed up. After a few quick button presses by Colin, the character select screen showed up. The other two selected their characters and custom names with practiced ease, but I was looking through the extensive roster. _That's a lot of people_, I thought. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't see Falco, who I'd wanted to use. In fact, I didn't see anyone from Star Fox. _Well, this _is _a completely different universe_, I thought. I decided to stick with Link.

The match started once a stage was selected, and I jumped right in. Krystal helped immediately with figuring out the control scheme, reading minds occasionally and helping me to remember even when she didn't cheat. She decided against helping me fight at first, but even so, I managed to steal one of Michael's KO's while they were letting me figure it out. At that point, they apparently got serious, and I only got one more KO as they knocked me off repeatedly. But then Krystal decided to help, and I actually managed to hold my own.

I still didn't end up winning. Despite my own smack talk and repeated in-game taunts, I came in dead last. I would have to put up with both Michael and Colin's crap for the next hour, but at least they were both talking to me. _Ah, video games, you've yet to fail me_, I thought. We played another game, where I insisted we turn on a computer player. They decided to do it, and I managed to place third out of four, without Krystal's help. At that point, Joanne came down and told us that it was a school night, and to turn it off, and everything like that.

"Maybe I'll show you how to play tomorrow," Michael said as we headed up the stairs.

"Well, thanks, but –"

"Because you're seriously the worst. I mean, it's like you're not even trying."

"He got you a couple times," Krystal said.

"Doesn't matter," I told her. "One kill hardly means anything. Heck, twenty kills hardly means anything. If it's two on one, and the 'one' loses, the other two still get bragging rights. It's a sick and twisted game."

"But you still play it?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

* * *

The next morning, I woke up sluggishly as the alarm by my head buzzed right into my ear. Whatever dream I'd been having apparently included something capable of making that noise, so at first, I just turned over and tried to ignore it. I couldn't keep sleeping, though, when something small landed right in the middle of my back.

"Agh!" I said sleepily, arching my back and turning my head. There was Ruth, kneeling on my back.

"Time to wake up!" she said cheerfully.

"Ruth, you're not supposed to be in here," Colin said, rubbing his eyes. "Get out."

"You weren't waking up," she explained as she crawled down to the floor.

"The alarm was ringing for ten seconds," Colin complained. I was lying face down in the bed, rubbing my back to massage away the pain.

"Okay. See you downstairs," she called before running out of the room.

"Ohh..." I groaned when I heard the door shut.

"You okay?" he asked.

"No," I replied with a laugh.

"Come on, she's not that heavy."

"It still hurts when she gives your back a flying knee."

"You'll live."

"Of course. Few broken vertebra, nothing major," I said, stretching like a dog that just woke up.

"You must not know what it's like to have your tail stepped on."

"No, that I don't," I admitted, crawling out of bed. "Something about not having a tail, or something."

"Too bad for you," he said. "Tails are great for balance and stuff."

"But they get stepped on."

"Only sometimes."

"And pulled."

"Okay, but that's mean to do."

"And probably slammed in a lot of doors."

"Alright, okay, you've made your point. Tail_bones_ are better."

"You ever wonder why they call them that?" I asked.

"What?"

"Tailbones."

"I thought it was some kind of evolutionary thing. Like they used to be tails or something."

"Well, that might be why people named them that, but the tailbone has nothing to do with tails. It's not vestigial; there's nothing in the human body that has no function to the body. The tailbone has a series of muscles hanging from it that make it possible to...do certain things."

"Mmm hmm..." Colin hummed, and I realized he hadn't even been paying attention. I grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it right at his head.

"Hey!" he shouted when it hit him. "What was that for?"

"You'd think you'd hear me with those ears of yours."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I mean you didn't even try to pay attention."

"Yeah, well, they talk about enough boring stuff in school. I don't need you doing it, too."

"It's not _that_ boring."

"Sure it isn't," he said sarcastically, leaving the room now that he'd finished dressing.

"Don't you mock me! I can still hack your computer!"

"You'd better not," he warned, reappearing in the doorway.

"I might," I said with a smirk. He pointed a finger at me in warning, and I just laughed it off. I spied my second shoe clear across the room, and stood to grab it.

"_Good morning_," Krystal said, making me jump.

"_How did you do that?_" I asked, turning toward her room and scowling through the wall. I didn't get an audible response, but from the impression she gave me, I knew what she was trying to say.

_I never said I couldn't_, I imagined her saying, complete with the the cheeky smile I was sure she was wearing.

"_Well, you never said you could do it, either._"

"So?" she asked from the doorway. I glanced toward her after pulling on my shoe, and stood up abruptly. She was wearing some borrowed clothing, presumably from Katherine, and I tried to evaluate it. She must've noticed, giving a little spin so I could see it all. "What do you think?" she asked.

"It looks good," I said, giving my entire opinion. I hardly qualified to dress myself, and I didn't really care how I looked after that point, so her asking me for my thoughts was akin to asking a squirrel what flying was like.

"That's it?" she asked, leaning on one leg and tilting her head in disappointment.

"Well, you look better than me," I said, exiting the room.

"It's something," she replied, shrugging.

We made our way downstairs, where Joanne was busily rushing around, helping Ruth and Jake with their breakfasts. Once Ruth saw us, she shouted good morning, which made everyone else look up and say the same.

"Morning," I said, standing there awkwardly. The table had one open spot, and I didn't know whether to offer it to Krystal, or see if Joanne would sit there, or what. But Joanne saved me from making the decision when she approached me, asking Katherine to help with Ruth. She didn't start talking immediately; she first escorted me down a nearby hallway for some privacy. Krystal followed silently.

"Okay," she breathed once she was satisfied with the distance from everyone else. "Jake told me everything," she said. I nodded. "I just want you to know...I don't think any different of you."

"Okay," I said with another nod.

"I was upset...at first. I wish you wouldn't lie to me. But I know why you did it, and...I might have done the same thing. I want you to know that you can come to me with anything, ever. You can trust me, okay?"

"Of course," I said, smiling. I was glad when she turned to Krystal instead of hugging me.

"And Jake told me what you went through last night. If you need to stay for a few more days, we have spare rooms. Do you need to call anyone?"

"I do have to call the family that took me in when I got here," she said.

"Your parents?" Joanne asked.

"Well, I still have parents..."

"So...did you run away from home?"

"No," Krystal said. "I...got here a lot like Ditto."

"Oh!" she said. "Oh, my. Did you two know each other before...?"

"No," I said. "She was already in this universe. She lived on a planet called Cerinia, well away from the Lylat System. I guess I accidentally brought her here myself. Lucky for her the main language on Cerinia is the same one on Corneria."

"No, it isn't," she told me. "_Telepath, remember? It wasn't hard to learn_."

"_You sneaky girl_," I said, looking askance at her.

"So, do you want to call them?" Joanne asked.

"Oh. Uh...sure."

"Alright," she said, leading Krystal to the house phone. I went back into the kitchen for the Cornerian equivalent of Pop Tarts. For some reason, they had less candy-like flavors, and more fruity flavors. Still, strawberry and cherry tasted pretty much the same, and grape wasn't half bad.

"I can't believe you eat those," Katherine said when she saw me open the silvery pouch.

"Why's that?" I asked with a full mouth.

"You need a reason? They're horrible; they're bad for you, they taste like stale bread, they're too messy to eat –"

"But they're easy to make," I said. "Just open and eat."

"You're gonna die if you keep eating those," she warned before taking a bite of her own meal.

"And if I don't...I'll be immortal!" I shouted, pumping a fist. I managed to get Colin to snicker, and Michael's feathers ruffled to show his amusement. Ruth laughed, but she didn't seem to get it.

"Keep talking, smart aleck."

"Y'know, you're not the first person to call me that?"

"No kidding," she said with a chuckle.

"Yeah. Lots of people call me smart," I said. She looked down and shook her head with a groan, but I saw the smile on her face.

"Okay..." Krystal said into the phone. Her conversation was winding down at that point. "Alright...I will...I'll see you after school. Okay? 'Bye."

"I guess you're not in too much trouble, then?" I asked once she hung up.

"They were worried, but not too much. With how yesterday went, they'd assumed I spent the night with a friend. Of course, they thought it was a girl..."

"Katherine counts," I said, pointing at her.

"Don't bring me into this," she said.

"I'll probably just tell them..." Krystal began, before glancing at Joanne. "...the truth," she finished. "I'm sure they'll know I didn't do anything wrong."

_Pants on fire_, I thought, hoping she was listening.

"Hurry and finish, kids," Joanne said, "we've got to get going soon."

"They're still having school today?" I asked.

"Well, Ruth and Colin are. But something happened last night," she said, giving me a stare, "and they closed down your school for today to investigate."

"All right!" Michael shouted. Colin groaned.

"And I suppose you and Krystal can spend the day together...but I expect you to do something _outdoors_."

"It's going to rain," I said knowingly.

"There are only a few clouds," she replied. "And the forecast called for a sunny day. I don't think it's going to rain."

"Give the boy some credit," Jake said, just before the low rumble of thunder hit the house from really far away.

"Woooah!" Ruth said, looking out the window. "Do it again! But this time say a pony's gonna show up!"

"I don't think it works like that," Colin said.

"It should."

"What would you even do with a pony?" I asked.

"Ride it, duh! I could ride it to school, and take my friends for a ride, and sometimes just ride it for fun, and pet it, and hug it, and sleep on it and everything!"

"Sounds like fun," I said with a smirk. "But I don't think I can get you one."

"Mommy?" she asked, turning to Joanne imploringly.

"I don't think so. Now, hurry and eat. You've got five minutes until we leave."

"Well, where should we go?" I asked.

"We could see a movie," Krystal suggested.

"Nothing good's playing, though," Katherine put in. "I say we go shopping."

"Then I'm out," Michael said. "Ditto, you wanna play some games today?"

"I would, but...I already said I'd spend the day with Krystal," I told him.

"It's not like we all have to stay together," Krystal said.

"I'm not going to be here alone all day. I say we make a vote," Michael said.

"Okay," Katherine said with a smirk. "I think we should go to the mall. Everyone who agrees?"

Katherine and Krystal both raised their hands. Krystal leaned toward me and whispered, "I'll bet you could find a hoverboard." My eyes widened, and my hand shot into the air.

"Oh, come on!" Michael groaned. "What'd you say to him?"

"Doesn't matter," Katherine said. "Better get ready if you're going with us."

"Thanks a lot," Michael said as he passed me on his way upstairs.

"For what?" I asked, following him.

"Why'd you agree with them?" he asked.

"It's not like they only sell clothing. We could stick to the video game stores or something."

"Yeah, well, we'd better not be there all day."

"I don't think it'd take that long."

"You don't know my sister."

"Isn't she as much my sister as yours?"

"Whatever, then. _Your_ sister. Our sister. She can shop for weeks straight if we let her."

"Then we shouldn't let her?" I guessed as I entered my own room.

"If you think you can stop her," he said with a dry laugh.

* * *

We managed to convince Joanne to drive us to whatever mall Katherine chose, once she got back from driving Colin and Ruth to school. It ended up being a pretty short ride, but by the time we got there, the rain was pouring in earnest. As soon as she opened the door, Krystal ran from the car to the store, and even though I liked the rain, she decided to drag me ahead with her. Michael seemed to enjoy it, and Katherine hardly noticed the rain pelting her scales.

"Hold on," I said when Krystal continued to pull me after we were out of the rain, "They aren't catching up."

"We don't have to spend all day with them."

"Well, we have to be able to find them again," I said, thinking of my translator. Apparently, it could make calls, even though I hadn't tried yet.

"Telepath," she reminded me.

"Well, still, should we really just –"

"They'll be fine," she said, and I looked toward the other two. Michael stared after me for a few seconds, before turning to Katherine and saying something. She shrugged, and he jogged after Krystal and me.

"Hey, wait up!" he called. Krystal let go of my wrist, but she didn't slow down. I turned toward him and started walking backwards, still following Krystal closely.

"What's up?" I asked.

"You were really just gonna leave me with _her_? She only goes to the dumbest stores."

"You mean the girliest ones?" I asked, facing forward again. Krystal must have known where she was going. "And I thought you were supposed to keep her from buying everything."

"You said you'd be doing that. And either way, she's only got, like, sixty credits. Unless her new boyfriend gave her some."

"How do you know she has a _new_ boyfriend? I didn't even know there was an _old_ one."

"She broke up with him a couple weeks ago. And I only know she's in a relationship because she was in a good enough mood to talk to you and your girlfriend."

"She's –" I began, ready to deny it as if by reflex. I stopped myself when I remembered that we were acting like it was true, before I realized that since last night, it _was_ true.

"She's what?" he asked.

"Uh..." I began, trying to think of an excuse. I realized that I could make up an excuse about Katherine instead of Krystal, but I decided to take the easy way out. "Nothing."

"There you go," Krystal said, pointing out a store. "I think you'll be happy, Ditto."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Dude, you're going in _there_?" Michael asked. "There's no way you can afford anything they sell."

"Who's they?" I asked, looking at the sign above the store. The usual Cornerian symbols greeted me, but Krystal once again decided to pull me along before I could get it translated. It looked like a skate shop right out of Tron. I actually saw a jetpack on display, but I shook my head and declined. I could get into enough trouble without flight.

"Hey," a mottled black owl said as soon as we entered, "can I help you?"

"Hoverboards," Krystal said without missing a beat. He pointed toward a wall that was covered in metallic devices, and I walked toward the wall for a closer look.

"A hoverboard?" Michael asked. "How the heck can you pay for that?"

I ignored him, still trying to figure out whether the devices on the wall were actually hoverboards. Some of them were shaped like thick skateboards, but many of them were shorter. Some were perfect circles, and one or two didn't even look big enough to put both feet on top of. I tentatively put out a hand to touch one.

"I take it you're new to these?" the owl asked. I turned around quickly and hesitated for a moment, before nodding. "C'mon," he said, beckoning and heading toward the back of the store. I followed him only after Krystal did.

"What's back here?" I asked.

"We've got a little simulator for newbies. It's just to get the hang of it, so you don't kill yourself on your first try."

"Oh. Well...thanks."

"Don't mention it," he said, rounding a corner. I almost expected a big chair surrounded by computers, like the Matrix or something, but there were just a handful of helmets laid out in a line inside of a shallow bin. They weren't even covered in flashing lights and wires, although they did have quite a few buttons and switches.

"Just take one, there's an AI that'll tell you what you need to know. And don't break it, or you'll be paying for it."

"Got it," I said, moving toward the bin.

"Can I try?" Michael asked.

"It's not a game."

"He won't break it," Krystal said as I selected one and sat down.

"Fine," the owl said. "What do I care?"

"He gave up rather easily," I said, squinting after him as he left. Krystal giggled, and I turned to her knowingly.

"I didn't do anything," she said with an innocent expression.

"Of course not. Are you gonna try too?"

"I don't think so," she said, sitting beside me. "_But who knows?_"

"Yeah, well..." I said idly, turning the helmet over in my hands. "Why would he just leave?" I asked. "I mean, it's not like we know how to use these things."

"Just put it on," Michael said.

"What, _you_ know how to use them?"

"They're not rare."

"Oh. Well, I've still never seen one," I commented, lifting it over my head. "So, what, is there gonna be some tingling in my –" I began, when the helmet came to a rest on my head. I felt an electric buzz all the way down to my toes, and I suddenly felt like I was falling asleep. _It would suck if this was another kidnapping_, I thought, before a cold darkness enveloped all of my senses.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, Ditto's finally getting his hoverboard. Don't worry, he still has the wallet...purse...thing...that he took from Sharp. But since this story's feeling kinda dull and action-less, I've got to throw in a plot twist soon. I'm willing to bet nobody will guess it, though guessing it would be possible.

And for those who didn't see the edit I made to the previous update, Comrade has decided to leave Fanfiction, leaving me without reliable reviews. Tough week, indeed.

This story will survive, though it may go on hiatus for a bit. April may be a tough month for this story. Still, it got 1400 views from nearly 500 different people in its first month, along with amassing over 50,000 words in just under three weeks. Nod bad, considering a total noob wrote it. And since I've yet to get a negative or criticizing review, I think I'm holding my own fairly well. But, I hope you've enjoyed what's been written so far, and I will get back on top of things ASAP.

UPDATE: This story will now go to the backburners. It WILL resume eventually (probably in a week or so), but in the meantime, I'm working on my original story. My cousin may threaten bodily harm if I make her wait any longer, so thanks for your support, and I'll be speedy about finishing the arena fight of Heart's Illusion.

UPDATE 2: Tomorrow (Sunday), I will update. I'm hoping this email issue resolves itself before then, but while I plan to update in the morning, I'll update in the afternoon even if it doesn't. Thanks to the person who favorited and followed (xSporkyx), and to Nimrod, for his review(s). For those who are interested, the 4-chapter arena fight is around 62% finished, and once that's done, I'll be able to put this story on full throttle. Unless, I suppose, people ask for more updates to my Skyrim fan fic, but I doubt that will happen. Anyway, I can confidently say that Sundays will be virtually guaranteed update-days, for this story.


	20. Chapter 20: A Hoverboard

And he updates!

**Disclaimer:** Read at your own discretion. Especially this chapter. You'll see what I mean.

It's about time, yeah? Heart's Illusion is taking up a lot of my time, but it's coming out great. And even though every other day is un-doable for both stories, here's an "in the meantime" update for you all. Thanks to the people who are favoriting, following, and reviewing; you guys keep me going when I'd rather play video games.

Once again, thanks to XxSanitariumxX, despite the fact that this chapter has little to do with his story.

* * *

I took a deep breath when the helmet stopped working, opening my eyes widely. I pulled it off with numb hands and leaned forward, breathing heavily. The feeling slowly began to return to my extremities, and I shook my head after a few seconds.

"Are you okay?" Krystal asked, unfazed despite the fact that she'd joined me within the simulation using her telepathy.

"Yeah," I breathed. "Just a little lightheaded."

"All simulators do that," Michael said, setting his helmet back in its place. "And out here it's only been like, what, five minutes?"

"Can't wait until Friday," I said sarcastically.

"Why's that?" he asked.

"Fox and Falco said they were going to –"

"Fox? As in Fox McCloud? Son of James McCloud?" he asked.

"Yeah..." I said uncertainly, trying to stand. Krystal took the helmet and put it away.

"Like, Star Fox James McCloud?" he asked as we made our way to the front of the store again.

"Yes," I said, becoming slightly annoyed.

"I didn't know you knew those guys!"

"I don't know _them_," I said, assuming he meant the current Star Fox team. "And I've hardly met Fox, anyway."

"But you will, right? Friday, you said."

"Yeah. After school, they're doing a simulated arwing battle. For bragging rights, I guess."

"Can I go with you?" he asked intently.

"Why?" I asked. "To meet James? To walk around in the Great Fox? Sorry, Michael, but I'm not making this a tour of Star Fox."

"Maybe I just want to try the simulator. I beat you in videogames, didn't I?"

"That's a little different."

"And you've never used an arwing before, have you?" Krystal asked.

"No, but it's not like Ditto has, either."

I looked at Krystal knowingly, but I didn't respond. Instead, I began to look over the boards again. The differences between them weren't as simple as different paint jobs; I'd tried several in the simulator, and I actually knew exactly what kind I wanted. Finding it on the wall of boards, though, proved to be difficult.

"Wait, you _are_ actually going to buy one?" Michael asked.

"That was the plan," I replied without turning around.

"You can't afford it. There's no way."

"That reminds me," I said, patting my pockets. I reached into my right pocket and pulled out the bag, handing it to Krystal. "So, which one can I afford?" I asked. True, I could've done it, but I wasn't confident that the Cornerian numbering system was the same as my own. I heard a small gasp and turned toward her, but she quickly closed the bag and lowered it, looking at me intently.

"_Did you count the money?_" she asked.

"_No, I just sort of took it. How much is there?_"

"_You could probably buy this whole shop, give away all the merchandise, and have enough left to restock it again._"

"_So it's not unlimited_," I said, turning to the wall again.

"_It's still a _lot_ of money_."

I assumed Michael would be wondering why Krystal hadn't responded aloud, but I managed to find the one I was after before he asked any questions. In the simulator, this hadn't been the fastest, but it hit its top speed the quickest, and it could turn better than almost any other board. It could also apparently jump pretty well, and it hardly slowed down at all when going uphill. It still couldn't take me straight up a wall, but I figured Slippy could help me there.

I took the light board off of the wall with a smile, and held it at arm's length, inspecting it now that I wasn't in a simulation. It was only about two feet long, shaped like a pair of circles, but I knew it was expandable; a handle on one side, with a button to expand it, gave that away. I turned the red board over, and saw the oddly familiar blue circles on the bottom that let it hover. And just to test it out, I hit the button. It nearly doubled in length with a soft _shink_, and I dropped it, letting it come to a rest a foot or so off of the ground. It didn't let off a whirring sound while hovering, but I didn't mind the silence.

"Good choice," the owl said as I collapsed it with the same button. "You actually lookin' to buy?"

"Yeah. This is the one," I said, turning toward him.

"You want a carrying clip with that?" he asked, moving behind a cash register of some kind.

"A what?" I asked.

"It sticks to the clothes on your back, and holds the board when you aren't using it. It's another fifty credits, though."

"I've got a little extra cash," I said, handing him the board so he could do the transaction. "I'll take it."

"Good choice, my friend. Good choice," he said, distracted by the apparently complicated procedure.

_Krystal? The money, please_, I thought, hoping she was listening. After a few seconds of silence, I turned around and saw her looking through some other kind of devices. Many of them looked a little bit like hoverboards, but they were all only big enough for one foot. _Hoverskates?_ I wondered.

"Krystal?" I asked to get her attention.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," she said, holding the money bag toward me.

"What, you want a pair?"

"I do," Michael said. I ignored him.

"Well, I don't want to impose..."

"Just pick a set out," I told her. "I'm splurging."

"Are you buying me something, too?" Michael asked.

"Your mother would _kill_ me," I replied. The shopkeeper called out a price, but I didn't quite catch it. I just reached into the bag, grabbed a fairly large chip, and handed it to him. He took it with wide eyes and apparently started working out the change.

"I don't know which to get," Krystal said. "I didn't do the simulator like you did."

"We've got time," I told her. "Go ahead and do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I've still got to figure this little carrying clip out."

"Well...okay. I'll be right back," she said, heading back toward the simulators.

"That your girl?" the owl asked once she was out of earshot.

"...yeah," I said.

"Nice," he said, handing me the change. Part of me wanted to proudly agree, but the other part wanted to punch him in the face. "She got an older sister? Like eighteen, twenty..."

"I don't think so. And no, I'm not going to check."

"Fine, whatever. Look, here's your board," he said, handing it back. "And here's the clip," he added, handing me a smallish cylinder. It had four buttons on it, and a white light on one side. "It's pretty simple. Push the buttons, twist, and pull it apart."

After setting the board on the store's front desk, I listened to his simple instructions, and it came apart smoothly. Once that was done, I found that both halves had a light, but one of the halves was much smaller than the other, with tiny teeth all around the outer edge.

"This one," he said, pointing to the smaller of the two, "goes inside your jacket. It'll stick to the other through your jacket, and then your board will stick to that. People used to complain that the board wouldn't stay still very well, so this one has a really small gyroscope that...basically, it'll correct itself. Now, it'll be fastest if you take your jacket off."

"I've got it," I said, pulling my left arm into the sleeve. I twisted my arm behind my back, and managed to stick the device against the back of the jacket. Before Michael could help, I twisted my other arm around, too, and connected the two.

"Now push the buttons again, and twist. You should hear a little beep to tell you that it worked."

"Crap," I said, twisting my head around. I'd managed to connect the two, but I could barely grip the outer one, much less push its buttons. "Michael, help."

"Yeah?"

"Do what he said with the one you can see."

"What about the other one?"

"I've got that one."

"Well, okay," he said, grabbing the device. I let go and pulled my jacket down to make it easier on my left arm. "What'd he say to do again?"

"Push the buttons and twist."

"Got it," he said, doing just that. I heard the beep and let go, pushing my arm back out my sleeve. I grabbed the board again and tried to get it to attach to the clip.

"Other way," the owl said. I flipped it around, and the board stuck with a click. "There you go. And just hit the button on the handle's side to take it back off."

"There are two buttons?" I asked, grabbing the handle again. I found it with my thumb, and when I pressed it, the board came off smoothly. "Cool," I whispered, looking it over again. "_My_ hoverboard."

"Whew!" Krystal sighed, reentering the main room. She leaned against me, feigning dizziness. "_That's completely different when the helmet's on you._"

"_I know,_" I told her. "Ready to pick out your...skates?"

"I sure am," she replied. "I already held them, too." She picked up a pair of green and yellow skates and held them up. "Do they have these in blue?"

"Well," the owl said, "we can do a recolor, but it takes a few minutes."

"Can we?" she asked, looking at me imploringly.

"If you want. It's not like we could possibly take longer than Katherine."

* * *

Krystal walked out of the shop ten minutes later with a high-tech device on each shoe. Apparently, the skates she'd chosen could expand, too, and they stayed out of the way by becoming a shell for the wearer's shoes. I was almost regretting my own choice, wishing I'd taken the more versatile skates, but I convinced myself that I would make the same choice again. And as we left the store, she was thanking me repeatedly.

"You're welcome," I said simply. "_Not like it's my money, anyway_."

"Are we allowed to try these out in the mall?" Krystal asked.

"No," Michael said. "And even though they're supposed to be water resistant, I wouldn't use them in the rain, either."

"That's no fun," Krystal said, letting her ears droop.

"I didn't think you were the skater type," I said.

"I didn't think you were, either," she replied.

"I'm not."

"And neither am I."

"Touché."

"Hey, guys," Katherine called. She wasn't carrying as much as I'd thought she would be, but then again, the store she'd entered wasn't a big one. Still, she had two bags filled with clothing and accessories, which was surprising given how long she'd been in there.

"You went into _one_ store," Michael said.

"So did you. And look what store that was."

"Hey, I didn't spend a credit."

"But looks like Ditto did," she said, noticing the board on my back.

"Yeah. And he's _loaded_," Michael said.

"I am not," I told them.

"_You kinda are_," Krystal said.

"_Maybe, but they don't need to know that_."

"Then how did you afford that?" she asked before noticing Krystal's skates. "Or should I say 'those'?"

"I...uh..." I stammered. My mind had once again left me.

"You like them?" Krystal asked, looking down at her own shoes. She gave a short hop, and the skates turned on, stopping her in midair.

"Hey!" a security dog nearby growled. "None of that, now."

"Sorry," Krystal said, before pointing her toes up. The action turned the skates off, and she landed softly on the ground again.

"I guess so," Katherine said, setting her bags down on a nearby bench. "But I still want to know –"

"Hey, human!" someone shouted. I turned toward the voice. "Why don't you go back to earth where you belong?!" the black hawk asked, eliciting a laugh from the frog and feline around him.

"Ignore him," Krystal said, and I turned toward her with a confused expression.

"Is that supposed to make me feel bad?" I asked.

"Hey, kid!" the hawk shouted again. "What are you doing here? Mommy and daddy weave you aww awone?" he asked in a mocking voice.

"Hey, why not get a life?" Michael shouted.

"Mike..." Katherine warned.

"We ain't got no problem with you," the hawk said. "It's your little friend there. What, couldn't find enough things to wreck on earth, so you came to Corneria?"

"I don't have a problem with you," I told him. "Keep it that way."

"What'd you say?" he asked, stomping toward me. "I'm not about to let some human _scum_ tell me what to do!"

"What's your problem?" I asked.

"_Ditto, we need to get out of here,_" Krystal warned.

"Maybe it's you," he said, standing toe-to-toe with me. Despite his ruffled feathers, I wasn't intimidated at all; he was half a head shorter than me.

"Do something," I invited. Just as I was sure he was about to call my bluff and lay me on my backside, he glanced behind me, toward the security guard.

"Maybe we should take this outside," he said.

"I have better things to do," I replied, taking a step back.

"Whatever," he replied, brushing past me and bumping my shoulder. He muttered something under his breath, but I only caught the P in the word, followed by an S sound. "Let's go!" he shouted, and his pair of friends caught up with him. I watched them enter the shop we'd just left, and I shook my head.

"Does that happen often?" Katherine asked.

"I was about to ask you. Those could be some of the first anti-human Cornerians I've met."

"Yeah," Michael said nervously, scratching his feathery head.

"Well, why didn't you fight that guy?" Katherine asked.

"It wouldn't have done anything. Besides, I would have probably lost."

"Most guys would still do it. If it had been anyone else at school, that hawk would need a new beak."

"I guess Ditto's special," Krystal said.

"_In more ways than they realize_," I said.

"_Well, not everyone needs to know that you're rich, psychic, and magical._"

"_But...none of that is true._"

"_You really are rich, you know the future, and you can do those little...'sin' things._"

"So, where are you going next?" Katherine asked, unknowingly interrupting a conversation.

"We're just gonna walk around," Michael said. "I'll see if Ditto will buy me some video games."

"Good luck with that," I told him.

"So, where should we meet?" Katherine asked. "Food court? Say...noon?"

"Yeah, food court at noon. How original," Michael said.

"That'll work," I said. "As long as someone knows where that food court is."

"I do," Michael said. "Now, let's get –" he began, when the hawk from before skated out of the shop on a hoverboard. His friends rushed out a moment later, each one also on a board.

"Stop them!" the shopkeeper shouted. The security guard scowled their way and sprinted after them, but by comparison, he may as well have been riding a turtle.

"_Should we help?_" I asked Krystal silently. Her response was to hop up, turn on her skates, and speed after the thieves.

"What are you doing?" Michael asked as I turned on my own board and dropped it on the ground.

"I have no idea," I told him, before leaning forward. The board took the cue and shot forward fast enough to leave me behind, had I not been ready for it.

"Hey!" the security guard shouted when I passed him. I slowed down and hovered beside him while he ran.

"We're trying to help," I explained.

"That's my job," he growled. "And I don't want you kids to get hurt."

"Well, I'm not just going to watch them get away with this."

"Grr...fine. Just help the other guards apprehend them. Don't try to do it yourself, okay?"

"Fair enough," I replied, before speeding up again. Krystal had gotten quite a ways ahead of me, but she had gained on the thieves, too. But the whole mall was shaped like a triangle, and the thieves had nearly reached an exit. "We'll never reach them," I muttered fighting an odd feeling of disappointment. To my surprise, though, they didn't go through the doors. Instead, they took a sharp turn and continued fleeing.

"What are they up to?" I asked myself as I made the same turn. Dodging people constantly, I caught up with Krystal, who was beginning to get tired.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Why aren't they leaving? It's almost like they want –" she began, when two of the three jumped into a hole that led to the next floor. "Ditto!" she shouted. "Skates can't take a fall like that!"

"Got it," I replied, heading straight for the hole. _Please don't be far, please don't be far, please don't be far_, I thought, before jumping over the handrail. It didn't end up being too far, and the hoverboard took the landing well. I spied the two thieves, and I leaned forward again. I had to continue to dodge people, but once they saw the commotion down the hallway, they rushed out of the way, making it easier on both me and the thieves. Still, my board was slightly faster, and I was slowly gaining on them.

"Well, look who it is," the hawk said, turning to face me. "Thought you'd gone home to mommy."

"Yeah, and I thought you weren't dumb enough to rob the mall," I called forward.

"Your witty comebacks could use some wit," the other kid, a bluish frog, said without turning.

"Witty...you just robbed someone! This isn't a tea party! Now give those back!"

"Give those back!" the hawk mocked. "Jeez, you sound just like my mother."

"She ever tell you to look where you're going?" I asked.

"Yeah, a couple times – woah!" he said, looking forward and narrowly dodging a small stand. A security guard had noticed the commotion, and managed to tackle him off of the board before he could get away. I focused on the only one left, and sped toward him.

"One down!" I shouted, hoping to scare the frog. It apparently worked, because after turning around and giving a gasp, he sped up and jumped into another hole. _How deep is this mall?_ I wondered, still following him. I hit the ground surprisingly softly, and had to pull a U-turn to follow the frog.

"Just give up!" I shouted across the sparsely-populated bottom floor.

"I can't!" he shouted.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't stop now! I'm already a criminal!"

"You'll be in less trouble if they don't have to chase you all around the mall."

"None of this was my idea!" he shouted. "It was all Duke! He made me do it!"

"And you can explain that to the guards. Just don't make me take you down."

"Leave me alone!" he shouted, turning around again. I shook my head and kept at it.

"Why do you even follow that guy?" I asked.

"I don't have a choice!" he shouted back.

"There's always a choice."

"No there isn't!" he said, before making a hard left. He crashed through the "No admittance" door there, and I followed him quickly. What greeted me was a bare white hallway, lit from above by fluorescent tubes. I saw him make a right turn, and I followed cautiously. Once I reached the turn, I glanced around the corner, and saw him look at me in surprise, before dashing through another door.

"What, does he have a map?" I asked under my breath. I mentally marked the door he'd passed through, and hopped off of the board once I came to it.

I reached for the doorknob, but the door was yanked open, making me recoil in surprise. A blue hand reached out of the room, grabbed my shirt's collar, and pulled me into the room, banging my head on a wall in the process. I sat up slowly and watched him retreat through the door, before slamming it shut.

"Ow," I said, rubbing my head. I turned toward the wall I'd hit, and saw thick glass. "What the –"

"Oh, good. You fell for it," I heard. I turned toward the voice, and saw the feline who had been with Duke. The room he was standing in was mostly dark, so I figured whatever store it was had been closed.

"What's going on here?" I asked, standing.

"Not much. We're just cleaning up the planet."

_Somehow I don't think they're talking about janitorial work_, I thought. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. He didn't respond, but I saw a door outside of the glass open, and the blue frog came out.

"I think the boss'll be happy," he said.

"I don't think so," I said confidently, "I'm pretty sure _Duke_ isn't going anywhere."

The feline snickered, then looked at the frog, before both burst into laughter.

"Duke?" the cat asked. "You told him that his name's Duke?"

"I know! He believed it, too. Ohh...I fed him this whole sob story. 'I'm innocent, it's all his idea...' He ate it up."

"What are you talking about?" I asked angrily, hitting the glass almost noiselessly.

"I can explain," I heard from the same door that the frog had come through. I turned to see the hawk, and he was really starting to get on my nerves.

"You got caught. I saw you," I said.

"Please. These rent-a-cops? They hardly know which end of a gun to hold."

I sighed. "Then tell me, what the heck is going on around here?"

"Or what? You'll go all 'Hulk smash'? You're not going anywhere."

I looked around, and saw that he was right. The glass that trapped me in circled back to the brick wall behind me, and the door had all but disappeared into the wall. Above me, a metal grating sat, weighed down on each side by a hunk of metal.

"That there's a full ton of metal holding you down. If you can move that, you deserve to live."

"Live?" I asked in surprise. "As in, I could die?"

"Well, unless you grow gills in the next few minutes, I think so," he said, nodding. I looked around again, and finally took note of the decorations in the small room. Fishes painted on the wall. Fake seaweed and sand on the ground. _I'm in an aquarium_, I thought with horror.

"What the – why would you do this?" I asked, fighting panic.

"Didn't someone already tell you? You're a _human_," he spat the word out. "You arrogant bastards destroy everything, and Corneria's only the next stop on your conquest. Well, not if I have anything to say about it."

"You're insane!" I shouted. "I'm not part of any war! Most of my friends are Cornerians!"

_At least, the ones that currently exist_, I thought.

"I don't believe that," he said with a sneer. "I'll bet you bribed those other three just to hang out with you."

"Come on, can't we talk about this?"

"No! I'm finished talking to your kind. Now, come on, you two. Let's give him something to drink."

"No, no, no," I said, starting to panic. Water began to fill the aquarium slowly, and I saw all three Cornerians walk out the door.

"Hold on," I told myself. "Keep your head. It's not like anything in this universe can hurt you," I said, rolling up my left sleeve. I glanced at my wrist, and felt my jaw drop. The two marks were there, of course, but they had gone dark. Now, they looked like ordinary scars.

"It doesn't mean..." I began, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Instead, I closed my eyes, and tried to reach into that pool of never-ending power. But when I would normally feel a rush of energy and near-omnipresent awareness, I felt nothing. I looked at my arm again and fell to the ground in disbelief.

"I...I can't get out..." I said quietly as the water slowly drew higher.

* * *

**A/N**: GASP! Ain't I a stinker? Well, Ditto's in a heap of trouble. And considering I wrote this passage yesterday, he'd be dead in real-time. But good thing it's not real time, yeah? Otherwise that simulator would have lasted a whole week.

Two marks...he _did_ have two marks, right?

Anyway, there is a good reason Ditto's _Sins_ aren't working, and it's not just phlebotinum. Okay, maybe it is, but I do have a reason. What is that reason? I guess you'll find out later. Besides, if he can just get out of any situation, it makes it less suspenseful.

Again, I'd like to thank reviewers, followers, and even the person reading this right now. You don't have to leave a review, but if you "follow" the story, it makes my day. Not to mention, you'll be informed as soon as my updates become less sporadic.


	21. Chapter 21: Real Danger

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters, settings, or whatnot. Most of the stuff is the property of Nintendo, and if not, XxSanitariumxX. And anything else, you're free to use as you see fit.

Before I forget: shout-out to those awesome guys who favorited/followed the story! That's a lot of my motivation, though at this point, I don't need much. Doing a once-a-week update is easy, especially with only 4000 words apiece. But either way, thanks a lot.

Ha ha ha! It's Sunday, and that means...update day! At least, for now it does. When we last saw Ditto, he was evidently trapped in an aquarium of some sort, with a ton of metal holding him in and water slowly filling up his soon-to-be resting place. Does he make it out? Will he die, and if he does, will the "game" restart itself? Let's find out, shall we?

* * *

"It's okay," I told myself optimistically. "It's alright. Krystal will be here. She'll open the door, and I'll be alright." But even as I said it, I didn't believe it. She was probably looking through the mall for me, sure, but she wouldn't think to check in a closed store, or in the white halls behind the stores.

"And besides," I continued, "it's not like I can really die. This whole thing will just restart." The words once again failed to calm me, though. _The _Sins_ aren't working, what if that doesn't either?_

I stood up, if only to stop my backside from getting even wetter, and began to look more closely for a way out. In the corners, the curved glass wall met the hard back wall flawlessly, and I saw no way of breaking the seam with what I currently had at my disposal. As for the door in the back, I could only grip it through a hairline gap in the wall, and I was fairly certain they'd barred the door shut anyway. I had no chance of digging, because I found a solid floor under the fake sand, and no matter how many holes I dug, I didn't find any sort of hatch. By this time the water was up to my waist, and I pulled my iPod out of my pocket to save it.

I turned my attention to the grating over my head next. It wasn't supposed to be there; the guys had just thrown it there and piled scrap metal on top. And despite my attempts at forcing it, I couldn't move any single piece of the metal above my head over an inch. I did manage to balance the iPod on top of the wall, but the space there was under an inch, and much too small to escape through.

_My hoverboard_, I thought, only hoping to save it from the water. I did hope it was waterproof, but I couldn't be sure, so I tried to take it off of my back. When I pushed the button, though, it didn't detach. After a few tries at forcing it, I just took off the whole clip. But it didn't stop acting odd; the clip wouldn't stick together again, and the hoverboard itself refused to activate.

"What the..." I began, wondering why nothing seemed to be working. I pressed a button on the translator, which didn't react, before I reached up for the iPod again and pushed the button on top. Nothing.

"What, do they have an EMP?" I asked myself, before replacing the iPod. "And since when does that affect the _Sins_?"

I sighed and looked down as my mind raced to find another way out. I couldn't find one, though. I couldn't go up, I couldn't go down, and I couldn't go through the walls. I could hardly make any noise, because no matter how hard I beat my fists against the walls, I couldn't hear anything but the quiet thud of flesh against an immovable surface.

"Come on," I said to myself as I hit the glass anyway, "Come on! There has to be a way out!"

But in that moment, it dawned on me. This wasn't a video game. This wasn't a movie. Some people had wanted me dead, only because I was a human. I fell into their simple, but effective trap. And by the time anyone found me, it would be far too late.

"No," I whispered, letting my arms and the hoverboard fall into the water. "It can't be over. Not like this," I said softly as despair gripped my heart. "God, please. I need help."

Just as the water reached my chest, the light out in the store flickered. It caught my attention, and I stared at it as a strange hope welled up within me. It didn't flicker again, though I knew there was something about it that spelled a way out. The hoverboard, which was floating on top of the water, bumped into my arm, and I looked at it suddenly.

_The EMP_, I thought excitedly. _It has to be short-range_. I looked around and noticed a fake plastic castle, about three feet tall, which I hadn't noted before. I waded toward it and grabbed it, pulling up as hard as I could. The castle refused to budge. "What the –" I began, before taking a breath and ducking under the water. I felt around the base of the castle under the sand, and felt uneven bumps in the metal I found. _They welded it there_, I thought, confident I'd found the way out. I surfaced, and glared down at the castle.

"I don't know who put that there," I told myself, before kicking the top of it with a grunt. The force pushed me back, so I braced myself against the wall. "I don't know how they did it," I said, kicking with more force. I felt the castle move quite a bit. I ducked underwater and braced both feet against the castle. _But they attacked the wrong guy_, I thought, kicking as hard as I could. The plastic cracked open, but bent back into shape almost immediately. I swam forward and pushed it aside, looking inside.

_That's definitely out of place_, I thought, staring at the metallic device within. I reached in and grabbed it, pulling it out with some effort. Once it was in my hand, I surfaced again and stared at it triumphantly.

"Not today!" I shouted happily, throwing it against the far wall as hard as I could. It didn't break like I'd hoped, but I didn't need it to. I grabbed my things and backed as far away as I could, smiling as the glow slowly returned to the marks on my wrist. Without hesitating, I reached into the pool of power, resisting the urge to sigh in relief when I felt it again. In that one second of limitless power, I had only one thought.

_Make me safe_.

The next thing I knew, I was lying out in the white hallway once more, breathing heavily and fighting a sudden nausea. I forced myself up onto all fours, but collapsed after only a second when the third mark emblazoned itself on my wrist.

"Aagh!" I shouted, clenching that fist and rolling over in pain. I waited for it to end, gritting my teeth in silence. It slowly subsided, and I rolled onto my back, letting my expression soften more slowly. But I couldn't stay gruff for long.

"I'm alive," I said, closing my eyes. A smile came across my face, and for some reason, I was suddenly giddy. I chuckled softly, and then let out a short laugh, before I collapsed in a fit of laughter. Before long, I was roaring with laughter, mostly at myself, for having such a sudden fit of laughter. But I didn't care how odd it must have looked. I have no idea how long I carried on like that, but I only stopped when someone put a hand on my shoulder.

"Woah!" I shouted, turning around as the mirth suddenly left me. I saw Krystal, who was pulling her hand back in surprise. "Oh, it's you," I said, smiling again.

"Are you okay?" she asked nervously as I sat against the wall. "I sensed that you were in danger..."

"Never better," I replied with a laugh, showing her the three marks. "Never better."

"What...What happened? Why are you so wet?"

I looked up at her as the laughter subsided for the last time. "They tried to kill me. Drown me, I guess."

"Oh, my – are you sure you're alright?" she asked. I looked down and fought the emotion choking me up all of a sudden.

"I almost died," I said with a cracking voice. "But," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'm okay now."

"Are you sure?" she asked, kneeling in front of me. I nodded. She sighed and sat against the opposite wall. "I'm sorry," she said after a few seconds' silence.

"What for?" I asked.

"Chasing those losers. I shouldn't have done it. I should have let security handle it," she said as tears welled in her eyes.

"They didn't do anything, though," I said. "I saw that hawk get caught, but he got away."

"Still...and I shouldn't have left you, either. I knew something was wrong, but...that cat's thoughts were so confusing..."

"It isn't your fault," I told her, leaning forward and putting a hand on her shoulder. Through her mind, I felt what she'd felt. The concern she showed for me struck me in no small way, and I leaned back slowly. "It's those three idiots' faults. I really hope I get the chance to meet them again."

"Oh, I'll tell Miyu about them," she said with a sudden anger. "If she leaves anything behind, I'll be sure to let you have the second chance at it."

"I'll take it," I said mirthlessly. "Just don't blame yourself. I should have stopped when they came back here."

"You couldn't have known..." she said. With that, the hallway went quiet, and somewhat awkwardly so. She looked down and waited for something, but I was lost in thought. Once I finally snapped out of it, I looked up at her, which made her look up as well.

"How'd you find me, anyway?" I asked.

"I...I heard your distress. Fear is one of the louder emotions."

"Yeah," I said idly, before standing.

"Ditto," she said, looking down without standing.

"Hmm?"

She looked up with watery eyes. "I...I thought I was going to lose you..."

"Hey," I replied, kneeling beside her. "I'm fine."

"But you weren't," she said as tears ran down her cheeks. "I felt your thoughts. You almost -"

I put a finger to her lips, silencing her. "I'm okay now. That's what's important."

She stared at me with a trembling jaw for a few seconds, before leaning forward and putting her arms around my neck. Once I got my balance back, I returned the gesture, and we sat like that until our thoughts sorted themselves (and each others' selves) out. Before long, I found myself stroking her fur, though I wasn't sure whether she'd find the gesture odd. It didn't cross her mind, so I assumed it would be alright to continue. Eventually, she took a deep breath and pushed herself upright.

"Maybe we should find Mike and Kat," I said with some hesitation. She sighed.

"All the way back up on the third floor," she said.

"Yeah. But, y'know...we could take our time," I suggested.

"That could be your first good idea today," she said, before giggling and wiping her eyes.

"Yeah," I said, collecting the things I'd dropped and walking slowly down the hallway. "You think we can both stay out of danger tomorrow?"

"Didn't you say that yesterday?" she asked.

"Yeah. And we didn't succeed."

"Well, maybe we should stay together more. You know...keep each other safe."

"That reminds me," I said, deflecting the statement, "You can get a phone if you want."

I heard her sigh, but she kept her thoughts to herself. "Okay," she said idly. I got the odd feeling I'd made a mistake somehow.

_This is why I'm bad with relationships_, I thought.

"Just so, you know, we could keep in touch," I said, hoping to salvage the situation.

"In case one of us gets in danger?" she asked knowingly.

"There may me more reasons," I replied.

"Like?"

"Oh, come on, Krystal. You're my best friend on Corneria. Heck, I'm pretty sure you're my _girlfriend_. And for all I know, all my other friends died seven hundred years ago. Who else would I want to talk to over the weekends?"

"Pretty sure?" she asked, humored. I held in my sigh. _The bomb has been disarmed_.

"_I heard that,_" she said, elbowing me.

"Heard what? I didn't say anything," I said with a snicker. I managed to get her to laugh, while earning myself another hit. We turned toward the exit, and she slowed down slightly.

"You okay?" I asked, walking backwards.

"Hmm?" she hummed, looking up. "Oh. Yeah. Everything's fine."

"Oh, no. No you don't," I said, stopping and effectively blocking her path.

"What?"

"'Fine' doesn't really mean fine. Now come on, open up."

"Ditto, it's nothing."

"Does that mean 'nothing' nothing or is that 'I don't want to say it because it's taking a chance' nothing?"

She stared at me like she was uncertain whether I was serious, but her silence spoke volumes.

"Well?" I asked, offering her my free hand. She rolled her eyes, but took it, and we continued down the hall slowly.

"_Well?_" I repeated impatiently.

"_Calm down,_" she replied.

"_Oh, _I'm_ sorry. I nearly died, and now you're telling _me_ to calm down?_"

"_Hey, I almost died yesterday, and nobody had to tell me to calm down._"

"_You were sedated. And the day before that, we both almost died. And you were the one acting crazy._"

"_Maybe if we had fewer near-death experiences, I could learn to enjoy your company,_" she said, but I caught the sarcasm.

"_Well, I'll just see about that, then_," I replied. We passed through the doors at the end of the hall and came back into the mall, but Krystal didn't bring up what she'd been thinking about before.

"How are you going to explain that to the others?" she asked.

"Explain what?"

"You're still wet."

"Oh, that," I said, looking down. "We'll just say I fell into a fountain or something."

"Is there a fountain in the mall?"

I shrugged and dropped the iPod into my pocket. "But it works as an excuse. Now, c'mon. Help me put this back on," I said, handing her half of the hoverboard's clip.

"This is still wet, too," she said as I pried the other half off of the hoverboard.

"Yeah," I agreed, looking back and forth between the two pieces. I made her trade with me, before pulling my arm in and positioning the inner clip once more. "That's what happens when they try drowning you."

"Maybe we shouldn't bring it up again," she said, attaching the two halves of the clip. I turned to face her and replaced the hoverboard on my back.

"On one condition," I said, doing my best to hide my thoughts even though I didn't know how.

"And what's that?" she asked.

"You race me to Mike and Kat," I said with a smile. She mulled it over for a few moments, then looked at me uncertainly.

"We're not supposed to use these inside," she said, gesturing to her feet.

"We did a public service. They'll get over it."

"Oh," she said, looking down nervously.

"Hey, if you don't want to –" I began, when she suddenly leaned toward me and planted a kiss on my cheek. My eyes widened, and by the time I shook myself and realized what had happened, she had gotten a few seconds' head start.

"Hey, no fair!" I shouted, reaching for my hoverboard. My hand grasped only air, and I turned my head to make sure. I looked forward again, and saw Krystal taunting me, holding the hoverboard over her head triumphantly.

"You little cheater!" I shouted, running toward her as she turned and fled.

* * *

"You got lucky," she told me again as, reunited with Kat and Mike, we approached the food court. Earlier, I had tried catching her for a good ten minutes, before I realized she was just trolling me. At that point, I decided to look for Mike and Kat, and I happened to meet them as soon as I reached the top of the escalator I'd chosen. Krystal had only found us after another ten minutes or so, telling us that she'd gotten in trouble for skating indoors. She returned the hoverboard, and I'd held the result of the "race" over her head since that point.

"And you _cheated_. Badly," I told her with a laugh.

"I did not," she said. "All I did was show you how I felt."

"Oh, I'm not mad about that part," I assured her, eliciting a giggle, "I'm mad about the whole 'stealing my hoverboard' thing."

"Why? I only took the opportunity you gave me."

"Get a room," Michael groaned.

"What?" I asked with a laugh.

"Don't mind him," Katherine said. "He's just mad because he _chose_ to follow me into a store while you were gone."

"You went shopping during that time?" Krystal asked.

"Of course she did," Michael said. "She's a shopping machine. I only went because I didn't want all four of us to split up."

"Sure you did," Katherine said with a smirk. "Of _course_ that's why you went with me."

"Well, I definitely didn't go to shop for a pretty pink dress," he countered. He turned to me. "Those were her exact words, by the way."

"I never said that," she protested.

"You said 'This dress is such a pretty shade of pink.' I heard you."

"There's a difference between 'pretty pink dress' and 'a dress with a pretty shade of pink'," she said.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "They sound pretty much the same to me."

"That's because you have no fashion sense," she told me.

"Oh, really?" I asked as the gears in the back of my head started to turn. "Well, then can you have a pretty pink dress that's an ugly shade of pink?"

"No," she replied, making both me and Michael laugh. "But you can have a nice color on an ugly outfit."

"Oh," I said, suddenly feeling outwitted. "Then the dress looked bad?"

"No," she said. I snickered. "I didn't buy it, either way. I don't really do dresses."

"Then why go into the store?" I asked as we entered the food court. "Or did they sell more than –"

I stopped when I looked around, feeling suddenly out-of-place. The mass of tables in the center area was familiar. The holo-screens overhead were new, but they didn't feel too unusual. Even the brightly colored signs surrounding the tables weren't new. But the combination of anthropomorphic animals instead of people staring at me and the foreign language on every sign made no little impact on me. It was a few seconds before I realized how many people were staring at me.

At least two small children pointed me out to their parents. Another three or four people within earshot were asking simple (and simple-minded) questions about whether I was actually here, and how I would eat the food I would buy. A few families simply pretended I wasn't there at all. But I silently thanked those who didn't notice, didn't care, or at least treated me like I wasn't an alien, which actually made up more than half of the food court.

"...just like to look around," Katherine was finishing, oblivious to my surprise. She abruptly stopped walking and turned toward the three of us. "Does everyone have enough money?" she asked. Michael and I nodded right away, but Krystal waited for my reaction before nodding. "Good," Katherine continued. "Just get what you want and look for someone else," she said, before turning away and heading toward what looked like some sort of sandwich shop.

"So, what do you want?" Krystal asked after Michael left.

"Pizza!" I said right away.

"Well, okay then," she said, leading me to one of the stores.

The meal was good. The store turned out to be more like Pizza Hut than any other franchise I knew, and that made me quite pleased. I couldn't have gotten more cheese on the pizza they sold me, and I surprised (and possibly disgusted) everyone but Michael with how much of it I ate in one sitting. Everyone but Katherine ended up having at least a little bit, and we didn't take any leftovers out of the food court.

Once that was done, we resumed (or "began") our shopping day. Even though I didn't really like shopping, and Michael agreed with me, all four of us had a good time. Katherine got _way_ too many clothing items, or whatever was in those bags, and by the end of the day she needed help from me and Mike just to carry it. Michael himself ended up getting a few games, though most of the names, consoles, and series were unfamiliar to me. And I still couldn't find a single reference to Star Fox in the whole store. _That would make too much Meta_, I reasoned, before dropping the subject.

Krystal and I surprisingly bought the least of anyone during the second half of the day. I got her the phone, which apparently came with less strings attached than on earth, and she chose a few minor accessories. We spent half the day fiddling with that device, along with my own translator, and eventually got the two to send messages between each other.

Krystal would have bought more, but something stopped her, and she didn't tell me what it was. She seemed particularly interested in jewelry, but she just about forbade my buying of it for her. Still, I decided I liked her, and money really wasn't an object, so I bought the necklace she'd been eyeing once I was alone in the shop. I planned to stash it somewhere and give it to her when the time was right, whenever that would end up being.

Overall, the rest of the day was surprisingly tame. Nobody tried to kidnap, sedate, or murder any of us again, so it technically went without incident. Sure, someone tried to con me out of everything in one of the bags I was holding, but Krystal came through and saved me. Again. Otherwise, it went well. We only stopped when Katherine couldn't hold any more, and she called Joanne to come and get us. She was only too happy to oblige, and we made it all the way back home without getting in an accident. Sometime around then, I decided to be more optimistic.

About an hour later, after the novelty of finding and sorting everything we'd purchased wore off, Joanne decided it was time for Krystal to go home. She agreed reluctantly, and Michael _conveniently_ asked me to try out his co-op games with him. Sitting in the living area, I couldn't help but stare at Krystal as she was exiting the house. We made eye contact and each managed a weak wave, but once the door closed, I sighed. Suddenly, it felt like something was missing.

"Hey, loverboy!" Michael said, gesturing to the ready system and television, "Let's go already."

"Oh, don't get yer knickers in a tizzy!" I shouted with a thick fake accent. It put just enough weirdness into the room so that he didn't notice my reaction to his statement. I stared out the window at Joanne's car as it pulled away, and sighed wistfully once more.

* * *

**A/N**: Okay, I'm sorry with the "only once a week" updates. Heart's Illusion (my primary [and totally original] story) is on round ten out of ten in the arena, so as a note to my reader(s): Just bear with me! A week or two, and I should have it done and my cousin sated. Then I can return to this story, though every-other-day updates may never be recovered. Thrice a week shouldn't be too much. I think. (I wouldn't get my hopes up.)

Okay, now about the story itself. I kinda enjoyed writing this chapter, and the minor religious sentiment near the beginning wasn't there in the first few iterations. But the point is, there's something about that device that stopped up Ditto's _Sins_. And yeah, I actually have a reasonable explanation for the whole _Sin_ and dimensional travel thing. Sharp will probably be the one to unveil it. (Though, I don't have a good explanation for the _way_ I write _Sin_: capitalized and italicized. Maybe so that you know it's the Sin of the Unforgotten and not just a normal sin, like robbery or murder. It's important to make that distinction.)

Also, believe it or not, I really toned down the romance in _this_ chapter. I nearly had Ditto make out with Krystal once they were reunited, but my subconscious said "No, they wouldn't do that." But this chapter took longer than I anticipated to write. Still, it didn't take too long, I guess. A day or two's work is pretty much what you see up there. And I only finished it on the day I uploaded it. (That statement will make more sense on Monday, but it won't make as much Sunday.)

I'll be entering a chapter that will be a little (lot) romance-y. Yes, it's Ditto*Krystal. Because at this point, doing it Fox*Krystal would mean Ditto*Miyu, and...I'm not sure he would survive that relationship. There are other options, if Fox*Krystal is in popular demand, like Melina (not likely), Miyu (already mentioned), Fara (I could live with this...), Melissa (yikes!), and even Katherine (she's not _technically_ related...), but since I only have a few readers, and even fewer reviewers, it shall continue as it is. So, hey, don't come crying to me if the story takes a turn you don't like.

Leave a review, favorite, follow, and above all else, no puppy-kicking this week.

EDIT: Okay, edited to appease a reviewer. Turns out, Krystal WAS more worried about Ditto.


	22. Chapter 22: Romance

**Disclaimer**: Don't be a noob. Keep it off YouTube. No, wait...wrong thing. I own nothing. I may eventually own something, but not yet. And for some reason, people like reading the words I write. I don't know why. I suspect sorcery.

Alright, barely finished in time, and containing a little less romance than I intended, here's this week's update. Heart's Illusion has had no progress this past week. Sadly, something else has taken much of my time, and it's not productive by any means. But enough about my boring life; here's the next chapter of Ditto's slightly-less-boring life.

* * *

A few hours later, I was in a rather melancholy mood, staring out the window at the steadily growing storm outside. I fell into such states fairly easily, and when opportunities presented themselves, I could literally spend hours musing. I must have spent quite a few minutes standing there, and it probably disconcerted the only other person in the house, who was watching television behind me. I wasn't pondering life's deeper mysteries or anything; I was only wondering how the avian races on Corneria made such a variety of sounds without lips. I had it down to two explanations: either their language registered properly in the translator, and I only _heard_ all those sounds, which they weren't actually speaking, or the obvious second choice; sorcery.

"Maybe I'll flip a coin," I mumbled, reaching into my pocket.

"Hmm?" the person behind me hummed.

"Nothing," I replied, realizing I didn't have any coins with me. The mystery would have to wait to be solved.

"What are you doing over there, anyway?" she asked. "You've been there for half an hour."

"Have I?" I asked, turning to face her. Before she could reply, my translator beeped with a new message. I pulled it up right away, unaware of how rude that probably was, and saw that Eli had sent it.

"Great," I mumbled, opening the message.

"What's it say?" she asked.

"Eli's not going to be coming. His mom doesn't want to see him driving in this weather; apparently Corneria's dangerous enough."

"I'm not surprised," she said, leaning back. "He was supposed to be here an hour ago."

"I know. And I'm not surprised either," I said, staring at her knowingly. "Are you sure you didn't have anything to do with it?"

"What?" she asked, "Me?"

"Krystal, I know you," I replied. She flicked her ears and returned her attention to the television, trying poorly to hide her smile. "And your parents were supposed to get back around the time Eli was. Did you have anything to do with _that_?"

"I can't control the weather," she replied, looking back at me. "Now are you going to help me pick out a movie, or do you want to keep watching the rain?"

"Compared to Cornerian movies?" I asked with a smirk. "I'd almost rather watch the grass grow."

"What's wrong with Cornerian movies?" she asked.

"Oh, come on," I said sarcastically, before realizing she was serious. _She hasn't been here long, either_, I remembered. "They...aren't as good as human movies. Or, so I've heard."

"Well, we have a few human movies," she said, leaning forward and looking below the television. She'd laid out a few movies earlier, but I'd convinced her to wait for Eli before choosing one. But now that he wasn't coming...

"Why don't you pick?" I asked.

"I don't really know any of these movies," she replied, leaning back. "You pick."

I sighed, walking over to where the movies were stacked. After shifting through them for a bit, I found one with explosions on the front. _That's always nice_, I thought, holding it up.

"Ew, no," Krystal said, wrinkling her nose.

"I thought you told me to pick," I replied jokingly, setting the movie aside.

"I did."

"Then why –" I began, before clamping my mouth shut.

"Why what?" she asked knowingly.

"Nothing. Girls are just weird, that's all."

"Hey," she said, shifting in her seat. I raised an eyebrow at her, but as soon as she opened her mouth, a wave of thunder rocked the house. She turned her sensitive ears down and cringed, while I went back to sifting through the movies. It wasn't that I didn't want to help her somehow; it was actually just the opposite. It hurt to see her in pain, even a small amount, but I wondered if it would be awkward to try to comfort her. It was an impasse that had formed in my mind between my ego and my sympathy.

"How about this one?" I asked, handing her a completely different case once she'd recovered.

"This is a comedian," she replied. "I didn't put this movie in the stack."

"But I did," I replied with a smile. She hid her thoughts from my mind and mulled it over, before handing it back with a sigh.

"If that's what you want," she said in a low voice.

"Well, thanks for the enthusiasm," I replied sarcastically, setting that one aside as well.

"What else is there?" she asked. "How about a romance?"

I let my head hang slightly at the suggestion. The only reason I would bring myself to watch a movie specifically written as a romance was if a girl convinced me. And that was almost as bad a ploy as watching a scary movie in an effort to hold her close.

"_Well, never mind, then,_" she said. "Maybe we should just watch TV instead."

_This is going to take forever_, I thought. _She wants to build consensus about it. I just want to pick a stupid movie already. Not like I'm actually going to pay attention, with _her_ beside me the entire time. But maybe we could choose if..._

"Why didn't I think of that sooner?" I asked myself.

"Think of what?" she asked.

"C'mere," I said, gesturing. She reluctantly stood and kneeled beside me, right in front of the couch where she'd been seated. I laid out the movies once more and grasped her hand, nodding at her before looking the movies over. I felt her mind understand what I intended, and as soon as she set her mind to picking out a movie, something changed. Apart from the feeling as though something had just kicked me in the chest, it felt like our minds were one and the same. They were still separate; I knew where my mind ended and hers began. But besides that, it was difficult to tell whose mind thought which thoughts.

Distracted as we were by the whole situation, we hadn't even picked a movie by the time we detached our minds.

"Woah," I whispered in awe. I would feel like a simpleton in retrospect, but at the moment, that was all I could manage.

"Yeah," she said, shaking her head.

"Please tell me that's happened before," I said. She shook her head slowly.

"First time..."

"Ever?" I asked in disbelief. "But why? Why with me and you?"

"I don't know," she said. I took a deep breath to calm myself down and fend off the sense of foreboding that had come over me. "But," she continued, "I don't think it's a bad thing. Do you?"

"No," I admitted after a few seconds. "But it seems really...personal."

"Mmm hmm," she hummed with a nod. "But _that's_ not a bad thing, either."

"Probably not," I agreed. "But...we still have to pick a movie."

"You're right. Do...do you want to do it again?"

"I'm still freaking out about it," I lied. "You're used to the whole 'mind-reading' thing. I'm not."

"Well, then what are you going to do?" she asked.

"Me?" I asked, standing. "I'm going to make a snack. Got any popcorn?"

"Ooh! Would you make me some?" she asked as I entered the kitchen area.

"Only if you hurry up and pick a movie," I replied, before opening the nearest cupboard. Inside were a variety of vitamins and plastic jars. "Weird," I mumbled, before closing it. "Where's the popcorn?" I called out. A moment later, I suddenly knew exactly where they were, and I sent out a silent "thank you" to the telepath in the next room.

The next few minutes were relatively silent. Krystal put on one of the movies before too long, and other than the sounds from the modern equivalents of a television and microwave and the rain hitting the roof, the house was quiet. It wasn't awkward; or, at least, it didn't feel that way. I couldn't shake the thought that she'd known when I'd lied, and that it would come back to bite me later. I nearly decided to bring it up, but right when I opened my mouth, the first of the two bags of popcorn was done, and by the time the second was cooking, I had lost the courage to say anything. But the whole time, she seemed unperturbed. Once the second bag was done, I walked back into the living area, holding them both high.

"Popcorn's ready," I said, ignoring my nervousness from moments ago.

"You're not putting it in a bowl?" she asked, _before_ glancing toward me.

"I _wasn't_ going to," I said, "But if you'll tell me where –"

Once again, she communicated exactly where I could find a bowl big enough for both bags. Without a word I made my way back into the kitchen and put both bags' contents into the big red bowl she'd pointed me to. I came back into the living room, and held the bowl toward her.

"Is everything ready now?" I asked.

"I guess so," she said with smirk. "But where's _your_ popcorn?"

"Y'know, that's not funny," I said, ruining the statement with a chuckle. "If you asked, I bet I'd let you have the whole thing."

"Good to know," she said with a sly grin. She scooted away from the arm of the chair and patted the space she'd made. "Sit," she commanded.

"Well, alright," I said, complying. As soon as I was seated, she leaned against me slightly, before turning her eyes to the television again. My arm was pressed between us, but I didn't feel entirely comfortable putting it around her shoulder.

"_Something wrong?_" she asked silently once she sensed my discomfort.

"No," I said, lifting my arm. I'd planned to lay it across the back of the couch, but when she leaned even closer, I decided to go with it.

"_Are you sure?_" she asked without looking at me.

"_What do you mean?_"

"_Nothing_," she said abruptly, turning her attention to the television.

"_Not again. You did this at the mall. Now I'm curious; what's the matter?_"

"_Ditto –_"

"_Don't make me read your mind,_" I warned. She giggled, lifting my mood slightly.

"_Hold on, _I'm_ the telepath here,_" she said. "_And..._" she sighed. "_Maybe you should._"

"Wow," I whispered. "Is it really that bad?"

"It's not bad," she said. "Not exactly. Just...do it."

"_Well, okay,_" I replied slowly. I didn't so much reach into her mind as she pulled me in, and the television was quickly forgotten. The whole thing was confusing; less so than the unity that had appeared while we tried to pick out a movie, but I hardly knew what was happening. It wasn't like a dream; I still saw through my own eyes, but I was so distracted that I didn't actually see a thing. I felt her emotions surging, up and down like a roller coaster, and something in the back of my mind seemed to be reacting to everything her mind was doing. Something about the whole situation made me feel more exposed than she was.

It felt like several minutes had passed by the time she pushed my mind out, but hardly a minute had passed in the movie. But I didn't understand anything else about what had been bothering her, so I turned to her as she pulled herself closer.

"What just happened?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked, making eye contact.

"I mean, 'what just happened?' You kicked me out without even showing me anything."

"No I didn't," she said. "Maybe your subconscious handled it, but you definitely responded."

"Well, then would you tell me what _was _bothering you?" I asked.

"It's..." she began, somewhat nervous. "_I didn't think you really liked me._"

"What?" I asked. I was immediately mad at myself for allowing her to think that, but she continued.

"That's how you reacted before," she said.

"But why would you think that?"

"You asked that, too," she said with a giggle. "But...it's just the way you acted. You haven't even hugged me twice. You don't seem to like holding my hand. You were scared to put your arm around me."

_And we haven't kissed_, I thought, before glancing at her nervously with reddening cheeks.

"You got that from my mind," she replied. "But that's just it. You sure don't _act_ like a boyfriend."

"That..." I began, looking for a good response. I wasn't quiet for a full second before she continued.

"You already told me. It's because of 'the whole "parallel universe" thing', in your words."

"...oh," I replied, starting to understand.

"That, and the difference in species. But that's not a big deal on Corneria."

"It's a pretty big deal on earth," I said. "Especially seven hundred years ago," I mumbled.

"Maybe," she agreed, "but we're not on earth."

"Yeah," I said, unconvinced.

"But none of that matters," she said, leaning her head against me.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"You agreed to stop," she said.

"Wait, what? That wasn't me, that was my subconscious."

"Mmm hmm," she nodded. I was slightly more confused.

"Huh?"

She sighed. "You didn't avoid me consciously. So now, you won't do it at all."

"But how can you talk to my subconscious?" I asked. She shrugged. "Don't just shrug," I told her. "This is starting to freak me –"

"Shh!" she shushed, before giggling loudly. "I'm trying to watch the movie."

"No you're not," I said.

"_I am, too. And I don't know how I talked to you without talking to _you_. So shh_."

"What if I don't?" I asked with a smirk. She closed her eyes for a moment, and I quite suddenly lost feeling in my limbs. She saved the popcorn bowl and set it aside, before staring at me with my head lolling helplessly to the side.

"Okay, I'll admit: you're getting better at that," I said. "Now can I have my body back?"

"It's not your whole body," she said matter-of-factly. "It's just your arms and legs. See?" she asked, demonstrating by poking my unprotected side. I wriggled slightly, trying to get away, but I couldn't even manage to fall out of the couch.

"Don't you do it," I warned.

"You're ticklish?" she asked with a sly grin.

"Don't," I said again.

She drew closer and held her hands out menacingly.

"Please?" I asked.

"Aww," she said, sounding disappointed. I took a deep breath as the feeling returned to my limbs, and I sat up straight again. "You just _had_ to be polite about it."

"Thanks for not torturing me, I guess," I said. "But do you know how hard it is to be in a relationship when your girlfriend can either tear you to ribbons herself or make you bark like a freaking puppy?"

"I guess I don't," she admitted. "But you technically have infinite power, and a ton of money, so..."

"So you should be nicer," I said.

"And...just what is nicer?" she asked, leaning toward me.

"Not that kind of nice," I said, ignoring my heart's quickening pace. "I don't really want a kiss _that_ badly."

"What makes you think you could even get one?" she asked.

"Because I'm just crazy enough to ask outright," I said. "It's not like lying to _you_ would make a difference."

"You're right," she said, leaning closer slowly. "So tell me..."

I stared at her and swallowed nervously. I couldn't stop my mind from following _that_ path, and I glanced down at her muzzle. _Probably not as bad as a beak_, I thought. But it would feel like kissing a dog. After all, her whiskers were longer than mine, which admittedly wasn't saying much. My mind went to the image of the way a dog "kissed" – with its tongue – and I really began to hope that it wouldn't be like that here. A normal kiss would be nerve-wracking enough; I didn't want to think about a French kiss.

"...want popcorn?" she asked, suddenly cheery as she threw the big bowl into my lap. I realized that I'd been the butt of a joke, and laughed my nervousness away.

"I don't think I'm hungry anymore," I said.

"Your loss," she told me, focusing on the movie once more. I had to take a few deep breaths before I managed to think about anything but her. _I probably could've gotten one_, I thought, ruining my attempts at ignoring what had just happened. Or, what had nearly happened.

_Why couldn't I be a little normal?_ I thought. _Normal guys would try to get a kiss. And more, actually_.

"_And most guys would be intimidated by a telepathic blue fox_," she said.

"_I am _trying_ to muse,_" I complained. "_Watch your movie._"

"_I am,_" she countered. "_I haven't even said a word._"

"Okay, that joke's gonna get old fast."

"_But it isn't yet_," she countered.

"True," I admitted.

She didn't continue speaking, so I turned my attention to the movie once more. I'd missed a good portion of it, but it didn't take long to figure out that she'd chosen a romance. _Or maybe it's a romantic comedy_, I thought. _Heck if I can tell_.

I actually managed to sit through the whole thing, without too many sarcastic remarks and ironic comments. It took much less effort than I would've liked to admit, but if anyone ever found out, I decided to blame Krystal. After all, she was telepathic; maybe she'd affected my mind somehow. Of course, I knew it was a load of bull, but nobody else had to.

The movie wasn't one that I would make a point of remembering. It seemed pretty simple; boy meets girl, love at first sight, they get really close, then the boy makes a stupid mistake and spends the rest of the movie making it up to the girl, just with anthropomorphic animals. In this case, he chased some random cat walking down the street. _Some kind of idiot_, I thought. _She took him back? He's just gonna do it again_. Needless to say, the main characters' relationship was not based on a solid foundation. They'd gotten far too serious far too fast, and if it wasn't scripted, they would've ended it quickly.

But none of my dire predictions happened. Of course, the seductress got the short end of the stick, and the movie ended with the normal "happily ever after" idea. I tried to keep my opinions to myself, though, just to see Krystal's reaction. Apparently, though, she had the same idea.

"What did you think?" she asked once the credits started.

"I've seen better," I said, trying to keep my opinion mild. "Heard of the Notebook?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Maybe we should watch it together," she suggested. I cringed.

"Sure..." I said slowly.

Krystal was about to respond, when her ears perked toward the door. I turned my head, and noticed that her "parents" had returned, and that the rain had stopped.

"Odd," I said under my breath.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing," I said. "I just figured the thunder would be more of a nuisance than it was."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked. I just shrugged.

I managed to get out of the house alive, which wasn't as harrowing as it could've been. Krystal's temporary father bristled when he realized we'd spent the afternoon together alone, but after a fairly thorough search of the house, he decided that we'd been good. Of course, it took more convincing on Krystal's part than I thought was necessary. She later explained that she didn't like using telepathy to change her parents' minds.

"_And why are they so upset?_" I asked her as my mind wandered while we waited for her father's verdict. "_They knew you'd be alone with Eli and me, why does this make a difference?_"

"_Because their daughter was supposed to be here a little after they left. So she'll be getting a few choice words, too._"

"_Oh,_" I said, looking askance at her. "_And you had nothing to do with _that_, either?_"

"_Oh, be quiet._"

I snickered, interrupting Krystal's mother in mid-sentence. "_I haven't said a word_," I told her. The woman began her sentence again, apparently unaware of the vixen's unique gift. She was being surprisingly friendly, even though it was probably just to keep the situation from getting _too_ awkward. She was virtually oozing sympathy about how Eli couldn't make it, and hoping we hadn't been too bogged down, and all of that business. She pointedly avoided dealing with her husband, which struck me as odd. But once the search of the house was done, the man – or, cat, rather – decided it was time I went home. Krystal objected at first, but when both parents disagreed, we both said our goodbyes. The farewell was kept short by her parents, and I couldn't help the feeling that they didn't like me too much.

"_They do_," Krystal explained as I was ushered out of the house. "_But they're really protective_."

"_I'd hate to see what they'd do if they didn't like me,_" I replied.

"_Those two? _Miyu_ would hate to see that_."

I blanched and looked warily at her father as he got into the car. _Thank goodness I didn't kiss her, then_, I thought as he pulled away from the house.

* * *

**A/N**: *sigh*

I don't know how. I don't know how I did it. This chapter was only a few hours from not being done in time to be uploaded today. It was only at 700 words before yesterday, and in an effort of will and bribery, I got myself to do it all in one sitting. So, as for next week...I don't know. I'll have one, but I don't know how.

See, I found this old-ish thing, and it's been taking up too much of my time. They call it Pokémon. (Gen III, for those interested.) If it weren't for that, I might have had more here. And Ditto may have actually gotten a kiss. But for now, he seems to have taken a higher road. Oh, and he may end up writing some poetry for Krystal. Because in the same situation, that's what I'd do. Not so as to say that Ditto is heavily based off of me...

Oh, and thanks again to everyone who's left a review. Someone caught a mistake I'd made earlier (continuity with XxSanitariumxX's story), and I fixed it. Thanks again, Erdervv. But you all seem to have missed a noticeable detail. In the story, Lana mentions that Wolf and pals used a _car_ to catch up to Lana. Now, it couldn't have been in the morning, because there was a scene involving her that day in the original story (remember, everyone making fun of her for "digging her claws into the human"). But it couldn't have been after school, because Lana didn't show up for sixth period. I know I'm late with this, but did anyone else catch that? And who's at fault; me or Sani? Remember, I had the girls get taken in the middle of the day; after lunch, specifically. And that means Lana would have avoided Relics at lunch, which doesn't make much sense. I'll just say she was nervous about what people thought of her, and that kept her from doing what she wanted.


	23. Chapter 23: Thursday

**Disclaimer**: I own naught, save Ditto. Credit goes to the respective owners, be it Nintendo or XxSanitariumxX.

Holy cow, it's Sunday already? Well, then I should be glad I had an extra chapter ready. Week's been crazy; for those interested in my personal life, I asked a girl out. But I got friendzoned. *Moment of silence*

But enough about my life. Here's Ditto's life.

* * *

"This is crap," I said as I approached the school the next day. The words came out much more loudly than I expected, but I didn't care. Michael walked alongside me, for the first time, but Katherine still decided to go with her own friends. And like a hound to its prey, Eli had already found me.

"What?" he asked.

"It feels like I've been here forever," I said, "but it's only Thursday."

"I agree," Michael said.

"Hey, at least we got yesterday off," he said. "They say somebody shot up the school. So, was it you, mister spy?"

"Spy?" Michael asked. I ignored him.

"Eli, I'm not a spy. And even if I was, why would I shoot up the school?"

"I dunno. Spies do spy things."

"Like getting stuffed in lockers?" I asked as we entered the building.

"Well, you couldn't show off your ninja-spy skills in the middle of the school. Then your secret identity would be exposed," Eli said, making Michael snicker.

"Been reading comic books lately?" I guessed.

"No, not really," he replied.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Hey, believe what you want. You're the spy."

"Eli, I'm – oh, forget it."

"Ha! I knew it!"

"Hey," Bill called from behind us. I turned around and began to walk backwards, taking in the sight of him with Sasha, the Cocker Spaniel he'd met Tuesday.

"Bill," I said, nodding toward him and her in turn. "Sasha."

"Is this Relics?" she asked. Bill let out a laugh.

"Nah. This is Ditto. Relics is white, remember?"

"You two seem to get along," I said.

"Well, yeah," Bill said. "We spent yesterday together, because of what happened to...er, because of whatever happened here Tuesday."

"Well, then it's good to officially meet you, Sasha," I said, offering her a hand. She looked at it uncertainly for a moment, before she looked behind me and a look of surprise came over her. I glanced in the direction I was walking, and narrowly sidestepped Pete, of all people. He glanced up at me, but looked away just as quickly.

"Woah," Eli whispered upon seeing Pete's reaction. "Dude, now _he's _scared of you?"

"I'm not a spy," I said, walking backwards once again.

"A spy? Ditto?" Bill asked, before bursting into laughter.

"It isn't _that_ funny," I remarked, facing forward again.

"I bet Falco'll find it funny," Bill said once he stopped laughing.

My eyes widened slightly. "Yeah. I'll bet he would," I said, hiding the inside joke from the others.

"A spy," Bill repeated, laughing quietly. "Relics, yeah. I can imagine him as a spy. But Ditto?"

"Relics?" I asked with a sneer. "How could he be a spy? He was afraid of you just last week."

Michael waved and headed down a different hallway, and I gave a short wave back.

"Relics is the one you were talking to the other day?" Eli asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "Why?"

"I dunno. Just wanted to know who we were talking about."

"Oh."

"Ditto, who is this?" Bill asked, gesturing at Eli.

"He's Eli. Much like you, he's all talk and no walk."

"Hey!" Eli shouted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bill asked.

"I mean, neither of you actually does anything. You talk big, but you don't do what you say you'll do."

"Name one time I did that," Bill said.

"How about paintball, Tuesday?" I asked.

"That was crap. Name one more."

"Okay," I said, thinking about what I'd seen him do. I was lucky to have one example, and I didn't plan on needing a second one. "When you threatened to bite someone's face off," I told him after a few seconds.

"What? When did I do that?" he asked.

"Monday, waiting in line with Relics. Before he punched the quirks out of a robot."

"I-I was just kidding," he assured Sasha. She decided to head to her next class, and the two did their short goodbyes.

"That's my point," I told him. "Always just kidding. I'm sarcastic, yeah, but I don't lie."

Eli elbowed me pointedly.

"I'm _not_ a spy!" I shouted. I noticed at least two Cornerians look at me uncertainly and hurry away.

"Not _that_. And yes, you are. But you know you've exaggerated," he told me.

"Okay, fine. I _try_ not to lie. Happy?"

"And I _try_ not to be so awesome," Bill said haughtily.

"Stop trying so hard," I told him, "it's too believable."

"Oh, shut up."

"It's just too easy," I said, laughing.

"Your mom's too easy," he said, thwarted. One it hit him that the cookie-cutter insult actually made sense, though, a smug look came over his face.

"Oh," I said, feigning a heart attack. "Oh...that hurt. Emotional scarring right there, Billy boy. I'm gonna need a therapist if you keep it up."

"You're gonna need a doctor if _you_ keep it up," he said, cracking his knuckles.

"Alright, fine, chill out," I told him. I was fairly certain that he wouldn't actually try to hurt me, but it was a bad idea to get him angry for no reason.

"Nah, I'm just messin' with you," he said, confirming my suspicions.

At that point, we split up. Eli and I headed to our first class, and Bill kept going to wherever he'd been headed. I couldn't pay attention that class, and it wasn't because of boredom; I found my mind thinking on Krystal more than I thought I would. Eli didn't seem to notice my unusually happy demeanor, so he didn't even bring it up. And I found myself really looking forward to lunch and third and fifth periods.

Overall, that day was _so_ _close_ to being completely normal. Which, considering the rest of the week, made it quite _ab_normal. Nobody tried to beat me up, down, or around, Melina and Melissa were both nowhere to be found, nobody found out about any huge secrets, and most of all, no one was kidnapped. But it didn't end as well as it had started. One of the few classes in which I wouldn't have otherwise been bored became the most interesting class of the day.

When I got out of fifth period, I was talking to Eli and Krystal, and somehow had forgotten the seriousness of sixth period. So by the time the warning bell rang, I had barely entered the correct building. At that point, the bell sounded to me like a headsman calling out my name. A string of obscenities ran through my mind as all three of us began a hopeless run toward our respective classes. Krystal and Eli actually managed to make it, if only barely. But right as the doorway to my class came into sight, the bell rang again. I kicked up my speed one more time and stumbled into the room a second after the bell stopped echoing, and nearly ran headfirst into an angry-looking panther. I looked up in surprise and nearly stumbled back.

"Why were you late?" Ct. Fritz growled.

"Well, sir, I –"

"I don't care!" he shouted, much louder than necessary. "Fun Zone, now!"

I looked over at the obstacle course with quite a bit of nervousness, but my eyes locked onto the corridor itself. _It's not too wide_, I thought, measuring my height versus its width in my mind.

"Okay," I said with a cocky shrug. He couldn't help a snicker.

"The Fun Zone's gonna wipe that stupid grin off of your face. Now, get up there."

"Sir, yes sir!" I said, exaggerating a salute. A few kids in the class laughed quietly, but I figured that move would come back to haunt me. I climbed the ramp with much less nervousness than most students who did it, and made sure the wooden boot at the beginning missed me completely as Fritz got it to a quick start.

Stretching out before me were vertically hanging ropes, which seemed to form a simple rope swing obstacle. I knew it wasn't that simple, and I didn't really feel like going through that obstacle.

"Are there any rules here?" I asked, looking upwards slightly. I didn't see a camera, but I knew they were watching me on a television of some kind.

"Yeah," Fritz growled, "Get to the end."

"Okay," I said, glad he'd unwittingly allowed me to cheat. I put a foot against one wall and planted my hands against the other, before lifting my other foot and slowly spidering my way up the wall. I really, really wanted to see Fritz's reaction, but I didn't want to get distracted; more than ten feet separated me from the top of the course, and I didn't want to fall back to the ground.

Eventually, I made it to the top, and put my hands and feet on the corners of the foot-wide walls. I would've tried to stand, but I was already almost stretched to my limit, and instead had to crawl, hand-over-hand and foot-over-foot to the spot where the first rope was suspended. I grabbed that little bit of rigging and hauled myself up onto the narrow wall, and made a point of not looking down as I calmly bypassed the entire Fun Zone.

I couldn't help a smirk as a few kids' reactions reached my ears. Bill's was, of course, sounding out above all others'. I didn't catch all of what he said, but I distinctly heard every ounce of profanity that he shouted. _I've got to see if I can get him to keep his mouth shut_, I thought, careful not to fall into the murky water far below. I watched that water get replaced with a solid floor, and then go back to water as I continued through the thwarted course. All of the traps below were being activated, presumably by an angry Fritz, but he couldn't touch me.

The main difficulty came in getting back down. Once I reached the finish line, I looked nervously at the only way down; the narrow wall that I'd have to brace myself against. I breathed a silent prayer and bent my knees, falling forward and extending them when I thought I'd have to in order to catch the wall. I caught it, and my arms buckled slightly, requiring more strength than I'd thought to keep from falling. On the way down, I lost my footing several times, but I managed to catch myself almost every time. The last time I slipped, I fell straight down, but I managed to stick the landing, and I didn't hear any laughing as I exited the Fun Zone. I _was_ walking funny on my stinging feet, but nobody seemed to notice.

I actually hoped Fritz would be amused by the whole display. Then, as I saw his deep scowl, I remembered how flippantly I had treated his definite authority. I finally started to get nervous, hoping he wouldn't put me alone in a game of paintball. I got the feeling that I'd just curl up in the fetal position and wait out the pain. Or just shoot myself in the chest and end it fast.

He didn't do that, though. In fact, we didn't even play paintball that day. He had something else in mind, and once I was back in the lineup, he explained.

"Alright, ladies!" Fritz shouted. "Today we're gonna have some fun. Good old-fashioned conditioning."

_Why does that not sound fun?_ I wondered.

I quickly found out. Fifty or more pounds of random junk on each person's back as we ran laps around, over, and through pretty much everything in the oversized room. Poor Slippy, along with a few others, couldn't even make it a whole lap before they had to slow down. I was one of those poorly-conditioned sods. I did keep trying, but I ended up alternating between walking and jogging, and it must have been a little pathetic. Bill and Falco, and even Fox, mocked me as they passed me again, and again. But two laps later, Falco found himself right by my side. Bill was the next to join us, but Fox...the vulpine didn't even look like he was starting to get tired when Fritz finally told us to stop running.

"You're an animal," I huffed as we dropped off the weight. Bill stared at me for a second, before what I'd said clicked in my mind. "Well...you know."

"Nah," Fox said, "My dad just works me every day. This was a warm-up compared to his idea of conditioning."

"That must've been helpful Tuesday night," I said, trying to keep my voice down. A clawed hand grabbed my ear and pulled my head a whole foot closer to the ground.

"How do you know about that?" Miyu hissed into my ear.

"Falco told me," I lied. Miyu glared at him, but she let me stand again without any threats.

"Why would you do that?" she asked him.

"I...well, I figured we could trust him," Falco said.

"Then why didn't you ask for his help?" Fox asked. I stared at the bird imploringly, hoping he'd keep up the lies.

"He was...busy," Falco said. I resisted the urge to cheer for him, and I had to hold in my relieved sigh, too.

"So busy you couldn't help Lana?" Fox asked me. "They both nearly died."

"I know," I said. "I know exactly how close they came. Fara, too. And _if_ I can trust you, I can tell you everything. I'd rather have you on my side than against me."

"Hey, what are you all talkin' about?!" Bill shouted in my ear. I winced, but continued to stare at Fox. He was squinting, like he wasn't sure what to think, but I had to hope that he would agree.

"Tomorrow night?" he asked. I nodded without much hesitation.

"Nothing, Bill," I said. "The conversation's over, now."

"Oh, that's no –" he began, when Fox abruptly turned to leave. "Hey, wait up!" he called, following him with Miyu. I sighed as they left, and Falco and I were left nearly alone.

"That was a terrible idea, wasn't it?" I asked.

"What else could you do?" he asked calmly, exiting the room. I followed him.

"I know," I said. "I would've had to come up with some huge lie, and it would eventually get found out."

"_Would've_ lied?" he asked. "You _did_ lie. Why would you tell 'em I told you anything?"

"Because I already told _you_ everything. I couldn't say that Relics or Krystal told me."

"And why...? Oh. Alright, I've got your back this time. But you owe me."

"Join the club," I said.

"How many people are you gonna tell?"

"As many as I can trust. But I still don't think I should tell Relics."

"Oh, yeah; have you seen him today?" he asked. "Or, do you already know where he is with your weird psychic time-travelling thing?"

"None of that was true," I reminded him. "And he must like the time off. He stays home until Monday, then comes to school without having slept all day. Which reminds me – we should tell Fara that Relics found his MP3 player."

"What?" he asked, clearly confused. I noticed Krystal a short way ahead, and waved.

"Just trust me," I told him.

"Hey, Ditto," Krystal called as she came up beside me.

"Hey," I responded.

"You have any plans tonight?" she asked.

"No, I don't," I said. "And I plan on keeping it that way."

"What?" she asked.

"You both know how crazy this week's been. I just want to go home and do nothing."

"Well, your week was crazy," Falco said. "You stole an arwing and got a girlfriend on the first day of school."

"What?" Krystal asked. "How did you know that?"

"Didn't –" I began, before I remembered that she hadn't been awake. "Oh. I told him while you were asleep."

"Well, aren't you worried someone will hear him?" she asked.

"Not really," I replied as we exited the building.

"What?"

I took her hand to keep the conversation quieter. "_I have no proof. There's probably already a rumor going around that I did it. Just like how there's probably one that Relics did it. But it's not like anyone really thinks I did it._"

"_Oh, I get it. The truth is so weird, most people wouldn't believe it anyway._"

"_Truth is stranger than fiction_," I affirmed.

"_I just said that_," she said.

"_I know. It's a quote, or something. Maybe it's a cliché, I don't know._"

"You two are weird," Falco said, guessing at what we were doing.

"Hey, until you get a girlfriend, I don't want to hear it," I replied. He looked at me abruptly, and took in a breath.

"Yeah, about that; you lied to me," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"You said Katt would be into me. Instead, she slapped me."

"How did you act?" I asked. "You can't be a pervert around her."

"Hey!" he said angrily.

"Tell me I'm lying," I said with a smirk. He glared at me, but didn't say a word. "Just don't act like something you aren't. I know you're not really a pervert, so just be yourself. That is, if she gives you another chance."

"I'm not a pervert," he said.

"That's my point. So stop acting like all you want to do is get laid. You're in high school; try to keep it clean."

"_Well, aren't you a little angel?_" Krystal asked. I couldn't tell whether she was being sarcastic.

"_Not by a long shot,_" I replied.

"Whatever, Ditto," Falco said after a few seconds.

"Hey, don't let her get away," I said. "She actually doesn't mind your cockiness. It's mutual."

"Yeah, okay," he said, unconvinced. "See you tomorrow."

"Hey, Ditto," Michael said, standing next to the car. "It's about time you got here."

"Oh, chill. I'm only a minute later than Katherine," I said, looking at her as she focused on her small phone.

"Yeah, well, say goodbye to your girlfriend, and let's go already," he said, getting in.

"Keep your feathers on," I said. I turned to Krystal, but she'd already let go of my hand and started across the street.

"Bye," she called, jogging across the street to avoid the dangerous drivers. I gave a weak wave, and wondered why I always got sad when I saw her leaving. But Joanne's car honked suddenly, making me jump. I saw Michael doing his best to hit the horn again, and Joanne doing her best to keep him away, and chuckled as I got into the car.

* * *

**A/N**:Blah. Filler chapters are evil. I don't know entirely why I typed this one out. But it's okay; things should get more interesting on Friday and..._especially_ Saturday. *HINT HINT*

Okay, I found another continuity error in my story, so I have to change it ever-so-slightly and offer current readers an explanation. You see, in the lunchroom, Sani's story claims that the cashiers were robotic. However, in mine, they are organic. I do have an explanation. You see, Krystal and Ditto did not have "numbers" to punch into the machines, so they would need to use cash, unlike most other students. (I'm aware they would probably have been given numbers, but those numbers would be flat broke anyway.) And the food wouldn't magically appear; they would most likely have people stocking it. So, Krystal decided to pay directly. Phlebotinum states that they would accept the money, and everything's fixed. Krystal paying the worker was the exception, not the rule. After all, Relics still had a hard time with the robot the previous day.


	24. Chapter 24: A Dream?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Star Fox, or Exchange Student. Any ideas representative of either of those found below is not my intellectual property. As in, it's not mine.

Agh! Almost late! This update was only a few minutes' time from not happening. I quite literally typed 2000 words within an hour of uploading. Also, watch for the ending, because I'm not sure how well it fits.

And, this is the first chapter title with punctuation in the name, not including colons. So, there's that.

* * *

My eyes flashed open and I sat up abruptly, looking around with wide eyes to take in the entire room. Soft light poured in through the one window in the room. Colin lay in his bed haphazardly, but undisturbed. The door was closed, and the room was nearly empty. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I wiped my damp face and took a deep breath to calm down my racing heart.

_What's going on?_ I wondered, breathing through my fingers. The night had been normal – meaning it had passed in the blink of an eye, but the sensation of having just seen a nightmare stuck. I couldn't find the faintest sliver of a dream in my memories, though.

"This is too weird," I whispered, shaking my head. It had been years since my last nightmare, period; why one would come now, in a realm where I wasn't supposed to dream at all, I didn't know. I looked at the alarm clock, saw that it would've gone off in only three minutes anyway, and got out of bed.

I started to get ready for the day, but I hadn't finished before I got distracted by my own imagination. I was trying to figure the whole situation out, when the alarm clock went off. I started at the sudden noise, and continued to get ready while Colin slowly woke up. After we exchanged a "Good morning," he began to get ready, too. And once again, I found myself musing before I was done.

"You okay?" Colin asked after a short while.

I shook myself and looked at him. "Huh?"

"You look like you just saw a ghost," he said.

"Oh. Nah, I just...weird dreams..."

"Like what?"

"Just...uh...it'd be weird to say," I lied. "It wouldn't make any sense."

"Whatever. Then just forget it and get ready for school."

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, getting back to the task at hand, which happened to be finding my shoes. _Why can't I just put them in one place?_ I wondered.

The rest of the morning routine passed swiftly, without any more deep contemplation about the near-dream experience. I ate, made small talk with the other members of the household, and before long, was whisked away to school. I made sure to tell Joanne that I had plans after school, and after a few seconds' worth of explaining, she accepted that I wouldn't be in any danger, and the trip to the Great Fox was allowed. A big smile came over my face as I headed toward the school.

"What's up?" Michael asked when he saw the goofy grin.

"Nothin'," I replied. Considering the previous day had been the first one without danger for anyone I knew, and today looked fun and easy, I allowed myself some optimism. Of course, my mind touched on the delicate subject of the previous night, and my happy mood almost immediately disappeared. The thought crossed my mind to ask someone, but I had no one to ask. Sharp was the only one who could be expected to know anything, and he probably wasn't in a position to be sympathetic toward me.

"Good morning," a feminine voice called, bringing me back to reality yet again. I cringed and looked up as the robin approached.

"Melina," I said with a nod.

"Whoa. Who's that?" Michael half-whispered to me.

"It's just Mel-" I began, before realizing they were both avian. _Maybe that'll work,_ I thought. "Her name is Melina," I told him. "And she's single," I added in a whisper.

"You think I've got a chance?" he asked.

"Sure, why not?" I asked. Suddenly, I felt a sense of foreboding, and for some reason, couldn't stop myself from looking up at the sky. I didn't see anything odd, so I ignored it and looked back at Melina as she walked beside me.

"How are you?" she asked. I had to remind myself that she was no longer a person to avoid.

"I'm doing good," Michael said before I could open my mouth.

"Oh. Who's your friend, Ditto?" Melina asked.

"Melina, this is Michael. Michael, Melina."

"Hi," she said, before turning to me once more. "Listen, I just wanted to find you so I could tell you goodbye."

"Goodbye?" I asked. She nodded.

"I'm going to Macbeth for a while," she replied. I nodded slowly, hoping this had been a part of the story. Of course, I had no idea what or where Macbeth was, but I found myself hoping it wasn't _too_ far away.

"How long?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know. I just wanted to thank you again for your...help."

"I wouldn't call it help," I replied. "I just lost my temper, and things kinda just fell into place."

"Well...thanks anyway. And...I guess this is goodbye."

"Oh. Well, I hope you...uh...find what you're looking for. Or something," I said awkwardly. She let out a giggle.

"Bye, Ditto," she said, before heading into the school just ahead of me. Puzzled at why she didn't head to an airport or something instead, I called out to her.

"I thought you were leaving!"

"I am," she replied, stopping and turning around. "But not until later. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

"Oh," I said as she continued. Michael elbowed me without a hint of subtlety, and I glared at him. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Yeah, like I have a chance with her. She's going to a different _planet_."

"Is that what Macbeth is?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied as we entered the building. "What'd you think it was?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe just another country or something? See, it was easier on Earth. The adventurous types would talk about 'seeing the world'. Now what do they talk about, seeing the _universe_?"

"I just wonder why she would go there," he said.

"Huh? Why?"

"Well, there's nothing on Macbeth. At all. I mean, there are a bunch of miners and stuff, but no beaches, probably no stores, terrible weather...why choose there for a vacation?"

"Why don't _you_ go ask her?" I asked, pushing him forward. He leaned back and resisted the push.

"No, how about I don't?" he asked.

"Whatever," I said, pulling my hand away abruptly. He regained his balance without even stumbling, which slightly disappointed me. "And she didn't say she was taking a vacation."

"Well, then why's she going, smart one?" he asked.

"How should I know?"

"Exactly," he said, turning down the same hallway as the previous day. "See you."

"Bye," I said, before facing forward again. I abruptly looked around, wondering where the people who usually followed me were. Specifically, Eli came to mind. "Where is he?" I asked myself, scanning the hallways. Being taller than most of the others by an inch or so helped a little, but standing on my toes helped even more. Still, though, I didn't catch sight of the brown hawk anywhere.

"I swear, if _he_ went and got himself a girlfriend," I said, before continuing to first period. "Friggin...everyone around here getting in a relationship. Most of it's my fault, too. Couldn't just keep my trap shut, no sir-ee, had to go and meddle."

I considered that the people around me would see me as crazy if I kept talking to myself, but I found that I didn't care. Then I realized that I was an unwitting ambassador to Corneria, and I got the monologue under check.

I made it to first period without another interesting situation. Once I got there, I found Eli already seated. He explained that he got to school early (not on purpose, he made clear), and I accepted his excuse, before I began wishing the class away.

It passed, eventually. Once again, I didn't learn a thing; or, if I did, I didn't know that I learned anything. But after dragging myself out of that class, I headed to the next period, not bothering to say goodbye to Eli, since I'd be seeing him again soon anyway. I came to the next period and waited calmly outside for someone – anyone – else to enter first. Ms. Kensington hadn't made a single move on me personally yet, but I didn't want to give her a chance. Since she'd seen Relics last on Tuesday, she seemed to be warming up to _me_. It was all I could do to not literally run away at the end of the period. And of course, Bill never failed to notice her advances, despite his obliviousness concerning Relics.

"Speak of the devil..." I whispered as I saw the pale-skinned human walking toward me.

"Hey," he said calmly, nodding in greeting.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, trying poorly to hide my surprise.

"Second period. I've always been in this class."

"I mean, here. At school. I thought you and Lana were...resting."

"Well, we were," he said, standing beside me rather than braving the rather open swan in the classroom. "Until her parents got home. Her dad almost killed me, but I'm fine."

"Spider?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

"Yeah," he said with a shudder. "How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess," I replied quickly. "But seriously, I almost expected you to just stay home all weekend. Falco told me what happened, and I thought you'd want to take all the time off you could."

"I wanted to. But the dumb bird wouldn't quit squawking at me to go to school today."

"Falco," I said darkly.

"Yeah...you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, covering up my frustration with a smirk. I entered the classroom before he could pursue the subject.

"Oh, hello," Ms. Kensington began when she saw me. But as soon as she saw Relics, her feathers all ruffled, and she put a hand on her chest to calm herself down. "Relics!" she exclaimed.

"Good morning, Ms. Kensington," I said with a smirk. I knew that she no longer had reason to chase me, so I decided to have some fun. I only hoped it wouldn't come back to bite me later. Relics followed me with his head down, trying hard not to make eye contact with her.

"Why I ever let Falco talk me into this..." he began as we sat down.

"Hey, it's not all that bad."

Ms. Kensington cleared her throat not-so-subtly, interrupting me.

"Relics, you know students who are absent need to give a reason for the absence, correct?" she asked. He nodded nonchalantly. "Well, be sure to do that. Wouldn't want you to get..._detention_..." she said, with what I guessed was an attempt at being seductive.

I couldn't help shuddering or frowning, and I had to keep my mind from conjuring images. _That is so wrong on so many levels_, I thought, shaking my head rapidly.

"Turn it in," I whispered to Relics. "Turn the paper in. Whatever you do, dear God, just get that paper turned in."

"I will," he said, looking almost as disturbed as I was. "Believe me, I will."

"What is it with her?" I asked. "Doesn't she have...I don't know, a life? I mean, isn't that called pedophilia?"

"I don't know," he replied, putting his head down. "Fucking Corneria."

I tried to ignore the profanity, and managed it pretty well. "Maybe you should ask someone who would know."

"Like?"

"Try Bill. I've got some..._things_ to say to Falco."

"Hit him a few times for me. One for getting me to come to school. And one for telling you what happened Tuesday. No offense."

"Hey, he only told me because he thought I was trustworthy. I would've helped you out, but I was...busy."

"Yeah, lemme guess; hanging out with your girlfriend? Ditto, I needed help back there. And I got more from Miyu than you."

"So, what was I supposed to do? I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late anyway," I lied.

"And you didn't even check on anyone to see if we were okay?"

"Falco told me plenty." _Lies, lies, and more lies._ "And I don't think you would've appreciated if I barged in on you and Lana."

"Wait a second, Falco didn't know I spent the day with Lana..." he said suspiciously.

"But you did," I retorted. "You just told me that a spider saved your life."

"Oh, yeah," he said, before shuddering. "Creepy little things."

"They're really not all that bad," I said.

"Yes, they are. Now stop talking about 'em."

"What's the matter? Afraid of a little –" I began, when Falco, Bill, and Slippy entered the room. "Here we go," I said, interrupting myself.

"What?" Relics asked, looking toward the doorway. "Oh."

Once greetings were completely exchanged, I gave Falco the sternest glare I could, which admittedly didn't amount to much.

"Falco," I said when he didn't notice my expression.

"Hmm?"

"What is _he_ doing here?" I asked, jerking a thumb toward Relics.

"I told him to come. Like he should get an extra day off? And it's not like he had a reason to stay home."

"Well, I would _think_ he would want to spend more time with Lana. Relaxing. At home."

"What could possibly go wrong?" he asked.

"Yeah, relax," Relics said. "I was getting bored at home, anyway."

"Fine," I said, folding my arms. "Forget it. I'll get back at you tonight, though, Falco."

"Yeah, right," he said cockily. "I'll fly circles around you before you even get the hang of the controls."

"If you think you can," I said. "But while you're flying in circles, I'll just blast you out of the sky."

"I guess we'll see tonight, won't we?"

"I guess. I mean, _I_ will, but you'll kinda be busy crashing and burning, so..."

"You're full of it."

"What're you two talking about?" Relics asked.

"Yeah," Bill agreed.

"Nothing," I replied. "If you want to know, you'll have to ask Fox."

_Crap_, I thought after a few moments. I'd forgotten that I was supposed to tell Fox the truth that afternoon; and Relics was never supposed to find out. _When do I next see him?_ I wondered, before nearly growling in frustration. I didn't see him until sixth, whereas Relics saw him in P.E., just after lunch. _Lunch!_ I thought excitedly. _I can just tell Fox not to let Relics come at lunch_. I leaned back with a smile, glad I'd figured it out. I looked up and realized a conversation had been going.

"...telling you, she's totally into me," Falco was saying.

"Dude! No she's not," Bill said.

"Yeah, she is. I'm gonna get her phone number today."

"Dude...Katt? Katt Monroe? The girl who backhanded you the other day? How can you think she's 'into' you?"

"Why don't you ask Ditto?" Falco said.

"No, no, no, leave me out of it," I told him. "I said you _might_ have a chance, until you got slapped. Now, I'm not so sure."

"Oh, c'mon! That's not what you said before."

"I say a lot of things, _Falco_. And I'm not saying you don't have a chance, but she probably isn't too fond of you at the moment."

"Yeah, whatever," he said as Ms. Kensington began the class.

* * *

"Ditto?" Krystal asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I blinked twice and looked around at the bustling lunchroom, before focusing on her. "You okay, there?" she asked.

"Oh. Uh...yeah. Just thinking."

"I saw that," she said mirthfully. "You can't actually practice with an arwing until tonight."

"I'm a little on edge about that," I told her. "I can barely fly it straight, much less have a dogfight."

"Well, if you want me to come and keep you safe..." she began.

"I actually wouldn't mind. But you'd have to ask Fox, wouldn't you?"

"You're right," she said, before turning to him. He abruptly lifted his head and started looking around frantically, before he realized that the voice in his head was Krystal. During their silent conversation, I had time to start on my meal, before she turned to me again.

"He says it should be fine. As long as I don't touch anything or invite anyone else without his knowledge."

"Yeah. Makes me wonder why he even came up with this plan," I said, loud enough for him to hear.

"What?" he asked.

"You know how awesome this is, and you know how few people can come. Why would you suggest it?"

"Hey, hang on, _I_ suggested that Falco and I do it after school on Tuesday. You were the one who told us to wait. And I guess I should thank you for that, too. We might not have gotten Fara's text if we were in a simulator."

"Yeah," I said, looking at Falco and Krystal in turn. "Lucky coincidence."

"That's crap," Bill said. "How come we can't come?"

"Because, Bill, I can't bring too many people. My dad told me no more than four."

"_Four?_" I asked Krystal.

"_Where were you when he invited Relics?_" she asked.

"_He invited Relics?!_" I asked, letting my head fall to the table.

"So?" Bill asked. "Why not me? I mean, there's Falco, Ditto, and Relics so far..."

"_Why did he invite Relics?_" I asked.

"Krystal's number four," Fox said.

"_Because you didn't tell him not to,_" she replied.

"What?! Why's she get to go if I don't?" Bill asked Fox.

"_How can I tell Fox the truth if Relics is there?_" I asked Krystal.

"_Maybe tell Relics, too? Or just wait until he's not nearby._"

"I'm coming," Miyu told Fox.

"Of course," he said, like he'd already thought of it. "You don't count as one of the four, though."

"Hold on," Bill said. "How come Ditto's girlfriend can come if I can't? Huh?"

"Bill, calm down," I told him.

"Oh, of course you're fine with it. You're surrounded by friends. What about me?!"

"Bill!" Fox shouted. "If it'll make you calm down, okay, fine. You can come, too. I...I'll figure something out."

"Alright!" he shouted tactlessly. "Now, what about –"

"No, Sasha can't come," Fox said. "I'm already gonna be in trouble bringing as many people as I am."

"Aw, shoot," I said, slouching.

"What is it?" Krystal asked.

"Michael wanted to come, remember? I'll have to tell him that it's not happening."

"Yeah," Fox said. "Because no one else is coming."

"That's fine," Slippy said. "I'm busy anyway."

"What?" Falco asked. "What are _you_ busy with?"

"C'mon, Falco," I told him. "It's a Friday; even Slippy can make plans."

"You must not know Slip. Seriously, what's up?"

"C'mon, guys, I'm just doing a couple things. It's not like I've got a date."

"You're building a laser, aren't you?" I asked. He just pretended that he hadn't heard, and continued eating. "He's building a laser," I said to myself. I glanced down at my food, which had hardly been touched, and felt my appetite awaken.

"So, do you have any plans Saturday?" Krystal asked as I took a bite. I tried to answer her, but the food in my mouth turned the answer into a muffled grunt. She put a hand in the crook of my arm, and I silently thanked her.

"_I didn't; do I have plans now?_" I asked.

"_I don't know. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out._"

"_We could go to a skate park,_" I suggested, hoping she would agree.

"_Oh, yeah! Good plan, Ditto. Do you know where any are?_"

"_D'oh. No, I don't._"

"_Ditto..._"

"_Hey, it's okay. We can ask Fox, tonight._"

A few minutes later, the bell rang. I hadn't quite finished my food, but there wasn't much left anyway. While everyone else began to clean up, get ready, and leave, I hurriedly tried to eat the rest without choking. Krystal, despite my lack of manners, actually stayed there until I was finished. Just before that point, I swallowed hard and finally managed a word.

"Crud," I said, tossing the last bite into my mouth.

"Hey, it's not all bad," Krystal said as she stood.

"Oh, really?" I asked around the food.

"Yeah. You get to spend next period with me."

"I guess you're right," I said with a smirk, following her duly to third period.

* * *

**A/N**: Ahh, third period Biology. And he has it with his girlfriend; because, y'know, there's no double-entendre there at all. And I want to do some of fifth period; after all, I've hardly written any conversations between Eli, Krystal, and Ditto. I think there's some comical value there. Especially when you remember that Eli doesn't know anything about either Ditto or Krystal. I think. Well, he thinks Ditto is a spy, but that's a part of the comical value. That joke's never gonna get old to me.

I find that trying not to include profanity in the story when Bill or Relics are talking is quite difficult. My sincere apologies if I offended, but it would feel less...real if Relics didn't swear occasionally. And as for Bill, he's his own brand of ostentatious.

And yes, for those who haven't noticed, I'm making an effort to reduce the profanity throughout the story. Maybe not a popular decision, but I don't really like the boorish image I get in my mind when I see cursing. But that's just because I'm the author; if you _like_ the profanity, just imagine that there's more of it.

Now back to the actual story; I'm waiting eagerly for Monday, when I can be less imaginative and just write off of Exchange Student again. However, I reiterate; I have plans for Ditto on Saturday. All the quantum mechanics might start making more sense at that point. I'm not giving away too much about my plans, am I?

Because I think it'd be possible to guess it, I'll offer a whopping twenty dream-points if anyone can guess close to what's going down Saturday.

Hint: remind yourself of the summary.

Hint 2: why did he look up at the sky?

Brought to you by dream-points: if you think they're worth anything, you're dreaming.

EDIT: Wow. "A few minutes later, the bell rang." Talk about worst ending in history. I added more to that, and slapped myself for putting that online.


	25. Chapter 25: I Wanna Be The Guy

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Star Fox or Relics. The only thing I came up with is Ditto.

Alright, so a big occasion happened in my life; my original story, Heart's Illusion, is no longer in the arena stage! The main characters have passed all of the fighting, so I'll have more time for BK Prose. Because of that, I tried to make this chapter longer than usual, because I rightly promised I would.

Also, I feel like I should mention that I can't really tell anyone else's story in this...story. If Ditto doesn't see it, I don't write it. That's the idea behind a limited first-person viewpoint. If you want to know what's happening, my story should closely follow XxSanitariumxX's story Exchange Student. You can see two sides of a nearly identical story from reading his first. I'd recommend it, though his side is slightly more...mature...than mine. It's also a lot better.

I should mention, Sani updated his story recently...and I must say (again), his is better than mine. It's a crying shame if you read mine, but not his. Mine's just boring everyday drama and what I think is humor; his is action, intrigue, and 200,000 words of awesome. Seriously. Read it. And, hey, if you get bored one day and say to yourself "hey, I wonder what happened to that Tallbrain guy", then feel free to check up on this story.

* * *

Chapter 25

I plopped down in the seat of the fifth period computer class eagerly, though I didn't know exactly why. Had it occurred to me, I would probably realize that it was because this was my favorite class, assuming lunch wasn't to be counted. I was somewhat excited to be able to talk to what turned out to be my two best friends on Corneria, aside from maybe Colin. Of course, I would make a point not to be late to sixth period again; I didn't want to think of what Fritz would have in store for me, considering the Fun Zone held no threat.

I started the futuristic-seeming computer, and waited the mere seconds it took it to finish booting up. After punching in the cookie-cutter scholastic password, I logged on and waited for the class to properly start. And of course by "waited", I mean I played games. The teacher most definitely did not appreciate that, and he told me so repeatedly, but I found out how unimportant I felt this class was when I ignored the command to turn it off and kept going. The games weren't even all that great; it was no Skyrim, after all. But I had a few hundred years' worth of games to play, and I didn't think the novelty would wear off by the end of the year, assuming once again that I even made it that far before being kicked out of the story.

Not too long passed before both Krystal and Eli entered the room, nearly at the same time. They took seats beside me, despite the lack of a seating chart, and I noticed them both looking at my screen, with vastly different expressions.

"You'll fail the class if you keep playing games," Krystal warned me.

"Whoa. What game is that?" Eli asked.

"I know," I told Krystal. She rolled her eyes and laughed softly as I turned my head slightly toward Eli and said, "It's called 'I Wanna Be The Guy'."

I'd downloaded the world's hardest game a few days earlier, and I'd had to look pretty hard for it. But now that I had it, I was having fun trying my best to get through the easiest difficulty. And I was still failing.

"What's that?" he asked.

"It's the hardest game I've yet to find."

"Is that why you're dying so much?" he asked as the pixelated boy exploded in a shower of red pixels yet again.

"Yes. Yes it is."

"And why's he have a little bow on his head?"

"That's there because I chose the 'wuss' difficulty. If you can beat even one of the bosses, I'll be impressed."

"Piece of cake," he said arrogantly, pulling the keyboard toward himself. I got it back to the main menu and set up a game for him on the 'hard' difficulty. Without complaint, confident in his own abilities, he began to run toward the bottom of the side-scroller's screen. I watched with no small amount of satisfaction as a wall of spikes came seemingly out of nowhere and turned his guy into a shower of red dots.

"Shut up," he told me before I could say anything.

"And you almost got off the first platform, too," I said, ignoring his command. Krystal leaned over to get a better look, and I felt her mind reach out to mine.

"_What is that game?_" she asked.

"_I wasn't lying to him,_" I replied. "_It really is the hardest game I've ever found. I haven't even beaten one boss yet._"

"_I see,_" she said as Eli got clobbered by the very same spike wall.

"How do you get past that?" he asked angrily.

"Wait here," I told him, pointing to the small safe spot.

"_You're not going to warn him about the last one?_"

"_Nope_."

Eli managed to get past the first spike wall that time, and the second one. But when he tried to hide in the same relative spot on the third and final floor, the wall came from the opposite side, and he died yet again.

"What the heck?!" he asked. "That was crap!"

"The game has a few cheap shots," I agreed. "But that's what makes it so hard. You can give up at any time."

"No way, I'm gonna kill one of those bosses."

"Great. We'll be here for a few weeks, then."

"Turn off that game!" the teacher shouted. I closed the program, to Eli's disappointed groan, and brought the keyboard in front of myself again.

"Or not," I said under my breath. I opened the class' current program, mostly to appease the teacher, and tried to work out how I'd understand what I was doing. Thankfully, there was a virtual keyboard, with English characters, so I was set to do it. That is, once I learned the Cornerian computer language in question. This one seemed to be little more than a virtual sandbox, with its own code language; it reminded me a bit of Microworlds, though I hadn't used that it some time.

"Turn it back on," he whispered once the teacher had passed us.

"What? No."

"C'mon, just do it."

"Why don't you just get it on your computer?" I asked.

"I don't know where to get that one."

"Too bad, then," I told him.

"Hey, don't make me tell Krystal," he warned me.

"What?" I asked. "Tell her what?"

"Put the game up, or I'll tell her what you are."

"Oh, my – Eli, I'm not a spy."

"What?" Krystal asked. "_Why does he think that?_"

"_He overheard me telling Relics about the arwing._"

"Yes, you are. I _know_ you are," he said. I tried to act annoyed, but I still found his accusations humorous.

"Eli, you do know that if I _was_ a spy, I would be one for the humans, right? And I would probably have killed you for overhearing too much."

"_Or_, you would threaten me like that without actually killing me, so that I would think you weren't a spy when you really were."

"Like reverse-psychology?" I asked. "You've lost it."

"Sure I have," he said with an avian smirk.

"_You know he's kidding, right?_" Krystal asked.

"_I figured. Still, he's not the type I want to tell everything to._"

"So," Krystal said to Eli, "if Ditto _was_ a spy, what would you do? Wouldn't you have to kill him to protect Corneria?"

"No," Eli said. "I'd just call the cops."

"Doesn't spy beat cops?" I asked. "If this is like poker, cops are just jacks. Spies are aces. Call the army, that's the kings."

"What?" Eli asked. "That doesn't make any sense."

"It does in America," I said, making an inside joke. Unfortunately, most of the class probably hadn't even heard of America, so it went lost on them. But Krystal was still connected to my mind, at least slightly, so she let out a snicker. _'Murica!_

"That doesn't make sense either!" he shouted. The teacher stared daggers at him, and he quieted down quickly. He swatted my shoulder, presumably for getting him in trouble, but I just laughed it off.

"_How did he hear about the arwing, though?_" Krystal asked.

"_I...was talking to Relics, and he overheard._"

"_What? How could...I mean, I thought you were trying to be careful who you told?_"

"_Well, I'm sorry, but you weren't there to help me. Remember, I'm an idiot when you're not around._"

"_Oh, no you're not._"

"_I don't know; I got us captured by Sharp, I left Lana behind, and I almost died repeatedly this week._"

"_That's not all though,_" she said. "_And I don't need to tell you, do I?_"

"_No,_" I admitted. Everything I'd done here, both good and bad, was running through my mind.

"_And looking at what _should_ have happened, I think you've already helped everyone._"

"_To be fair, the original author was a little too good at being a sadist, when he wanted to be. I just made this school a bit more tame._"

"_Well, for what it's worth, I love the changes you made._"

"_You didn't even see how it was the other way,_" I said. "_And I haven't even made any big changes yet._"

"_Haven't you? I think you've already saved Corneria; you just don't know it._"

"_And how – wait, you know? You know what would've happened to Corneria?_"

"_Mm hmm,_" she nodded, "_I know what _could_ have happened. But remember, it wasn't guaranteed, either._"

"_Well, no, and I would hope that Relics would do the right thing. But with everything that happened..._"

"_Everything that won't happen,_" she reminded me again. "_I think between me, you, and Relics, we can save the planet._"

"_And how?_" I asked. I glanced around like someone could hear before continuing. "_I only have one more _Sin._ And this several-month-long story is only in its second week._"

"_You don't need those. And like you said, we've got plenty of time. If we – if _you_ – make the right changes now, who knows?_"

"_Well..._" I began. "_True, I think I helped Melina. But she'll be in Macbeth for a while. She could revert to her old mind frame in that time. And I guess Relics is more accepting of Corneria, and Cornerians, but he actually handled it really well either way._"

"_Really well?_" she silently scoffed. "_He took it as well as Corneria handled the both of you coming here._"

"_Oh, that wasn't that bad,_" I began.

"_For you. Relics can't even go outside without being swarmed by fans and paparazzi._"

"_Fans?_" I asked. "_He has fans?_"

"_Okay, so teenaged girls, conspiracy theorists, bullies, and anti-human enthusiasts, but you get the idea._"

"_What's 'the idea', that people what him dead? More than what's-his-name wanted me dead?_"

"_Yes, but Relics has got a bodyguard._"

"_Oh, thanks for reminding me_," I said sarcastically. "_So how many days do you think I'll make it?_"

"_All Relics has is an army with high-powered weapons behind him. You've got Jake._"

I couldn't help but to laugh. That didn't fail to put it into perspective, but I actually felt safe knowing that Jake was protecting me.

"_And that's not all,_" she said. "_You've got all of us here, too._"

"_Yeah, I know. I don't really feel threatened, but thanks anyway._"

"_That's all? 'Thanks anyway'?_"

"_Oh, alright; thank you, Krystal. What ever would I do without you?_"

"_That's a little better,_" she said. "_It'll do._"

"_You think we should've been paying attention?_" I asked. The classroom was nearly silent, which was especially weird because I was in the middle of a conversation.

"_Ditto? I'm telepathic. Maybe you've forgotten?_"

"_Aren't all women?_"

"_Oh, be quiet,_" she said, and I felt a tingling crawl down my arm. "_You know I can still paralyze you, right?_"

"_You wouldn't do it in the middle of class_," I said, squinting at her. I wasn't entirely sure whether she would or not, but I began to hope my big mouth wouldn't get me in trouble. I noticed the gleam in her eye and turned away just as she reached toward me, pulling up my hood and covering up any exposed area.

"No!" I shouted, forgetting for the moment where I was. I didn't know whether she also forgot, but that didn't stop her from trying to make contact somehow. Some sort of held-back wrestling match began right there, and she was willing to just about everything short of punching and biting to get her point across. Before five seconds had passed, the teacher broke in.

"Hey! Stop that now! Save it for after school, you two!"

Of course, much of the classroom broke in with "Ooh's", but I wasn't too concerned about them. I was waiting for Krystal to give up the game before I even dared to uncover my head or hands. Of course, the teacher quickly told me to pull down my hood, and I did so hesitantly, watching the vixen beside me closely. I heard Eli make a whip sound behind me, and turned toward him with a smirk

"You have no idea," I whispered, before I felt a furry hand touch the back of my neck. I sat up abruptly before she had a chance to do anything, and pretended to focus on the computer. I wasn't sure whether the shiver that went down my spine was from Krystal's mind, or my own discomfort at someone touching my neck.

"_That wasn't necessary,_" I told her good-humoredly.

"_But it was fun,_" she said, letting go of my neck. I rubbed the back of my neck, giving her another glance, before beginning the assignment we'd been given.

It wasn't too hard; it was, after all, an introductory class. At least they made it more difficult than "draw a circle", but not by much. It didn't take too long to finish the assignment, and I saved the result, despite my doubts on whether the teacher would even check it. At that point, my ego got to me, and I decided to go above-and-beyond, which is where I had difficulties. Ten minutes into it, I began to get frustrated.

"Need help?" Krystal asked when she saw me struggling. She looked over the screen and squinted at a seemingly out-of-place object. "What's with all those boxes?" she asked.

"I'm trying to make it interactive," I replied.

"What? Why? You don't have to."

"Mmm hmm," I hummed with a nod. I tried to run it again, but nothing happened.

"Here," she whispered, putting her hand on the back of mine. To anyone watching, she was just showing me how to do it, but only the two of us knew what was really happening. The strange sense of unity had returned, though it didn't seem as strong this time. Because of that, I knew almost immediately what I'd been doing wrong, and silently thanked her as I went to fix it. But she didn't lift her hand.

"_It's 'cause that doesn't make sense, in English_," I reasoned.

"_I know,_" she replied.

"_What do you mean, 'you know'? You don't know English._"

"Really?" she asked, leaning on her elbow.

"What?"

"How good is that translator?" she asked. "I didn't know it worked in your mind."

"Wait, you know English? How?"

"_I know Cornerian, don't I?_"

"_Oh. But really? You really know English?_"

She reached over and hit a button on my translator, turning it off. The whispers going around the classroom became incomprehensible, and Krystal turned to me.

"Well? Is this proof enough?" she asked. Oddly enough, her accent had become slightly less noticeable.

"Alright. Color me impressed."

Eli leaned over and squawked something, and I felt my eyes widen. I turned the translator back on, and leaned toward him.

"Huh?" I asked, ignoring Krystal's amused reaction.

"Why the heck isn't this working?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied. "Depends on how badly you broke it."

"I didn't break it," he said. "It's just not working."

"It's not like it has a mind of its own," I said. It hit me that that was a possibility, given the futuristic society, but I shook the thought off. "If it's messing up, you did something wrong."

"Then what, smart one? What'd I do wrong?"

"Hmm..." I hummed, looking at the monitor. "Well, it'd help if you weren't playing games."

"I'm not. I'm just looking for one."

"Eli, you're never gonna beat that one. You'll never be The Guy."

"Whatever, just help me out here," Eli said, louder than necessary. Fortunately, the teacher was being completely oblivious, which was already normal for this class. I thought for a second that I heard him snoring, but I didn't double-check.

"It's not like it'll matter," I told him. "And why not ask Krystal for help?"

"C'mon, Ditto, everyone knows you're the best in the class," he said. I knew he wasn't telling the truth; a certain gecko toward the front of the class sure seemed to be more on top of things than I could ever hope to be. And actually, a large portion of the class was probably faster than me. Eli was just trying to butter me up.

"Alright, fine," I said. I looked more closely over what he'd done, and immediately got confused. "What? What the heck...Eli, what is this?"

"Okay, so I might not have been paying attention..."

"Wait a second...this is yesterday's assignment. All you have to do is make that thing draw a square."

"Well, how do I do that?" he asked.

"Good question," I said, opening up a web browser. I proceeded to ignore him, looking for a new game to play for the last few minutes of class.

"Forget it," he told me after a few seconds of silence. "I'll figure it out myself."

"That doesn't really count," I told him when he went to a search engine.

"But it'll work," he said.

"Sure, it will," I replied, before focusing on the game once more. It wasn't too long before the vixen beside me became bored.

"I'm bored," she complained, turning to me.

"Well..." I said slowly, distracted by the game I'd found. "I don't...really know...what we can..."

"Oh, I don't know. Y'know that thing where I say stuff to you? And then you say stuff back? Maybe we can try that."

"Alright," I said, reluctantly closing the game. "What –"

"...do you want to do?" she asked. "I don't know," she said, answering the question he'd said for me.

"Did you just –"

"Finish your sentence? Yeah."

"Krystal –"

"It's not _that_ annoying."

I pursed my lips and squinted at her, trying to figure out how to outsmart her. It was difficult, given that she was reading my mind.

"You have to speak sometime," she said with a smile.

"Not if you're going to finish my sentences," I said quickly. She didn't even try to cut me off.

"Bless you," she said knowingly.

"What? I didn't sneeze," I told her. I felt a tickle in my nose, but I silently vowed not to let her win again. It didn't take much effort from me, because the tickle went away on its own.

"Ha!" I laughed with a victorious grin. She smiled, and then winked, and the tickle returned.

"Okay," I admitted after sneezing a few times. "You're good."

* * *

The class ended after a few minutes' worth of idle conversation, and I apologetically dashed out the doors as soon as I was able to. Of course, I knew that I'd have plenty of time to get there, assuming I didn't get sidetracked, but I wasn't leaving it up to chance anymore. After all, that's how Relics usually ended up late in _his_ story. I continued to hurry, either way, and was very nearly the first one there. Only two others had beat me, and they were currently lined up with paintball guns.

_Paintball?_ I wondered.

"Oh, good," Ct. Fritz said as I entered, out of breath. "It's Monkey."

_Monkey? Monkey? That's not even that insulting_, I thought. I almost decided to take it as a compliment, in fact.

"Load up and fall in," he said, and I complied quickly. Only once I fell in, I realized what was about to happen.

Fritz, upset at how flippantly I'd treated him Thursday, would put me alone, or nearly alone, in a paintball match. If, and only if, he thought I'd had enough punishment, he would end the game. And maybe, if I was lucky, he wouldn't bury me. Or, at least, that's the image my mind conjured once I was standing beside the others.

My blood went cold, and I felt my hands sweating right away. Something uncomfortable had crawled its way into my stomach, and I was sure I looked like a ghost. Time lost its meaning to me as I stared at the simulated war zone, trying not to figure out which building I would be laid to rest in.

"You okay?" Bill asked. It took me a few seconds to realize he'd spoken, and I was still somehow surprised.

"When did you get here?" I asked. I noticed the line stretching past him, and wondered how long ago I'd stopped paying attention.

"A while ago. But seriously, what's up? You look...actually, you look like Relics, now."

"Oh. I don't think I'm okay, actually. Just contemplating my funeral, really."

"Why?" he asked. "We're just doing target practice."

"Huh?" I asked, taking in a sharp breath. I shot a look at the shooting range, relieved that no paintballs would be flying at my head. I let a smile come across my face as I sighed, and warmth returned to my veins.

"But seeing as how you smart-assed your way through the Fun Zone yesterday, you're lucky if Captain Fritz doesn't make you a target dummy."

_Dang it, Bill_, I thought as my mind played that scenario. "Thanks for the help," I told him dully.

"No problem!" he said cheerfully.

"Cutting it close," Fritz warned someone as they stumbled into the room seconds before the final bell rang. I leaned forward to see, like everyone else in line, and ended up having to take a step forward before seeing that it was just Relics. This time, when he noticed everyone holding guns, he managed not to be shocked. Or, at least, he hid it really well as he armed himself and fell in.

"Alright, ladies," Fritz said gruffly, pacing the line, "today we're gonna have some nice and calm target practice. Step to the line two at a time, take ten shots, and fall in after your score is counted. And I've got a surprise for those lucky ones who score the lowest."

_Oh, great. I guess Slippy and them will score worse than me. And no matter which side he starts on, I'll know what score to beat_.

"Monkey!" he shouted, staring right at me.

_Crap_. I stepped forward slowly, trying to hold my head high despite Bill's snickering.

"Because you seem to think you're so smart, you have the honor of going first."

"Yes, sir," I said, trying to be serious. I walked over to one of the two shooting spots as I felt stage fright creeping up my back, and tried to loosen up by shrugging, cracking my neck, and even bouncing a little. That raised at least a few snickers, but I ignored them. I waited for a few seconds for Fritz's command to begin, hoping not to upset him even more.

"What are you waiting for?!" he shouted, making me jump. I held up the gun, trying to stay calm and breathe deeply, but I had no idea how to aim it properly. I pulled off one shot, missing any targets by several feet and making a few kids laugh.

"Eight shots left," Fritz warned me.

"I only shot once," I said without turning.

"Seven," he growled slowly.

I sneered, but didn't show any other signs of frustration. I adjusted my aim and shot once more, hitting a target that I wasn't aiming for completely by luck.

"Fifty points," Fritz said without much anger in his voice. "Six shots left."

_Oh, so now he's fair_, I thought sarcastically. I fired a pair of shots, hitting close to the bulls-eye with one of them.

"One shot at a time," he growled. "Fifty points, three shots left."

_You've got to be kidding me,_ I thought angrily. I thought of firing on the sadistic teacher, though I knew that wouldn't help my situation. I lifted a hand and wiped my face unnecessarily, before aiming once again.

I was actually allowed to take all three of the remaining shots. The first, I missed, causing more laughter from the peanut gallery. On the second and third, I was given twenty-five, though I nearly complained that the last shot hit the fifty-point area. I put the half-loaded gun away and stood back in the lineup, ignoring Bill's whispers as Ct. Fritz recounted my failure.

"Out of a possible one-thousand points...you got one hundred," he said. The lineup became noisy for a moment, before Fritz silenced it and began to call others forward, two-by-two.

"Dude, that was pathetic," Bill said.

"Screw off," I told him. "Try to do better with five shots."

"He gave you seven," Bill said. "And you only scored three times."

"Yeah, yeah," I said, watching Relics shoot. He cleared my score within three shots, and broke six hundred points, overall.

"Looks like you're going to be getting a good look at his 'surprise'," he said.

"Bill, have you ever been punched?" I asked.

"Whoa, hey, chill. I'm just saying."

"And I'm just saying, you don't _need_ all ten fingers in one piece."

"Yeah, right. You wouldn't break anyone's fingers."

"You don't know that," I told him. "Just like you don't know that I'm unarmed."

"You know I'm armed, though," he said, gesturing at the mock gun in his hands.

"Of course," I said idly as Fox approached the line. He took the stance of a professional, and managed to accrue eight hundred twenty-five points. It was at least comforting to see that Fritz was almost as hard on everyone else as he was me, and he was going especially hard on those he knew could do better, like Fox. The vulpine seemed upset at his score, though, despite the fact that nobody had really come close yet. And I only felt worse about my measly hundred points.

Thankfully, Bill stopped talking as I continued to watch people shoot. One after another, Falco, Miyu, Katherine, Katt, and Bill all easily beat my score in their first few shots. I got hopeful when Slippy stepped forward, but even he passed a hundred-fifty.

"Bull crap," I told myself as I got nervous once again, pondering Fritz's surprise. He was definitely in a bad mood, since someone had managed to hit him on the leg with a paintball at some point. And somehow, a big splotch of green on his leg didn't make him seem less imposing.

"Alright," he said, walking down the line slowly once everyone had finished. He predictably stopped right at me, holding a paintball gun in his hands, and I wondered whether he would just shoot me in the chest and get it over with. But he surprised me by holding the gun toward me.

"You've got one more chance," he said gruffly. I took the gun and nodded, thankful that I wasn't the target for now. I didn't like being in the spotlight yet again, but I didn't really have a choice.

"Get three hundred," he told me, "or everyone gets stuck with your score."

"What?!" a few students asked angrily. I took a deep breath, now even more nervous, and tried to shake some feeling into my hands. At least the concerned students were cheering me on, rather than threatening me. I even heard Katherine's voice at one point, which did more than I thought to help me calm down.

I held the gun up and took a deep breath, before closing one eye and letting the breath out slowly. Before breathing in again, I fired a shot, hitting near the edge of a target.

"Ten," Fritz called.

I took another deep breath, aiming closer to where I thought the center of the target was. I pulled the trigger, and a dull puff of gas sent the pellet into the dead center of the target.

"Yes!" I cheered, pumping a fist. A few students cheered with me, but Fritz quickly brought me back to Corneria.

"You've only got one-ten. You're not clear yet."

"Right," I said, aiming again. I had lost my aim, which I now realized was a stupid mistake, and only hit the ground on the next shot.

"We're doomed," I heard Bill whisper. I shrugged it off and took another deep breath. _Three hundred is easy_, I told myself. _Three hundred is nothing_.

I fired again, hitting the seventy-five area, and I let a soft smirk come across my face. I corrected my aim, but only managed to hit the same area, on the opposite side.

"You can do it!" Bill shouted. "Just hit a fifty, and we're all good!"

"Duly noted," I said, hoping his sharp hearing would pick up my sarcasm as I tried to aim once more. My finger squeezed before I wanted it to, though, shooting the paintball into the ten-point area.

"Son of a –" I began, before shrugging it off. _Four shots left. I'll be fine._

At that point, I wasn't even certain of my own score. It wasn't all that important, actually. I just knew that I needed at least forty points. I had no idea I needed exactly thirty points, and if I had, I might've made sure I didn't hit the twenty-five-point mark. But, I did, and Ct. Fritz thought it would be the perfect idea to tell me that.

"You've got two hundred ninety-five points," he told me. "Be careful with that last shot."

"Don't choke!" someone shouted.

"You can do this!"

"C'mon, Ditto!"

"You'd better not miss."

"I swear, if he chokes right now..."

"Thanks for the help," I said, turning back toward the targets even more nervously than before. My finger chose the worst possible time to twitch, sending a paintball into the ground beside me. The other kids erupted into a chorus of groans, which I tried to ignore as I pointed the gun at the targets.

I was doomed, and I knew it. I was way overthinking it at that point; I had to wipe sweat off of my forehead with my equally-wet hand, and I wasn't sure whether I could feel my feet at that point. Thankfully, I was aware enough to close my eyes and take a deep breath before trying to take a shot, and I almost felt normal when I next pulled the trigger.

I watched the targets closely for that split-second, waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the paintball to hit something. When it finally did, I looked for it eagerly, hoping that I'd at least hit a target.

"Twenty-five," Fritz said. I let out a sigh as a few students gave cheers, and lowered the paintball gun. My finger twitched one last time, shooting a paintball right into my foot, and I let out a yelp.

"That ain't right!" I complained as I put away the gun and limped back to the line. Cornerian hands were reaching toward me, but I tried to ignore the friendly pats. A few seemed slightly less friendly because of their owners' claws, but at least no one drew blood.

"Three hundred is still terrible," Bill said once I was back in line. "But at least you didn't fail."

"Yeah," Falco said. "Because we would've killed you."

"You'll still be able to, tonight," I said under my breath. In truth, I was expecting to be able to hold my own. Sure, they all most likely had more experience than me, but I'd already flown an arwing, and I was a quick learner by my standards. Maybe they would give me too long to get the hang of it, and I could use that against them.

"That's it," Fritz said, just before the bell rang. "Get outta here."

"You got off easy," Falco told me as we left. "He shoulda made you a target."

"I thought he would," I admitted.

"I told you," Relics said. "Captain Fritz loves Ditto."

"He does not," I said.

"He would've shot anyone else," Relics said.

"I think he did, last year," Bill remarked.

"Whatever," I said, hoping to end that conversation. "So, is tonight still on?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Bill asked.

"I dunno. Just making sure," I said.

"Of course," Fox said. "You got a ride?"

"Well, I don't have an arwing," I told him.

"Sure you don't," Falco said. Thankfully, he went ignored.

"Why does that matter?" Fox asked. "It's not like you need one."

"Aren't we going to the Great Fox?" I asked.

"Yeah, Ditto," Bill said sarcastically, "The great un-land-able ship."

"Shut up, Bill," Relics said. "And I'll bet you can get a ride with me, Ditto."

"What about Krystal?" I asked, looking around for her. She was usually waiting for me, but I didn't spot her anywhere. I felt discouragement for a moment, before remembering that I could text her.

"I guess so," Relics said as I got the translator ready. I punched out a message as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast with only one hand.

**Hey, Krystal, where are you?**

Of course, the grammar was unnecessary, and most would have ignored it with a message like "where r u". But not me. _Just another reason I'm weird_, I thought.

"I still don't get why you're letting her come," Bill told Fox. "You were about to pick her instead of me?"

"N-no," Fox said, glancing nervously at Miyu. "I-it's just that...she already thought she was going. It would've been rude to tell her she wasn't going, just to let you go."

"Hmm..." I hummed, looking at Fox closely. _Is he...in love with Krystal?_ I wondered. I shook my head, chastising myself for the thought. He had Miyu. He was content. Still, I couldn't help feeling a bit of jealousy.

"What?" Fox asked when he noticed me staring at him.

"Nothing..." I said slowly. The device on my arm rang, so I used it as an excuse to get out of the situation completely.

**Going home to get ready.**

_Oh, okay,_ I thought, swallowing disappointment.

**Relics is giving us a ride later. You okay with that?**

"You two really like each other, don't you?" Miyu asked.

"What?" I asked.

"It's perfectly fine, of course. Nobody will make fun of Krystal for dating a human. And as long as you don't hurt her, we can still be friends."

"Okay..." I said slowly, not really sure where to go with that. Instead, I decided to deflect it. "Speaking of human-Cornerian relationships, where's Lana?"

All eyes turned to Relics, who glanced around, upset. "How should I know?" he asked.

"Well, she _is_ your girlfriend," Bill said.

"She is not," Relics said.

"She kinda is," I put in. "You asked her out and got close enough that her dad tried to kill you, so..."

"Wait, what?" Bill asked.

"Dang it, Ditto!" Relics complained.

**Sure. When?**

"Hey, Relics, when are you coming for Krystal?" I asked.

"Good question. Fox?" Relics asked.

"Well, my dad doesn't want us to stay too late, so you should be there early."

"That...doesn't really help," Relics said.

"How about in an hour?" I suggested.

"That's a little too early," Fox said.

"Then two hours?"

"That'll work."

"Good enough," I replied, turning to the translator.

**Two hours.**

"So, hold on," Bill said. "How are _we_ getting a ride?"

"We?" I asked.

"Falco and me."

"I don't know," I admitted, before turning away from the rest of the group. "But I don't really care. See you later."

I almost pumped a fist when I saw Joanne outside of the school, waiting patiently for me. But once I got closer, I realized she wasn't just waiting for me.

"Where's Katherine?" I asked, before looking around.

"Right behind you," she said.

"Whoa!" I shouted, startled. "When did you get there?"

"We have the same class," she said dully, getting in the car.

"Well, _I_ know. You just surprised me," I replied, getting in beside her. Joanne pulled away from the school, and I gave an unnoticed wave good-bye as my friends continued to work out the final details of that night.

* * *

**A/N**: Well, so it turns out I'm not so great at these chapter endings. If you need a summary, Ditto just heads home uneventfully and starts to get ready. I'll probably either pick up the story in Relics' house, his car, or inside the Great Fox. Ignoring any serious plot holes I create during the next chapter, it might be pretty good.

And yeah, Ditto got called Monkey. That may stick, it may not, but I couldn't come up with a better nickname off the top of my head. Also, I put in a hint at a possible relationship between Fox and Krystal. Because that's how I think it's supposed to be, though Ditto might disagree. How will this turn out? I wish I knew.

All that being said, the completion of (this portion of) Heart's Illusion means one thing: I can write more on this story. That was the good news. Now here's the bad news.

Starting Monday the 20th, I will be away on a mission trip. I will not have my laptop with me, so I will neither be able to write nor update. I'll see if I can't get past my plans for Saturday by that time, but honestly, I doubt it. Skyrim is just too fun. And to the handful of people who are disappointed by this, I do apologize. I can't really get out of this trip, and I really wouldn't if I could. Maybe a couple weeks away from technology will do me some good. I *should* return by the second, and while I'll try to have an update for that day, I most likely won't. So expect an update or two between now and the 20th, and then nothing until the 9th.


	26. Chapter 26: The Great Fox

**Disclaimer**: I am obligated to warn you that I don't really own anything presented below. It's pretty much all others' ideas being run through my twisted mind.

I'd like to thank XxSanitariumxX for actually bothering to read the beginning of this story! He left some valuable reviews, and I tried to listen, so see if you can't spot a difference from my previous writings. Other than that, I'd like to point out that this is the first thing I've uploaded to break 7000 words, assuming authors' notes are to be counted. So there's that.

* * *

"So, this is it," Fox said, gesturing to the Great Fox. He, Falco, Miyu, Bill, Relics, Krystal and I all stood just at the end of the entry ramp, staring up at it in awe.

The entire ship, as big as it was, was covered in a silvery metal that seemed to shine, even at night. Its four massive wings sat at what seemed like a great distance away, ready to carve the air in flight. Underneath the Great Fox's protruding cockpit, which sat several stories above our heads, were a pair of cannons, easily capable of blowing a tank to pieces. And on the side of the ship was emblazoned the Star Fox symbol; the winged fox.

"Whoa!" I said slowly, not even bothering to hide my amazement. "It's...it's more than I expected."

"Yeah," Fox said, scratching his head. "Home of Star Fox. And my dad says I'll have a spot there, if I keep working hard at it."

Falco cleared his throat much louder than necessary, elbowing me.

"You okay?" Relics asked.

"He's fine," I said, scowling at the bird. "Maybe he's just jealous of Fox, here."

"Well, you never know," Fox said, finally getting everyone to enter the great ship. "If you do good enough in the simulator, you might impress my dad. But...don't count on it."

"Why not?" Falco asked.

"Come on," I said. "It's James McCloud, leader of the fabled Star Fox team. I wonder that anything would impress him."

"I don't know about 'fabled'," someone said from nearby.

_I know that voice_, I thought, turning toward it. I barely managed not to call the hare by his name as he approached.

"Peppy," Fox said, giving him a salute.

"Relax, Fox, this isn't the time for that. Who are your friends?"

"Oh. Uh…you know Bill, Falco, and Miyu. This is Ditto, Krystal, and Relics," he said, gesturing toward us. "Guys, this is Peppy Hare."

Peppy approached Relics and looked him up and down, before offering him a hand.

"You're the exchange student, right?" he asked as they shook hands.

"Yeah," Relics replied. "Er, uh...yes sir."

"Relax; this isn't the military."

"Yeah, tell that to James," I heard from a different direction. I watched Pigma move to stand beside Peppy, and barely managed not to draw in a breath through my teeth; I assumed hissing at Star Fox was a bad idea.

"_Something wrong?_" Krystal asked silently as he struck up a conversation with Peppy.

"_Yeah_," I replied. "_Pigma would sell his mother to the devil for a quick buck._"

"_You don't trust him?_"

"_Not on his life,_" I replied darkly. "_Let's just go._"

"Wait, hold on," she called when I abruptly turned to continue down the hallway. I stopped, and nobody else seemed to notice my escape attempt.

"Hmm?"

"You can't just leave."

"Krystal, I don't like him," I said, trying to keep my voice down.

"_I know. I know _just_ how much you hate him. But you can't just leave everyone. Relics will be asking why._"

I took in a sharp breath, before scowling at Pigma. I softened my expression and glanced at Relics, then back at Krystal. "_I know,_" I said, letting my head hang slightly.

"_And you know he can't be asking too many questions._"

"_I know that, too. Alright, I'll suffer through this. But I'm not going to talk to him. Or, if I do, I won't be calm._"

"_As long as you don't bite him,_" she said humorously.

"_We'll see,_" I said, trying to lighten up as we took the few steps back to the others.

"So, what's goin' on? What are they doin' here?" Pigma asked.

"We're using the simulator," Falco said.

"Oh, ho ho, so ol' James is letting you blow each other to bits, huh?" he asked. I couldn't help another scowl at his too-familiar laugh.

"Yeah, and we should get going," I said.

"He's right," Fox agreed. I almost sighed my relief.

"Good to meet you, Peppy," I said, beginning the goodbyes. I was a little upset that I hadn't had much of an opportunity to properly meet Peppy, but because it meant getting away from Pigma, I got over it. And as I said goodbye, nobody seemed to notice when I ignored Pigma again. Everyone else finished their goodbyes, blissfully unaware of the well-renowned pig's true loyalties, and we eventually continued on our way, with Fox leading the group.

I thought the Great Fox had looked big when I'd seen it before, but as Fox led us through it on the shortest possible path to the simulation room, I got a whole new perspective on just how enormous it was. I found it hard to believe that only the members of Star Fox lived on it, but according to Fox, that was the case. I tried to figure out what all of the space was used for, but I had quite a hard time. I knew that they spent indefinite time aboard the ship, so I assumed they had a way to get clean water from various sources. They had to have a garden of some kind, for both oxygen and food. They probably had some way to clean their clothing. And there had to be a room for all of the arwings and landmasters that must have been stored on the ship somewhere. I shook my head. Even if I took all of that and multiplied it by ten, it wouldn't fill all of the space.

_Unless there's a city on-board_, I thought. It seemed likely that all of Roswell High could fit on-board without taking up too much of the space. I nodded to myself; unless I figured out more about the ship later, that would be true in my mind, like the fact that Falco used sorcery to talk.

"_What?_" Krystal asked when she heard that thought.

"_You should stop listening to my mind_," I warned her. "_You could easily see something you don't want to see._"

"_Oh? Like what?_" she asked. I struggled to keep my mind from conjuring any images, specifically of unclothed humanoids, and she apparently got the general idea before helping my mind to calm down.

"_But why do you say Falco uses sorcery?_" she asked.

"_I flipped a coin_," I replied.

"_What?_" she asked with a laugh.

"_What? It's foolproof._"

"_So Falco is a sorcerer?_"

"_No, he just uses sorcery. Just like how I'm not a psychic, but I know the future._"

"_That...that doesn't make sense._"

"_Oh, alright, then; you ask him._"

"_Ask him what? If he's magical?_"

"_That, or how he makes those sounds with his beak._"

"_I think that's just your translator._"

"_That was the other option in the coin flip. I just wasn't sure._"

"_Okay, please tell me you're kidding with all this._"

"_Yeah,_" I admitted.

"_Good. Be careful what you say, because coming from another dimension means I'll believe you._"

"_Really? Because I thought being able to _read my mind_ was a big reason you trust me._"

"_Well, it's _a_ reason, but –_"

"You two are doing it again, aren't you?" Bill asked, interrupting Krystal. I finally noticed that most of the group was staring at us.

"What?" I asked.

"Your weird psychic mind-talking crap. You're doing it right now, huh?"

"Uh...yeah, actually," I said. "Good guess."

"So, what were you two talking about?" Relics asked.

"Whether Falco's a sorcerer," I said with a laugh.

"What?" Relics asked. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's what we were talking about," I replied. "And besides, she was defending him."

"So why would _you_ think I was a sorcerer?" Falco asked.

I shrugged. "Something about your beak, and how so much sound can come from it."

"I know he's got a big mouth, but I wouldn't call it sorcery," Bill said. "He's just full of himself."

"Well, it's hard not to be, when you're as awesome as me," Falco said.

"Really?" I asked. "I bet you'll be the third one shot down."

"No way," Falco said.

"Well, I don't think Bill can outlast you..."

"Hey!"

"...and I don't think Krystal has had any experience. No offense, of course."

"You're on," Falco said.

"Anyone else want in on this?" I asked.

"I don't think he'll be in the final three," Fox said.

"Of course. The top three are Fox, his crazy – er...his zealous girlfriend, and Relics."

"What? Me?" Relics asked.

"Yeah. I saw that fight against Wolf," I lied, "and I think you can handle yourself."

"That was...uh..."

"A fluke?" I asked. "You beat the tar out of a pretty big dude. With claws. And teeth. That's an awesome fluke."

"Well...either way, I don't know how to fly an arwing."

"Eh, I think you'll have a chance to learn. Not like I'll be the ace of the skies. Or...the space."

The idle conversations continued for the next few minutes as Fox led us through, up, and around what seemed like the entire ship. I kept telling myself that it was the shortest path, but I found it harder and harder to believe as we walked more and more. I hoped Krystal would give me an update on how much longer our journey would be, but she seemed deeply involved in a conversation with Miyu, so I had to use my own intuition. Oddly enough, I had no idea when Fox turned abruptly into a nearby room, so I almost kept going down the hallway. Krystal did help me that time, grabbing my arm and forcing me into the room.

"And here we are," Fox said once inside the room. I took it in slowly.

The room itself wasn't too spectacular; it was big, sure, but its walls were a bland gray, and not much at all adorned them. There were a series of special-looking chairs in the room, which made me think of The Matrix, though I hoped we wouldn't be in life-threatening danger by entering them. There was a main console off to the side of the room, and sitting in the main chair was James McCloud, donning his shades.

"So, these are your friends?" he asked when he noticed Fox. He stood and approached us, and I wondered every few seconds which one of us he was watching under those glasses. "Falco, Bill...Miyu," he said, nodding to each one in turn. "And who are these?"

"Dad, this is Krystal, Ditto, and Relics."

"I know _him_," James said, staring hard at Relics. "The humans' last try at peace, or so they say."

"I _am_ trying," Relics said, meeting James' glare.

"And beating up Wolf?" James asked knowingly.

"I...uh...well, he was..." Relics stammered. James began to laugh, though, silencing Relics quickly.

"Don't get me wrong," he said once the laughter subsided, "I don't think you should have been the one to teach him that lesson. But I'm glad someone finally did."

"Well, he deserved it," I said.

"Oh, right. Ditto and...Krystal, was it?" he asked. We both nodded. "It's good to meet you both. Not every day I see a human, Ditto; much less two. You'll have to tell me your story soon. But not now; you all may as well get started."

"Alright!" Bill shouted, rushing toward one of the seats. Falco walked much more calmly toward the machines, just like Fox and Miyu, but Relics, Krystal and I were pretty much just staring at them uncertainly. I had no idea what Relics' problem was, but I was just unsure of how to use them. But Krystal quickly took my hand and pulled me forward, probably taking the little bit of knowledge from someone else's mind.

"Are these...safe?" Relics asked. I remembered how well-versed he seemed in things from the 21st century, and wondered if he was thinking of The Matrix, too.

"Of course," Fox said.

"Relax," I said. "They won't unplug you, either way."

"What?" Relics asked, looking at me wide-eyed. "How'd you know...?"

"Lucky guess," I replied, climbing into the chair at Krystal's bidding.

"Now just lean your head back, close your eyes, and wait."

"That's it?" I asked, doing what she'd said to do. "How's this work, anyway? Like, brainwaves, or –"

I felt a sudden shock shoot through my spine, all the way sown to my toes, and couldn't help taking in a sharp breath. My eyes flashed open, but instead of a white ceiling, I was looking out a bluish force field at a starry night sky. I let out the breath, trying to take in my new surroundings. There wasn't much, though; beside me was an open arwing, waiting to be flown. And in the small room, there didn't seem to be anything else; no doors, windows, or anything on the walls that wasn't necessary.

"Cool," I whispered, getting as close as I could to the force field. I couldn't get too close, because the floor suddenly dropped off a few feet before the exit. Outside, I saw a reddish planet and its moon in the distance, surrounded by twinkling stars too numerous to count. There was one dime-sized star that stood out from all the others, and I assumed it was the planet's sun. The scenic view was disrupted, though, when I saw a pair of arwings fly into view, one of them clearly at a disadvantage.

_Do a barrel roll_, I thought in Peppy's voice, laughing to myself. After a few seconds, where the two arwings began to circle each other to get a clear shot, I climbed into the arwing and closed the windshield. Not nearly as many buttons and switches were in this one, but once the windshield was closed, it began to initiate everything by itself. Before long, a HUD appeared, showing me who was fighting outside of my windshields, and even their shield amounts.

_Poor Bill_, I thought as Fox got a great hit with a charge beam, half-depleting Bill's shields. I wasn't too eager to get out there, even after Falco and Miyu showed up.

"_You've got to move eventually_," Krystal said.

"_You can talk from this far away?_" I asked.

"_It's the simulator. I can talk to you halfway across the universe in here._"

"_Cool,_" I said.

"_Now get out here. I want to see you scared._"

"_What? You think you can shoot me down?_" I asked.

"_I'll manage,_" she said knowingly. I only had to wonder what she meant for a moment, when my arms suddenly forced me to lift off, as if they had a mind of their own.

"_You cheater,_" I said as the ship passed through the force field.

"_I'm just making it more interesting,_" she said. I glanced around the HUD for a radar of some kind, or some way to now where anyone was, but other than Fox, Miyu, and Falco, along with Bill's destroyed ship, I couldn't find anyone.

"_Head's up!_" Krystal shouted. I glanced up, and saw her ship heading straight for mine. I panicked, and dove straight down, but she'd planned that. That began a game of cat-and-mouse, and I knew exactly which one of us was the mouse. I quickly wondered whether she was reading my mind still; every turn I made, every maneuver I tried, she mimicked closely. Of course, I didn't do much, because I was still getting used to the controls, but even with her only shooting every few seconds, my shields were half-gone in almost no time. After a few minutes of this game, I noticed a small yellow caution symbol in the corner of the windshield.

"What the –" I began, when a blinding flash of red filled the cockpit. The ship shook hard as the light disappeared, and I looked up, seeing Fox with a grin on his face as my shields hit zero.

_Target lock warning_, I realized. _Got it_.

Not really wanting to get shot down, I pushed both control sticks forward as hard as I could, accelerating in hopes of getting Fox and Krystal to get in a dogfight.

"You're finished," Fox said through a com, before one of my wings was shot off.

"You can talk to me?" I asked as the ship began to wobble. I wondered how, seeing as how it wasn't using the wings in space anyway, but I dismissed the thought as panic took its place.

"Duh," he replied, shooting a few times to hit the other wing. At this point, I began to jerk both control sticks in every direction, hoping to avoid death somehow. The small caution symbol returned, and I continued my frantic maneuvering, losing all sense of reason. All of a sudden, the ship spun much faster than I expected, and everything received a blue-green tint.

_Okay_, I thought. _I got shot down. Now comes the exploding part_.

But I didn't. Actually, I heard Fox grunt as something hit his ship, and my own quickly righted itself.

"What just happened?" I asked after a few moments. I heard Fox shout more, before I heard an explosion behind me, and suddenly wished I could see behind my ship.

"Krystal?" I asked. The only response was a few shots to the back of my ship, sending it spiraling down into space for a few seconds.

_Crap_, I thought, before a bright orange flash sent me back into the Great Fox. I sat up slowly, once I was sure of where I was, and watched Fox, Miyu, Falco, and Bill all doing the same. It took a few seconds for the dizziness to subside, and a little longer for my vision to clear.

"How'd you do that?" Fox asked once I managed to stand.

"Do what?" I asked uncertainly.

"A barrel roll. The ship spins and gives a short burst to its shields, or what's left of them. It'll deflect just about anything that hits you. I didn't know these ships could do them until a few weeks of practice, and then only because my dad told me. How'd you do one on your first try?"

"Uhh...on accident?" I said. "I was just panicking. Looks like it worked for me, though."

"Until you got shot down," Falco pointed out. "By your own girlfriend, too."

"Yeah, what was that about?" Fox asked. "You said she wouldn't have any skill."

"Well, gee, _I'm_ not telepathic," I told him, hoping he would catch the hidden message.

"Oh, you've got to be joking," Falco said angrily. "She cheated?!"

"No," I said, hoping he wouldn't give her secret away to James. She probably wouldn't care, but I didn't just want to assume; I wouldn't want her doing the same to me, after all.

"I bet poor Relics is getting whooped," Bill said.

"Why not watch?" James said. We walked over to the console, where a few images could be seen of the fight still playing out. I smirked as I saw what Krystal was doing; she was just toying with him, using her knowledge of several people's experiences. But as the fight stretched into minutes, Relics began to get the hang of the controls, and actually managed to land a few hits. At one point, he gained the upper hand in only a few seconds, and I wondered if he was using his unique gift of seeing things at a near-standstill. For almost a full minute, he showed near-perfect reaction time, and Krystal's ship took hit after hit. He couldn't use the gift for log, though, and he began to slowly lose the battle, despite their difference in shielding energy. Relics did continue to improve at an impressive rate, but every time he improved, she did as well, so the battle could only continue until she got bored.

"Cheater," Bill muttered as the pair returned to Corneria.

"Well, the mind _is_ her territory," I said as she rose and walked toward us.

"You're not mad, are you?" she asked.

"Of course!" Bill shouted. I laughed him off, shaking my head.

"Of course not. I thought I'd get shot down before Bill, but I outlasted Fox."

"You got lucky," Falco told me.

"Yeah, I know, but I still outlasted you. When did you get shot down?" I asked. "Were you third?"

He bristled for a moment, before looking down. "Second."

I couldn't help but to laugh. He bristled once more, and pointed a finger at me. "Just wait 'till next round, I'll show you what's what."

"I think next round should be between Relics, Bill, and you," I said. I didn't know how I would explain it, but I just needed Relics and Bill to be gone while I told Fox the truth.

"Why?" Bill asked.

"Because..." I began, piecing an idea together. "I think if Fox, Krystal, or Miyu was in there, it wouldn't be a fair fight. And I can't stay lucky forever, so we know I'd get shot down first."

"Then how's it fair if I'm in there?" Relics asked. "I only survived because everyone left me alone."

"You almost kept up with Krystal. And she's a cheater."

"I am not," she said, elbowing me playfully.

"What's all this about a cheater?" James asked. My eyes widened, and I turned toward him abruptly.

"She's...uh...Krystal can...er..." I stammered. It sounded odd when telling someone, especially an adult.

"I can read minds," Krystal said, lowering her head. James stared at me, then Krystal, and then back at me.

"You expect me to believe that?" James asked.

"It's true, Dad," Fox said. "She...talked into my mind once."

"Hmm..." James said, looking at his own son. "Then maybe she wouldn't mind proving it?"

"Okay," Krystal said, perking up slightly.

"Prove it how?" Fox asked.

"How about this: guess what number –"

"Twelve," Krystal said matter-of-factly. I chuckled.

"Okay," he said slowly, "but anyone can do that, if they can read people. Why not tell me when...no, that won't work; anyone can find out a date."

"Why not talk into his mind?" Fox asked, mimicking my own thoughts.

"Okay," she said, nodding once. She squinted at James for a moment, before his eyes widened, and he crossed his arms.

"Alright. So she can read minds," James said. "But why do you all call her a cheater?"

"She can read their minds and take their experience," I said. "And occasionally force them into doing something they don't want to do."

"She can what?" Bill asked, backing away.

"I can't normally do that," she said. "And I wouldn't do it to any of _you_."

_Except me, apparently_, I thought.

"I might need a minute to get used to this," James said. "But you kids can feel free to do another round."

"Alright," Bill said. "May as well do Ditto's idea. C'mon, Relics."

_That went better than I'd hoped_, I thought. Relics, Falco, and Bill got into the chairs again, obviously smack-talking the whole time, and I waited until they were in before I turned to Fox.

"Is there any way to slow them down?" I asked. "This could take a while."

"What could take a while?" James asked.

"Well, I promised to tell Fox...the truth. All of it. Why I'm here, who I am, and whatnot."

"And what about them?" Fox asked.

"I don't plan on telling Bill at all, and Relics...I think it'd be better if he never found out."

"Why?"

"I...don't really know. His help might be useful, but...he might also freak out and try to kill me. I don't know."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Miyu asked.

"Can you slow them down?" I asked again.

"I think so," Fox said, looking at the console.

"You can," James said, going to the console. "But you'd better have a good reason for this."

"I do," I said. I waited for him to return, and then looked carefully at the people waiting to hear what I was going to say. Krystal, thankfully, was at my side, but Miyu, Fox, and James stared at me expectantly.

"Where do I start?" I asked idly. "Well, the short story is that I'm from another universe."

"What?" Fox asked.

"You're kidding," Miyu said. "Right?"

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "The longer story is that I went to sleep on Earth, a few centuries ago, and woke up on Corneria last week."

Fox and James seemed to be trying to understand, but Miyu was having none of it.

"What, do you think we're stupid? What kind of joke is this? Krystal?" she asked.

"It's true," Krystal nodded. Miyu squinted at Krystal, before looking back at me.

"It gets weirder," I said before she could say anything else. "This whole universe...it follows a story I read a little while ago. Like I was put into the story itself."

"Hang on, so you know everything that's gonna happen?" Fox asked. "Then..." he began, looking around. "Prove it. Who wins this simulation, Bill, Relics, or Falco?"

"I don't know," I told him. Before he or Miyu could complain about that, I tried to explain. "I would have known, except that this whole thing, this night, never happened. Relics was supposed to spend today home alone instead of going to school. And nobody was going to come to play with these simulators."

"So..." Fox began.

"This is crazy," Miyu interrupted him. "You can't prove it."

"No, I can't," I admitted.

"So what kind of joke is this?" Miyu asked, slowly getting angrier. "And what about you, Krystal, how'd he trick you into this? I mean, you're supposed to be a mind-reader, aren't you?"

"He didn't trick me," Krystal said.

"Yeah, maybe we should listen," Fox said.

Miyu stared at me, taking deep breaths and giving me a look that would kill if it were possible.

"Miyu?" Fox asked.

"I'll listen," she said. "But you'd better start making sense soon."

"Thank you," Fox said, before turning back to me. "Now, start at the beginning. When did...when did you get here?"

"A week before school started," I told him. "Same time as Krystal, actually."

"What's that have to do with you?" Fox asked.

"We...don't really know," Krystal said.

"Then why mention it?" Miyu asked.

"I'm getting there," I told her. "Before school even started, I found out about these," I said, rolling up my sleeve. The three marks down my arm sat there glowing dully, a constant reminder of who, exactly, I was.

"What are those?" Fox asked.

"What, you actually cut yourself just to make this joke more believable?" Miyu asked.

"How would I make them glow?" I asked, beginning to lose patience with her.

"Okay, so it's a tattoo, then?" she asked. I was almost tempted to prove, once and for all, that I wasn't lying, but I knew that the fourth _Sin_ was the last one I could safely use, so I calmed myself down.

"Miyu, I would know if it wasn't real," Krystal said.

"So what are they?" Fox asked again.

"I call them Sins of the Unforgotten. That's...just a quote from a cartoon, but it fits pretty well. They appear right after...well, after I..." I began. I didn't quite know how to say it.

"After you what?" Fox asked.

"I don't really know what happens, but I can do just about whatever I want for a couple seconds. Once it's done, one of these appears, and I can't get rid of them at all."

"Wait, what do you mean, 'do whatever you want'?" Fox asked.

"Well, I could move a pencil across a desk..."

"That's...interesting."

"...or I could create an entire planet from nothing, complete with a native –"

"That's it!" Miyu shouted, stomping toward me. "Can you even take anything seriously? Here, I thought maybe you were actually being serious, but you expect us to believe that you came from another universe?! And you can just create planets, whenever you want?! You're insane!"

"Miyu," Krystal began.

"Krystal, tell me you don't believe him," she said. "He needs help."

"Well..." Krystal said slowly, looking toward me.

"You've got to be – Fox? Please tell me you don't believe this."

He sighed, looking down in thought. After a few tense moments, he looked up at me.

"I want to trust you, as a friend, but I don't believe it. I'm sorry. Don't you have any real proof?" he asked.

I shook my head. "These _Sins_. That's my only proof. But I don't want to use one right now, since I'm pretty sure something really bad happens when I hit five. And because I used one to find Relics, and the other two saved my life, I have to save this last one."

"Saved your life?" Fox asked.

"I'm done," Miyu abruptly said, walking toward the exit.

"Wait, wait, wait!" I shouted, holding out my hands toward her. She stopped and sighed, before muttering something and turning toward me.

"Huh?" she asked.

"There might be proof," I said.

"What?" Fox asked.

"Yeah," I said, starting to get excited. "The first time one of these saved my life, I had to fly an arwing. A real one."

"What?" Fox asked again. James finally showed some sign of being interested, rather than lost in thought.

"It was Monday night. Remember that arwing spotted flying around? That was me!"

"Then where's your proof?" Miyu asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "But can't these simulators give me a real arwing? The one I had before had hardly any buttons, compared to the real one."

"How many more buttons?" James asked.

"Uh...I don't know...maybe twenty, thirty?"

"Well, I'll bite; there's no way he could know that for sure," Fox said. "Not without seeing an arwing."

"Oh, lucky guess," Miyu said. "I bet he wouldn't know the difference between the Alpha and Delta interfaces."

"Maybe not," I admitted, "but I was only in it for a couple of minutes. I _did_ find out how to steer it pretty well. And just now, I did a barrel roll."

"Big deal," she said. "You admitted that it was an accident."

"Yeah, but I still survived longer than _you_."

"What?! You survived longer than – of all the stupid things –"

"Calm down, Miyu," Fox said.

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

"Miyu, please," Krystal said.

"No! I've had about enough of you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!" she shouted at me.

"Enough, you two," James said. Miyu silenced herself quickly, but her claws were still bared, and I took a step away from her.

James continued. "I don't think Ditto would go through all this trouble just to play a prank on us."

"So you believe him?" Fox asked.

"Not yet. But it would explain why Pepper didn't know about that missing arwing..."

"Oh, yeah," Fox said. "What about that? Who did you even take it from?"

I blanched. "I took...er...it was...uh..." I stammered. I couldn't just tell them about the human spies. Especially not James.

"Come on, Ditto," Krystal said. "Just tell him."

"Krystal, I can't –"

"What can't you do?" Miyu asked.

"Tell you," I replied.

"And why not?" she asked.

"Don't lie," James said.

"It's..." I began.

"Just some military guys," Krystal said. "They kidnapped us after Relics' date."

"What?" James asked angrily. "Military? Who? What did they look like?"

"They were –" she began.

"Krystal!" I shouted, stopping her from mentioning it.

"They were what?" Fox asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

"See?" Miyu said. "I told you they have something to hide. He's lying."

"Okay," I said, looking down. "They were..." I began, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Of all the people on Corneria, it would only be worse for General Pepper to hear about those three. And if I told James, he would probably find out soon.

"Humans," Krystal finished before I could say it.

I only lowered my head further as her words dawned on me. Miyu was the only one who didn't shout something right away, which was a welcome change. But I was too worried about Fox and James' accusations to care.

"What?! What humans?" Fox asked.

"Do you know who?" James asked at the same time.

"Please calm down," I said. They didn't.

"How many were there?" Fox asked.

"Where did they take you? Where are they now?"

James quickly realized that he was getting nowhere, and silenced Fox in the middle of his next question. Once everyone had taken a deep breath, he spoke.

"Tell me everything you know about them," he said.

"I don't know much," I replied. "They kidnapped me, mumbled a bunch about other agents, and –"

"Agents?" James asked. "How many were there?"

"I don't know," I lied. "Three? Maybe four? I was more concerned with escaping than figuring out what they were doing here."

"And you're sure they were humans?" James asked.

"As similar as monkeys and humans may be, yes, I'm sure. I had to knock one out, and the other...threatened Krystal."

"Hmm..." James said, looking down slightly with his hand on his chin. "I don't know about this whole 'separate universe' thing, but if you're telling the truth about these humans..."

"How'd she get out?" Fox asked after James didn't continue.

"Every man's weakness," I replied with a smirk.

"He did _not_ touch me," Krystal clarified. "I just...taught him a lesson."

"Good job," Miyu said. She sighed. "So...you really aren't lying, are you?"

"I need to take care of something," James said abruptly, rushing out of the room. I watched him go, and then turned to Miyu.

"I almost wish I was," I replied. "I may have just completely jacked up the storyline."

"Storyline?" Fox asked. "Oh, yeah. We're 'just a story'," he added with a hint of sarcasm.

"No, you aren't," I said. "This universe is as real as the one I come from. And with me here...everything can change. Everything is changing."

"Why do you think it's so messed up all of a sudden?" Krystal asked.

"James McCloud has serious connections with Corneria's military. With all this..." I began, before I perked up. "With all of these changes, maybe those humans will leave the planet for a bit."

"That'd be nice," Krystal replied.

"You're not related to these...'agents', right?" Fox asked.

"Of course not. Why would I tell you they were here if I was?"

"Oh. Good. And what about...?" Fox began, turning toward Relics.

"He's not either," I lied.

"Are you sure?" Fox asked. "He's the humans' ambassador. If there are spies here, he would probably –"

"He doesn't know anything about them," I said sternly. "Which reminds me, Relics can't know. Anything."

"What?" Fox asked.

"Why?" Miyu asked right after Fox.

"He's a very important person right now. If he finds out, I should be the one to tell him. And I don't plan on letting him find out."

"Don't be so dramatic," Miyu said. "What could possibly happen?"

"Probably not much," I admitted. "But he...he's more powerful than you think."

"He can't create planets, can he?" Fox asked.

"No. But like you said, he's the humans' ambassador. If something happens to him, it could start a universal war."

"You...you really think Corneria's that close to a war?" Krystal asked.

"I hope not," I admitted. "But...if those spies are found..."

"No," Fox said. "I know my dad, and he knows General Pepper. Neither one would start a war that we couldn't win."

"But would they start a war that they knew Corneria couldn't lose?" I asked. "I don't want a war to start at all."

"They –" Fox began. He stopped and looked down without finishing the statement, though.

"That's why I think I just messed something up."

"You didn't," Miyu said. "If the humans were stupid enough to send spies, then maybe we should teach them a lesson."

"Are you sure Corneria doesn't have any spies?" I asked.

"Of course we don't!" Fox said angrily. "General Pepper would never give orders to spy on the humans! We're actually trustworthy, unlike humans."

"Hey, whoa, don't bring me into this. I didn't do anything but tell your dad about the spies. According to Corneria, I did the right thing."

"And what about you?" Fox asked. "What did you just do, according to you?"

"Yeah," Krystal said. "If there's a war...Ditto, you'll just be another human. They'll kill you, too."

"Maybe," I said with a nod. "But that's why I'm doing everything I can to prevent a war."

"Nice start," Miyu scoffed.

"I'm new at this, okay? And that means I need your help. Fox, Miyu, please. This isn't about me, and whether I'm really telling the truth. This is about Corneria and Earth, Lylat and Solar."

"Solar?" Fox asked, humored.

"I don't know what you call the humans' system; I haven't exactly been taught all that's happened in the past few centuries."

"You know about Lylat, though," Miyu said.

"Yeah. There's a lot I know, generally speaking. There's more to this universe than one little story. But seriously; I need your help. Just...I don't know."

"I'll do what I can," Fox said. "I don't know if what you're saying is true, but I'll see if I can help."

"Good," I said.

"I'm not just going to blindly follow you," Miyu told me. "I still don't think you're telling the truth. But I guess I'll listen to Fox."

"That'll work," I told her.

"So, what's the plan?" Miyu asked. "I mean, if we're going to stop a war, then we'll need a good plan."

"I don't know," I said. Before they could add more, I interrupted them, "I didn't actually plan this far ahead. If I had, I wouldn't have mentioned the humans."

"Sorry about that," Krystal said. "I...guess I should have made sure you wanted to say it."

"It's okay," I said. "But you've never been shy about reading my mind; why didn't you do it that time?"

"It's not that easy," she said. "Especially when you get nervous. But I guess...I guess I just wasn't thinking straight."

"Don't beat yourself up about it," I replied. "After all, everyone here only knows that you're telepathic because I messed up."

"So you're both sorry, okay," Fox said. "I don't think you need to say it a hundred times."

"Oh," I said, looking at him with a knowing smirk, "and you two appear in the story. Together. It probably wouldn't go over too well if your parents found out just what you do when you're alone."

Fox's eyes widened slightly at those words.

"Alone?" Krystal asked. "They do it in public just as much."

"But they have their clothes on," I replied.

"Alright, okay," Fox said, glancing at the door. It was still closed, which apparently satisfied him. "Let's just…get back to the simulators, okay?"

"Sounds good," I replied. "You know how to return them to normal speed, right?"

"I think so," Fox replied, looking over the console. "Here it is. And he slowed them down a lot, too. I don't think anyone's even lost their shields yet."

"Then let's speed 'em up, and get this night started," I replied.

Fox messed with the console for a few seconds, before the images across a few of the monitors sped up to real time. We watched those images, pretending that the conversation hadn't just happened, but it just made the silence awkward. After what seemed like forever with the tension in the air, Bill was shot down, and returned to the Great Fox angrily.

"It's always you," I remarked.

"Just can it, okay?" he said. "Those jerks ganged up on me."

"Of course they did," I said with a smile. "Of course they did."

The rest of that battle went by quickly, due to how much experience Relics had gotten against Krystal. He was actually a really good pilot, and since Falco hadn't had as much experience as he did in various games, Relics dominated.

Once they returned, the rest of the night seemed to fly by. Fox set up a wide variety of fight types, including things like team rounds and timed matches. He managed to give us a choice on the arwings, beyond the general well-rounded ones we flew in the first fight. And I actually managed to get the hang of it; I shot down a few of the others, including Miyu, which she got me back for. It wasn't too one-sided, either; everyone but Krystal got shot down first at least one time. Even she was the second one destroyed a few times, though she was surprisingly able to match skill with Fox. He outright refused to go against her in a one-on-one duel; he claimed it was because she could cheat, but I thought it was more along the lines of him having a crush on her.

The whole night was fun; despite it being planned by accident, and me possibly wrecking the entire storyline, I didn't regret it. In fact, I was as upset as everyone else when James returned a few hours after leaving and declared that it was time we all went home.

"Just one more round," Fox pleaded.

"No," James said sternly. "There are a few things we need to talk about."

"Oh," Fox said. "Well, sorry, everyone."

"That's fine," Relics said. "Jason probably came back an hour ago, anyway."

"Oh," I said. "Now I feel like a jerk."

"Why?" he asked as we began to make our way outside.

"We kept him waiting. Away from his wife."

"That's perfectly fine," he said. "You have no idea how they act around each other."

"I think I –" I began, before remembering that he didn't know about me. "...don't want to know," I finished. "If it's anything like Fox and Miyu –"

"No. Worse. Much worse."

"Then don't even mention it," I said.

"Just hope that _he_ doesn't," he replied.

Fortunately, he didn't. Jason drove Krystal home first, then me, without an untoward word about the things he and his wife would eventually be doing. I would've thanked him for that, but I was afraid it would make him bring it up, and ruin the entire point of mentioning it. That's why I only did it as I was getting out of the car, upsetting Relics quite a bit.

I entered the house, ignoring Relics' fading threats, and found that Jake and Joanne were still awake, watching a movie together on the couch. After the obligatory minute or so of answering questions, I went upstairs quietly, and got ready for bed.

* * *

**A/N**: Well, there's a lot to say right now. First, I want to seriously thank the real XxSanitariumxX, who actually decided to read the beginning of this story _and leave reviews_. I tried to take his words to heart, and so this is what I came up with. In case you can't tell, I tried to make Miyu react strongly, because I almost made all three believe it as blindly as Falco and Jake did. That would've been a mistake, so thanks again, Sani.

In other news, I leave tomorrow for my 2-week mission trip. I had wanted to give you guys two more updates by now, but Skyrim is just too good a game. I'll do my best (not "fastest") once I get back, because my plans for the next few chapters have got serious potential. Let's just hope I don't ruin it. But considering I could have left everyone on a huge cliffhanger by finishing one more chapter, I think I did well.

And with that, I believe I'm done for now. The next two Sundays (maybe three), there will not be updates. And when I come back, maybe Sani will have more critiques for me. Which reminds me; if you see anything I've done wrong, or could've done better, please tell me. It's hard enough to deeply emulate three minds; it's even harder to emulate a girl's mind.

EDIT: Okay, Erdervv (if that's how it's spelled) already left a helpful review, and I tried to change the story to fit with it, since I found that I agreed with him. If you're interested in what changed, I made James McCloud less accepting of Krystal's telepathy. Thanks, Erdervv!

My bad. E_**R**_dervv. Fixed that.

EDIT2: Whew! Back from Tijuana, and "safely" in Tepic. But now my computer's acting up. I'll...er...get an update in when I can. And I have no idea how long that could take.

As a side note, XxSanitariumxX thinks I ought to end this story soon, so that I can start a more original idea. Anyone else's thoughts? Am I being a jerk and trying to steal his limelight? Am I bolstering his story? Should I end it now, or keep it going for a million more chapters? (exaggeration used)


	27. Chapter 27: The Beginning of the End

**A/N:** Okay, alright, feel free to flame me. I haven't uploaded in at least two full months, when I only predicted to be out of commission for a week or two. So, I do apologize. And that won't be the end of it, either. But here's a little bit more of Ditto's story, and I hope that will suffice. As always, it's recommended that you read what's come before, or this will not make much sense. And in fact, it may not make sense either way. I am amateur, after all.

Oh, and as a **DISCLAIMER:** I don't own anything you see below. Ditto may be mine, but it's not a particularly well-made character anyway.

* * *

The kitchen in my family's house became a whirlwind of activity in the morning, even though it was the day off for most of the house. Everyone was pitching in to help make a big buffet-style breakfast, complete with eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, and even hash browns; it was the sort of meal that made me hungry just thinking of it, and would probably make Relics retch with its overpowering scent. But he was weird.

They had apparently all done it before, with how smoothly everything seemed to go. Everyone had a job, and took care of it without question or complaint. Even Ruth had a job, whisking the eggs. And even though they hadn't ever had my help, they decided I was worthy of cooking the bacon. It was an honor that wasn't lost on me, and I barely stopped myself from sneaking a few pieces as it sizzled and popped. But it wasn't a very fast-paced job, so it didn't really keep my mind off of the previous night.

I had actually had a dream. For the first time while outside of reality, I had a dream. I couldn't remember the entire thing, or even a large portion of it, but I did remember that Krystal and Relics were in it. And I was flying, but that wasn't unusual at all. All that was really unusual was that I had even had the dream, rather than merely skipping the night. And that fact kept my mind running in circles all morning.

Somehow, distracted as I was, I managed not to burn the bacon. At least, I didn't according to Jake, but when he took an already well-done piece and put it back on the pan, I wondered whether I should take his word. Nobody else complained, though, as the various foods were gathered and set at the table. The smell of breakfast finally pushed away the troubling thoughts of the previous night as I sat at the table, and I only had to wait until Jake said grace (which I didn't expect) before I was allowed to dig in.

"So, what are you doing today?" Michael asked.

"Yeah, Ditto, what are you doing?" Ruth mimicked.

"I don't know," I mumbled through a mouthful of bacon and eggs.

"What do you mean, 'you don't know'?" Colin asked. It suddenly occurred to me that he had cooked the eggs, so I'd probably end up picking fur out of the food. I didn't dwell on it for too long before I swallowed and replied.

"The less I know about my plans, the less those news people know," I said, tilting my head toward the front of the house, where at least one cameraman probably waited.

"Well, at least they're focusing more on Relics than you," Michael said.

"Well, yeah," I replied. "He's the one who has the weight of two worlds on his shoulders, not to mention his skill in fighting and guitar playing. I'm just a tourist, with no notable skills and a very poor knowledge of the recent past."

"What do you –" Colin began.

"Let's just say I've been living under a rock for a few years," I said, hoping to save my blunder.

"What's that mean?" Ruth asked.

"I don't know what's going on anywhere," I said. It wasn't entirely true, but it answered her question.

"There's a good question," Joanne said. "What did you do before we took you in?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, hoping to give my mind some time to come up with something.

"Well," she began, setting her utensils down, "where did you live?"

I swallowed hard, and it had little to do with the meal I was eating. For one thing, I knew that she knew something about the truth, but I didn't know how much. And I was pretty sure she wouldn't tolerate any lying.

"Earth," I said, trying to keep my responses general. "But I didn't really hear much about our relations with Corneria."

"And how'd you come here? What was the journey like?"

"It didn't take as long as I thought it would," I said truthfully. "But it was quite a ride."

"But _why_?" Colin asked. "I mean, wasn't your life on Earth good? Why come here?"

"Well, I didn't know how Cornerians felt about humans, for one thing. And...I didn't really have a choice."

"Hmm?" Michael hummed. I glanced around, and noticed that I had somehow gotten most of the family's attention. _Great_, I thought.

"Well..." I began uncertainly.

"Are you another human bas-dor?" Ruth asked, sounding the last word out slowly. Joanne looked shocked.

"Ruth! Where did you learn that word?" she asked angrily.

"My teacher," the oblivious child replied. "She says that the humans are bas-dors. She says they'll help us, but nobody else believes her."

"Oh," Joanne said as her feathers smoothed themselves. "You mean he's an 'ambassador'. And Ditto isn't one."

"Good," she said, looking at me. "It sounds boring."

"I don't know," I said, glad that she had changed the subject. "My friend Relics is the real ambassador, and he's fun to hang out with."

"Is he the other human?" Ruth asked. "We saw him playing on the gyit-tar," she tried, having trouble with the new word, "and he was good at it."

"Yes," Michael said, annoyed. "That was Relics. Anyway, what are you doing today?" he asked me.

"You already asked that," I replied, remembering my half-eaten meal.

"And you didn't answer," he countered.

"Yeah, I did. I still don't know," I said. When he didn't say anything after a few seconds, I explained. "I'll probably just see if Krystal's free. Or, maybe Relics or Falco, I don't know."

"You don't have plans, then?" he asked. I looked at him suspiciously.

"Why?"

"Well, you still haven't tried out your hoverboard," he said. "Well, unless you count –"

"You're right," I interrupted. "So, what do you have in mind?"

"Why not go to the skate park?" he asked.

"There's a skate park?" I wondered aloud.

"Of course."

"But you have a board?" I asked.

"No. But we could share."

"I don't know..." I began, more focused on eating than planning the day.

"Then call the other human, and let's go," he said insistently.

"Why not Krystal?" I asked.

"Really? How many times have you two hung out since Monday?" he asked.

"Uhh..." I began, thinking back. "I dunno...let's say 'six'. Not including classes."

"Exactly. And we haven't hung out at all."

"Hey, I'll come," Colin said, glancing up from his toast. "We haven't hardly talked since school started."

"Can I come?" Ruth asked loudly.

"No!" Michael said sternly.

"Mike..." Joanne cautioned.

"You've got to be kidding me," he complained.

"If she wants to go..."

"She won't even do anything! She'll just wait there for five minutes before she gets bored and wants to come home!"

"And what's wrong with that?"

"But she...I mean...I...oh, fine," he growled when he realized he wouldn't be able to leave her behind.

"Yay!" Ruth shouted happily.

"I'll just go get Relics," I said, excusing myself from the table to find a quieter spot to use my translator-communicator.

* * *

"Did you have to bring your entire family?" the pale teenager asked as we entered the indoor skate park just ahead of Mike, Ruth, and Colin. I looked around uncertainly as he paused for effect, trying to take in the unfamiliar surroundings. It was large for an indoor skatepark, or so I assumed. Ramps and rails of wood and metal adorned the otherwise bare building, which would've otherwise looked like a warehouse. I did recognize some empty pool-looking structures from older skating games I'd played sometime, but I scrunched my eyebrows upon seeing a few that were actually filled with water. Relics continued before I could ask about them. "I mean, come on, I didn't bring Jason or Chloe."

"Really?" I asked, staring at him with the straightest face I could muster as I forgot the water. "You're really going to try to make that point? Those two probably have better things to do."

"Yeah...well, I didn't invite Lana."

"And I didn't invite Krystal," I countered.

"I'd rather you have invited her, Lana, _and_ Miyu. I mean, who are these people?"

"The foster children of the family that took me in," I answered nonchalantly. "Meet Mike, Colin, and Ruth."

"So, your new brothers and sister?"

"I don't think of them like that," I said, quieter than before. "I mean, I've only known them for a couple weeks."

"Well, are they any fun?"

"They're Cornerian," I replied, hoping that would say enough. In my mind, it meant "yes", but I quickly realized that Relics would probably have the opposite reaction.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked eventually.

"Well, look at you, being tolerant," I said, pretending to be impressed. "You almost act like you don't hate Cornerians."

"I don't hate anyone."

"Oh, come on. You thought Bill would bite you when you first met him. I was there."

"Can you blame me?" he asked. "He looks like a dog."

"Well, at least he doesn't look like a spider," I countered. He blanched.

"That's not funny," he said, fueling my laughter.

"If I ever meet a spider Cornerian, I'll be sure you two meet."

"I'll kill you," he threatened.

"Unless I hide behind a spider," I said with a smirk.

"Hey, quit laughing. Those things are creepy."

"Ever seen 'Eight-Legged Freaks'?" I asked.

"Not happening," he declared.

"I'm never gonna leave you alone about that," I assured him. "It's just too easy."

I looked around after a few moments of silence, and realized that the other three had gone their own way.

"Weird," I said under my breath. "They don't even have a board."

"I have a board," Relics said, holding his up. It was an ordinary skateboard, with a design very close to the one on his guitar. I still thought it looked like the Starfox symbol, but that was a coincidence that even I couldn't accept.

"That's not what I said," I replied. "But what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're at a skate park. Which of these...obstacles are you using?"

"'Obstacles'?"

"Oh, leave me alone. Not like I've ever done this."

"I can tell."

"I'm serious, though; what are you doing first?"

"It's not like I have a plan. You just kinda get on the board and do what you want. Just don't run into anyone."

"Well, yeah," I said under my breath as he got onto his and started skating. I watched him go around for a few minutes, without even considering getting onto my own board. After doing a few small tricks, he nearly lost his balance, but managed not to fall with his impossibly quick reaction time. After that, he quickly returned, trying not to rub his eyes too much.

"You alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine," he replied, still rubbing his eyes. "I'll just sit out for a while."

I stared at him for a few moments, trying to decide whether to mention his enhancements, but he didn't give me the chance.

"Are you gonna start?" he asked impatiently. I barely noticed Colin, Mike, and Ruth coming back, and I could easily tell that Ruth was complaining about something.

"Alright, then," I replied, dropping my board. With a soft humming sound, it came to life, and stopped falling just inches above the ground. I gave him a smirk and hopped onto it, quickly remembering how good it felt to be standing on a hoverboard. A feeling of weightlessness made my spine tingle, and the thrumming of the board seemed to pump energy through my legs, as if telling me to wake up and get moving. I quickly forgot about everyone else as I made a mental path through the ramps and rails.

"I'm not helping you if you get robbed," he warned.

"Jealous," I said slowly, before leaning forward. The board reacted to the subtle movement, and started forward slowly. But then, excitement got the best of me, and I leaned as far forward as I could, rocketing the board ahead at full speed.

In one smooth motion, the board flew across the bland ground and up the side of a makeshift quarter pipe, carrying my uncoordinated form into the air with it. My stomach jumped into my throat as the board reached the top of its jump, and it didn't go back down once I "landed" back on the ramp.

"Whoa!" I shouted helplessly as the board came down unevenly. Instead of taking a spill, like I would've on a normal skateboard, the hoverboard righted itself and I just kept going. And like it had a mind of its own, the board hopped up onto a rail, before I could swerve out of the way. It spun in a full circle before gliding to the ground, and I felt a smile come across my face, even though I was pretty sure I was nowhere near getting the hang of it. I let out a jubilant laugh and continued going in circles around the whole park, gliding effortlessly from one obstacle to the next.

When I finally did decide to stop, it was only because I heard a beeping on my right arm. I gave the translator a glance before making my way back to the others, both glad and upset that my run was over. I had no idea how long I'd been riding, but when I tried to dismount the hoverboard and my feet slapped the ground, my knees gave out, and Relics caught my arm.

"You okay?" he asked as I regained my footing.

"Yeah," I replied, massaging my legs. "I guess I lost track of time."

"No kidding," he said. "Your family left."

"What?"

"Yeah. The little bird started squawking, and I guess the others took her home."

"And they didn't even say goodbye," I said, acting upset as I picked up my hoverboard.

"They did," he said. "They shouted at you. You just kept going."

"Aw, man. Well, I'm gonna have to apologize for that."

"I don't think so. They weren't too mad. I think. I mean, I'm not too sure when the birds get mad, but the cat didn't have his fur up or anything."

"I'm not worried about Colin," I said. I glanced around, and noticed some vending machines not too far away, so I headed in that direction.

"What's that mean?" Relics asked, following closely.

"Colin doesn't really get emotional. I would've been worried about Mike. The raven."

"Why?"

"Oh, nothing," I said. "He just doesn't like hu-"

The translator on my arm chose that moment to loudly remind me of the message I'd received. I stopped mid-sentence and mid-step, and started to fiddle with it.

"Who's that?" Relics asked. "Is it your _girlfriend_?"

"No," I said, distracted by the device. For whatever reason, I was having trouble remembering the Cornerian symbols. "And don't you have your own girlfriend to worry about?"

"Don't remind me," he said, putting a hand on his forehead. He continued toward the vending machines, making me catch up after a few seconds. That action only distracted me further, though, and the translator refused to do what I wanted it to. About halfway to the machines, I managed to bring up the messaging application, and let a smile come across my face.

"My bad," I called. "It actually _is_ from Krystal."

Relics didn't respond immediately, because he was too busy laughing. Once he finished, he managed to ask, "What's it say?"

"Probably just 'Good morning'," I replied, pressing the necessary buttons. After a split second, the message opened, and I felt my blood run cold.

**Go to the school or she dies.**

* * *

**A/N**: Dun dun duunnn!

Okay, so I'm sorry again for the wait. And we can only hope that it doesn't happen again, especially considering I tried to make this a cliffhanger. In the future, I'll try to focus on quality over quantity, so shorter chapters should become a thing. And that means no more sudden 5000 word plus updates.

Anyway, please do tell me what you thought. I've been gone for a while, and I can only hope I've been improving, in terms of my writing ability. And if not, well, feel free to flame. I need a swift kick to the rear anyway, considering my poor discipline. (It took me at least ten times longer than it should've to write this.)


	28. Chapter 28: Relics

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters, settings, or representations in this story. That being said, if you want to sue me for any other reason, please do not. Just...read on at your own risk.

Oh, and the last chapter was one of the more exciting ones, so...yeah. I like trying to make funny stories, but it turns out, I'm not very great at that. I'll probably speed this story's ending up (hopefully without ruining it), so I can make a more serious story. Maybe that'll turn out better. People seem to like DotU more anyway.

* * *

"She'd say 'Good afternoon', not 'Good morning'," Relics corrected, oblivious to the message on the holographic screen. I continued to stare at my arm for a while longer, fighting the dizziness and lightheadedness that I suddenly felt. Relics stopped walking after a few seconds of silence and turned toward be, before concern clouded his features. "Something wrong?"

"N-no," I squeaked unconvincingly, reading the message again and again. I didn't need a hint as to who the "she" was; if, by some stroke of luck, it wasn't Krystal in danger this time, there still wasn't a question in my mind about trying to save the girl.

"Okay, what is it?" Relics asked.

"I don't know," I said, turning toward the nearest exit. "But I need to go."

"Whoa, whoa, hang on a second," he said, blocking my path. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Nowhere," I replied, trying to sidestep him. He stepped in my path once again, and I knew I didn't have a chance of getting out until he let me. I quickly stopped trying, looking him uncertainly in the eyes as I decided if it was a good idea to ask for his help.

"What's going on?" he eventually asked.

"I don't know," I said again, "but...okay, someone's in trouble."

"What?" he asked, eyes widening. "Who?"

"I don't know," I repeated. He squinted at me in disbelief, until I brought the translator up again. The message was still displayed; I'd forgotten to close it in my awe. "Here," I said, holding it up for him to see.

"Hmm..." he hummed quietly as he turned away.

"That's it?" I asked angrily, whipping the device to my side again.

"Well," he began, before stopping. "What am I supposed to say?"

"Nothing," I said sternly. "Unless you want to help, too."

He looked down for a moment. "Do you think they're dangerous?"

"No, Relics," I said sarcastically. "They threatened to kill her _with kindness_."

He gave a single laugh; sarcastic was how he knew me, after all. But concern clouded his features quickly.

"Well, then why would they tell you to go to the school? Why you? I mean, do you know what they want?"

"How should I know?" I asked, starting toward the exit.

"You're already ready to go to the school?" he asked, following.

"No," I replied. "I need to get some things from home first."

* * *

"Well, that was a waste of time," I commented as we headed toward the school on foot. Relics had followed me home, both of us riding our respective boards, only to find that Jake wasn't home. Even if I could've found the APIR and reflector, it would be suspicious if I suddenly left for the school so heavily armed. It wasn't an easy choice, but I could only hope that Relics' presence could make up for being unarmed. After all, he'd already fought unarmed through a school full of thugs to get to his girlfriend.

"So, let me get this straight," Relics abruptly said. "We're going to the school to rescue a girl, who we may not know and who may not be there, almost certainly walking into a trap, and you don't even know why you're being targeted?"

I merely shook my head.

"Hmm. So...what's the part you're not telling me?" he asked.

"What?"

"You've got to know either who took her, or why they took her," he said. "Otherwise, it could just be a prank."

"It isn't a prank," I assured him.

"Exactly," he said. "But how do you know that?"

"Because of all the crap that's already happened," I said, raising my voice slightly. I brought it back down and continued, "Look, Krystal's already been kidnapped twice. I've been taken once. And I think we've been taken together once, too. I think it would be weird if there was a day where nothing went wrong."

Relics cursed under his breath. "What did you do to tick so many people off?" he asked.

"I dunno. Maybe it's what I get for trying to date Krystal."

"Wait, how many of those kidnappings were your fault?"

"Hmm...there was..." I began, thinking aloud. "...all but one," I eventually said.

"Ditto...are you serious?"

"I know," I said. "You don't have to say it. I'm putting her in danger. But she can handle it. She's tougher than you think."

"No, Ditto. Even if she is, it can't be worth it. Even if she's..." he shuddered, "...crazy in the –"

"No, no, no! It isn't like that. We haven't done anything like that. And we wouldn't."

"Then let her go," he said. The words felt like a knife to my heart, and I wanted to fight them immediately, but he continued. "Your relationship is putting her in danger. You have to leave her, before she gets hurt."

"It isn't that easy," I said, but the words felt empty. "Relics, you can't ask me to do that."

"Why? You love her too much? Then let her live her life. If it's always your fault that –"

"What if it was Lana?!" I asked. "If I was asking you to leave Lana because you were putting her in harm's way, what would you do?"

"Lana isn't...I mean, she's not my...whatever, this isn't about us, it's about you and Krystal."

"Exactly," I said. "And I want to keep it that way."

"And what if she dies because of you?" he asked.

I hadn't seriously considered that. In this universe, it seemed that I wasn't even protected. And if she died...she would be gone, and there would be nothing I could do for her. I knew she wouldn't like it if I listened to Relics, but it was starting to look like I'd have to make a choice. If the choice was between living alone while she lived her life and living alone with regret about her death, it'd be easier, but it wasn't so simple. Deep down, I'd wanted to believe that she was as invincible as I thought I was. I thought nothing could hurt us, or our relationship. And now, Relics had me questioning everything.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I can't just leave her."

"I get it," he said. We walked in silence for a few moments, before he said, "How much easier it would've been if Krystal and Lana were humans, right?"

"Or we were Cornerians," I added, without thinking it through. I glanced at my arm, where a sleeve covered the three _Sins_, and wondered about that idea. I still had one left to safely use.

"Well, then I wouldn't be here. Hard to be a Human ambassador that's Cornerian."

I chuckled, despite myself. I lowered my arm, but I couldn't get the last thought out of my head. Of course, I would be hard-pressed to explain it to anyone else, but if I did try using the last _Sin_ to make myself a Cornerian, Krystal would be safe. Nobody would know I was human but her. Nobody would know I wasn't from Corneria. The thoughts were certainly attractive.

"Here we go," Relics said under his breath. I glanced up, and saw the school ahead. It felt like it loomed taller than usual, but even this feeling wasn't unfamiliar. Last time I felt like this, I'd chosen to leave Relics' girlfriend behind. This time, we wouldn't be leaving anyone.

"You aren't worried?" I asked.

"I don't see anything dangerous, yet," he said.

"So, would they actually want to talk? Without trying to kill us?" I asked. "Is it really not a trap?"

"I don't know. You haven't said who it is, or why they took her."

"Relics, you know about as much as I do right now," I lied. We kept silent as we crossed the empty street toward the school, and as we stepped up on the curb, Relics reached out an arm to stop me.

"Hang on," he said quietly. He tilted his head slightly for a moment, but then shook it. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

"Hear what?" I whispered.

"I don't know. It sounded like someone called me, but…forget it," he replied, continuing forward.

"Maybe we should be careful?" I asked. "I mean, you've got really good hearing, so why not –"

"I don't hear anything," he said. "It was probably just my imagination."

"Really?" I asked, looking around at the buildings of the school. I half expected to see a sniper on the roof of the A building, but I couldn't see anything amiss. I tried to keep up my vigil, but I couldn't get too much of a view from where we were.

"Around back?" he asked. I nodded. He turned toward the side of the building, but I lagged behind, shaking my head to rid myself of a dizzy spell.

"Hang on," he began, ignoring my lateness, "doesn't Krystal have that mind-reading power or something?"

"Yeah, but she's not..." I began, fighting a sudden memory loss. "I mean, she might not be the one we're here to find."

"You okay?" he asked. I took a deep breath, and felt the fog in my head clear.

"Yeah," I said. He looked around once more, and sniffed the air carefully. "What?" I asked sarcastically. "Is it too quiet?"

"Something like that," he said. "I just don't like this."

"Well, we're probably being watched," I said. "So that explains that."

"Still think it isn't a trap?" he asked. We rounded the corner to the back of the school, and I searched carefully for anything that was out of place. It wasn't a long search.

"Oh! You're early," a feminine voice crooned from nearby.

"Miranda?!" Relics shouted. "What are you doing here?"

"Why am I not surprised?" I asked under my breath when the woman appeared as if out of thin air. Her camouflage suit highlighted her feminine features, but something else distracted me. A breeze blew by, giving me just a taste of sickly-sweet air, but it was gone before I knew it.

"Me?" she asked innocently. "I'm here on orders."

"Whose?" Relics asked. Anger spiced his words, but to me, they sounded slightly warped. The scent returned for a few seconds, but disappeared again immediately after. Relics noticed, and sniffed it, too, before chuckling.

"You took Krystal, didn't you?" he asked. "And wanted to get Ditto, too, for some reason."

"What?" she asked. "What makes you say that?"

"Really?" he asked. "Why not just come out and say it?"

"You haven't figured that out yet?" she asked, her words sounding like they came through water.

"What?"

"Oh, Relics, I had to stall you for at least a few seconds," she said, but her words were lost on me. Something was making me sleepy, but I couldn't even feel panic with how muddled my thoughts were.

"For what?" he asked, before taking another deep breath. "This stuff is cheap; it doesn't even work on us."

"Not us, no," she said. "But it worked on him," she finished, pointing at me. I tried taking another deep breath as Relics turned toward me, but more of the sweet air assaulted my nose, and I remembered no more.

* * *

**A/N**: Dang. Two "cliffhangers" in a row. Maybe the next few chapters will be...erm...good? I'm still not sure just how good I am at writing; I mean, Sani seems to think I'm good enough to notice, but he says I should stop this one ASAP and do my own ideas. I think that's a cover for him wanting me to stop mooching off of his ideas, which is reasonable, but he wouldn't just come out and say that. So, I'll try to get out a new story once this one's done; look for "Darkness Shines", set in the Skyrim universe, to appear then.

Oh, right, and please leave a review, no matter how kind/helpful/true it is.


	29. Chapter 29: The Machine

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything you read about, pretty much anywhere. Feel free to use/copy it however you please, and remember; I'm allergic to lawsuits.

Okay, I should put this out as a warning: This chapter is likely going to be my last, of this story. Basically, I'm tired of it, a few others are, too, and as far as I know, nobody would care if it just disappeared. So, unless I am notified that a few people still want me to write more, I won't. This isn't just some ploy for more reviews; you can send me a PM instead. But I won't waste time writing this story when I could do so much more.

* * *

Chapter 29

_I'm dead_.

The thought wasn't profound, or even true. But with my mind still clouded by the ether, it seemed appropriate. The thought passed through my head again and again, forgotten the instant it passed from my mind. After an interminable time of the confused thoughts cycling through my sleep-muddled mind, I faded from consciousness again.

"...n't bel...ve what...into now..." I heard faintly, stirring my mind from its fog. "...s is...r fault..." A sigh stirred in the air, before the voice picked up again. "Do you...ear me?!" it shouted, before a small impact made me roll over. My mind finally registered panic, which forced me to take in my surroundings.

A cold, hard floor sat underneath me, which explained the sudden ache in my back. With my eyelids feeling like lead, I couldn't see how big of an area I was in, but I didn't feel wind behind the cold air. I tried pushing myself up onto all fours, but my arms gave out before I could even point my elbows up. I decided to just lie still, breathing deeply until more strength returned.

"It doesn't matter now... But...you should've told me...something," the voice said.

_That's Relics_, I thought, allowing myself to relax. _I'm safe_. I managed to get his attention by sharply taking in a breath, but he didn't do what I expected.

"It's about time," he muttered, moving around the room. "Get up," he said in an angry tone, nudging me with unnecessary force with his foot.

"What –" I began as my mind grew rapidly more alert. My eyes flashed open, and I pushed up onto my knees slowly.

"Let me ask you something," he began angrily, staring at me intently. "Where are you from?"

"What?" I asked again. "I'm from Earth, man, I thought –"

"Really?" he asked. His expression softened only slightly, and he paused for a moment. "Really?"

"Yeah," I said as convincingly as I could, crawling to my feet.

"Then these psychopaths who kidnapped Krystal lied to me when they claimed that you were from another universe?"

My blood went cold. "Wh-what?" I asked. "That's...crazy."

His fist clenched tightly, but he managed to control himself before anything was damaged. Even so, I took a step back.

"Ditto...you're not a good liar," he said darkly.

"But Relics, I –"

"Save it! I know Sharp and Miranda aren't the best people out there, but they wouldn't make this up. I had to nearly _beg_ them not to kill you, because they're convinced you're doing something that'll doom us all. Now, you're going to tell me the truth, and then we're going to see what they want."

"Krystal," I muttered as something registered in my mind. "Is Krystal okay?"

"For now," he said with a nod.

"Good," I whispered. I looked up at him again, and saw that much of the anger had faded from his expression. I didn't think I really had a choice, so I took a deep breath and began to tell him everything. From the previous journeys, to this universe's oddities, to every time Krystal was taken. I left nothing out, making sure I told him everything that I could. And every word I said was met with a stony expression from Relics, giving me no clues as to whether he believed me, or was merely preparing to punch me in the face. More than once, he shook his head and cursed, but he was otherwise silent.

Before I finished talking, I made sure to mention how many others knew. Jake and Joanne didn't even register on his face. Krystal, he apparently had assumed. But Falco seemed to surprise him; he must not have told anyone else, but I wondered whether it was only a matter of time. He reacted neutrally when I mentioned Fox, and even Miyu, but bristled when I said James had found out.

"James?" he asked. "James McCloud? The crazy Cornerian with military connections? How much did you tell him?"

"Wait a second you actually believe me?" I asked.

"No. I believe Sharp. Now, how much did you tell James?"

"Everything," I replied. "He knows about the 'human spies'."

"You what?! Ditto, what the –" he began, turning away.

"It was while you were in the simulator with Bill and Falco. Besides, I didn't even tell him; Krystal did."

"Ditto...if they were caught..."

"I know. It'd be a war. But would it be any better if they had found out on their own?"

"They wouldn't have found them...would they?"

"Maybe," I said with a smirk. "But that doesn't matter anymore. We have to get –"

"Krystal," he finished. "But trust me – we need to listen to Sharp, or he could get rid of both of you."

"Alright. But...what does he want?"

"I don't know," Relics admitted. "But I don't think you'll like it."

I let out a deep sigh. "Relics, whatever happens...make sure Krystal is okay."

"Of course," he said with a nod. "Are...are you ready?"

"...as I'll ever be," I said, and followed him out of the small room. I had to wonder the whole time why it felt like I was an animal being led to the slaughter.

"This is weird," I remarked as we walked through the building's halls.

"What?"

"These hallways look familiar. That night me and Krystal took that arwing..."

"No, Ditto. This isn't the same base. It might not even _be_ a base. They just look similar."

"Yeah," I said slowly, reaching a hand toward the wall.

"Ditto, this isn't the time to be depressed. We'll get her back."

"I know," I agreed, but my melancholy mood hovered, like a dark storm cloud just before a terrible storm. Something was going to go wrong, I could feel it.

* * *

"It's about time," a male voice said as Relics stepped into a room near the middle of the hall. I slowed, trying to steel myself against whatever might be inside.

"We had to talk," Relics explained to the unseen voice. I took a deep breath and followed.

The room wasn't very large, but it was plenty big enough to house a pair of arwings comfortably. A dark glass window separated me from a second room, accessible through a huge metal door, which sat closed and seemingly unmovable. Cane stood in that smaller room, behind a tied up Krystal. In the main room stood Miranda, Sharp, Relics, and an enormous machine, which alone dominated most of the room. The only feature of the machine which caught my attention was a bluish-green glass cylinder, large enough to contain a large man comfortably.

"You did bring him," Cane said with a nod, his voice scratching through a speaker. "I almost thought you'd let him go."

"Krystal," I said with relief, stepping toward the window. A firm hand on my chest stopped me, and I looked at Relics questioningly. He didn't withdraw his arm, but his look alone was enough to make me step back; there was no mirth in his eyes any more. It was only made worse when I shot the same look at Krystal, but she didn't say a word. She just looked back with the pain of shame in her eyes.

"Aww, you look like you're about to cry," Miranda mocked. I shot a glare at her, but it only made her laugh in triumph.

"That's enough," Sharp warned her. "Ditto, we need to talk."

"We 'need to talk'?" I asked in disbelief. "You kidnapped her just so we could talk?!"

"Calm down," Cane said.

""Calm d- how can you tell me to calm down?! You kidnapped _both_ of us! I didn't even know if she would die, or –"

"Nobody's in danger," Cane continued. "If you listen."

"Yes," Sharp said, ignoring Cane. "I had to have a bargaining chip."

"I'll keep her safe," Relics offered.

"Oh, no, 'six-four'. How can we trust you anymore?" Miranda asked. "And even if we did, Ditto here does, too. How about we just save you the choice, and keep her under close watch?"

"Close watch," Cane murmured with a smirk. Sharp took notice, and shook his head.

"Miranda, please relieve Agent Cane of his duty. He can stand out here, with the rest of us."

"What...?" I began, looking at him closely. He matched my stare with a disarming look, but I still didn't know if he was trustworthy. Even so, I almost thanked him for getting Cane out of that room.

"I told you," Sharp said. "We need to talk."

"About what?" I asked slowly, taking his bait.

"You. And, of course, what you're doing here."

"Didn't we already do this?" I asked. "You agreed to leave me and my friends alone?"

"We kinda are," Cane said with a smirk. "I mean, we haven't hurt any Cornerians, have we?"

"What? What do you mean, you have Krys–" I began.

"She isn't Cornerian, though," Cane put in, "is she?"

"Okay," I said with a nod. "What do you know?"

"Wrong question," Sharp said. "The question is, 'What should we know?' Now, those eggheads back home can worry about the details, but we already know you aren't from this dimension."

"Dimension? I thought it was a completely different universe."

Sharp shrugged. "Petty details. We also know about most of what you've done here, and...how to get you home."

"Huh?" I asked, standing up straighter. I looked toward the strange machine again, and felt a glimmer of hope. I glanced at Krystal again as she knelt, staring at the floor, and I felt a pulling in my chest as the two desires conflicted.

"Of course," Sharp said, "we had to make sure you had enough of a reason to leave."

"So..." I said as it clicked, "you couldn't use anyone else."

"Close enough," Cane said.

"You still can't force me," I said defiantly.

"What?" Cane said, slightly taken by surprise. "What makes you think that?"

"How many Cornerian citizens start to disappear before the authorities figure out what's happening? You can't just kill whoever you want."

"We can, actually. We can also beat, torture, r–"

"Thank you, Cane," Sharp said, cutting him off purposefully. "However, there is another reason we used her."

"Why? Because she's not technically Cornerian?"

"Close," Sharp said. His mischievous glare, though, made me rethink myself. "You two," he continued, "are linked. Connected. Somehow."

"What do you mean?" Relics asked.

"Ditto said that he's crossed between dimensions before," Miranda said. "Which means his mind can do what this machine was made to do."

"So hang on," I said, careful not to get lost in what would probably be a complicated explanation. "You took her because I can dream my way into videogames? And you built that thing to do the same? To put yourselves into videogames?"

"No, idiot," Cane said. "It's a weapon. Not some little toy."

"The machine, which has not been named by those eggheads yet, was made to grant us the power you hold. I believe you call them 'sins'?"

I felt my eyes widen slowly as his words' meaning struck me. If they had actually managed to get this machine up and running, there would be no war; it would be a slaughter. It would be infinitely worse than when atomic weapons were first created; the humans would be able to create armies from nothing, or merely obliterate their enemies, no matter where they hid. Corneria would be destroyed if General Pepper resisted, and no one would be safe.

"How?" I asked quietly, stunned by the very idea.

"Good question," Sharp said slowly. "I don't know how well you're following, so I'll try to make it easy for you. Your mind lets you cross the boundaries between dimensions. During a dimensional step, which is what we call your 'sin', you stand inside this boundary. Neither dimension seems completely real, and yet, neither one is really fake. You can mold them both, like you were merely daydreaming.

"When this machine was being designed, we didn't know if such a thing was even possible. It was only an idea, but the potential was too much for some to pass up. The first tests...failed spectacularly. And the first test subjects...well, some mistakes were clean, and others were...quite messy. But the last test was...about two weeks ago."

"That's when you showed up," Miranda said. "Just so you don't have to trouble your brain on that little detail."

"Yes," Sharp said. "When you showed up...and when she did," he added, gesturing to Krystal.

"Okay," Relics said. "So, this machine gets working, and it brings Ditto here? Why?"

"His dreams, of course," Sharp said. "He was about to show up in a completely different dimension, as far as we know. But we...caught him...with the machine, and he was brought here. Technology is amazing."

"But your dimensional step thing doesn't explain these," I said, rolling up my sleeve. The three marks sat dull and lifeless, which only added to the confusion.

"You said that those were a part of every one of your journeys into 'videogames'. How should I know that?"

"And Krystal...?" I asked, looking her way again. Her ears twitched at the mention of her name, but she remained otherwise motionless.

"Oh, I'm getting there," he said with a smirk. "Your mind and the machine were both trying to bring you here. Your mind would have you replacing someone from the target dimension, while the machine would have you appearing as yourself. But one of the two got you here, leaving the other...how can I say...without a target? It was still going to bring something or someone here, but it couldn't do it to you again. So, it likely reached into your mind and made a single figment of your imagination...real."

"But how does that have to do with..." I began, before stopping short. I looked at Krystal wide-eyed, who returned the look, before I glared at Sharp once again. "No. No, no, no! You can't prove that!"

"You think we would say this stuff without checking it out?" Cane asked. "We've looked. The _real_ Krystal is still living on her own planet. She may not even know what a human is."

"But you can't know that," I said in disbelief.

"Maybe we can, maybe we can't," Cane said with a shrug. "It makes less sense to say she teleported here, unless you also did that on purpose."

"It makes _no_ sense!" I shouted. "I can't date a figment of my imagination! Relics, you see her, right?"

"She is real," Sharp said. "At least, she is now. But she can change the future, just like you can."

"Ditto..." Relics said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and turned my glare upon him. The stern look had left him, though, and he managed to get me to calm down a bit.

"Now, for the real reason you're here," Sharp said. I looked up at him, fighting the slight headache I suddenly had. "You need to go home."

"What?" Relics asked. "Why?"

"You don't know?" Miranda asked. "Huh."

"You aren't supposed to be here," Sharp said. "Every time you make something happen in a way it wasn't supposed to, you tear the fabric of reality a little. I'm surprised you haven't noticed the holes already in the sky; they look like black stars by now."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"If you stay here, you'll break the universe," Cane said. "It'll probably kill everyone. And that includes your girlfriend over there. Or should I say 'ex-girlfriend'?"

"No!" Krystal shouted, finally speaking. She was quickly and forcefully silenced by Miranda.

"Okay, so she still likes you," Cane admitted, "but this is probably the last time you two will be seeing each other."

"Wait, you can't just get rid of Ditto," Relics said.

"You, six-four, _will_ stand down," Sharp commanded. "If we don't get him out of here, we're all in trouble. If you'll recall, we aren't supposed to be here yet, anyway. He's already got the furry hounds on our trail, and all we need is one more of his slip-ups before our mission is failed."

"Yeah, not to mention the whole 'universe breaking' thing," Miranda put in.

"But what about what's already changed?" I asked. "I've done things that can't be undone. I can't just leave, or it'll get worse."

"That, or it all goes back to normal," Sharp said. "Maybe it'll take some time, but one day, you and your mistakes will be forgotten."

"And Krystal?" I asked. "I can't leave her behind like that."

"She'll be better off without you," Miranda said. Krystal caught my eye and shook her head fiercely, but I was more inclined to believe Miranda.

"She's right," I said, even though the words tasted vile and brought tears to her eyes. "You'll be safer. Nobody will kidnap you, or threaten you."

"Ditto, what are you –" Relics began.

"She's right, though. If it wasn't for me, Krystal wouldn't be in so much danger."

"Ditto, if they're telling the truth, she wouldn't even _exist_ if not for you. And we don't even know if they _are_ telling the truth. I've never heard of that machine; it could just as likely kill you as take you home."

"You don't hear about a lot of things," Cane said.

"Ditto," Sharp said. "It's time to go."

"Hang on," Relics sad, stepping in front of me.

"Six-four," Sharp said slowly. "Stand...down."

I heard Relics take a short breath and hold it, but I knew as well as he did that he couldn't easily outmatch Sharp, let alone all three.

"It's fine," I said, stepping around him. "But I just want a few minutes. With Krystal."

"No," Cane said.

"Not likely," Miranda added. "I mean, you don't expect us to let you try to escape, do you?"

"How?" Relics asked. "You're putting him in an interrogation room; who could escape from there?"

"You saw those marks on his arm," Cane said. "If they start to glow again, he could take the girl and disappear to Earth, if he wanted."

"But, feel free to say your goodbyes here," Sharp said. "I'd recommend saying something like an apology. After all, she'll likely disappear when you do."

"W...what?" I asked.

"She might not, but considering how closely you two are linked, we can't be certain."

"Ditto, I'll be fine," Krystal said, standing. Her hands were still bound behind her, but she didn't look like she'd been harmed.

"She can come with me," I said, looking at Relics.

"To your dimension?" Sharp asked. "There are no Cornerians there. She'll be alone, even with you by her side. Would you be so cruel?"

"I can't just leave her," I said again.

"Well, will you be moved to leave if I do this?" Miranda asked, pulling out a blaster and holding it in the air. She leaned on one hip and fired a bright red beam into the ceiling, before aiming the gun toward Krystal.

"Okay, okay!" I shouted. "Don't hurt her!"

"Good," she said, putting the weapon away. "We don't want to hurt anyone, you know. But if you're going to continue threatening our universe, we will use force."

"True," Sharp said. "Relics is not meant to be here. Every minute he stays is tearing a hole wider. So, you need to go."

"Alright," I said with a slow nod. I pointed at Krystal and added, "Just tell me she'll be okay."

"She'll be fine," Relics said.

"Promise me," I said sternly.

"I'll get Miyu to be her personal bodyguard, if it makes you feel better," he said with a chuckle.

"Is that good enough?" Cane asked. "Your 'saying goodbye' takes forever."

"I'm ready," I lied, taking a slow step forward.

"You know," Sharp said as I continued, "this really is the right thing to do. We're not the bad guys. We're protecting the people of Corneria right now. We should get an award."

"So, what, I'm the bad guy?" I asked, stopping in front of the machine and turning toward him.

"You would only be the bad guy if you stayed and destroyed the universe."

I stared at him for a few seconds, clenching my hands and trying frantically to find a way out of this situation. But even if I found a way, I didn't actually think the three of them would lie about something as major as the universe falling apart. A really big part of me just wanted to stay with Krystal, even if she wasn't the "real" Krystal. But they'd taken that option away from me. I looked at Relics, but he only gave me a nod.

_There has to be something_, I thought, hoping that Krystal was listening. But I didn't hear a response before Cane got upset.

"Just get in the machine already! We'll handle the rest, and then we can all get on with our lives."

I turned back around, but I knew that there was no going back. If I got in, everything would be undone. Melissa would still hate Lana. Michael would still hate humans. And Relics would still have to go through everything, both good and bad.

"You seem to think you have a choice," Sharp said from right behind me, before a strong arm pushed me forward. I didn't fight it, though, and the class lowered around me smoothly.

"Finally," Cane said. "Now, we can tell you the truth."

"Cane," Sharp warned.

"Truth?" Relics asked. "What's the truth?"

"We can't just let Krystal go. We aren't that stupid; I mean, she can still change the future and break the universe," Cane explained.

"What are you saying?" I asked angrily.

"Nothing," Miranda said. "Not to _you_."

"Hang on," Relics said, "You said she would get out of here alright."

"I said she'd 'be okay'," Sharp corrected. "But...things change."

"No," I said, hitting the glass with a dull thud.

"I think it's just as dangerous to let her go as it would be to let you stay," he continued as if I hadn't spoken.

"Relics!" I shouted as a bright light flicked on above my head. "Do something!"

"He won't," Cane said, brandishing a blaster. "Even _he_ isn't that stupid."

"You can't hurt her!" I shouted, beating against the glass.

"Actually, I believe that I can. She's here on Corneria, she's fraternizing with the enemy...and she isn't human."

"You're a monster!" I shouted. The light above my head seemed to solidify, forming faint ribbons that spun around me slowly.

"Maybe," Sharp said, "but she's only here because of _you_."

I shook my head slowly, seething at his words; I didn't care if they were true, I just wanted to help her. But as the light thickened, it didn't look like I'd be able to.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as the light coalesced into a curtain, nearly blocking everything out. I saw a white flash from behind the window, before the ground dropped away, and I had the feeling of floating weightlessly. An instant later, the light around me dimmed to blackness, and I became unaware of anything.

* * *

**A/N**: That's a terrible cliffhanger for a final chapter, I guess. But, that's just how the cookie crumbles. Like I said, I don't really expect anyone to make me care about this story again. As such, I want to do another Starfox story. Ideas for it are forming already, but it could be a long time coming.

Oh, and that _was_ a lot of a cliffhanger, and it left a lot of questions unanswered. So, here's an epilogue that only raises more questions!

* * *

I shot up from a prone position, looking around frantically. The room I lay in, half-covered by bed sheets, was my own. My bed, my desk, my door. The realization sunk in slowly as my breathing calmed and my heart slowed. I was home. The machine had worked, but I didn't feel any happiness. I laid my head in my hands, struck by how suddenly everything had disappeared.

"Dang it," I told myself, shaking my head. I felt like I'd somehow messed everything up, and didn't even get a chance to fix it. By now, even if I went back, I would only meet the original, unchanged universe. And if Sharp had told the truth, Krystal would no longer exist. I looked down at my bare arm, clean of any traces of the _Sins_, and touched the skin tentatively. If there had been any doubts about being home, they were gone now. I sighed and tossed the covers aside, and my hand bumped into something solid.

"What the –" I began, when the lump moved. A vulpine head slowly raised itself and stared at me in confusion, before opening its mouth.

"Ditto?"


End file.
